


What are You Hiding Richie Tozier?

by Therealbleeks



Category: IT - Stephen King, Reddie - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Bisexuality, Drug Use, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Richie Tozier Comes Out, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Teenage Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Teenage Losers Club (IT), The Losers Club, reddie smut, richie and eddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 109,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22148779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Therealbleeks/pseuds/Therealbleeks
Summary: “I was scared.” He finally said.“Of what? Of me?” Richie asked.“No, not of you… Of what would happen to me if… if I admit that i'm in love with you.”Richie's breathing seemed to stop for a minute and his eyes widened, looking ridiculously big through his glasses.“Wait, what did you just say?” Richie asked as if he had just heard him wrong
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 268
Kudos: 674





	1. Sincerity is Scary

"I just want to make sure we are all prepared." Eddie said as his friends groaned.

"Eddie we don't need li-lists." Bill laughed, folding Eddie's carefully composed list of items into his pocket.

"Yeah Eddie." Stan chimed in. “We aren't twelve anymore. We know how to pack." He smirked, looking down at the empty seat beside him. "Well, most of us know how to pack."

Eddie looked at the empty seat. “Where is he anyways?"

Everyone shrugged it off and just carried on eating their lunch. None of them were at all surprised by Richie's lack of appearance at school. 

Eddie knew it was common for Richie to be late, even miss a couple days but he had been missing a lot more than a couple days or classes. This was day three and even if he didn't grace them with his presence, he would usually call Eddie later when he knew he'd be home from school to catch up with him on what he missed - since they had almost all the same classes.

All this wasn't enough to make any of the losers freak out yet... Richie Tozier is a mysterious being after all. The problem was they didn't know the other things Eddie knew... Richie had been climbing through Eddie's window almost every night for the past couple months when his parents became too much and he had to get away. At first it always startled Eddie when Richie would come through the window in the middle of the night, hitting everything on the way down. Eventually though, he found himself laying awake, excitedly waiting for that ruckus and the "Hiya Eds." that followed. They would usually stay up talking for a while and Richie would sometimes cry. Eddie would make sure not to make him feel bad about it when that happened and comforted him, being careful not to push. It was exactly the kind of love Richie needed from his best friend. By morning all traces of their late night talks, laughs and cries would vanish with Richie and they would pretend like none of it happened. They weren't sure why it had to be a secret or if it even was one, but there was a kind of unspoken agreement not to talk about it.

Richie had stopped coming around the time he disappeared from school too. He had gone silent (something Richie Tozier never was) and Eddie knew that something was definitely up.

Eddie looked over at Beverly who had a guilty look on her face. She out of everyone, was most likely to know what was going on with Richie. They had gotten pretty close a few summers back and have been inseparable ever since, to the dismay of Ben and Bill who are obviously still in love with her. It's not like that with Richie though. He's her best friend.

"Bev?"

Beverly stopped eating her sandwich and slowly looked over at Eddie forcing a big dramatic smile, letting some bits of food fall from her mouth.

Eddie grimaced at the sight but kept his questioning eyes on her.

She swallowed and sighed, knowing full well that Eddie wouldn't drop it. "It's nothing. He's been having some problems at home... but he's working it out." She said as she picked at the carrots on her plate, refusing to look at Eddie as she spoke, which made him feel even more out of the loop... like she wasn't giving him the whole information.

Eddie's brow furrowed as he slouched back, crossing his arms tightly against his chest. He looked down at his food - worry plastered on his face.

He had a bad feeling in his stomach about all of it and he desperately needed to talk to Richie.

What are you hiding Richie Tozier? Eddie thought. He suddenly felt a hand on his arm and looked over at Ben sitting next to him.

"Eddie stop worrying about all of us so much. We will see Richie when we meet up at Bill's after school for our trip." Ben assured him.

"Yeah... he wou-wouldn't miss it." Bill added.

Eddie would never admit it to Ben or any of the other losers, but it wasn't just him being neurotic Eddie. He worried about Richie a lot... more than the other losers. Maybe it was because Richie was more prone to accidents than the rest of them or maybe it was because he was his best friend. He didn't know... or maybe he did.

The losers all met at the Denbrough's after school and packed into Bill's van. Since he was the only one with a car the losers had appointed him driver for all loser adventures.

Eddie helped everyone organize their bags in the back of the van and couldn’t help but notice again that they were missing a certain glasses-wearing trashmouth.

"Hey Bill!" Eddie yelled over to the Denbrough boy who was waving goodbye to his parents.

Bill looked towards Eddie as he shut his front door and walked towards the van.

"Where's Rich?"

"Oh yeah, we are g-going to pick him up." Bill said as he opened the driver door and hopped in.

Eddie followed suit and joined the losers in the van, relieved that they were finally getting Richie.

"He said he ha-had to take care of a few th-things," Bill said as he buckled himself in and started the van up.

Eddie felt uneasy at that. He sat back in the passenger seat, looking out the window as they began to drive off, anxious to get to Richie's.

When they pulled up to Richie's, Bill quickly hopped out to knock on the door while the rest waited for him to retrieve the loud-mouth boy.

"I hope he's in a good mood today." Stan sighed out from the back of the van, “big-mouth Richie is better than sad-sack Richie... He's been killing the mood lately."

Mike put a hand on Stan's shoulder. "Stan, go easy on him. Something has obviously been bothering him." Mike was always so kind. 

Bev on the other hand didn't take well to Stan's harsh words and was very protective of Richie.

"Yeah, lay off him Stan!" She spat. "Not everyone has it so easy at home!"

"I didn't mean...We all have our own problems!" Stan said defensively. "I just meant I hope he's feeling better."

Everyone sighed at that.

"Yeah me too." Bev agreed.

Eddie was sometimes jealous of Richie and Bev's relationship. He was always under the impression that he was Richie's best friend. Sure they fought like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day they know everything about one another. Their passions, dreams, fears and pet peeves (that one Richie used against Eddie on multiple occasions).

The point is they have always been close... closer than the other losers. Then Bev came along and Richie just seems to tell her everything. Even things he wont tell Eddie. 

They all sat silent in the van, waiting for Bill and Rich when all of a sudden they jumped at the sound of screaming. They looked out the window towards the sound to see Bill backing away from the now open front door in fear.

The screaming was muffled but Eddie quickly rolled down his window to hear better and as he did the words began taking form.

"Boy I won't tell you again, you're not going anywhere!"

All of a sudden the curly dark haired boy that they all knew and loved came into view - stepping backwards halfway out the door but looking like he was struggling.

Eddie pressed his face against the front window to get a better view of what was going on and Mr. Tozier came into view. His aggressive hands were pulling on Richie's sweatshirt, trying to get him back inside.

Eddie blinked hoping this was just a nightmare but is wasn't. It was actually happening.

Bill seemed to snap out of his state of shock because he walked back up the stairs to the horrific scene unfolding in front of him.

"Mr. T-T-Tozier Sir, I thi-think there's b-b-been some kind o-of misunder-st-standing" Bill always stuttered worse when he was afraid.

"Shut your mouth, you stuttering idiot!" Mr. Tozier yelled back. ”You are staying right here you little shit!"

"Like hell I am!" Richie yelled as he kicked his father to get off of him.

That's when it happened.

The losers all gasped as they saw Richie's father swing his arm back and punch Richie in the face, knocking his glasses off and causing him to fall backwards on the cement stairs.

"Richie!" Eddie screamed. He swung open his door and ran out, unable to just sit back and watch anymore.

He heard the other losers call to him to come back but he was on autopilot, needing to get to Richie.

Eddie hunched over Richie and held the sides of his face. “Rich?! Richie?! Are you okay?!"

Richie just held his bleeding nose and cursed softly.

Bill started to help Richie up but Mr. Tozier walked out towards them grabbing Richie by his collar and shaking him violently.

"You think this is fucking funny boy?! Huh?! Think this is just some big joke?! Cuz I'm not laughing!"

"Stop!" Eddie screamed as he whacked Mr. Tozier on the arm. This surprised Eddie as much as it did Mr. Tozier.

The angry, drunken man whipped his head around to look at Eddie after his small hand struck him. He wore an evil smile - one that reminded him of Richie's when he told an inappropriate joke, but with much more malice. Their smile was the only thing they shared though. The rest of his features were hard and cold. Richie wasn't like him at all.

"And I suppose this is the little fairy that turned you into a faggot?" He let go of Richie and stepped closer to Eddie making him walk backwards. ”Your little boyfriend?"

Eddie couldn't believe the words coming from Richie's father's mouth. What was he talking about?

He wasn't Richie's... boyfriend?

"Get the fuck away from him!" Richie shouted.

Eddie kept backing away from him, seeing his life flash with every step he took. Mr. Tozier looked crazy, like a wild animal... and smelled like booze.

Eddie closed his eyes when he saw Mr. Tozier wind his arm back menacingly. He was ready to take the blow when he heard a loud smack and pained grunt in front of him. He assumed he was having an out of body experience and the assault he was hearing was his own demise, but when he opened his eyes he saw Mr. Tozier on the ground and Richie standing above him with a shovel.

Bill stood behind him looking like he was going to throw up.

"C'mon Eds. We have to go." Richie said as he took Eddie’s hand and ran them to the car, Bill following hurriedly behind.

Eddie was going to tell Richie not to call him that but he felt a little silly to worry about something like that right now so he kept quiet.

They jumped in as quickly as they could all in disarray. Legs and bodies falling all over each other as Bill hit the gas and got them the hell out of there.

They all sit there in silence, heaving and panting as the adrenaline raced through their bodies.

Eddie was on the brink of a full meltdown, taking puffs of his inhaler to calm himself down.

"What the fuck was that Richie?! Stan yelled from the back. "What...the...fuck."

Everything felt so heavy... too heavy for Richie. He didn't like being the cause of so much weight.

"I thought it was obvious.." Richie started. "Muh old man beat the shit out of me." He laughed stiffly.

"It's not funny Richie!" Ben yelled from beside him, tears racing down his face.

Ben, that beautiful sensitive boy. He may have grown a lot, becoming more of a jock than a book nerd, but he will always be sweet and caring Ben.

"Y-yeah Richie, No-not cool." Bill said looking back at him though the mirror. 

Richie suddenly felt ashamed. His face hot and turning red. He was the reason for his friend's anger and sadness. 

He turned his head around to the back. "Mike?"

He figured Mike the gentle giant would have his back on this.

Mike shook his head like a disappointed parent. "You should have told us man."

"Yeah!" Stan chimed in. "Like gave us some kind of fucking warning that your dad was going ballistic."

Richie turned back around and stared at his feet.

They all stayed silent for a moment.

"I thought you wouldn't come." Richie whispered.

"What?" Bill asked, confused.

"If I told you what was going on... I thought you guys wouldn't have come." Richie started to anxiously grab at the sides of his jeans. "And I'd be stuck there."

"Richie don't be an idiot." Ben said. "Of Course we would have come."

"We've faced worse things than your dad." Mike laughed.

"But shouldn't we like, call the police or something?!" Eddie suddenly shouted, still trying to calm himself down and clearly failing.

"NO!" Richie yelled. "No fucking cops."

"But Rich, that seemed super serious... you should tell someone what's going on." Mike said putting a strong hand on Richie's shoulder.

Richie flinched out of Mike's grip. Rejecting the gesture and the suggestion that went with it.

"Why?! So that they can ignore it just like every other adult in this shit town?! Or so they can throw me into a fucking foster home?! No."

"But Rich..." Eddie started.

"I said no!" Richie yelled again cutting him off. He didn't want to hear it. He'd been dealing with his parents by himself for years and that wasn't changing today.

"I'm going to be eighteen in two weeks... then I can get my own place."

It seemed unrealistic... but the losers didn't say anything, not wanting to upset Richie any more than he already was. 

The silence was broken moments later when Bev started to let out soft cries from beside Richie which made him turn towards her in surprise. Bev hardly ever cried... so he knew he fucked up.

"Woah, Bev... it's okay... I'm okay." Richie said, putting his hand on top of hers.

She quickly pulled her hand away. "No Rich!" She cried. "It's not fucking okay! Why didn't you tell me it was that bad?!.. I didn't fucking know he was..." she trailed off, unable to finish, her sobs choking her.

"I didn't want you to worry... any of you... besides I can handle it on my own."

Stan chuckled at that. "clearly."

Richie let out an annoyed huff. "It doesn't fucking matter anyways... I'm never going back there." 

Richie then focused his attention to Eddie in the passenger seat, Who had stopped talking and seemed to have checked out of the conversation.

Richie felt a rock drop in his stomach. Could what his father said to Eddie be getting to him? Did he hate Richie? Or think he was disgusting?

Richie leaned over to put his head between him and Bill and looked up at the small boy.

"Eddie?" Richie said softly. So softly in fact, most wouldn't have believed it was the loud-mouth Tozier. "Are you mad at me?"

Eddie shook out of his daze and looked down at Richie. It hurt to see him like that. Bleeding and bruised, at the hand of his own father.

Eddie may have his own problems with his mother, but she would never hurt him.

"That's a stupid fucking question Richie." Eddie said finally.

Richie dropped his head at that. Feeling even more angry with himself.

"I'm always mad at you... but I was worried about you too." 

"Wh-why was he so mad?" Bill asked. "Your d-dad."

Richie felt the rock in his stomach again... he knew eventually he would have to have this conversation with the losers. He just wasn't prepared for it to be now. He leaned back in his seat, fidgeting with his hands nervously.

Bev looked at Richie knowingly. Putting a hand on his forearm and letting him know with her eyes that it would be okay.

"I... told my parents that I'm bisexual."

The car went silent for a moment.

"You're a what now?" Stan asked, breaking the silence and sounding skeptical of Richie's newest revelation. Last week Richie swore he was Psychic and he saw that in his past life he was a pirate named Ernie Stumps. So forgive Stan for his lack of belief in Richie's understanding of himself.

Beverly turned to look at Stan. "It means hes attracted to boys and girls dumb-ass." She said defensively.

Eddie instantly felt nauseous. What the fuck were they saying? Richie likes boys? Is that what his dad was talking about?

"I know what it means Beverly!" Stan snapped back. "I just think Richie is confused, like he always is."

Beverly turned a shade of pink and was about to open her mouth to let out what they all knew would be the flames of hell.

Before she could start spewing her venom, Richie put a hand on her shoulder to let her know that it was fine. She didn't have to be so protective all the time.

Beverley had known about Richie for a few months now and promised to keep it a secret until he was ready to tell the rest of the losers and his parents.

Bev rolled her eyes at Stanley and turned back around, focusing her attention back to Richie and his coming out. "When did you tell them?" She asked.

Richie sighed. "Tuesday."

"And?" Bev pressed

Richie laughed at that. "well they obviously didn't take it well... they made me stay home from school and told me I wasn't going anywhere until they fixed me." Richie wore a sad smile as he spoke - trying to hide the hurt.

"They said I would ruin the family's name if I were to go gay-out with some boy."

"Is there a boy?" Ben asked abruptly.

Eddie felt something like a panic attack start building in his chest at the thought of Richie sneaking off with some random boy and doing god knows what.

Richie threw his hands up at Ben's question. "No! No! Nothing like that."

Eddie breathed out a little louder than he meant to, feeling strangely relieved.

"I just think guys are hot... in the same way I think girls are hot."

"Are you sure your not just horny?" Stan asked accusingly. "We are seventeen."

Beverly shot him a glare.

"What?! It's just a question!"

"Aw, are you trying to make sure your feelings are reciprocated Stanny?" Richie said teasingly, making kissy faces at him.

"Ew. No." Stan put his hands over Richie's face and pushed him away as the boy moved his face closer to him.

"Well we d-don't care what yo-you are Richie...Us L-losers stick together." Bill said.

None of them really knew exactly what this all meant but they loved Richie either way. They were his true family.

Richie's heart grew at Bill's words and after the last couple days, it's just what he needed to hear.

Ben and Mike both patted Richie's back to show him their solidarity.

"Yeah Rich, we love you." Ben said sweetly.

Richie couldn't help but tear up a little. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

"Shit you guys, you're a bunch of softies... We sure I'm the gay one?"

Mike squeezed Richie's shoulders from behind him. "Yup, that's all you buddy." He laughed.

Beverly put her head on Richie's shoulder. "Where will you go Rich?"

"I'm not sure, I just need somewhere to stay until my birthday. Then my parents can't do shit to me."

"You can stay at m-my place." Bill offered.

"Thanks Billy boy but your parents will definitely notice me being there. They are like Nazis... and we both know they wouldn't be okay with harboring a fugitive."

Bill sighed in agreement.

Beverly looked up at Richie with an apologetic look. She didn't have to say anything, Richie already knew.

"Don't worry Bev. I know you would help me if you could."

Bev couldn't offer Richie much help aside from emotional, living with a psychotic father herself.

"You can stay with me." Eddie suddenly said, much to everyone's surprise.

"Thanks Eds, but your mom..."

"Is going to be gone all next week." He Interrupted. "She's leaving tomorrow to visit my aunt... and don't call me that."

"She would leave you for that long?" Richie said in disbelief.

"Well... I'm supposed to be staying with Stanley's family, but I'm sure Stan will cover for me."

Eddie turned around to look at Stan who just gave him an annoyed thumbs up.

"Eddie, I don't want to get you in trouble. I can just hide out at your house alone and you can stay with Stan like you are supposed to."

"No way!" Eddie yell-laughed. "you are not staying at my house alone! I have to be there to make sure you don't burn it down!"

"Aw Eds cares about me." Richie said Reaching forward and pinching Eddie's cheek.

"Stop calling me that!" Eddie yelled as he swatted Richie away. "And no, I care about my things being left in your care!"

Richie clapped his hands together dramatically. "Alrighty then, It's settled! The young lord Kaspbrak will be accompanying me in Kaspbrak manor for the duration of this week-eth." Richie said in his horrible British-guy accent.

"Just don't get too comfortable." Eddie said as he rolled his eyes.

After talking and driving around town for a bit they decided to go ahead with their annual Halloween camping trip, even if everything that happened made it feel a little stupid.

Something familiar and stupid is just what Richie needed though. He was tired of the pity. He wanted to get back to being Richie. fun-loving, annoying Richie.

When they got to the rural camp site, about an hour out of town, they quickly set up. They had lost a lot of time in the chaos of everything and it was almost dark already.

"Did you not bring a tent Richie?" Bev asked when she saw Richie sitting on the picnic table, looking around aimlessly.

Richie looked as if he'd been caught, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, well when you're running away from home and never coming back there's a lot of things you gotta take with you... A tent wasn't one of those things for me."

Eddie stopped putting his tent together and stood up to walk towards Richie.

"Wait, Rich... you mean to tell me that everything you own is now in that backpack you're holding?" Eddie pointed at the small bag in Richie's lap.

"Well Jesus... it's not like I had time to fill a fucking suitcase! I just packed essentials."

Eddie reached into Richie's open bag and swiftly pulled out his Walkman sitting on top.

"This is essential Rich?" He frowned.

Richie quickly went to grab it back from him.

"Yes! Of Course!" He said a little offended. "Can't live without my jams."

Eddie leaned over to look inside at the other things Richie had deemed "essential".

Richie insecurely grabbed his bag and hugged it to his chest so Eddie couldn't see inside.

"Richie, it just looks like you packed a bunch of your tapes and some candy."

"So!" Richie yelled.

"Told you he can't pack." Stan's voice echoed from across the site.

Richie stood up in a fury and slammed his bag onto the ground in front of him, walking off into the woods.

"Rich, where are you going?!" Eddie called after him.

"Gotta pee." Richie said sharply.

About fifteen minutes after Richie had left, Eddie started to worry. 

"Hey, I have to go to the bathroom... I'll be back in a minute." Eddie lied as he headed in the direction that Richie had gone.

It took Eddie a while to find him, walking for a bit before he finally spotted him under a tree. He began walking towards him when he suddenly realized that Richie was crying, stopping Eddie in his tracks.

Fuck. What should he do? Comfort him? Walk away and give him his privacy?

Eddie took a step back and of course stepped directly onto a branch that made a very cinematically loud noise.

It startled Richie and he stood to his feet quickly, posing up for a fight. "Who the fuck is - Eddie?"

Eddie just waved awkwardly at him and smiled.

"Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack Eds." Richie said as he put a hand to his chest and let out a sigh of relief.

"I didn't mean to scare you Rich. You were just out here for a long time so I came and I saw you were having a moment and was going to leave and I'm sorry." Eddie said quickly.

"Oh... It's okay Eds. It's nothing you haven't seen before." Richie shrugged.

Eddie smiled sadly at him.

"Well let's go back I guess. I've got it out of my system now... I'm just glad it was you who found me and not one of the others. I'm so tired of being sad Richie but I know you understand."

Richie put a hand on Eddie's shoulder and Eddie couldnt help but be engulfed in his touch, feeling the electricity that followed flow through his whole body.

Richie started to pull his hand off when Eddie held his hand in place selfishly.

"Are you going to be okay, Chee?"

Chee, a name Eddie only called Richie when they were alone. It started as a joke, to get back at Richie for calling him Eds all the time... but it just kind of stuck.

"Yeah I'm going to be okay... I'm just a little overwhelmed with this whole being alone thing. I mean I've always been on my own, but now I'm like really ALONE."

Eddie squeezed Richie's hand that still cupped his shoulder.

"You're not alone." Eddie almost whispered while looking up at him.

Richie just smiled at that.

As Eddie looked up at him, he thought about how much the boy had changed. His once funny boyish features turned into something much more chiseled and mature. Of course he was still lanky and awkward, but he was also very tall and taut. His dark hair now growing unruly and curly on his head. He was in all honesty, very beautiful - and definitely didn't look like he belonged in the losers club anymore. He didn't seem to notice though, or care for that matter about his changing appearance. He still wore his over the top large glasses and tacky Hawaiian shirts. while also maintaining his infamous trashmouth. 

Eddie noticed that girls were interested in Richie now but he was too clueless to realize when they were flirting with him. Something Eddie was secretly grateful for.

Richie slid his hand off of Eddie's shoulder and started walking back.

Eddie instantly felt the loss of Richie's hand against him, his skin feeling like fire where they had touched. He watched Richie as he walked, waiting a minute before walking after him.

Eddie thought about how much he loved his best friend. How he was IN LOVE with his best friend... his deepest secret that he thought he would never tell. But now, looking at Richie, maybe he would tell him... and maybe Richie will feel the same. At least now there was a chance. 

"Spaghetti, are you coming?!" Richie called out to him.

"Yeah! I'm coming Rich!" Eddie said, starting to walk after him.

The losers all sat around the fire, laughing and telling scary stories. Just like they did every year.

Mike was the best at it. He had an awesome creepy storytelling voice.

Richie, (being the attention whore he is) didn't like sharing the spotlight so he put forward his best impressions and voices.

"And that's when he looked over and saw a message written in blood that read... people lick too." Richie Finished with the flash light shining dramatically on his face.

Everyone gasped and laughed at the twist ending of Richie's story.

"I don't think that's a very realistic story Rich." Eddie said from across the fire. He was cocooned in at least 3 blankets and only his face was sticking out. Making him look adorable - Especially to Richie. 

"Are you really going to Eddie my story right now?"

"What the fuck does that mean asshole?" Eddie asked shaking his head at the way Richie was using his name against him.

"It means just take it for what it was... a fucking awesome story!"

"Knock it off guys." Bev interjected before a full blown Richie/ Eddie fight broke out.

She stood up sleepily and walked towards Richie.

"It's two in the morning... I'm going to bed."

Bev ran her hand through Richie's dark curls lovingly. "You can sleep with me tonight in my tent if you want."

Richie looked up at her. "Nah, I'm sleeping with Eddie spaghetti tonight."

"And since when did I agree to that?" Eddie faked his displeasure.

"Since you have the biggest tent and the biggest heart for me Eds." Richie smiled as he outlined the shape of a heart in the air with his fingers at Eddie.

"Fine." Eddie said.

"Okay just please don't bicker all night long... some of us need to sleep." Bev said before taking her hand off of Richie's head and walking to her tent.

Soon after, the fire died out along with the conversation and everyone tapered off to head to their tents.

Immediately as they took off their shoes and laid down in Eddie's tent, Richie snuggled in close, wrapping his long arms around Eddie and pressing his face into his back.

"Rich what are you doing?"

"Cuddling, shh. Richie sleepy."

Eddie was going to protest more, but he decided against it, liking how warm Richie was.

It wasn't uncommon for them to do this, but it made Eddie feel a little weird now since he was coming to terms with how he feels about Richie.

Oh well. That's a problem for later. For now he just pressed his back into the chest of the person he loved most in this world and just let them sleep.


	2. So Far (Its Alright)

The losers made sure to wake up bright and early at Stan's request to be home for some family thing. They would usually stay all of Saturday, but this was fine. None of them were exactly in the mood to stay and pretend everything was okay when they knew that back in Derry a plethora of terrible repercussions probably awaited them. Did Richie’s father tell the other’s parents? Or worse... Will there be police waiting for them because Mr. Tozier made it look like they attacked him?

All of this was swimming through their tired, nervous minds as they packed everything up. Mostly just Grunting at each other as communication in their sleep deprived state. 

“Your face is probably on every street corner Richie.” Mike laughed as they continued to pack up the van. 

“Nah, Maggie and Wentworth wouldn’t go through all that trouble. Trust me, they are more than happy to be rid of me.” Richie assured them. 

“Then why was your dad so intent on keeping you there?” Eddie asked. 

Richie’s face turned sad and Eddie suddenly felt bad for saying anything. 

“I guess they were embarrassed by me and thought maybe a few days of… persuasion, would change me.” 

The words made Eddie sick. A few days. He hadn’t thought about how Richie had been stuck there all that time... unable to reach out for help. Eddie felt a growing pang of guilt fill his chest. He should have tried harder to find out what was going on with him. 

“I’m just lucky they stopped paying attention long enough for me to sneak to the phone and call Bill and have you guys get me.” 

Mike put his hand on Richie's shoulder and squeezed. A sympathetic gesture that was becoming the norm. 

Richie shook out of it as politely as he could. “C'mon guys let's stop talking about this. It’s over. I’m going to stay with Eddie and then I’m going to have my own place and you guys can come over all the time.” 

“Okay Rich.” Mike said smiling and the rest just nodded. 

It started to rain just as they finished packing up and they all piled into the van. Eddie and Richie scooted into the back and Eddie propped his tired head on the window and closed his eyes. Soon after he felt the sudden weight of Richie's head on his shoulder. 

Eddie leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Can we go back to sleep when we get to my house?” 

“Definitely.” Richie agreed. 

Immediately when Bill dropped them off at the Kaspbrak’s Eddie worked quickly to find the key that his mother tried to hide (tried). When he did, they opened the door and dropped their stuff on the ground in the doorway and kicked off their shoes. They couldn’t be bothered since there were no parents around to tell them otherwise, and Eddie was just too tired to be neat right now. 

Richie sprinted up the stairs to Eddies room with long strides. “I call your bed Eds!” He said laughing and picking up speed as Eddie now chased after him, trying to pull him back by his hood. 

“No way trashmouth!” 

Richie pulled open Eddies bedroom door, struggling with Eddie hanging on to him. 

“Home sweet home.” Richie laughed out as he stumbled over to Eddies bed. 

“No Richie! You haven’t showered!” 

“Neither have you!” Richie struck back. 

“But I know where I’ve been!” Eddie sniffed at Richie. “You smell like ass.” 

Richie didn’t actually in fact smell like ass. Eddie hates to admit it, but he loves Richie's smell. Like cigarettes and something sweet… like cinnamon - probably from all the candy he eats. It was mixed with a pine smell now; from sleeping outside most likely, but Richie's natural smell was still there. 

Richie ignored Eddies insult, still reaching for the bed… Just for the thrill of annoying Eddie at this point. Richie would have happily taken the couch but this was way more fun. 

“Fine!” Eddie finally said, exasperated, letting go of Richie and making him fall into the bed. 

“I knew you’d finally cave and admit you want to get me in your bed.” Richie said over his shoulder with a wink.

“Whatever.” Eddie said flustered. 

Richie's sex jokes usually rolled off of Eddies shoulder after hearing them for years but now they were getting to him. 

Richie sat up and crawled further onto the bed. Pulling Eddies perfectly made bed apart and getting under the covers so that nothing but his face was peaking out. 

“Cozy.” He said wiggling around in the warmth. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“Can I at least give you some new clothes so you don’t completely contaminate my bed?” 

“I have other clothes in my bag.” Richie pointed out. 

“Not clean ones.” Eddie said knowingly. 

Richie shrugged at that. Eddie was always right. 

Eddie started shuffling through his closet to find something that would fit Richie. He was a lot bigger than Eddie so it proved challenging. Not that that was shocking... Everyone was bigger than Eddie. 

“Ah ha!” He said as he found his old night shirt. It came down to his knees, so it should fit Richie. 

He threw it behind him onto the bed. 

“Thanks Eds.” 

Eddie started looking through his drawers to find Richie some pants to wear too when he saw something that made him feel a little tingly.

No. He can’t do that. That’s like...objectifying Richie. But the thought of seeing Richie in them was just too intriguing and so Eddie pulled out his little red short shorts and threw them at him with haste. 

“There you go.”

Richie sat up and held the little shorts up and immediately burst out with laughter. 

“Eds you can't be serious… My dick would never fit in these!” 

Richie tossed them back at Eddie who was hiding his disappointment. 

“I’ll just wear my boxers.” 

Eddie’s throat felt tight at that. “Alright.” He said as casually as he could manage. 

Why was he being like this? He always liked Richie and he never had a problem hiding it until now. In fact, He barely thought about it, always pushing it deep down. Richie’s coming out changed everything for Eddie. Like suddenly the universe was saying “the ball is in your court.” 

It was no longer an impossible idea for Richie to like him back and that alone was enough to make Eddie want to accept himself… or at least try. 

Eddie pulled out his change of clothes and walked out into the hallway to the bathroom. 

He got changed and cleaned up the best he could, making sure to put on a little extra body spray since he didn't shower and was going to be in close proximity to a certain curly headed beauty. 

He stopped to look at himself in the mirror before leaving. Pointing a stern finger at himself to get his head in the game. 

“Keep it together Kaspbrak. It’s just Richie. Just because he’s bi and you're in love with him doesn’t mean anything is going to happen. This is just like every other sleepover.” 

After he was done convincing himself of things that probably weren't true, he walked out of the bathroom and stopped at the door when he saw Richie pulling his sweatshirt off. He was sitting at the edge of the bed facing away from Eddie, so he didn’t notice him. 

As he slid his sweatshirt off, his shirt underneath trailed up his back and revealed lashes. Fresh and blistering. 

Eddie stepped back, holding in a gasp as he put a hand over his mouth. 

They did this to him. They hurt him. 

Richie looked uncomfortable as he pulled his other shirt over his head as well. 

He hid his hurt so well in front of everyone, but when he thought he was alone he let himself wince softly in pain as the fabric grazed his open wounds. 

Eddie watched as Richie carefully put the shirt Eddie gave him on, careful to not irritate his beaten skin. 

Eddie’s heart broke.

He thought maybe he should say something, but Richie had already made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. So Eddie let it go. 

Richie turned around and laid back down on the bed in his boxers and Eddies shirt. 

Eddie pretended to just be walking in, faking a yawn and crawling into the bed beside Richie. 

“You sleeping with me then Eddie my boy?” 

“Well yeah, it’s my bed. I won’t be forced to sleep on the couch or a dirty floor just because you’re here… Now go to sleep so we can still wake up at a decent hour.” 

“Yes sir!” Richie saluted. 

Eddie’s eyes closed as he tried to drift to sleep. After a few minutes he peaked his eyes open to look at Richie who was either already asleep or almost. 

He laid above the covers, spread out with his long arms above his head. His face looked softer when he slept, more like the little boy he used to be. He had taken his glasses off and Jesus, what a sight. The giant glasses really hid his face. He could’ve been a model. Eddie was sure of it. He would never tell Richie that of course. The boy didn’t need any more of an ego boost.

Eddie closed his eyes again and tried to fall asleep, which was proving to be difficult when Richie was laying beside him… looking like that.

He was startled when he suddenly felt Richie wrap his arms around him, forcing Eddie’s face into his chest. It was like Richie couldn't help but touch Eddie when they were this close. 

Eddie took a breath in and smelt that familiar Richie smell. He felt comfort in his arms and drifted quickly into sleep. 

When Eddie finally woke up he realized that Richie wasn’t there. 

Eddie quickly flew up and looked around his room a little dazed and saw that his alarm clock said 2:12 pm. He slept much longer than he'd planned. He groaned and kicked himself to get up and figure out where his trashmouth was. 

As he walked down the stairs he started to smell food. Pancakes and eggs. Richie. 

When he turned the corner to see into the kitchen he saw the annoyingly tall boy hunched over the stove, shaking his hips and singing along to the music on the radio. 

It was playing Just like Heaven by The Cure, the sound filling the room.

Richie hadn’t noticed Eddie, obviously. His dancing proved that much. 

Eddie stood there for a minute taking in the sight of Richie swaying back and forth in only his boxers and Eddies shirt with his glasses pushed back on the top of his head.

Eddie couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. 

Richie turned towards Eddie quickly, not seeming embarrassed at all. 

Eddie was always jealous of Richie’s confidence. 

“Good morning cutie.” Richie said smiling. “I made breakfast.”

“It’s the afternoon Rich.” 

“Well then I made lunch.” Richie said shrugging, ignoring Eddie’s blatant need to constantly be right.

“Sit down Eds, I’ll bring you your food.” 

Eddie gave him a weird look but Richie pouted at him in return, pleading with his eyes. 

“Fine.” Eddie said, walking towards the dining table.

Eddie caught Richie glancing at him as he walked and smirking as he continued to work on putting everything together. 

“What?” Eddie questioned. Was there something on his face? 

“Nothing Eds, you just look really cute right now.” 

Eddie blushed at that, looking down at his little shorts and big t shirt that was slipping off his shoulder. He must of had bedhead too. 

You look cute too Rich. No, you look hot. Fuck.

“Don’t call me Eds and don’t call me cute.” 

Richie just laughed and finished up filling their plates with the food he’d made and shutting off the stove. 

He walked over and placed Eddie’s plate in front of him. 

Two eggs and a heart shaped pancake.

Eddie looked over at Richie as he sat beside him with his own (much bigger) plate of food in front of him. 

“Why did you make my pancake heart shaped?” Eddie asked. 

“Because I wanted it to be as cute as the person eating it.” Richie said as he reached over and pinched his cheek, to which Eddie slapped his arm away. 

“It’s the least I could do since you're letting me stay here… thank you.” 

“Of course Rich.” Eddie smiled. “you're just lucky the one time my mom decided to leave was when you decided to drop the bomb.”

“The bomb being my sexuality?” Richie asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Eddie just stayed quiet at that and continued to eat. 

They ate in silence, listening to the radio and Eddie couldn’t help but think about how domestic it was and how this is what it would feel like to be married. 

Married to… Richie? 

When Richie finished he threw his head back and rubbed his full stomach. 

“I swear you are like a black hole.” Eddie scoffed. 

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” 

Richie stood up and took care of their plates and started cleaning up the dishes. Eddie helped of course, not trusting Richie to do it properly on his own. 

They spent the rest of the day watching movies and playing games, doing pretty much the same thing Sunday as well. 

Eddie felt a little lazy since most Sundays he would be helping his mom with chores and cleaning the house. He didn't really mind this though, just relaxing with Richie. It was hard for Eddie to be care free but Richie made it easy. 

“It’s 10:00 Richie, we have school tomorrow.” Eddie huffed as he watched Richie put in yet another movie. 

“C'mon spaghetti! Don’t be such a party pooper.”

“Whatever.” Eddie said standing up. “You can be tired tomorrow, but I’m going to bed.” 

Richie just waved him off. “I’ll be up in a little while.” 

“Alright.” Eddie said as he headed up the stairs. 

Eddie had planned on going to sleep as soon as he laid down, and he really tried... But the echoes of Richie's laugh as he watched the movie downstairs was keeping him up. Not because it was particularly annoying, but because it wasn’t… it was nice to have Richie there. His presence made the house feel less lonely and more full somehow. 

Eddie was overthinking again. It wasn’t until Richie finally came in that Eddie realized how long he’d been just lying there.

“Eds, are you asleep?” Richie asked as he crawled into the bed and snuggled in close to Eddie. 

Eddie decided to stay quiet and pretend he had fallen asleep a while ago, like he had been so adamant about in the first place. 

When he doesn’t answer, Richie sighed and pulled some of Eddie's soft brown curls from his face lovingly. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you Eds.” He whispered. 

Wait what?! 

It took everything in Eddie not to break out of his fake sleep and demand answers but he didn't. He just felt the weight shift on the bed as Richie turned over and fell asleep. 

Great. If Eddie was having trouble falling asleep before, he was screwed now. 

Eddie woke up in a panic. His alarm hadn’t gone off and it was 7:30am. 

“Richie! Richie!” Eddie yelled as he stumbled out of his bed and hurriedly pulled on some jeans and swapped his sleep shirt for a light green polo. 

He rushed into the bathroom, brushing his teeth, washing his face and combing his hair all at once. he didn’t have time to shower which would usually disgust him but the panic of being late for school outweighed that thought. 

Eddie practically tripped over his legs as he ran down the stairs. “Why didn’t you wake me up asshole!” He shouted, but then stopped in his tracks when he saw Richie was on the kitchen phone. 

Richie was doing a voice, in the highest pitch he could get. 

“Yes, my Eddiekinz is very sick and won’t be able to attend school today.”

Eddie lunged at Richie to try and grab the phone out of his hand.

“What are you doing?!” Eddie demanded. 

Richie just ignored him and pushed him back, annoyingly effortlessly. Richie was skinny, but he was stronger than he looked. 

“Mmhhmm. Mmhhmm.” Richie hummed into the phone. “Great. thanks!” And with that he hung up.

“What the fuck was that?!” Eddie yelled. 

“Your welcome.” Richie said leaning over and smiling at Eddie smugly. 

“Richie I can’t just ditch school.” 

Richie was already dressed and pulled out his bright neon green jacket from his backpack, pulling it on.

“But I need your help Eds. We are on a rescue mission today.” 

Eddie scoffed “what the hell does that mean?” 

Richie finished slipping his boots on and then put an arm around the nervous looking Eddie who stiffened up at his touch.

He held out his arm in front of them as if he was painting a picture for Eddie. “It’s going to be a day filled with danger, a damsel in distress and adventure!”

“Just tell me what we're doing idiot.” Eddie said as he wiggled out of Richie’s grip.

Richie sighed. “My truck. It’s still at my parent’s house in the back.” 

“You have a car?!” Eddie yelled. “Since when?!” 

“A truck.” Richie nodded. “It was supposed to be a surprise. I was fixing it up and I just got her working.” 

Eddie groaned “You're really going to risk getting killed by your dad for a junky old truck?”

Richie gasped “Red is not just a truck! I didn’t spend my last three summers doing yard work and saving for nothing! Besides, Went won’t be there… he’s at work. That’s why we have to do it today. The longer I wait the more likely he is to booby trap the place!”

“Why didn’t you just do it yourself Richie? This isn’t exactly a two man job.” 

Richie looked down at his feet. “Yeaaahhh, but I don’t really want to have to go by myself and you're my extra muscle in case anything goes wrong.” Richie laughed as he playfully hit Eddie’s arm. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Sure, and what do I get out of this endeavor?” 

Richie stepped closer to Eddie, hunching down so that they were almost eye level. “Well what do you want Eds?” 

Eddie’s eyes focused down on Richie's lips that were slightly parted. He gulped and stepped back. The closeness making him dizzy.

“Well, for starters you could stop calling me Eds.” 

Richie laughed and shrugged “Sorry, but that’s never going to be part of any deal I make with you… Eds.” 

Eddie thought for a moment about what he would want in exchange for helping Richie. Not that he really needed anything, but the opportunity to get Richie to do almost anything was enticing since it never happened and he wasn’t about to pass it up. 

It suddenly dawned on him what Richie had whispered last night. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you Eds.” Eddie wanted to know what he meant. 

“I want to know what you meant when you whispered to me last night.” Eddie blurted. He instantly regretted it when he saw Richie's face go pale. 

“What?”

Eddie’s eyes were like daggers, searching Richie for the truth. 

“I… uh...didn’t know you were awake.” Richie said nervously. 

It was strange to see the usually confident boy like this. Eddie felt kind of guilty for bringing it up but Richie’s reaction to it only made him want to know more. 

“Well I was.” Eddie said bluntly. 

“You didn’t say anything.” 

“Yeah well, I didn’t feel like talking.” 

Richie smiled slightly. “Or you just didn’t want me to know you stayed up anyway even though you said you were going to bed early.” Richie paused. Eddie saw a perverted light bulb go off in his head and a strange look appeared on Richie's face. 

“Eds.. what were you doing?” Richie looked Eddie up and down. Obviously insinuating that Eddie had been doing… private things. 

Eddie felt like his body was on fire with Richie's eyes on him.

“Nothing! I was just laying there!” Eddie said defensively. “God, Richie why do you always have to do that?” 

Richie laughed. “Okay okay Eddie. Geez.” 

“Stop dodging the question Richie! You asked me what I want and I told you. I want to know what you meant by maybe someday you’ll tell me… tell me what?” 

“Pshhh. I don’t know what I was talking about... I smoked a little before I came up.” 

“You didn’t smell like weed.” Eddie snapped back. 

“I did it outside and aired myself out so you wouldn’t yell at me.” Richie lied.

That sounds like bullshit Rich.” Eddie frowned. 

Richie just looked down at that. 

Eddie sighed, grabbing his backpack off the counter. “Fine, I guess I’m walking to school…” 

Eddie began to walk towards the front door warningly and just barely touched the doorknob when Richie grabbed his arm. 

“Fine, I’ll tell you… but you have to help me first.” 

“Promise?” Eddie asked sternly.

“Yeah I promise.” 

Eddie nodded and then dropped his backpack. “Let’s go then.” He said as he opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! much more to come! :)


	3. Be My Mistake

Richie and Eddie walked to Richie's parents house a few blocks away. They didn’t talk much - Richie's promise of telling Eddie what he meant looming over them. 

“See, nobody's home.” Richie said as they walked up his parents driveway to see no cars in the garage. 

“C'mon Eddie, this way.” Richie beckoned, heading around the side of the house. 

“Okay, but let’s hurry up.” Eddie said nervously. He never wanted to cross paths with Richie's father again, not necessarily in fear of the man himself, but what Eddie might do in anger. 

His mother had always taught him respect adults. But Eddie could never respect someone who would hurt Richie like that, a boy who did nothing but make people laugh and smile. Eddie couldn’t think of anything more evil than someone who would try to crush that light.

Eddie followed him through the tight path between the fence and the side of the house when Richie paused in front of a window. His bedroom window. 

Richie began to try and pry it open. 

“Richie! You said we were just getting your car... what are you doing?!” 

“Calm down Eds. I just need to grab a few more of my things.” 

Richie finally popped the window open and climbed through with ease. He’d obviously done this a few times before. 

“Okay, just be quick.” 

Richie jumped down into his room. 

“You can come in too. It’s cold out there.” 

Eddie didn’t want to, but he also didn’t want to catch pneumonia so he nodded and carefully pulled himself up and started to try to come through. 

Richie saw the shorter boy struggling and came over to help him. Letting Eddie use him as support as he jumped down. They made eye contact for a moment after, Eddies hand still lingering on Richie's shoulder. 

“Thanks.” Eddie said bashfully. 

Richie just smiled and then pulled away, looking around at his room a little sad. 

Eddie hadn’t been in Richie's house in years. It still smelled the same as he remembered. Like the vanilla candles Richie's mom loved so much. 

Richie's room was a lot different than he remembered but exactly what he would’ve thought Richie's room would look like. 

Music posters covered the walls from top to bottom besides the couple shelves he had that were home to all his weird Richie knickknacks. Things like rocks and old broken figurines. Stuff that most other people would see as garbage, but Richie saw the beauty in. 

His desk was covered in papers filled with what looked like music lyrics to Eddie when he walked by. 

Richie grabbed a spare bag he had under his bed and started to fill it with clothes mostly.

It kind of broke Eddie’s heart to see the things Richie wasn’t taking. That he couldn’t take. Things that were a part of him that Wentworth and Maggie would inevitably probably just throw out. 

When Richie filled his bag with everything he could fit he stood up throwing it around his shoulder. 

“Ready?” Eddie asked, starting to head back towards the window. 

Richie looked around his room. Seemingly taking a mental picture. 

Richie then looked out into the hallway. “Hold on a sec.” He said, walking out. 

Eddie wondered what he could be going to get but when he followed Richie out into the hallway to see him walking slowly and touching the walls as he past, it clicked. 

Richie was saying goodbye. 

He was taking everything in one last time. The walls and floors of his childhood. Not all the memories there could be bad after all. 

Richie turned the corner to go into his parents bedroom. 

Eddie followed behind, not wanting to be too invading of Richie's space. 

He saw Richie open his mother’s closet and pull one of her T-shirts from a hanger. Richie hugged the piece of fabric close to his chest and took a breath in. 

Eddie watched in sympathetic silence. 

“I hope she’ll be okay… with him.” Richie said as he turned around to face Eddie. His cheeks were red and tears were falling from his eyes. 

Eddie immediately went to Richie pulling him into an embrace, letting his head fall to his shoulder. 

“I know she loved me. I know it. He brainwashed her.” Richie sobbed into Eddie. “He encourages her drinking to keep her weak.” 

“Shhh. It’s okay.” Eddie said as he rubbed the back of Richie's head entangling his fingers in the curly black mess of hair. 

They sat like that for a minute before Richie sat up and dried his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.

“Shit. I’m sorry you are the one that always has to pick up my pieces.” He sniffed. “It’s not fair to you. I just feel safe… with you.” 

Eddie took Richie's face in his hands. “Hey, what are best friends for?” 

Eddie saw something like sadness in Richie's eyes at his words. 

"Eddie..." Richie started.

All of a sudden they heard the front door open and close loudly. 

“Shit.” They both said in unison. 

Richie threw his mother’s shirt back into the closet and hurriedly shut the door and booked it out of there, grabbing Eddie’s wrist to lead them back to his bedroom. 

Before they could get there, they were cut off by Richie's mom who turned the corner and froze when she saw them. It felt like an attack, but she stood there just as shocked to see them as they were her. 

“Richard?” Her voice sounded scared. 

Richie didn’t say anything, he just stared at her. 

Eddie remembered now where most of Richie's features came from, looking at his mom who had the same sunken in cheekbones and sharp jawline. Her hair was just as unruly and her eyes were exactly Richie's. Dark and kind. She definitely didn't give Eddie the same nervous feeling that Richie's father did. 

She looked around anxiously. “You need to go.” She said. But there was no anger in her voice. Only fear. Fear for her son. 

Richie just nodded and led Eddie into his room. He helped Eddie out the window again and followed quickly behind him. 

“Go around to the back! We still have to get Red!” Richie shouted at Eddie when he saw him going the wrong way.

“Seriously?” Eddie groaned but followed Richie into what he felt in his bones, wouldn’t be good. 

The old, big red truck was in the back just like Richie had said. 

Richie ran to it and pressed his body up against the doors and kissed it. 

“Shhh. Daddy’s here baby.” Richie whispered to the truck, placing his bony finger on it as if to silence the trucks non-existent mouth. 

Eddie gagged at his words. “It’s just a truck Rich, get a grip.” 

Richie shot Eddie a dirty look before reaching under a tire and grabbing the keys he left, jingling them in success. 

“Let’s start her up, shall we?” Richie said. He started to open the drivers door when a large, bony hand slammed it shut. 

“Well, well, well.” Richie's father sneered. “I knew the rat would come back eventually.” 

Richie and Eddie both just stood frozen. 

“What? No smart-aleck remark?” 

Richie stayed silent.

Wentworth lunged at Richie. “Answer me boy!” 

“I came for my truck.” Richie said, breathless.

Wentworth laughed a wicked laugh. 

“And what? You think I’m just going to let you drive off with it and your little boyfriend?” 

“It’s mine.” Richie said, not making eye contact with his father. 

“Nothing is yours! Nothing!” Wentworth screamed in his face. 

Richie was breathing heavily. 

Eddie started to creep closer wanting to pull Richie out of there and runaway. 

“You stay back.” Went pointed a finger at Eddie. 

Richie half turned to Eddie, like he had just remembered he was there. 

“Eddie, go.” He said. 

“Richie, I’m not leaving.” 

“Go!” Richie yelled this time turning all the way around to face him. He mouthed I’m sorry.

Eddie just shook his head. 

“You heard him! Get out of here!” Wentworth yelled at Eddie.

With that, Eddie turned around and started to run. Tears falling down his cheeks. 

He stopped when he heard the sound of yelling and Richie's pained cries behind him. 

Eddie should call the police. He needs to call the police. He’s got to help Richie, but Eddie remembered what Richie said. No cops. 

He guessed it was up to him alone but he wouldn't leave Richie. Eddie turned around, more upset than afraid now. 

He quietly crept around the corner of the house to see something that tore him up. 

Wentworth had Richie up against the side of the house and was slamming him into it. “Ungrateful fucking joke of a son!” He screamed.

Richie’s mother was out there too now, standing behind Richie's father. “Went! Went stop it!” She yelled. 

“Your an embarrassment! You shame your mother and I!” He screamed, spitting in Richie’s face. 

Who would have thought that the friendly neighborhood dentist was such an abusive piece of shit. Eddie thought.

A few feet away from the scene were the keys to the truck Richie had dropped. 

Eddie could make that. Yeah. 

He waited for a moment, making sure Wentworth wasn’t paying attention before running as fast as he could to grab the keys and then rolled behind the truck to hide. 

Eddie could feel his heart knocking against his ribs so hard he thought it might explode. 

He peaked around the corner to see if anyone saw him. They didn’t. 

Eddie let out a sigh of relief. Eddie was fast. He’d always wanted to join track but his mother never would let him. Said it was too strenuous on his body… well at least he was putting it to good use now. 

Eddie crept over to the passenger side of the truck and quietly opened the door and slid in. 

He did his best to keep low and wiggle over to the drivers side. One good thing that came of him being so small - Being invisible. 

Eddie took one last breath in, knowing this next part was going to be the single most insane thing he’s ever done. (That and fighting a child eating space clown.) 

He quickly started the truck. (thank god it actually started). Eddie was a little less than sure about Richie’s handy work on the truck. 

He could see all of the Toziers whip around in shock at the start of the engine through the mirror and couldn’t help but smirk at that. He rolled down the window and shouted. “Get your ass in the truck!” 

Richie sprinted past his father, stumbling a little. 

Went tried to grab him but he was too quick, running over and jumping into the passenger seat.

Went smashed his hands on the window of the truck. Spitting at them with pure rage in his eyes. Eddie swore he could see skulls in them. 

“Drive Eds! Drive!” Richie yelled. 

And with that Eddie sped off. Leaving Went to stumble onto the ground trying to hang on. 

They drove a little ways down the road before Richie started to laugh. “Eds, that was the most bad ass thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Eddie couldn’t help but feel proud at that. Eddie kaspbrak, international bad ass. 

“You’re my hero!” Richie said kissing Eddie’s cheek, Pure adrenaline rushing through him.

Eddie blushed at that.

“You're unbelievable Rich, you know that?” Eddie said, pushing his hair back in disbelief and coming down from his high. 

Richie laughed. “You are just full of surprises Eds. You were so brave.” 

“I can be brave.” Eddie snapped. 

“I know.” Richie said looking over at Eddie and smiling. They stared for a minute before Richie snapped out of it. 

“So, I guess now I really owe you that answer.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and looking a little nauseated.

Eddie’s heart stopped. He’d forgotten about that. 

“Maybe You should pull over.” Richie said. 

Eddie nodded and pulled off to the side of the empty road. 

They stayed quiet for a minute. Eddie could tell Richie was trying to collect his thoughts. 

“Eddie..” Richie finally spoke. “What I meant when I said that… what I want to tell you…” Richie stumbled over his words. He huffed in frustration before saying “fuck it.” 

He leaned into Eddie, pushing his lips against Eddie's softly. 

He pulled away soon after, careful not to go overboard In case it was not reciprocated. 

Eddie was in a state of shock. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. He was dreaming. 

“Eddie?” Richie said nervously, searching his eyes. “In case you don’t get it, that means I...” 

Without speaking or thinking Eddie cut Richie off by grabbing His face and bringing him back in for a deeper kiss. He craved to taste more of him. 

It really was everything the romance movies said it would be. It was everything because it was Richie and Eddie. The world seemed to drift away as they pressed together, tasting each other and breathing each other in. 

Eddie craved more. More. Chasing Richie's lips when he tried to pull away to catch his breath or start talking. 

Richie started to lick and nip at Eddie's bottom lip. Eddie got the hint, parting his lips so Richie's tongue would have full access to his mouth. 

As he felt Richie's tongue explore him he started to feel a familiar heat pool in his stomach and pulled on Richie's hair - which made him moan. 

God, Richie moaning was everything Eddie thought it would be. low and raspy. The sound alone was enough to make Eddie lose it right there. 

Richie started to trail kisses down the side of Eddie's face into his neck. Licking and sucking a sensitive spot, making Eddie shiver. "Richie..." He said breathlessly. 

Eddie could hear the sounds of the fireworks go off in his head. Boom. Boom. Crash. With every move they made. 

The fireworks in his head quickly warped into a voice. His mother’s voice. "Disgusting." She said. "Disappointing. sinful! Repulsive!" Her words got louder and louder until his head was pounding. 

Eddie's head swarmed with the thoughts of what happened to Richie when he came out. Would his mother do the same to him? Would people at school accept him? 

“No!” Eddie yelled as he pushed Richie off of him.

Richie's eyes grew wide at that and they both snapped out of their euphoria.

“Shit. Fuck. Eddie I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

Eddie felt a hole is his stomach. He didn’t want to lose Richie or what they had just shared. He wanted to tell Richie he felt the same. That he loved him. But he couldn’t have what happened to Richie happen to him. He needed his mother. He wasn’t like Richie. 

Everything started spinning and Eddie’s eyesight was going spotty. He started patting himself frantically for his inhaler until he found it and took a puff, calming him a little. 

“I can’t do this Rich.” Eddie spoke softly. 

Richie looked like his heart had been ripped out, hearing the words he always feared Eddie would say to him. He looked at Eddie for a moment, coming to terms with everything before turning around. Richie looked like a zombie. Emotionless. A shell. 

“Let’s go back now.” He said. 

“Rich I-” 

“Please Eddie. Let’s just go.” Richie said cutting him off. 

Eddie did as Richie said and started the truck to drive them back to his house. 

When they got there Richie started collecting his things in a hurry.

“Rich?! Richie?! What are you doing?” Eddie yelled as he tried to grab ahold of the quick moving boy. 

“I’m leaving.” 

“What? Why? You don’t have to go.” Eddie pleaded. 

“Yes. Yes I do.” Richie said abrasively. 

Richie opened the front door once he had all of his things. Before walking out he sighed and paused. “Listen Eddie, I’m sorry about everything. I’m not mad, I know I can’t force you to… to feel the same way. I just need some time.” 

“Rich please.” 

“I hope you still want to be friends.” Richie sighed out. 

Eddie’s heart was broken. Shattered into a million pieces, at his own hand. He didn’t want to be just friends with Richie.

“Always Rich… always.” He cried as Richie walked out and shut the door behind him. 

Eddie had been through a lot of things. Lies and deceit. Even looked death in the eye. He thought he had known sadness, and maybe he did… but not like this. This was a new kind of low. 

Eddie felt like he was being crushed under the weight of the world, folding over and holding his knees to his chest as he cried. 

Why did he have to ruin everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this Chapter was kinda short and sad. I was listening to m83 when i was writing and it just took over the whole mood.


	4. I Couldn't Be More in Love

“Seriously Eddie, you're not going to tell us what happened between you and Richie?” Stan pressed. 

Richie had Been avoiding Eddie for the past week. Him and Bev either going to the library or smoking instead of sitting with the other losers at lunch. 

Eddie wanted to talk to him and explain himself, but any time Eddie tried to catch Richie's eye or walk over to him Richie just looked away or booked it in the other direction. 

“I told you, we had a fight.” 

“That’s nothing new. You guys always fight.” Stan said, smirking. 

“It’s never been like this before.” Mike Said. 

It’s true. Even though Eddie and Richie fought all the time they usually made up within a few hours of being mad. 

“Do you k-know where he’s staying n-now?” Bill asked.

Eddie just shook his head. “I thought he would have told you guys.” 

“N-no, and he won’t tell Beverly either. She’s been t-t-trying to get it out of him.” 

“We think he might be sleeping in his car.” Ben said sadly. 

Eddie's stomach turned at that and he felt guilt pour into his face. He was determined now to make Richie talk to him. 

He came up with a plan. He walked out of their shared math class in a hurry to make it look like he wasn’t interested in waiting for Richie like he usually tried to do since the fight, but he would be waiting for him right outside the door. 

When Richie walked out and turned the corner he was as unsuspecting as Eddie had hoped and Eddie grabbed him and pulled him into the lockers. 

“Eddie? What the fuck.” 

“Stop avoiding me.” Eddie said sharply. “It’s fucking immature Richie. We have to talk about this.” 

“I’m not avoiding you Eddie. I told you I need some time.” 

“Well you’ve had it!” Eddie yelled a little louder than he meant to, turning some heads. 

Eddie lowered his voice, “You’ve had a week of time Richie. this is getting stupid.” 

Richie's eyes widened in rage. 

“Yeah. This is pretty stupid.” Richie said, pushing by him. 

Eddie followed him through the hall. “Rich. Please just tell me how to make this right.” He tried to grab the sleeve of Richie's shirt to slow him down. 

“You can’t!” Richie yelled as he stopped to turn towards Eddie, flinching from his grip. “You can’t.” 

Eddie looked up at Richie with a pained expression. He couldn’t fix this? 

“But… it’s your birthday tomorrow Richie.” Eddies eyes were wet with tears now.

There was a silence between them and Richie sighed. He never liked to see Eddie upset, even when Eddie was the cause of his hurt. 

“I’ve never missed your birthday… Since we were 8 Rich. Please don’t shut me out.” He cried softly. Becoming increasingly embarrassed by the passing eyes on him. 

Richie grabbed Eddie and pulled him into more secluded area of the hall. 

“Eddie It’s okay. Don’t cry. I told you, I’m not mad.” 

Eddie didn’t buy it. Continuing to sniff and sob as softly as he could to avoid completely embarrassing himself. 

“Okay, I'll start sitting with you guys at lunch again.” Richie huffed. 

Eddie smiled at that. It was a small victory, since it didn’t really mean anything and Richie was only doing it because he felt bad. He didn’t actually want to be around Eddie and Eddie didn’t blame him. 

“Okay.” Eddie said softly wiping his nose with his shirt sleeve. 

Richie reached up as if he was going to wipe away Eddie’s tears but stopped himself. Eddie could see Richie mentally slap himself for it. 

“Well I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow then.” Richie forced a smiled as he waved and walked off. 

Eddie could feel his heart breaking again watching him walk off into the crowd. No “bye spaghetti boy.” Or “see ya Eds.” 

It had never been like this with them. So fragile. So careful. 

He never thought he’d miss the sound of Richie calling him Eduardo or telling a bad yo mama joke, but he did. He missed it so much. He wanted his Richie back. 

Richie kept his promise and started sitting with them again at lunch the next day along with Beverly. 

Richie seemed to be doing a little better too, tussling Stan’s hair as he sat. 

“Oh great… you’re back. Just when I was starting to get used to quiet lunches.” Stan said pushing Richie’s hand off of him. 

“Aw C'mon Stan, admit it! You missed me.” Richie said with a big grin. 

Stan just rolled his eyes. “Sure Richie.” 

“S-so does this m-mean you and Eddie worked your sh-shit out? Bill asked. 

Eddie looked up at Richie who didn’t return the look. 

“We didn’t have any shit that needed working out.” Richie shrugged. 

Ben laughed. “No, really guys. What the hell happened between you two?” 

Richie started to get flustered, not knowing what to say. He finally looked over at Eddie, as if to say help. 

“what are we doing for your birthday Rich?!” Eddie blurted. It was the only thing he could think of to get them off the subject quickly. 

Richie winked at Eddie for the quick save. Eddie felt a little warm inside at that. 

The rest of the losers just groaned. 

Every year for Richie's birthday he made the losers do something crazy. Weather it be graffitiing a billboard, stealing liquor or TPing a teacher's house it always had to be dangerous and stupid. The Richie requirement.

Beverly was the only one who actually enjoyed these little adventures, the rest just prayed they would live to see another day. 

“Please say you just want to have a quiet night in.” Ben said crossing his fingers. 

Richie shrugged. “Actually, I don’t really think we need to do anything this year.” 

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at Richie in shock. 

“Are you f-feeling okay?” Bill said as he reached over and put his hand against Richie's forehead.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Richie laughed. “Just don’t really want to do anything… besides, I have other plans.” 

“What does that mean?” Eddie asked a little ruder than he meant to. 

Richie just leaned over and pinched Eddie's cheek. “So curious, aren't you Eds?” 

Eddie swatted him away. “fuck off.” But he secretly felt a smile tug at the side of his mouth hearing his nickname on Richie's lips. 

“Does this have something to do with where you’ve been staying?” Bev asked. 

Richie looked sharply at her. “Bev, I told you... Don’t worry about it.” 

“it's our job to worry Richie.” Mike says from across the table. “We worry because we love you.” 

“Well don’t. I’m fine.” 

Everyone dropped the subject. It was Richie's birthday after all. 

When the bell started ringing for the end of lunch the losers all packed up their things. 

Eddie watched as Richie hurried out, avoiding Bev now too and her burning questions. 

“Richie!” Bev called out, but he pretended not to hear her. Bev let out a loud frustrated breath. “What the fuck.” 

“Join the club.” Eddie laughed. 

Eddie finished packing up and started to head for the door when he felt a hand pull him back.

“You don’t believe a single word he’s saying either, do you?” Bev questioned. 

Eddie didn’t even have time to answer before Bev started to smile, an evil genius kind of smile and she began to shake him with excitement. 

“We should follow him. After school.” She said a little more quiet. 

“What? Are you serious?” 

“C’mon Eddie we’ve got to. What kind of best friends would we be if we didn’t check up on him?” 

Eddie didn’t want to risk Richie becoming any more angry with him but he knew Bev was right. Knowing Richie, he could be in a lot of trouble.

“Well…” 

“Great!” Bev interrupted. “We’ll follow him after school.” 

“With what car?” Eddie asked. 

“Just leave that to me Eddie my dear.” Bev said as she flashed him a sweet smile and walked off. 

It was no surprise why Richie liked her so much. Both of them were always up for anything. Never worried about risks and they found ways around everything. 

After school Eddie waited for Bev by the main exit, kids racing past him. As he stood there looking down at his watch, a familiar, very tall figure approached him. 

“Hiya Eds.”

Eddie looked up at him. “Oh hey Richie.” 

“Are you looking for Bill? Because I think I just seen him leave…” Richie said, pointing in the direction he saw Bill leave. 

“He’s not giving me a ride today.” Eddie said quickly. He started to sweat. Where the hell was Beverly? Eddie was terrible at lying. Especially to Richie. 

“Oh. Well I could give you a ride if you want.” Richie said a with an uncomfortableness that just reminded Eddie how strained their relationship was now. 

“Nope. I’m okay.” Eddie said through gritted teeth as he frantically looked all around. If Bev didn’t hurry up Eddie was going to ruin everything. 

Richie put his hands on either side of Eddie's shoulders, directing Eddie towards him to examine his face. “Eddie? Are you alright? You look like your going to be sick.”

“I...um..” Eddie started to think of a lie. 

“What are you guys doing?” Beverly said as she swung an arm around Richie forcing his arms off of a nervous Eddie. 

Bev looked up at Richie. “Eddie and I are going to the library to study together.” She lied with ease. (It was a little scary) “Wanna come?” She asked, but she wasn’t scared Richie would say yes. She knew him too well.

“To the library? I’ll pass.” Richie shook out of Bev’s arm and waved them goodbye as he pushed the door open and walked out. “Hasta luego turds.” 

Eddie let out a large sigh and leaned back into the wall as Richie disappeared. 

“Jeez Eddie you're not good at this.” Bev laughed. 

Eddie shot her a glare “please tell me you actually found us a car and we aren't stranded here...” 

Beverly reached into her jean pocket and pulled out a pair of keys. 

“I owe Tony Hubert a hand job.” 

Eddie gave her a one part shocked one part mortified look. 

“Kidding.” She said laughing. “I only had to show him my bra strap… what a sucker. Now Let’s go before Richie leaves.” 

Eddie shook his head at her and followed her out. 

They were careful to not be seen by Richie as they shuffled to their borrowed car. Luckily it was parked a safe distance from Richie’s truck. 

They jumped in and Beverly quickly started it up. 

When they saw Richie start to pull out they did the same. Following him out, but being careful not to be too obvious or get too close. 

“You really think it’s going to be worth all this?” Eddie asked as they drove. 

“Listen Eddie, I always know when people are lying, and of all the years I’ve been friends with Richie he’s never lied to me until now. Something weird is definitely going on.”

He never lied to her? Eddie wondered if Richie really told Beverly everything... he wondered if he told her about him? About what happened. 

When they followed Richie outside of town Eddie became increasingly interested and nervous. 

“Where the fuck are you going Tozier?” Bev said under her breath. 

Richie finally pulled into a parking hidden behind a string of buildings. The building that the parking lot belonged to was small but busy. There was a good amount of people there, all waiting outside in a line to get in. 

“Is this… a club?” Eddie asked. He'd never been to a club before but based on the flashing lights inside and the scary looking man at the door wearing sunglasses that’s what he assumed it was. 

“What the hell is he doing at a club?” Bev wondered out loud. 

As they parked a safe distance away from Richie they looked around at the interesting looking people. 

Two woman with short hair were holding hands in the line and caught Eddie's eye. As he watched them they suddenly leaned in and kissed each other passionately. Eddies face was now burning and it suddenly clicked. 

“Bev, is this a…” 

“I think so.” She said realizing at the same time. "A gay bar... who knew we would have one so close?" She chuckled. 

They watched Richie hop out of his car and walk up to the front of the line where the bouncer nodded at him and stepped aside to let him through.

“Woah.” Bev and Eddie both said in unison. 

“Is he even old enough to get in a place like this?” Eddie asked in awe. 

Bev laughed. “Well i'm no expert but I would say no. He must know someone inside.” 

Of Course he did. 

“Who do you think he would know here? Do you think he's seeing someone?” Eddie's thoughts started swarming aloud. 

“Woah, Eddie. I'm in the same boat as you here.” She said laughing. Obviously finding this more humorous than Eddie was. Eddie was just a ball of nervous energy at this point. Richie was moving on already and it was Eddie’s fault.

“Well, we've gotta get in there.” Beverly said, unbuckling. 

“What?! Go in?!” Eddie shouted. 

“Yeah.” Bev said as if it were obvious. “We have to if we want to know what's going on."

Eddie wasn't sure he wanted to know anymore. 

“Just follow my lead.” Bev said as she jumped out.

Eddie followed against his better judgment. 

Immediately he saw Bev adjust her shirt so it laid a little lower on her chest, exposing more of her skin. She then trotted over to the bouncer at the entrance and turned on the Beverly Marsh charm.

Eddie rolled his eyes at that but to his surprise the bouncer took the bate and completely melted into Beverly's advances. 

Eddie then saw Beverly look at him and gestured for him to try to slip past while the bouncer had his back turned. 

It worked, as Beverly flirted away, Eddie snuck by and booked it inside. 

As he stood inside, sweaty, drunk people pushed by him and the music was deafeningly loud. Eddie stuck out like a sore thumb in a place like this. He hoped Beverly would be able to flirt her way inside, because he didn't want to be in there alone.

It took a while, but Beverly finally emerged from the door. Exhausted from stroking that man's ego enough to get her in. 

Eddie opened his mouth to give Beverly hell about prostituting herself but she wasn't having it, putting her hand up to silence him.

“Don't start Eddie. We can talk about how I should respect myself more after we find Richie.” She said as she pulled her shirt back up to a comfortable spot and pushed through the crowd. 

When they finally spotted Richie he was sitting on one of the bar stools and there was a man standing next to him laughing at something he was saying. The man looked like he was in his late 20's and was very pretty, with short curly blonde hair and a fancy suit on. Eddie stopped walking when he saw the man's hand fall to Richie’s thigh. 

Fuck. 

Richie probably didn’t want Eddie there. He was going to be mad at him. 

Eddie started backing up, now really regretting his decision to come. He could feel the burn of jealousy as he watched the man shamelessly flirt with Richie. (Who was way too old for him btw) and squeezed his leg. He knew he had no right to be upset, but the anger he felt seeing anyone else touch Richie or laugh at his dumb jokes was overwhelming. 

Eddie found himself backing up into the wall. He decided he would just wait there until Bev was done talking to Richie.

“Hey asshole!” Bev yelled as she approached Richie. 

Richie shot up from his seat in shock, forcing the man's hand off of him. 

“Bev?! What the fuck?! How’d you find me?!” 

“Eddie and I followed you. We wanted to know what’s been going on with you.” Bev answered nonchalantly as if their actions didn’t border on stalking. 

Richie felt himself becoming increasingly angry at the total lack of privacy when he went back to Eddie’s name. 

“Woah, wait. Eddie is here?” He asked, surprised and a little intrigued. 

“Yeah.” Bev said turning around to see where Eddie had gone. “He’s right there.” She said pointing at him when she spotted him against the wall. 

Richie glanced over but saw something that made his skin crawl and his face hot. 

Some stupid frat looking boy was talking Eddie up and was obviously trying to make a pass at him. 

Richie expected Eddie to look uncomfortable in a situation like that but he seemed to be returning the flirtatious smiles, looking at Richie in between laughs. Knowing Richie's eyes were on him. 

Was Eddie trying to hurt him? 

When stupid frat boy put his hand on Eddie’s waist that was it for Richie and he stomped over. 

"Richie?" Bev said confused as he pushed passed her. 

Eddie’s eyes grew wide as he saw Richie approaching, eyes dark and menacing. 

Richie put a hand on the boys shoulder and spun him around harshly. 

“The fuck are you doing with him?” He asked in a voice Eddie didn’t recognize. 

“And who the fuck are you, four-eyes?” 

“I’m his…” Richie paused for a moment. “His best fucking friend. Who the fuck are you asshole?” 

“The guy who’s taking him home tonight.” The boy said smugly. 

Eddie’s eyes grew wide at that and he had a nervous look on his face. Going home with the boy obviously never his intention. 

Richie lost his shit at that, swinging his fist back and punching the boy in the face. 

“Don’t ever fucking touch him again!” Richie shouted 

The boy stood up holding his nose for a moment before anger shot through his eyes and he hit Richie back, knocking him on the floor. 

“Richie!” Eddie shouted as he fell to the ground beside him.

“Ah… fuck.” Richie moaned in pain. 

The man who had been talking to Richie earlier ran over in a hurry, breaking everything up before it could get any worse. He quickly called one of the bouncers over to escort stupid frat boy out and Richie made sure to blow him a kiss as he left.

Richie stood up with help from Bev and Eddie and the man from earlier came over and smacked Richie on the back of the head. 

“Owe, fuck Joey.” Richie said rubbing his head. 

“All the shit I’m doing for you kid, and your gunna start a fight in my bar?” The man, now identified as Joey asked. 

“I’m sorry Joe, it won’t happen again.” Richie said, head hung low. 

Joey sighed. “It’s alright.” Joey paused looking at Bev and Eddie on either side of Richie. “Are you going to introduce me to your friends?”

Richie looked a little apprehensive but obliged to his request. 

“These are my best friends Bev and Eddie.” He started. “Eddie, Bev, this is my… um… boss… Joey.”

Richie spoke as if he didn’t know exactly what to call him. 

“Well that’s one way to put it! I’m basically this kid’s fairy god faggot.” Joey laughed. “Found him trying to break In one night about a week ago and was going to call the cops but he explained himself and his situation… it reminded me a lot of what I went through so I offered him a job to get him on his feet.”

“Wow.” Bev said, warily. “A job here? It’s kind of far from Derry.” 

“No, not a job here.” Richie said. “It’s something else I’d be helping him with.” 

Eddie gave Richie a weird look at that and his head began to spin with lots of horrible guesses as to what that could be.

“Yup, he is going to be doing some outside work for me. I already paid him in advance and I think the boys got himself a little place already.” Joey said patting Richie on the back. 

“Richie?! You have your own place?!” Bev yelled, both excited and offended that he hadn’t told her. 

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to say anything yet.” Richie said looking at Joey a little annoyed. 

“Well you guys should be going soon.” Joey said noticing Richie's displeasure in the conversation. “It’s bad enough I let this youngin in.” He said gesturing at Richie. “Cant have three of you in here if I want to keep my business running.” 

“Okay Joe, I Get it. I’ll see you later.” Richie said grabbing Eddie and Bev's arms and leading them to the door. 

As they walked out into the parking lot Richie huffed angrily with every step. 

“So, What the fuck? You guys just follow me now?” 

“Yes!” Bev yelled unapologetically. “And it's a good thing too because that Joey guy is SHADY!” 

“What?!” Richie yelled in offense. 

“You heard me Tozier.” Bev snapped back. “No one just helps strangers for no reason and gives them a weird outside job that miraculously pays for everything.” 

“He’s cool!” Richie defended. “He understands what I’m going through and is just suggesting I do the same thing he had to do to survive.” 

“And what’s that?” Bev seethed as Richie grew more and more uncomfortable. “Just say it Rich… we all know you aren't helping him sell jelly beans.” 

“Drugs, Okay?! I’m selling drugs.” Richie huffed out. “Happy?” 

Bev just shook her head and Eddie had a look of shock on his face. 

Richie Tozier… a drug dealer?

“You guys can’t judge me… you can’t possibly know what it feels like to be all alone.” 

Eddie couldn't help himself from walking over to Richie and putting a hand on his arm. “I told you, You’re not alone.” 

Richie pulled his arm away harshly. “And you.” Richie said pointing at Eddie accusingly. “What the fuck was that in there? Huh? Were you just trying to hurt me?” 

Eddie's heart fell as he remembered the fight that had broken out because of him. Truth be told when the boy began to flirt with him, Eddie obviously wasn’t interested and a little disgusted, but seeing Richie watching him and getting angry, it made Eddie want to fake flirt back just for the thrill of seeing Richie's possessive, jealous eyes on him.

“Rich… no. I wasn’t.” Eddie said softly, almost trying to convince himself of his pure intentions too. 

“Sure.” Richie laughed. “Fuck you.” 

Bev gasped “Hey! Don’t talk to him like that Richie.” 

Richie through his arms up in frustration and started walking to his truck. 

“Richie you can’t drive! You’ve obviously been drinking!” Bev called out to him.

“No I haven’t!” Richie yelled back as he fumbled around with his keys. 

Bev and Eddie looked at each other for a minute, seeming to have a conversation with their eyes and Eddie sighed in agreeance, starting to walk towards Richie. 

“Richie, hey I’m going to drive.” 

“No way.” Richie said. “Eddie, I’m fine.” 

Eddie didn’t take Richie’s no as an answer and quickly swiped the keys from his hand. 

Richie let out an annoyed huff but walked around to the passenger seat and got in. 

Eddie started the truck up and the Pixies Where is my mind started blasted from the speakers, startling Eddie. He quickly turned the volume down “Jesus Rich, you're going to go deaf.” 

Richie didn't say anything. He just propped his cheek on his fist and looked out the window. 

“So where is your apartment Rich?” Eddie asked. 

“A few minutes outside of Derry. I'll tell you where to go.” 

“Okay.” Eddie said as he began to pull out, watching Bev drive off a little before them. 

The Ride was quiet mostly but Eddie’s head was loud, spinning with all the new information. So many questions.

“So,” Eddie started. “Is Joey Like your boyfriend?” 

Richie jolted up from his position, a little taken aback by the question. 

“Joey and I? No way!” he laughed.

“Oh.” Eddie said softly, trying to hide his relief.

“I told you, He's just helping me out.” Richie insisted. “Why would you think we're dating?”

“He looked pretty handsy earlier.” Eddie said a little annoyed. 

Richie raised an eyebrow. “Why do you care? You seemed pretty cozy with that guy over in the corner.” 

Eddie Rolled his eyes.

“So you do like guys, just not me?” Richie said, frustrated. 

“No!” Eddie yelled. “I wouldn't have flirted with that guy if Joey’s hands weren't all over you!”

Richie turned towards him in confusion. “Well it could've been your hands if you hadn't rejected me!” 

Eddie stayed quiet for a minute. Not quite knowing how to answer that. 

“I was scared.” He finally said. 

“Of what? Of me?” Richie asked. 

“No, not of you… Of what would happen to me if… if I admit that i'm in love with you.”

Richie's breathing seemed to stop for a minute and his eyes widened, looking ridiculously big through his glasses. 

“Wait, what did you just say?” Richie asked as if he had just heard him wrong. 

Eddie then pulled into the nearest convenience store parking lot and parked in the back. 

They were quiet for a moment while Eddie gathered his thoughts and slowed his breathing down before he gave himself a panic attack. 

“Richie I said i'm in love with you.” Eddie finally said again but couldn't bring himself to look at Richie. 

Eddie started to get nervous when Richie didn't say anything for a while but then he suddenly felt Richie’s large hands on his cheeks, directing his face towards him. 

Richie brought their faces close together. A shiver ran through Eddie’s body as he felt Richie’s breath on him. 

Richie took a minute to just look at Eddie, making him blush under his gaze.

“You're so cute.” Richie finally said. 

Eddie scrunched up his nose, annoyed by Richie calling him cute, especially right now.

“I..” Richie started but was cut off when Eddie pushed forward making their lips crash together. 

Eddie was tired of pretending. He wanted to feel Richie, to be close to him in ways other people weren't. He wouldn't be able to handle it if someone else knew Richie in that way. Knew his body in ways Eddie didn't. That much became clear to him when he saw Joey touching him. 

Eddie started to feel under Richie’s shirt as they kissed. Letting his hands float over his taut stomach and the curve of his hips peeking out from the top of his boxers. 

Richie's breath hitched and he shuddered as he felt Eddie’s hands on him, making Eddie smirk. He liked feeling like this with Richie. So in control. In Control of how Richie felt. To make him feel good. 

Eddie couldn't help but climb over and straddle Richie in the passenger seat. 

“Fuck, eds.” Richie breathed out as Eddie pushed his hips down.

Eddie wasn't really sure what had gotten into him. He'd never felt like this, so full of want and need and he loved feeling how much Richie wanted him too.

Richie suddenly pulled away making Eddie whimper and chase his lips. “Wait, Eddie.” Richie said as he tried to catch his breath. “I'm in love with you too.” 

Eddie smiled wider than he ever had before. 

There was a small voice inside telling him to freak out. To run, but it was silenced when Eddie looked down at Richie. His lips swollen from kissing, and cheeks Rosy. It was the most beautiful thing Eddie had ever seen. He wasn't going to let his fear ruin this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't edit this chapter as much as usual so sorry for any typos! Enjoy!


	5. Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You

The next couple weeks Richie and Eddie were inseparable. Now more than ever. 

Eddie spent most of his days at Richie’s place after school - telling his mom he was going to Bill’s to study. They decided not to tell the other losers about what was going on just yet though, not wanting to fuck up the group dynamic. Although, nothing too drastic really changed with them. They still bickered and yelled at each other, but now threw in the occasional "babe" and made out. a lot. 

Richie having his own place was still really weird for Eddie. He was still so reliant on his mother and couldn't possibly imagine doing everything by himself. Although, Richie had been taking care of himself for a long time so this wasn't a new thing for him. Still, It was Richie and he didn't always know what was best for him. 

“Next time you go shopping you should really get something green.” Eddie said as he went though Richie’s fridge. 

“Did you not see the cookies with green frosting I got?” Richie said from the couch.

“Not what I meant Rich.” Eddie said, turning around with his hands on his hips. He walked over and kissed Richie on the forehead. “I’m worried you aren't taking care of yourself.” 

“Eddie, Baby. Trust me. I’m taking care of myself just fine… I mean, you don’t get a body like this from doing nothing.” Richie said wiggling his eyebrows. 

Eddie rolled his eyes and pushed him a little. “Not just with eating right Richie… are you sure you aren't getting yourself into any bad habits?” 

Richie let his head fall back in frustration. He knew where this conversation was going. “Eddie, how many times do I have to tell you? I’m just selling it. Not doing it.” 

This had been an ongoing fight ever since they got together. 

Eddie obviously didn’t approve of Richie selling drugs. Heroin and cocaine no less, but Richie insisted he had to to keep a roof over his head. He promised he wouldn’t touch anything he ever sold, seeing up close the price of using. 

Eddie wasn’t convinced though. Always checking around Richie’s apartment for any sign of Richie indulging in his own supply when he wasn’t looking. 

Richie already had addiction in his veins stemming from his mother’s drinking and drug problem... not to mention his addiction to nicotine. So this wasn’t exactly outside the realm of possibility… Eddie isn't just being neurotic, okay? Okay?! 

“Have a little faith in me Eds… I’m not completely stupid.” Richie said. 

“I know you aren’t stupid Richie, I just worry.” 

Richie looked at Eddie and smiled, patting his leg, gesturing for him to sit on his lap. Which Eddie did happily. 

Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie and squeezed. “I’m glad you care but don’t worry so much about me. It makes me feel bad.” 

“I just hope you don’t have to do this for much longer and you can find a different job.” Eddie said as he nuzzled into Richie’s chest. 

“Me too… hey Eds?" 

Eddie lifted his head to look at Richie. "hmm?" 

"Can I kiss you?" 

Eddie smiled at that and nodded as Richie put his large hand on his cheek and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. 

Eddie had told Richie about all of his fears going into the relationship and warned him that they would have to take it slow, but Richie happily obliged. He didn't care as long as Eddie was his. 

Eddie was so grateful to have someone who was so aware of him and always made sure he felt comfortable and loved. He never wanted to lose Richie. 

A few days later, Eddie’s fears came true. 

On Saturday, he had Bill drive him to Richie’s and cover for him. He had talked to Richie on the phone before he left and Richie told him that he had a couple people he had to see but that he would be back in a couple hours and Eddie could wait at the apartment. 

By hour four Eddie was really starting to freak out. 

“No, Bev. You don’t understand, he said a couple hours… it’s been FOUR.” Eddie yelled through Richie’s phone at Beverly. 

“Eddie you need to calm down, okay?” 

Eddie tried but he was completely falling apart, thinking of all the horrible things that might’ve happened. He just got Richie. He couldn't lose him now.

“I have a bad feeling Bev. He knows I get nervous when he’s gone selling longer than he says… he’s never been gone this long.”

“Okay, Eddie take a breath, we will find him.” Bev said, trying to use a soothing voice but also freaking out a little too. “I’ll call Bill and we will be over in a minute to go look for him.” 

“Okay, Alright.” Eddie said, shaking. 

Eddie waited about 40 minutes before Bev and Bill were pulling up and Eddie stood up from the apartment stairs and jumped in. 

“So do you have any idea where he would be?” Bev asked turning around in the passenger seat to look at Eddie. 

Eddie just shook his head, now completely in tears. 

Bev put her hand on his leg. “Hey, don’t worry… I’m sure he’s fine.” But her eyes said differently. 

Eddie took a deep breath in. “He said he had a lot of customers in Lewiston.” 

“Okay well we’ll s-start there th-then.” Bill said with a faux smile, trying to comfort Eddie. 

They drove about 25 minutes to Lewiston and started driving slowly through the areas with bars and anywhere that looked generally sketchy… sketchy enough for the occasional drug deal to take place.

They looked for about an hour, scouring alleyways and walking into bars, asking people if they had seen him. 

It started to seem hopeless. Eddie felt as though his heart had been sucked into the black hole of his stomach. He was crying a lot now, unable to stop even when they were in public.

Bev didn’t seem to be too far behind Eddie, her eyes wet with tears as she began screaming at the incompetent drunks she was trying to get information from. 

“Listen you fucking idiots, my best friend is missing! All I need from you is a yes or no… have you seen him?!” 

The two men just looked at the picture she held and laughed. “We’re more interested in you doll face.” One of them slurred out. 

Bev looked like she was ready to slap him when Bill came over and pulled her away. 

“Bev, they aren't w-worth it.” He said. 

Bev wiped her eyes and began to let the tears fall fully as she turned to hug Bill. 

“What if Eddie’s right Bill? What if Richie isn’t okay?” She sniffed into his chest as he patted the back of her head. 

Eddie was talking to one of the waitresses there, asking if she’d seen Richie and showing her the picture he had of him. 

“Oh yeah, he was here a bit ago.” She said. 

“Really?!” Eddie yelled. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t forget him. Had to kick him and a couple other guys out for fighting about three hours ago.” She said. 

“Thank you. Thank you!” Eddie said, holding back from hugging the poor woman. 

He ran over to Bev and Bill who were still hugging sorrowfully. 

“Guys!” Eddie yelled. “Richie was here! The waitress just said she seen him earlier.” 

“Really?!” Bev yelled back, wiping her tears. 

“H-how long a-ago?” Bill asked. 

“She said about three hours ago.”

“Well let’s get b-back to the v-van then.” Bill said as he started to walk out. 

It wasn't much to go on, but it gave them some hope. 

As they drove Eddie looked out the window for any sign of Richie. 

All of a sudden, as they drove past a small alleyway Eddie saw a figure on the ground. It was brief, but he could see light dance off of something that looked like a pair of glasses. 

“Stop!” Eddie yelled. 

Bill did and Eddie opened the door and stumbled out quickly. As he ran towards the figure it became more clear. 

“Richie!” Eddie screamed in horror as he saw the state of him. 

Richie was laying on the wet cement covered in bruises and his own blood. His bag that was usually full of his supply was laying beside him, empty. 

“Richie?! Richie?!” Eddie yelled as he tried to get Richie to open his eyes. 

He quickly put his head to Richie’s chest to hear for a heartbeat. He was alive, but his breathing was shallow and he wasn’t responding. 

Bev and Bill quickly ran up beside Eddie. 

Bev screamed when she saw Richie and fell down beside him and Eddie. “Richie!” She yelled. When he didn’t respond Bev looked at Eddie. “Is he?” She started. 

“No.” Eddie said, tears falling down his cheeks. “But he’s really hurt and might be in a coma. We need to get him to a hospital right now!” 

They all grabbed Richie and carefully brought him to the van. As they set him inside he started to mumble. 

Eddie immediately put his hands on Richie's cheeks. “Richie? Hey, you're Okay.” 

Richie started to come to. “E-Eddie?” He mumbled brokenly. 

“Yes! Yes, it’s me Rich! I’m right here.” Eddie said as he brushed some of Richie’s curls out of his face. 

Bill started to drive quickly.

Eddie soon noticed that Bill passed the hospital. 

“Bill, What the fuck?! We have to take Richie to the hospital!” 

Bev looked at Bill and then turned to Eddie. 

“Eddie, Listen… If we take Richie to the hospital they are going to find out that he was selling drugs and he’ll go to prison. 

Eddie’s world suddenly started spinning. He hadn’t thought about that. 

“He’s not in a coma.” Bev said. “And you are the best doctor we know… I’m sure you can fix him up… just like how you fixed Ben up back in the day.” 

“That was a fucking scratch compared to this!” Eddie yelled, starting to really freak the fuck out, and pulling on his hair. 

Richie then shot up and looked around, confused. Causing them all to gasp and freeze. 

Richie grabbed his head. “Fuck.” 

“Richie?” Eddie said softly. 

Richie slowly turned to him. “Eddie?” His eyes grew wide as he started looking around and realizing where he was and what happened. “Eddie, I got jumped. They took everything!” Richie stopped talking and reached down to hold his stomach in pain. He lifted his shirt and revealed dark purple bruises covering his stomach and ribs.

“They kicked the shit out of me and left me.” Richie said, now starting to be overwhelmed by the experience. “I thought I was dead Eddie… I thought... ” he started to cry. 

Eddie reached for him, carefully leading Richie’s head into the crook of his neck. 

“It’s okay baby.” Eddie said as he rubbed his fingers through Richie's curls gently and cried with him. “I’m here.” 

Eddie couldn't hold back his affection, even with Bill and Bev there. He was pretty sure Richie told Bev anyways and Bill didn’t seem to question it.

Bill and Bev were crying too now. Overwhelmed with relief and sadness. Bev wanted so badly to yell at Richie and tell him I told you so, but she held back, knowing that it just wasn't the time. 

“Do you n-need us to stay with you g-guys?” Bill asked when he dropped them off at Richie’s apartment. 

“No, it’s okay. I think I got this.” Eddie said as he helped Richie out of the van carefully. 

“Red.” Richie mumbled suddenly. 

“What Rich?” Eddie questioned.

“My truck. I left her.” 

“I’ll c-come by tomorrow to ch-check on Richie and w-well go get Red.” Bill said. 

Richie seemed content with that and rested his cheek on the top of Eddie's head as Eddie wrapped his arm around Richie's waist to support him. 

“Thanks Bill.” Eddie said. 

Eddie did his best to help Richie up the stairs and into the apartment. He brought him to the bed and gently laid him down.

“Stay here. I’m going to go get the first aid kit.” 

“I don’t have one Eddie.” Richie said weakly. 

“Yes you do. I bought one for you.” Eddie said as he left the room. 

Richie smiled at that. “I love you.” He whispered very softly as he closed his tired eyes.

It was quiet, but Eddie heard him. 

Eddie came back with the kit and forced Richie to sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. 

“Take off your shirt.” Eddie said. 

Richie looked up at him cheekily. “Anything for you sweetie.” 

Richie started to take off his shirt and winced in pain as he did. His muscles and bones aching. 

Eddie couldn’t help but tear up as he saw how bad Richie looked. (Not that he could ever look bad bad) 

“Pretty bad huh?” Richie breathed out. 

Eddie didn’t say anything but reached out to gently rub at Richie’s tender skin. 

“How dare someone fucking do this to you.” Eddie seethed through his tears. "Ill kill them Rich."

Richie put a hand on his cheek. “Hey, you saved me… again.” He went in for a soft kiss but was met with a wet cotton swab on his lip. 

“Uh Rich… you have blood on your lip.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry… does that not turn you on?” Richie said wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Don’t be an idiot. You being hurt would never turn me on.” 

Richie sighed. “That’s a shame. I kind of have a kink for pain.” He winked. 

Eddie threw his arms up in disbelief. “How can you be making jokes about this?! You could have died Rich!” Eddie yelled. 

“You don’t think I know that?!” Richie yelled back. “It’s hard to forget when my whole body is fucking killing me.” 

Eddie sighed and began getting to work. He started by looking over Richie’s stomach and rib area. He pressed a fingers into his side, working to feel the damage.” 

“Owe, Fuck Eds.” Richie groaned out. 

“Well it doesn't feel like any of your ribs are broken so that's good but they will probably be bruised. You're lucky.” Eddie said sharply. 

Richie could tell Eddie’s worry was passing over into anger. He couldn't really blame him. He promised him he would be safe and obviously he didn't keep his word. 

Richie reached out to rub Eddie’s cheek. “My little doctor.” He smiled sweetly, trying to get out of the dog house. 

Eddie just pulled away from Richie’s hand. “Stand up.” 

Richie did as he was told, wincing in pain as he stood. 

Eddie stepped back to examine him and then directed him to move in all sorts of crazy ways and rate his pain level. 

“Eddie I feel stupid.” Richie said as he was contorted in an inhumanly stance. “What the dick is this supposed to be doing?” 

“To see if you have any internal damage. You don't seem to be in any serious pain and you can stand without passing out so that's a good sign… plus I like making you go into these weird positions. You're like a human noodle.” Eddie almost smiled. 

Richie smiled and then un-noodled himself to stand up straight. “Ill get into any position you ask me to Eds.” he said smugly as he stepped closer to Eddie.

Eddie blushed and rolled his eyes, pushing on Richie’s chest lightly, directing him to sit back down on the bed.

Eddie walked closer to Richie, looking a little nervous. 

“What's wrong Eds?” Richie asked, noticing Eddie’s discomfort. 

“I need you to uh… take your pants off Rich.” 

Richie just stared at Eddie as a huge smile lit up his face. 

“Just to bandage any open wounds on your legs Richie!” Eddie yelled, knowing where Richie’s mind was going. “The rest is up to you.” 

Richie laughed at that. “Don't you worry Eds… little Richard is just fine.” 

Eddie became very flustered at that. “Ew! Richie! I wasn't worried! Why would I be?! I..” Eddie stopped talking and swallowed hard when Richie began undoing his belt. 

Richie made sure to make eye contact with Eddie and was making a hot face… or was that just his face?! Eddie couldn't tell. Eddie stayed stiff, looking uncomfortable as ever as Richie undid his pants next and pulled them off, leaving him in just his boxers. 

It wasn't anything Eddie had never seen before, but now that they were together it felt different. He was allowed to look. Richie was his now, he wanted to look too but his awkwardness made it impossible. 

Richie sat back down on the bed and Eddie took a breathe to calm his nerves before he bent down in front of him with the first aid kit. He noticed that Richie started to blush at that and it made him feel good to know that he had just as much power over Richie as Richie did over him. 

Eddie focused his attention to Richie’s long, skinny legs in front of him. They were covered in gashes and bruises. Eddie began cleaning the marks up gently.

He noticed Richie squirming above him and making soft noises. 

“Why are you moving around so much?” Eddie asked as he looked up. 

All the blood flooded to his cheeks when he saw what was making Richie so jittery. He was met face to face with an impressively sized tent in Richie’s boxers. 

Eddie felt his own dick twitch with intrigue. 

“Richie does this… am I turning you on?” Eddie asked softly. 

Richie looked embarrassed, refusing to look Eddie in the eye. “Well, yeah.” 

Eddie knew Richie must be attracted to him, He joked about it enough. Seeing it here and now was different. It was exciting to know he had this effect on Richie… it was hot. 

“I'm so sorry Eddie, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Richie started to stand. “I'll go take care of it.” 

Eddie stood too and pushed Richie back down on the bed. 

“Eds?”

Eddie wrapped his legs around Richie, straddling him and pushed their lips together sloppily.

Richie let out a pained noise as Eddie pressed his weight down. “Are you okay?” Eddie asked, kind of forgetting about how hurt Richie was. 

“I'm fine Eds.” Richie assured him. 

Eddie started to bite and kiss into Richie’s jawline and neck gently and was making little noises as he continued to grind down against Richie. Richie was getting close to unloading right there. 

“Eddie, what are you doing to me? If you don’t stop i'm going to cum.” Richie said breathlessly. 

Eddie laughed coyly. “That's the point.” He spoke with half lidded eyes and rosy cheeks. 

Richie just looked at him in awe. “I love you.” He said 

Eddie smiled and started to wiggle his hips again, making Richie start to lose it below him, it was a beautiful sight for Eddie to see him like that. He was growing harder too, as their erections rubbed together. Eddie couldn't believe how much better this feeling was with someone else, with Richie. 

“Can I touch you?” Richie asked between frenzied kisses. 

“Yes, Rich.” Eddie breathed. “Touch me.” 

Richie reached down and manhandled Eddie’s ass and Eddie let out a little moan. 

“Oh, Eddie. fuck .”

Richie squeezed and toyed with him. 

“I love your ass Eds. So perfect.” Richie breathed.

“Oh Chee!.” Eddie moaned as he started to grind faster. 

Richie smacked his hand down over Eddies right ass cheek making Eddie squeak in surprise. 

"So good for me baby." Richie breathed. "So good." 

Eddie could feel the heat in his stomach grow and his body started to tingle with pleasure at Richie's words. the feeling finally pooled over and Eddie became like putty, going limp in Richie's arms. 

"Richie! Oh! Richie!" Eddie began to shake as his orgasm passed through him. 

Seeing Eddie like that made Richie cum in his boxers shortly after. "fuck! Eddie!" 

They spent a moment just breathing together and coming down from their high. 

"damn." Richie finally said.

All of a sudden Eddie started to sniff and tears rolled down his face. 

"Whoa, Eddie? whats wrong?! did I hurt you?!" Richie began to freak out, thinking he may have severely misunderstood the situation. 

Eddie shook his head. "No you didn't hurt me... not yet." 

"What?" Richie asked, confused. 

Eddie leaned his face into Richie's chest. "I cant lose you Rich, tonight I though you were dead." 

Richie sighed as he realized what was upsetting Eddie and rubbed the back of his head lovingly. "I'm not dead Eds, i'm fine."

Eddie picked his head up to look at Richie. "You've gotta stop dealing. I cant be worried about weather or not you are going to live another day or if someone is going to dump your body into the quarry because you didn't give them their fucking drugs! I'm going to go bald, is that what you want? To date a stressed out prematurely bald boy?!"

Richie laughed and kissed Eddie's nose. "I would date you no matter how bald and stressed you get."

Eddie sighed and started to rub his hands up Richie's bare sides. "We've been through so much Rich, I'm not going to lose you because of this. Just please for me, stop."

Richie sighed too. "Its not that simple Eddie, but ill talk to Joey."

Eddie smiled warily. "good."


	6. If I Believe You

Richie shot awake at the sound of his phone ringing from the kitchen. He looked over at Eddie curled up in his blankets beside him and smiled. 

Eddie tossed a little at the sound of the phone. 

“Richie.” He grumbled. “Get the damn phone.” 

Richie smiled at Eddie's adorable grumpy sleepy state and the way he said his name in said state. 

“I’m sore Eds. Give me a second.” Richie laughed as he carefully got up. 

Richie walked to the kitchen rubbing his tired eyes and looked at the clock. “Who the fuck is calling at 5:00 in the morning?” He mumbled to himself. 

“Hello?” He said as he picked up the phone. 

“Richie?” A small voice said on the other end. 

“Yeah? Who’s this?”

“Richie it’s Bev.”

Richie didn’t even recognize his best friends voice. She sounded so quiet. Unlike her normal boisterous self. 

“Bev? What’s going on?” Richie asked, now worried. 

“It’s my dad…” Bev started. 

“What?! What the fuck did he do to you?! I’ll kill him!” 

Bev laughed kind of sadly. “Well, you can’t really kill someone who’s dead.” 

Richie paused for a moment. “What? Your dad is… dead? What happened?” 

“Heart attack.” Bev said matter of factly. It was hard to read how she felt about it. “The police and medics are here now… I just wanted to call you before my aunt gets here.” 

“Your aunt?” 

“Yeah. My Aunt Molly. I’m going to be staying with her.” 

“Well that’s good right?” Richie asked carefully. 

Richie could almost hear Bev smiling sadly into the phone. “Yeah. Yeah. I think I’m just in shock.” 

“Does this mean you're leaving Derry?” Richie asked, trying not to sound too sad as to not upset her anymore. 

“No, Aunt Molly lives here in Derry. Dad just never let me see her.” 

Richie sighed in relief. It may have been selfish but he was happy his best friend wasn’t getting out of this shit town and leaving him behind. 

There was a comfortable silence between them for a moment. 

“Bev?” 

“Yeah Rich?” 

“Are you going to be okay?” 

Bev laughed. “It’s weird but yeah. I’m going to be okay. I have a feeling that things are going to get better. Can you and Eddie come over tomorrow and help me move my things?” 

Richie sighed. “I guess… but I gotta get to Joey’s bar tomorrow so I can talk to him about everything that happened.” 

Richie could hear Bev smack herself on the head. “Shit. I was so caught up in everything I forgot to ask you how you’re doing?” 

Richie laughed. “I'm fine. Eddie patched me all up. Now I just have to find a way to tell Joey I don’t want to deal anymore on top of telling him that I lost him a pinch of money when I got jumped…” 

“well good luck with that." Bev said tauntingly. 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“Just be here in the morning. I need my gays to help me decide how to set up my new room.”

“Alright. Alright.” Richie laughed. “But I think that’s more Eddie’s area of expertise… I’ll just be the muscle.” 

Bev laughed a little harder than she meant to. “Sure Rich.” 

And with that they said goodnight and Richie stumbled back to his room to snuggle back in with Eddie who immediately wrapped his arms around him. 

“Who was it?” Eddie asked half asleep. 

“Bevvie… her dad died.” 

Eddie suddenly sprung up. “What?!” He yelled. “How did he die?! Where is she going to go?! Is she okay?! 

“Eddie… she’s fine. Calm down.” Richie said rubbing Eddie’s arm. “She’s better than fine. That asshole won’t be around to hurt her anymore.” 

“Rich.” Eddie said frowning. “It’s still her dad.” 

Richie huffed. “Yeah well some people are better off without their dads!” 

Eddie kissed Richie's temple before he could get any more riled up about the subject. “I know. How is she though?” 

“She’s fine. She’s going to stay with her aunt who lives in Derry.” 

Eddie let out a sigh. “That’s good. I’m glad she doesn’t have to go anywhere… Then I’d have to talk you out of bad things all by myself.” 

Richie laughed. “Oh Eds… you know Bev is always the one doing those bad things with me. Stan is the one always helping you talk me out of things.” Richie thought for a moment. “Or roasting me until I feel too stupid to do it.” 

“Yeah you're right. I’m still glad she’s staying in Derry.” Eddie said as he laid back down against Richie’s chest carefully.

“I told her we’d help her move her stuff tomorrow.”

Eddie lifted his head to look at Richie. “But Rich, we have to go talk to Joey tomorrow.” 

“We will do that after.” Richie assured him. 

Eddie laid his head back down. “Fine. As long as we do it tomorrow… I’m not having you do this shit for one more day.” 

He wrapped himself around Richie and they fell asleep. 

In the morning Bill came over to check on Richie and drove them to get red just like he’d said he would. Bill was the most thoughtful friend. 

When Bill dropped them off at Richie’s truck they asked if he wanted to come help move Bev’s stuff with them but he said he’d promised Stan he would help him with his Homework. So they parted ways and Richie and Eddie quickly drove over to Bev's where they found her already coming out of the apartment building with boxes. 

She waved them down as they parked and hopped out. 

“Okay, move aside everyone.” Richie said cracking his knuckles. “The big strong - heavy lifting man has arrived.” 

Bev covered her mouth to not let her laughter escape and taint Richie's ginormous ego. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at Richie and walked towards Beverly as she threw the box she was holding in the back of a van. “Hey Bev. What do you want us to help with first?” 

Bev dusted her hands off. “Well my aunt and I have pretty much packed most everything up. I think I only have a couple boxes left in my room if you want to grab those.” 

“But of course madam!” Richie yelled sprinting into the building. 

Eddie just shook his head and walked after him. 

Before Eddie could even get to the open door of their old apartment Richie was walking out with 3 boxes in his shaking arms. 

“Rich were those the last boxes?” 

“Yup. No need to go in I got them all.” Richie grunted out. 

“Well let me take one. You shouldn't be pushing yourself… You’re going to strain yourself.” 

Richie turned out of Eddie's reach. “No Eddie. I got this.” He wheezed. 

Eddie watched warily as Richie stumbled down the hall. 

“Well he’s something, isn’t he?” A friendly voice said from beside Eddie. 

Eddie turned to see a woman with red brown hair warn in a bun on top of her head and a pair of very warm brown eyes looking down at him.. She looked a lot like Bev. In fact Eddie was sure this is what Bev's mother had to of looked like. 

“I’m assuming by the looks of it that was the famous Richie… and that must mean you’re Eddie!” She grinned, holding out a hand.

Eddie took her hand, smiling politely back. “Yes ma’am Eddie Kaspbrak.” 

“Well, it's great to meet you sweetie. I’m Molly. Beverly's aunt."

Eddie felt so relived and happy for Bev as he shook her aunts gentle hand. Someone to finally give Bev the love she deserved.

“Eddie Cmon!” Richie called from down the hall. 

Eddie and Bev’s aunt walked out to see Richie placing the boxes in the back of the van and immediately falling down into the grass in exhaustion after. 

“See… I’m an unstoppable force.” Richie said between breaths. 

“You sure are.” Bev laughed. 

Bev’s aunt reached a hand down towards Richie. “It’s wonderful to meet you Richie! You’re just as... colorful as my niece said.” 

Richie took her hand and shook it, standing up. “Well thank you. It’s nice to meet you too.” 

“I’m so happy Beverley has a couple of good friends like you.”

Eddie and Richie both beamed at that. 

After all the introductions were in order Richie and Eddie hopped back in Richie's truck and followed Bev's aunt to her house. They were shocked when they turned into a private road and drove all the way to the back and stopped in front of what had to be the biggest and most beautiful house in all of Derry. 

"Whoa." They said in unison. 

"This is Beverly's aunt's house?! She must be loaded!" 

"Richie!" Eddie scolded. "Don't say any of that stuff when we go inside. Its rude." 

"I'm right though, right?" Richie asked knowingly.

"yeah, you're not wrong." Eddie agreed.

Richie and Eddie got out and ogled at the amazing home. Bev looked equally impressed by it as she stood with her mouth open looking up at the top of the house, straining her neck. 

"I hope you'll be happy here Beverly." Aunt molly said as she put a hand on Bev's shoulder. 

"I will be Aunt Molly... Thank you." Bev said hugging her tightly. 

Richie and Eddie both smiled at each other. Bev deserved this. 

Richie was happy he no longer had to worry about Mr. Marsh abusing Bev, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Bev's good fortune. Where was his long lost family member to show him the love hes never had or the money hes never had for that matter? Richie looked down at Eddie, who was still smiling at Bev and her aunt. His eyes were so warm and loving. Richie awed at his beauty and the way his freckles danced on his cheeks and nose like little fireworks of brown speckles. His baby boy was so cute. Richie was reminded in that moment just how much he had.

They all started to bring boxes into the house and Richie and Eddie started helping set up the room Bev picked out. 

"look at this closet!" Bev yelled giddily. "Its bigger than my last bedroom!" 

Eddie seemed to be equally excited about it. "And look at all the shelves and drawers for organizing!" 

"You guys are such girls." Richie laughed. 

Eddie turned around with a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow at Richie. "Rich, just last week you were asking if your pink jacket made you look fat..." 

"It was a valid question! pink is a hard color to pull off!" Richie yelled, offended. 

Eddie leaned down as if by habit to plant a kiss on Richie's head but quickly stopped himself when he remembered they weren't alone.

Beverly noticed the hesitation and let out an annoyed sigh. "its fine Eddie... You guys can kiss. Richie already told me everything." 

"Bev!" Richie yelled. 

"What?! I'm tired of pretending I don't know! Its not like I care." 

Richie looked at Eddie as if he might burst into flames. "Eddie?"

Eddie looked surprisingly calm. "Its okay Richie. I already figured you told her." 

"So you're not mad?" Richie asked carefully. He had his hands over his face in case Eddie was planning to sneak attack punch him. 

"No, I trust you Bev." Eddie said smiling at her and she smiled back.

"Sweet!" Richie said as he kissed Eddie's cheek swiftly. 

Eddie scoffed and wiped Richie's sloppy kiss off. "just because I'm okay with her knowing doesn't mean i'm all for PDA Richie." 

"Whatever." Richie said shrugging. "hey Bev?" 

"yeah Rich?" 

"Eddie is my boyfriend!" Richie said giddily. "At least now I can say it!" 

Eddie rolled his eyes at that and Bev just shook her head. 

They continued to help Bev unpack and Richie made right by his promise of not being helpful in the design department... leaving that to Eddie and just adding in his unhelpful commentary once in a while while he sat on the floor drinking a juice box. 

Around 4:00 Eddie realized how long they had been there and told Richie they needed to get to Joey's soon. Richie dragged his feet of course, not wanting to deal with the consequences of being a failed drug dealer. Eddie got him in the truck though finally and they waved goodbye to Bev and her aunt. 

On the way to Joey's bar Eddie could tell Richie was nervous. He wasn't playing the loud music that he normally did and he wasn't talking much. 

When they got there Eddie held tightly to Richie's hand as they walked from the parking lot to the club. Richie was shaking. 

Richie not only had to tell Joey about getting his supply stolen but was also going to ask if he could stop dealing all together and do something else - something safer for Eddie’s sake. Joey was cool but he was also a drug baron and they didn't mess around. Richie had only been involved with this stuff for a about a month now and it was intense to say the least so he really didn't know what to expect. 

Before they could even step inside Richie stopped walking, bringing him and Eddie both to a halt. 

“Richie?” 

Richie was looking down, dark curls covering his eyes. 

Eddie walked back towards him and let his free hand grab under Richie’s chin, gently lifting his head. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” 

Richie forced a slight smile and let out a sigh. 

They started to walk again, the bouncer letting them through when he saw it was one of “Joey's boys.” 

Richie, still holding Eddie’s hand led them to the back where Joey’s office was. 

“Wait here.” Richie said as he let go of Eddie’s hand. 

Eddie grabbed Richie’s arm before he could go too far. 

“You don’t want me to come with you?” 

Richie smiled and pressed a sweet kiss into Eddie’s lips. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

And with that Richie knocked on the glass window of Joey’s office door and heard a sing songy voice on the other side. “comeee innnnnnn!” 

Richie carefully opened the door and shut it behind him. 

“Hey Joe, it’s Richie, I…” 

“Richie!” Joey said cutting him off as he spun around in his chair. “Jeez kid, they really did a number on you didn’t they?” 

Richie went to gently rub at one of the gashes above his eyebrow. 

“You know?” Richie asked. 

“Rich my boy, of course I know.” 

“Then you're not mad?” Richie questioned carefully. 

Joey laughed deep and sarcastic. “You lost me 10,000 dollars worth of drugs boy... I’m mad.” 

Joey opened one of his desk drawers and Richie flew up against the wall dramatically. 

“Woah, Joe. Please. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to lose you money! I'll do anything! Just please don’t kill me!” Richie yelled frantically with his arms over his head. 

“I’m just getting out a candy bar Rich. Stress eating.” 

Richie looked up carefully to see the Twix in Joey’s hand and sighed in relief as he let his arms down.

“Besides I think we can come to some kind of agreement… you can pay me back.” 

“But Joe I don’t have any money.” 

“There’s more than one way to pay someone back.” Joey said in a low voice. 

Richie felt a rock drop in his stomach. 

Joey wiped the bits of candy bar off his lips and set it back in his drawer as he started to stand, walking around his desk towards Richie. 

“You’re lucky you’re so pretty, kid.” 

Richie pressed his back against the wall again, feeling nervous about where this was going.

Joey came close to Richie. Close enough that Richie could smell his cigar stained breath. Joey looked Richie up and down before reaching out and rubbing his cheek and pulling his glasses off, throwing them on the chair beside them. 

He began to rub Richie's thigh with his other hand and Richie let out a choking sound. 

“What… what are you doing?” Richie asked shakily. 

“C'mon you're not that big of an idiot.” Joey laughed. “You lose me money, you give me something I want... you are the something.” 

Joey pressed his lips against Richie’s neck and began to suck and nip hard at his skin, forcing Richie to squirm uncomfortably below him. Richie was tall but even he was toppled by Joey's height. 

Richie felt frozen but then he remembered little Eddie standing outside the door. 

“No!” Richie yelled as he pushed Joey off. 

Joey’s face morphed into someone Richie had yet to meet and Richie suddenly felt himself become full of regret. 

“Fuck. Joey I’m sorry I..” 

“Okay Listen you little shit.” Joey spat in Richie's face. “You are going to let this happen… or you or going to disappear. Don’t pretend you don’t want me. You’ve been flirting since we met.”

Richie swallowed hard. “Eddie and I are together now.” 

“Okay, well he can join us if you want.” 

Richie scoffed. "Over my dead body." He thought. 

“You owe me.” Joey whispered into Richie’s ear. “You can’t say no.” He stepped back buttoning his suit back up casually. “We can do it at my place. Say, next Thursday night at 8? I’ll have a few hours to spare.” 

Richie was breathing heavily now, unable to slow it and yet it felt like he wasn’t getting enough air. Is this what it felt like for Eddie when he was having a panic attack? 

“Do the right thing Richie.” Joey smiled Fakely. Richie hadn’t noticed it was fake until now. 

Joey wasn’t his savior... he was evil. 

“You can go now.” Joey waved him off. “I’ll have Marissa send you a new supply, but don’t lose it this time… next time I won’t be so forgiving.” 

Richie grabbed for his glasses, pushing them back on as he slowly opened the door and slumped back into the hallway, still in shock of what had happened. He was trapped. 

Eddie was still standing there against the wall and quickly went to Richie as he closed the door behind him. 

“Well?!” Eddie asked. 

Richie just stood with wide eyes shaking his head. 

Eddie could tell something was very wrong. 

“Richie? What happened?!” Eddie’s eyes then trailed over to the large hickey on Richie's neck, still slick from Joey's mouth. 

Eddie looked at it and back at Richie, going back and forth between them hoping for an explanation but Richie just stood frozen. 

Eddie's eyes widened as he started to connect the dots. “Oh hell no!” Eddie yelled as he started to stomp over to Joey's office door. 

Richie grabbed him and held him back. 

“Rich let go!” 

Richie pulled on Eddie, starting to lead them out. “We need to go Eddie... Right now." Richie knew if Eddie caused any trouble Joey might go after him too and he would never be able to live with himself if something happened to Eddie. 

Eddie was struggling hard as Richie pulled him. "Stop Eddie, seriously!" Richie yelled. 

"No! I'm giving that bastard a piece of my mind!" 

Richie finally became fed up and lifted Eddie, throwing him over his shoulder and taking him out to the truck. 

"Richie, what the fuck?!' Eddie yelled as Richie set him down. "What happened?! Why did he... i don't understand." Eddie sputtered out erratically. 

Richie leaned up against the truck and started to let his tears fall. "You were right Eddie." Richie cried. "I'm an idiot." 

Eddie walked over to Richie, fitting himself between his boyfriends long legs and taking his wet face in his hands. "Tell me whats going on." 

Richie couldn't seem to get the words out just apologizing to Eddie over and over again. 

"What are you sorry for?" Eddie asked a little nervous. "Did you... did you want him to touch you?" Eddie asked, now with tears in his eyes. He assumed right away that the advances were not reciprocated but maybe he was wrong? 

"What? Fuck no!" Richie scoffed. "I don't want that slimy bastard anywhere near my junk." 

Eddie wiped his tears and let out a relived sigh. He knew Richie could never do that to him. 

"He told me I could pay him back for the drugs I lost..." 

"Well that's good." Eddie said warily. 

"With my body." 

Eddie turned as red as fire at that. Richie could almost feel the heat radiating from Eddie's small body. 

"That fucking pervert!" Eddie seethed as he shook with anger. it took everything in him to not turn around and kill Joey with his bare hands... He knew Richie would stop him though. "Well you're not going to do it..." Eddie said certainly. 

"Yeah that might be a little difficult." Richie said, to put it lightly. "He said if I don't he's going to get rid of me... That ill disappear." 

Eddie stepped back, starting to breath heavily. Richie knew a panic attack was coming and helped Eddie get his Inhaler out of his bag. After Eddie took a few puffs he calmed down a little. "He cant do this Richie." Eddie started to cry. 

Richie pulled him in for a hug. 

"He cant have you Rich. You're mine." 

Richie pulled out of the hug to force Eddie to look at him. "I am Eds... I'm all yours." 

"then don't let him do this." Eddie sniffed. 


	7. Pressure

Eddie spent the days that followed feeling like someone had punched him in the gut. His nerves were shot thinking of what was possibly to come. The thought of that jerk’s hands on Richie made him sick. Every time the image popped in his head he had to physically close his eyes and shake his head to knock the thought out - that won't happen. It can't.   
With each day that passed Eddie was growing more and more nervous the longer they went without a plan of attack on how to get out of this mess. He thought meticulously and came up with a few plans (that he thought were pretty solid) but every time he brought it up to Richie he just shrugged him off saying it wasn't going to work. This frustrated Eddie but he figured Richie must be planning something himself. A classic Richie scheme. That boy could get out of anything, even this. 

On Wednesday, the day before the unspeakable thing was supposed to happen Eddie was basically jumping out of his skin wondering what Richie’s master plan was. He couldn't take it anymore and pulled Richie aside into the hallway at lunch to find out exactly what was going on. 

“So what's the plan?” Eddie asked. 

Richie gave him a weird look. “What?” 

“The plan Richie, what's the plan?” Eddie repeated himself as if Richie was just not paying attention the first time. 

“I heard you, I just don't get it Eds… What plan?” 

Eddie started to freak out a little inside. 

“Richie stop joking… I want to know what your plan is for getting out of Joey’s disgusting proposal.” 

Richie’s face turned sympathetic and guilty at that. He looked like he was about to tell Eddie his dog died and he was the one who killed it. 

“Eds…” 

“Don't call me that. What's going on?” 

“There is no plan.” Richie said softly, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder to which Eddie moved out of his grasp. 

“What the fuck do you mean?!” Eddie demanded. 

“Eddie I have to do this.” 

“Wha-what?” Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “No. Richie you can’t. We have to find a way out of it… I know we can.” 

“There is no way out.” Richie was still and emotionless, like that light in him had burned out. Eddie noticed that Richie had been quiet but he never imagined it was because he’d given up. 

“What’s wrong with you?!” Eddie yelled. “Where’s the Richie who plots and schemes his way out of everything?!” 

“I made a bad choice and now I have to deal with the consequences.” 

“Oh, so now you believe in consequences?!” Eddie yelled, turning some heads in the hallway. 

Richie stepped towards him but he just backed away. 

“Eddie please. You have to understand.” 

“Well I don’t!” Eddie just continued to yell - not caring about the onlookers. “And if you do this then... then I can’t be with you!” 

Richie stepped back, unable to process what he was hearing. “Eddie.”

“No! If it were me, you would hate me! Why do you always have to do this?! Why do you always have to go and… and…” Eddie was crying now, unable to stop the wet salty tears from streaming down his face. 

There was a silence between them as Eddie tried to cover his tears. 

“Eddie do you hate me?” 

Eddie was a little taken aback by his question. He didn’t hate Richie. He could never hate Richie. But he was confused, angry and heartbroken. 

“No Rich I don’t hate you.” Eddie sniffed. 

Richie searched Eddie’s eyes as if he didn’t quite believe him. 

“But I meant what I said. This is just… it’s too much. I can’t be with you like this. It’s too hard… and you're still dealing.” 

“Eddie it’s because I have to… don’t you get that? I don’t have a choice in any of this.” 

“We always have a choice Richie.” 

Richie scoffed at that. Eddie could never understand. With his overprotective mother Eddie never had to wonder where his next meal was coming from. Fuck. He barely had to lift a finger most the time. Richie couldn’t believe what a spoiled brat Eddie was being.

“Eddie if I were to refuse, Joey would have me killed… you get that right?!” 

“But you’re not even trying to fight it! That’s like your thing!” Eddie pressed. 

“Eddie I don’t want to die!” 

Eddie didn’t even really know what he was looking for at this point. He knew Richie was in over his head and he didn’t want to see him get hurt either... he was just so mad that he'd even gotten himself in this situation to begin with. 

“Well I can see you’ve already made up your mind about it.” Eddie said as he tried to be strong, even with the tears still falling down his face. “I hope you have a good time with him.” He seethed as he started to walk away.

“Eddie wait!” Richie yelled as he grabbed hold of Eddie’s arm. 

Eddie quickly pulled out of his grip and ignored his pleas as he continued to walk away. 

Richie and Eddie didn’t talk for the rest of the day and when Eddie got home he ran right upstairs to his room and cried.

He couldn’t stop thinking about their fight and what would happen tomorrow. He cried thinking about what Joey might have Richie do… things he may never get to do with him now.

He thought and cried until he made himself sick. 

“Eddie bear? Are you throwing up in there sweetie?!” 

“No ma.” Eddie lied as he flushed his vomit down the toilet. 

“Really? I could’ve sworn I heard you getting sick.” 

“Nope. Just going to the bathroom.” Eddie called back as he started to wash his hands. 

“Alright sweetie. Just go to bed soon... it’s very late.” 

Eddie looked at himself in the mirror. Fuck. He looked bad. His skin was pasty and the bags under his eyes had bags. He definitely looked like he’d been crying for a good five hours… probably because he had. 

Being in love fucking sucks. 

The next day Eddie could barely get out of bed. He danced around with the idea of skipping but his mom would have thought he was sick and immediately taken him to the hospital and Eddie really didn’t feel like spending all day at the ER. So, he opted to just go to school. 

When he saw Richie he wasn’t looking so good either. He had an equal amount of bags under his eyes and he looked… sad. 

Eddie suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Of course he is sad. Not only does he have to do the terrible awful with Joey later but Eddie broke up with him… maybe he’ll like it with Joey… maybe he’ll want to be with him. 

During fourth period, Eddie asked to go to the bathroom and upon walking out into the hall he saw two figures by the lockers. He realized It was Richie with his head buried into Bev’s shoulder as he cried. 

Eddie’s heart sank. Maybe he should go over? - No. Eddie just pretended he hadn’t seen them and carried on. 

After school Eddie’s heart was racing with anticipation of what was to come. He wasn’t sure he should go home right way, his mother would definitely know something was up. So he   
decided to stay at the library as late as he could. 

Eddie was sitting at a table in the corner of the quiet library when all of a sudden a hand smacked down in front of him on the table. “Eddie!” It was Bev. 

Eddie jumped back. “Bev? I thought you left a while ago.”

“I did. My aunt drove me back here.” 

“Do you need help studying or someth…” 

“EDDIE!” Beverly said dramatically pushing his books off the table. “This is no time for studying!”

“Bev what the fuck?!” 

Bev put her hands on Eddie’s shoulders and shook him - hoping to knock some sense into him. 

“The love of your life is about to do the dirty with another man!” 

Eddie scoffed at her and pushed her rough hands away. “He’s hardly the love of my life… and there’s nothing I can do to stop him. He made that pretty clear.” 

“But I can!” Bev smiled. “But we have to go now, he’s probably on his way there!” Bev grabbed Eddie’s wrist and pulled. 

“Bev wait! What are you talking about?!” 

Bev sighed as if an explanation was a waste of time. “I told my aunt everything and she offered to help.” 

Eddie still looked confused and Bev sighed again. 

“Buy his way out… she’s going to pay Joey off.” 

Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “Really?!” 

“Yes. That’s why we have to go!” 

Eddie shot up and grabbed his things, running out the door after Bev. 

Bev managed to figure out where Joey lives and directed her aunt to it. It was 7:45 and they were about 30 minutes out. They needed to hurry. 

Eddie couldn’t stop tapping his foot nervously in the back of the van as Bev’s aunt rambled on about how disgusting Joey was for taking advantage of a kid in Richie’s situation, which just added to Eddies’s guilt for not standing by Richie and maybe even being… unreasonable?... yeah right. 

*Richie’s perspective* 

Richie had given up - he may as well just die right now. Not only had he lost the love of his life but he was being forced to do the things he wanted to do with the love of his life with someone else. Sleeping was out of the question at this point so he looked pretty bad at school. Maybe it was a good thing though... maybe his less than appealing looks would throw Joey off and he wouldn't want to do this anymore. Wishful thinking. 

Richie hadn't really thought about what would happen in detail but now he was starting to. Sure, he'd had sex before. He lost his virginity back in freshman year. He was by no means a player but he's had his fair share of encounters - but those were all with girls. This was different. He had never done anything with a boy apart from dry humping with Eddie. This was going to be different. He knew that. He wasn't an expert on the subject but he knew enough to know he wasn't ready for all that. At least not with Joey. He wanted it with Eddie. 

When Richie got to his apartment after school he wondered if he should get himself ready for Joey? Like shower and shit... and what should he wear?. Fuck. He didn’t know. His palms were getting sweaty as he became increasingly more nervous. 

You have to do this. He’ll kill you if you don’t. Don’t be a pussy. 

Richie ended up taking a shower. It was less for Joey and more for himself. He’d hoped that the warm water would wash away some of his nerves. It didn’t. 

He opted to wear something casual. Just some of his regular black jeans and a white v neck. Something that said “I’m here to do what you want, but I still have my dignity.”... yeah right. 

Finally 7:00 rolled around to end Richie’s torment of waiting and pacing. 

He jumped in his truck and started driving to the address he’d been given by Joey. His stomach was turning as he drove. What would Joey make him do? He was obviously experienced. Richie was sure this wasn’t the first time someone like him got wrapped up with Joey. 

Richie started thinking about possible scenarios.. none completely appealing to him. He found himself wondering what it would’ve been like to do this with Eddie instead and his heart sank. 

Eddie was never going to forgive him for this and Richie would never forgive himself for this. 

Joey’s house looked like something out of a futuristic movie. Most of the walls were windows. That’s probably why he had to have such a long driveway and be tucked away by so many trees… to keep his secrets hidden.

Great. No one will be able to hear Richie’s screams. 

Richie Parked and slowly got out of his car. He had intended on walking towards the house of course but he sound himself unable to move. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the world and his face was growing hotter. He wanted to just run into the woods surrounding Joey’s house and never come back. Before he could think on it any longer Joey emerged from the front door wearing nothing but a red bathrobe. 

Oh god.

“Richiiiieeeee!” He sang. “Come in my delicious little snack. Don’t keep me waiting any longer.”

Richie cringed at his words but began to walk towards him. 

With every step he took his heart sank more and he couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie. 

Richie stepped inside and everything looked very luxurious and most everything was animal print… exactly what Richie would have imagined a drug lords house to look like. 

“So where do you want to do this?” Richie asked as he kept his eyes on the floor. 

Joey raised an eyebrow at him and then lifted Richie’s head. 

“Patience baby boy.” 

Richie was no ones baby boy except Eddie’s. He hated this. He fucking hated someone else’s hands on him. He didn’t know how much this would sting. 

“Would you like a drink?” Joey asked. 

Richie thought for a second… he could poison it… but it also would loosen him up a bit. 

“Sure.” 

Joey winked and strode into the kitchen. “Sit down and get comfortable.” 

Richie sat on the leopard print couch carefully and did his best to do what joey said and get comfortable... to no avail. 

Joey came back with two glasses of wine in his hands and handed one to Richie as he sat beside him. 

Richie took a large gulp. 

“Nervous are we?” Joey asked mockingly. 

Richie held back from going off on Joey. Of Course he was nervous. He was being forced to have sex with someone he didn’t want to have sex with and it cost him the love of his life… 

“A little.” 

Joey reached up and rubbed Richie's cheek. It took everything in Richie not to pull away. 

“I’ll be gentle.” Joey said, his hot breath on Richie’s face. Joey looked away from Richie's eyes down to his crotch and Richie squirmed a little uncomfortably. 

“You aren't hard yet… we’ll have to fix that.” Joey smirked and then pressed his lips to Richie’s neck. He then let his hand rub over Richie's crotch.

“Hmmmfff.” Richie groaned out. 

Joey smiled against Richie’s neck and then lifted himself off to press a wet kiss against Richie’s lips and push him back into the couch. 

This was the worst. He didn’t smell like Eddie. He didn’t taste like Eddie. 

All of a sudden there was a harsh knock at the door and they both sprang up. 

“What the fuck! Who the fuck did you tell to come here?” Joey demanded. 

“No one, I swear!” 

Joey reached into the cushion of the couch and pulled out a gun. 

“Woah woah woah!” Richie yelled as he shot off the couch. 

“Calm down, it's not for you… yet.” 

Eddie, Bev and her aunt all raced out of van towards Joey's house. It was now 8:10 and who knows how much could have happened in ten minutes. 

Eddie was kind of upset to see Richie's truck was actually there. He had secretly been hoping that Richie would find a way out or that he'd been joking this whole time. 

“Maybe you kids should wait in the van. I don’t know how dangerous this Joey person is.” 

“No. We aren't leaving.” Bev said surly. 

Eddie wished she would have said okay. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see what was going on behind that door. 

Bev’s eyes darted to the side of the house where they could see right into the living room and her eyes widened. 

Eddie turned to see what was catching her eye and is stomach dropped to his feet at the sight. 

Richie was laying on the couch, Joey above him, kissing him. Kissing his Richie. It was as awful as Eddie imagined to see someone else with their hands on Richie like that. 

“Eddie?” Beverly said sympathetically. 

Eddie’s sadness turned to anger as he took the liberty of knocking hard on the door to stop them. 

When Joey opened the door he didn’t look happy. “Who the fuck… wait.” That’s when Joey recognized Eddie and Beverly. “What the fuck are your little friends doing here Tozier?” Joey asked in a paranoid, angry voice. 

“I… I don’t know.” Richie blinked in disbelief from behind Joey. 

Bev’s aunt started to intervene. “Hello. I’m Molly Belle.” She said as nice as she could to hide her disgust. 

“I don’t care who the fuck you people are… get out of here!” Joey yelled. 

“We want to negotiate..” Bev’s aunt started. 

At that Joey grabbed Richie hard by the wrist and wrapped his arm around his neck, trapping him and pushing the gun against Richie’s head. 

“Richie!” Bev screamed. 

Eddie was in shock. Everything was happening so fast. 

“Joey please.” Richie said softly. 

Joey Ignored Richie’s pleas as he pushed the gun harder into the side of his head. “You people think I’m joking?! I will shoot him! Get out of here!” 

Eddie was starting to cry now, his brain catching up to what was happening. “Please don’t hurt him. Please.” 

Joey looked annoyed at Eddie. “Shut the fuck up or you’ll be next.” 

“No. Eddie. Get out of here now.” Richie said as he squirmed in Joey’s grip. 

“Please!” Bev’s aunt cried. “There’s no need for this! I have the money!” She worked quickly to open her bag she brought with all the cash to show Joey. “It’s all there… everything he owes you.” 

Joey looked in the bag and then threw Richie aside to get a better look, making him fall to the ground.

Joey laughed menacingly as he made sure the money was real and all there. "Looks like you know some people baby boy." He sighed as he watched Richie stand and bit his lip as he looked him up and down. “Shame though.” 

Joey stepped aside to let Richie pass and he immediately ran to Eddie, wrapping his arms around him. He couldn't help it. He didn't care if Eddie was still mad. To his surprise Eddie returned the tight embrace. 

Joey rolled his eyes. Almost gagging at the exchange. “I don’t want to see any of you again… now get off my property.” He said, shutting the door. 

They didn’t need to be told twice, hurrying to the van. 

Richie and Eddie jumped in the back and Bev sat up front with her aunt. 

"Holy Hannah." Aunt Molly breathed out, shaking her head as she drove. "How on god's green earth did you get tangled up with a man like that?" 

It was too long of a story and Richie was sure Bev had already told her most of it so he just began apologizing. "I'm so sorry... You didn't have to do that." 

"of course I did! As soon as my niece told me about your situation I knew I had to help... I just never would have guessed it was that bad." Aunt Molly said as if she had just been through it. Sometimes the losers forget that not everyone has fought a demon space clown and things like violence and danger are new to them. "No matter. I'm just glad you are safe and I hope you'll stay with Bev and I." 

Richie smiled. "Yes! thank you!" 

This was perfect. He was going to be living with his best friend in the most beautiful house in Derry and he was going to be with the most beautiful boy in Derry. He looked over at Eddie who wasn't showing as much enthusiasm as he would have liked. 

He rubbed his hand against Eddie's to hold his hand but Eddie pulled away. Weird. 

"Eddie?" are you okay?" Richie whispered as Bev and her aunt talked in the front. 

"Yeah, im fine." 

Richie furrowed his brow at Eddie. "You don't seem fine... aren't you happy that we can be together again?" 

Eddie's head sprung up to look at Richie. "We... we aren't together Rich." 

Richie felt his gut twist at his words and just like that his momentary bliss was gone. "What?" 

Eddie sighed. "I'm glad you are done with joey but how will I know you wont do something like this again? How can I trust you?"

"Eddie." Richie said as he placed Eddie's hand on his chest. "You know me." 

Eddie was lost in the feeling of Richie's warmth under his hand and the thump of his heart in his chest. He let his hand linger for a moment more before he pulled away. "I do know you. Your irresponsible and reckless." 

Richie looked away. Another rejection. He thought maybe his heart would give out. The pain of Eddie wanting him and then not wanting him was just too much. 

"I just don't want to get hurt." Eddie sighed. 

Richie just nodded as he looked out the window. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. He gets it. Eddie wanting him was too good to be true. besides, he was right... who knew how long it would be before he did something stupid again. Eddie was better off without him. 

Eddie was sure he was doing the right thing. He wouldn't have to worry about Richie breaking his heart this way. But looking at Richie, he thinks maybe he was breaking his own heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my Eddie is such a stubborn and indecisive boy! Things will turn around for these two... eventually! xoxo


	8. Loving Someone

Eddie tried to go back to normal after everything happened with Richie… the break up. It was proving to be difficult though. All he thought about was still Richie… maybe even more now. 

Richie went back to normal. well, normal for Richie. To the annoyance of Eddie. It felt wrong to wish for Richie’s unhappiness but he could at least be a little upset about their break up… it was like he was pretending it never happened. He just went back to his usual crap of teasing Eddie relentlessly and using his dumb voices to answer him instead of being serious. 

Good to know he cared. Whatever. It makes moving on easier… as if there was anyone to move on with. Since being with Richie, Eddie had realized something very important about himself… he wasn’t attracted to girls... like at all. And the school wasn’t exactly dripping with available gay guys. 

Even though they were back to almost normal, Eddie thinks the losers may have caught on… at least Stan had. He kept dropping hints about knowing. Like it was fun to torture them with his knowledge and superior wisdom. He constantly would say things like. “Wow Eddie, don’t you think the lesson today was enRICHing?” And “it was super EDucational huh Richie?” 

Yup. He definitely knew. 

“What? Eddie why wouldn’t you be coming to the movies with us?” Mike asked as he walked beside Eddie through the hallway. 

“I’m sick.” Eddie lied. 

Mike rolled his eyes. “You always say that.” 

Eddie shrugged avoiding eye contact. He couldn’t tell him the real reason. He was avoiding Richie. It had been hard to be around him when Richie wouldn’t even acknowledge what happened between them. 

“Please come Eddie. I’m going to bring Flora and I need you and Stan there to show her not all my friends are... well you know.” 

Eddie did know and he couldn’t say no to Mike. He would have done it for Eddie and he barely ever asked for help so he must really like Flora. 

“Okay, Fine.” Eddie sighed. 

Mike fist pumped. “Yes! You’ll balance Richie out.” He laughed. 

Eddie let out an uncomfortable chuckle. “Yeah. Sure.” 

Mike noticed Eddie’s stiffness. “Hey, you okay? You’ve seemed off lately... you and Richie both have.” 

Eddies eyes grew wide as he picked up the pace. 

“What do you mean?” Eddie said kind of robotically as they walked into their class and sat.

“Well I don’t know... we’ve all noticed it though. Things have been off with you guys. One day you guys are better than ever and the next you won’t even look at each other... it’s hard to keep up with.”

“Tell me about it.” Eddie whispered to himself but Mike heard and gave him a weird look. 

“I mean yeah... you know us.” Eddie corrected himself and shrugged. 

“No. It’s different.” Mike pushed. “I can’t put my finger on it and every time I ask Stan what he thinks he just starts laughing and shakes his head.” 

Eddie started to scoot down in his chair as if he could scoot out of this conversation. 

Mike put his hand on Eddie’s arm and smiled softly. “I just hope that if something was going on you would tell us what it was. We are all here for you guys.” 

Eddie officially felt like the worst friend ever. He should tell the losers... and he wanted to. It would be nice to have someone to talk to besides Bev who ALWAYS took Richie’s side… He wasn’t sure there was really anything to tell anymore though. 

Eddie just smiled back at mike and luckily he dropped the subject. 

Eddie’s next class was with Richie and he’d hoped he wouldn’t have to talk to him but it would be kind of hard since Richie sat right next to him. Richie always made a point to sit in the front with Eddie if he had a class with him. Richie hated being in the front but it was worth it to sit by the teacher's pet (Eddie) and annoy him for an hour. 

Eddie was surprised to see Richie wasn’t in his normal spot by Eddie’s seat and someone else was there. It was Tyler Birch. He was a quiet boy who was new to the school and funny enough, the only openly gay boy in Derry. Eddie had never seen him in this class before. He must have just switched in. 

Eddie sat down slowly. “Hi.” He said politely. 

Tyler looked up from his book and gave Eddie a smile. 

Tyler was pretty short, but not as short as Eddie. He had slicked down black hair and dark tan skin. He wore similar clothes to Eddie too. Khaki shorts and a polo. 

He was kind of cute actually.

Richie walked in soon after Eddie sat down and immediately speed walked over to Tyler when he saw where he was sitting and placed his hands on the edges of his desk, looming over Tyler. 

“This is my seat.” He said bluntly. 

Tyler looked up at Richie with an intimidated look on his face. 

“Oh... I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Tyler said shakily as he started to gather his things. 

Eddie put a hand on Tyler’s arm to stop him from leaving.

“Richie... don’t be a dick.” Eddie said. “Just go find a different seat.” 

Richie's head snapped towards Eddie and gave him an equally shocked and dirty look. 

Eddie ignored Richie’s blatant hurt and turned his attention to Tyler. 

“Please, Stay. Richie is just an asshole.” 

Richie shook his head in disbelief but walked away to sit in the back without another word. 

“Thanks.” Tyler said bashfully to Eddie as he sat back down. 

“No problem. You were here first. He shouldn't have been like that.” 

“I’m used to it.” Tyler shrugged. 

Eddie’s heart fell a little at that. He must mean that people aren’t nice to him because he’s gay. 

“Do you want to go to the movies tonight?” Eddie blurted. 

Tyler looked shocked by the question and Eddie realized it may have seemed like he was asking him out on a date.

“With my friends and I.” He added quickly. 

“Really? Um… Sure.” Tyler smiled. 

“Great.” Eddie smiled back. “I can have my mom pick you up… if you want.” 

“Yeah that would be great.” Tyler said as he wrote his number and address on a piece of paper and handed it to Eddie. 

Eddie noticed at the corner of his eye Richie was intently looking at them from the back of the room. Eddie really was only being nice but Richie finally somewhat acting like he cared about something was nice. 

Eddie expected to get the full trashmouth treatment after class because of what he did but surprisingly Richie ignored him. 

When he showed up with Tyler to the movies the losers were all in the lobby waiting for him. 

Eddie felt a punch to the gut when he saw Richie talking up some girl that worked there… and by the little giggles and hair twirls he may have actually been getting somewhere. 

And like it was instinct Eddie linked arms with Tyler and brought him over to the losers. 

“Hey guys.” 

The losers and flora all turned around to greet Eddie except for Richie who continued to talk to the girl. 

“This is Tyler.” Eddie said a little louder. 

Richie turned around quickly at that, walking away from the girl mid conversation to rejoin the group. He made his way to the front standing as tall as he could instead of his usual slouch to make it clear just how much taller he was than Tyler. “The seat stealer?” Richie Scoffed. 

Tyler went white at that and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Jeez, I’m super sorry about that.” 

“Richie be nice.” Ben scolded. “I’m Ben, nice to meet you Tyler.” He said as he reached out a hand. 

Richie rolled his eyes and stepped back a little, obviously not enjoying this. 

The rest of the losers introduced themselves and Eddie introduced himself to flora. They all then proceeded to the counter to get their tickets and snacks. 

Eddie could see the girl Richie had been flirting with slip him a phone number at the counter but he didn’t seem as interested as he had been earlier, pushing the paper into his pocket and saying “sure. Whatever.” 

They all shuffled into the movie theater. Richie sat on one end by Bev and Eddie sat on the other by Tyler. 

During the movie Eddie could see Richie peek over at them every now and then. Maybe him being nice to Tyler would finally get Richie to stop acting like nothing happened. Eddie took full advantage of the situation and sat a little closer to Tyler than he needed to and touched his hand “accidentally” every now and then. Richie wasn’t even pretending to watch the movie at one point, practically crawling over Bev. Eddie even heard Bev say “Richie Stop. You’re being so obvious.” To which Richie just ignored her. 

During the movie Eddie stepped out to go to the bathroom and heard the theater door open for someone again behind him. 

“Eddie! Eddie!” Richie called after him. 

Eddie’s stomach turned when he heard his voice... He knew what was coming and he was secretly happy that Richie was finally going to be serious with him. 

Eddie didn’t acknowledge Richie or slow down but he eventually caught up and stepped in front of him. 

“What?” Eddie said pretending to sound annoyed. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m going to the bathroom asshole, what’s it look like?” Eddie said as he pushed passed Richie. 

“No. I mean with Tyler.” 

Eddie picked up speed a little bit as Richie walked after him. 

“I like him.”

“What? Eddie, C'mon you don’t like that guy.” Richie said as he followed Eddie into the bathroom. 

“How do you know what I like?!” Eddie yelled as the bathroom door shut behind them. 

“I’ve known you since I was eight... you can’t possibly like that boring stick in the mud!” Richie laughed. “He’s not funny at all!” 

Eddie shook his head in frustration. “Not everything has to be funny Richie!”

“Obviously. Tyler isn’t.” 

Eddie looked like he was going to lose it, but quickly composed himself again - he didn’t want to give Richie the satisfaction of getting under his skin. “It might interest you to know I like a guy who takes life seriously from time to time.” 

“Oh yeah, because that’ll make for a fun time.” Richie scoffed as he rolled his eyes. 

“I AM having fun with Tyler!” Eddie yelled. “You wouldn’t understand the things we talk about... you never want to talk about anything smart.” 

Richie’s eyebrows furrowed and he stepped back as if the comment had physically pushed him away from Eddie. 

“What, Because I’m stupid?” He asked scornfully. 

“No. But you lack emotional depth.” 

“And that brick of a boy has it?!” Richie said pointing as if Tyler were in the room. 

Eddie let out a frustrated huff. “Grow up Richie.” 

Suddenly the bathroom door opened at Tyler walked in. 

“Why are you yelling at Eddie?” He asked. 

“Mind your own business Taylor.” Richie spat. 

“It’s Tyler.” 

“Whatever.” 

“You shouldn’t talk to him like that.” Tyler said puffing out his chest. 

Richie laughed his dark trashmouth laugh and stepped towards Tyler, towering over him. “I eat scarier things than you for breakfast.”

Eddie walked in between them and pushed on Richie’s chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He yelled at Richie. 

“Me?! What’s wrong with you?!” Richie asked in disbelief as he turned around and stormed out of the bathroom. 

There was a moment of silence before Eddie smiled awkwardly at Tyler. “Sorry about that.” 

“So how long were you guys together?” Tyler asked.

Eddie could feel his cheeks get hot at his question. 

“What?” Eddie fake laughed. 

“Please… you two obviously have feelings for each other… broken up though now I’m assuming.” 

Eddie was going to deny it but there was really no point. 

“We weren’t together that long… but we’ve known each other since we were kids.” Eddie sighed. It felt good to say it. 

“So was you bringing me here just to make him jealous?” Tyler asked. 

“No!” Eddie assured him. “I just felt for you since you’re out and people in Derry are assholes… I don’t know how you do it.” 

Tyler laughed. “Me either. It’s not easy, but I do it for people like you and Richie and all the other kids who feel like they’re alone and can’t come out.” 

Eddie smiled at Tyler. He really was a good guy and someone Eddie would probably go good with but truthfully, Richie was right. Tyler did bore Eddie. He spent most of the car ride to and from the movies talking about all the different plants he had and showing Eddie his plant book he brought everywhere. Eddie tried to be polite and smile and nod as he talked but he was falling more and more asleep with every painful fact. He just didn’t give Eddie the same feeling Richie did. The same fear. It was safe with Tyler. No risks... That was supposed to be a good thing though. That’s why Eddie broke up with Richie to begin with. All the risks. But now he found himself missing that. The feeling of free falling.

Maybe Eddie is just going through a bad boy phase... ha. As if Richie was a bad boy. Eddie had never seen him like that. He would always just be that dorky trashmouth boy to Eddie no matter how his looks changed. He did have a knack for trouble though. Eddie should be with someone like Tyler. If his mother ever did approve of him being with a boy it would be with a boy like Tyler. It’s who he’s always seen himself with too. Someone kind and smart. Someone who would be wonderfully average. 

Richie ignored Eddie the rest of the night and barley talked to the other losers either. He spent the last part of the movie outside smoking with Bev until they were done. 

“Hey, there they are!” Mike said as they all walked out and found Richie and Bev.

“Where did you g-guys go?” Bill asked. 

Richie didn’t acknowledge the question and just continued to take drags off his cigarette. 

“Oh, sorry guys.” Bev apologized. “You know we are nicotine fiends.”

The losers all looked at the unusually quiet Richie and then at each other, confirming that they all knew something was weird. 

Eddie stood back behind the rest with Tyler. He looked over at Richie who continued to ignore them.

Bev all of a sudden made an excited noise like she had just remembered something and reached into her bag, pulling out a flyer. 

“Guys there is a huge house party happening just a little ways from here on Friday.” She said smiling. “Richie and I are going and you all should too.” 

“Oh… a party… I don’t know Bev.” Ben said as he rubbed his arm nervously. 

“No.” Stan said bluntly. 

“Oh come on you guys. it’ll be fun!” Bev assured them. 

Tyler pushed around the losers and grabbed the flyer from Bev’s hand. “Oh I know about this. You guys should totally go. I’m going.” 

Richie's face suddenly pinched into a sour look as he threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. “Of fucking course you are… tell me, is there anything you won’t be ruining?” 

“Richie!” All the losers said in unison.

“Ignore h-him, there’s a r-reason his nickname is trashmouth.” Bill said. 

Richie groaned and began walking away towards his truck with his hands in his pockets and his hood pulled up over his head. 

“Richie wait! You’re my Ride!” Bev shouted. When Richie kept walking Bev turned towards the losers. “Uh I guess I’m leaving… but you guys are in right? Mike?” 

“Yeah I’ll go.” Mike shrugged. He didn’t want to look lame in front of flora. 

“Alright awesome!” Bev said excitedly. “Ben? Bill? 

Ben and bill looked at each other as if there was some kind of silent stand off and then both nodded back at Bev hesitantly. 

“Yay!” Bev said as she hugged them and then looked over at Stan. “Sta..” she started. 

“Still a no from me Marsh.” He said. 

Bev rolled her eyes at the stubborn boy and then looked at Eddie who was still focused on Richie as he walked away. 

“Eddie?” 

“What?” He said as he snapped out of it and looked at Bev. 

“Will you come?” 

Eddie thought about it for a moment. He didn’t want to go but knowing Richie was going to be there was reason enough to go… only to make sure he behaved himself with Tyler being there of course. 

"Sure." He nodded.

When Friday night rolled around Eddie rode with Mike Ben and Bill to the party. 

When they got there they immediately broke off and Eddie was uncomfortable to say the least. The minute he walked in he wanted to leave. The music was terrible and loud and there were gross sweaty kids bumping into him from every direction. He finally found a place in the corner of a room where he could just lean on the wall and sip on his awful alcoholic beverage that some dude had handed him.

“Eddie!” 

Eddie turned to see Tyler coming towards him. 

“Oh, hey Tyler...” Eddie smiled. 

“Did you end up coming with your friends?” Tyler asked. 

“Yeah.” Eddie said as he began to scan the room to see if he could find any of them. He spotted mike and Beverly in the center of the room dancing their asses off. “There’s Bev and mike.” He pointed. He looked around the room for any other losers but instead found something that made him feel like he’d been punched in the gut. 

Across the room Richie had a girl pressed up against the wall and was kissing her. 

Eddie's mouth dried up and his stomach became like tight knots as he watched them. 

“Eddie?” Tyler then focused onto what he was looking at. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

Eddie didn’t answer as he stood frozen, unable to look away as he watched Richie press his hips against the unnamed girl. She was pretty. She had long wavy blonde hair and had her perfectly polished fingernails all over Richie. Practically pulling his shirt off of him in the middle of the party. 

Eddie could feel his bottom lip start to shake with anger and his fists were clenched so tightly at his sides his knuckles had gone white. 

“I’m fine... it’s all good. He can do whatever he wants.” Eddie said to Tyler as he tried to convince himself too of his indifference. 

Eddie then watched with pure unadulterated hate as the girl took Richie by the hand and began to lead him up the stairs. 

“I gotta go.” Eddie said as he walked away from Tyler and chased after Richie and the girl, pushing through the crowd. 

Eddie walked up the stairs to find one of the bedroom doors closed and could hear Richie and the girl talking and laughing inside. 

Eddie should stay out of it. It isn’t his place anymore but he just couldn't bring himself to walk away. something comes over him (probably partially the alcohol) and he opened the door and stomped in. 

“Richie!” He yelled. 

Richie was laying on the bed while the girl straddled him. They both stopped what they were doing to look at Eddie like deer caught in headlights 

“Eddie?” Richie said as he sat up. 

The girl continued to kiss Richie's neck and jaw. 

“I need to talk to you. Right now.” Eddie said through gritted teeth. 

Richie looked at the girl and smiled. “I’ll be right back babe.”

Eddie rolled his eyes so hard it hurt. 

Richie followed Eddie out into the hall and closed the door. 

“What are you doing with her?” Eddie snapped. 

“What does it look like Eds?” Richie laughed. 

“Don’t…” Eddie started and paused. “Don’t call me that.” 

Eddie looked down at the ground. He wasn’t really sure what to say next. He just knew he didn’t want Richie to go back in there. 

Richie frowned at Eddie. “What’s wrong? I thought you would be fine with this?” 

Eddie’s head snapped up. “I..” 

“Because you broke up with me Eddie…” 

“I know but…” Eddie started but couldn’t seem to find the right words. 

“Just admit it.” Richie said. 

“Admit what?”

“Just stop being so stubborn and admit that you are jealous.” Richie said with his arms crossed. 

“I am not.” Eddie huffed. 

“Then what’s happening right now darlin?” Richie smirked. 

Eddie began getting more and more flustered. This went better in his head. Damn him for being such a lightweight. 

Richie leaned over to whisper into his ear. “All you have to do is say the word and it would be you in there instead of her. I’d rather have you.” 

Eddie backed away from Richie. “Richie don’t.” 

“Don’t what?” Richie said smugly as he stepped towards Eddie. 

“Do the thing you always do. We can’t be together.” 

Richie stopped moving towards Eddie and frowned. “Well if that’s the case then just leave me alone and let me move on... you say I need to grow up but I think you need to take your own advice.” 

Eddie felt a pinch in his chest at that. He knew Richie was right. Eddie broke up with him and he should let him do whatever and whoever he wanted… but Eddie couldn't help it. He didn’t want Richie to move on. 

“Why is this so hard?” Eddie sniffed as he began to feel tears form in his eyes. 

“It doesn’t have to be Eds… you’re making it hard.” Richie said as he opened the bedroom door and disappeared behind it again leaving Eddie alone in the hallway. 

Eddie stood there for a minute to collect himself before he walked back down the stairs to rejoin the party and pretend he wasn’t the saddest boy on earth. 

Eddie was surprised to see Richie walk back down the stairs shorty after him without the girl. He watched as Richie walked over to Bev, whispering something to her to which she just nodded sadly at him and then he grabbed his jacket from off a chair and walked out. 

Eddie felt relieved and guilty for stopping them. What was wrong with him?

His whole life Eddie had strayed away from anything mildly dangerous without hesitation so why was staying away from Richie so hard? 

On Saturday Eddie spent the day with his mother helping her do chores around the house and he couldn’t stop thinking about how unfair it was of him to intervene in Richie’s life like he had at the party. It was immature and he knew he was being cruel to Richie. 

He had to apologize, he was going crazy thinking about it. 

He came up with a plan and told his mother he would be staying at Bill’s for the night and had Bill pick him up and drive him to Bev’s aunts. 

“Okay, so you are g-going to make up with Richie so that we can all go b-back to normal?” Bill asked as they drove. 

“That’s the plan.” Eddie said. 

“Good. Because you guys breaking up is the worst thing that’s ever happened to all of us.” 

Eddie turned towards bill as his eyes grew wide and he tried to find words. “Bill… how…” 

Bill smiled. “You really th-thought I wouldn’t catch on? You and Richie have all the subtlety of a h-hand grenade.” 

Eddie still couldn’t seem to find his words and instead felt like he couldn’t breathe and searched his pockets for his inhaler. 

“Calm down Eddie. I won’t tell anyone. We don’t even need to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Bill said kindly. “Just know that I’m here for you.” 

Eddie sat back and looked at his friends worried eyes. Besides Richie, Bill was Eddie’s best friend. 

Eddie sighed. He had to tell someone. He couldn’t live with this burden alone anymore so Eddie told Bill about everything. EVERYTHING. 

“Woah.” Is all Bill could say. 

“I know.” Eddie said 

“I mean I pretty m-much already knew but I never imagined it was that s-serious.” 

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed.

“It makes sense. You and him.” 

Eddie looked over at Bill, worried at his momentary lapse of sanity. “It makes sense? Me and Richie? You’ve got to be joking.” 

Bill laughed. “No really. It does. You guys are always at each other's throats but at the end of the day I see how much you two love each other... how much you need each other.” 

Eddie laughed and jokingly smacked bill on the shoulder. 

“Shit Denbrough, you’re supposed to tell me he’s a dick and I was right to break up with him.” 

“No can do.” Bill said. “I’m convinced you two are soulmates.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Okay Shakespeare. I’m only going over there to tell Richie I’m sorry and that I won’t butt into his life anymore.” 

“I just don’t understand why you guys are broken up? He’s done with Joey and dealing drugs now.” Bill said, confused. 

Eddie let out a large breath. “Because I realized that being with Richie would always be like that. Risky. And you know how I feel about risks.” 

“You’ve got to stop analyzing everything because Richie isn’t just a statistic… you love him.” Bill said. “And love is bigger than all of that stuff.” 

Eddie listened to Bills words and thought through what he was saying. Bill was smart. Smarter than most people gave him credit for. 

“This is why you are a great leader Bill.” Eddie said smiling at him. “And a great friend.” 

Bill smiled back at Eddie. 

“I just don’t think I can get passed my fear. I like to be in control and Richie is so out of control all the time... I just feel like whatever happens to him when we are together is my fault.” 

Bill frowned. “You know that’s not true.” 

Eddie shrugged and was grateful that they changed the subject after that.

Bill dropped Eddie off and told him he’d be back tomorrow morning to pick him up. 

Eddie had called Bev and told her he was coming over to talk to Richie so she was expecting him and her and her aunt greeted him at the door. They engaged in small talk for a moment before Bev directed Eddie to where he would find Richie in that massive house. 

Eddie began to walk up the seemingly endless stairs and as he did he awed at the beautiful, historic home.

He finally reached the top and walked towards the “west wing”… he thinks. What even is a wing? Of Course Richie would need to be in the hardest room to get to in the house. 

Bev on the other hand stayed on the main level with her aunt like a normal person who didn't feel the need to walk through a maze just to get to the kitchen. 

Eddie looked at all the painting on the walls… all of them were pretty creepy. This must be the part of the house that hadn’t been updated. Leave it to Richie to find the weirdest part of the house. 

Eddie kept walking, feeling like maybe he was walking in circles when he heard a small voice. It must be Richie. 

He walked towards the sound and as he did it became more and more clear that it was in fact Richie. The sounds he was making were sporadic and breathy. 

Eddie finally spotted an open door with a light on inside where the sounds were coming from. 

He crept over quietly so he didn’t scare Richie. 

“Eddie. Oh Eddie.” 

Eddie froze. Did Richie know he was there? 

When Richie didn’t come out Eddie thought maybe he had been imagining it. 

Eddie peeked into the room through the crack of the door and his cheeks burned red and eyes widened when he saw what Richie was doing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its getting hot in here. ;)


	9. Please Be Naked

Richie was laying on the bed slouching against the headboard, his sweats were pulled down over his hips and he was stroking himself slowly.

Eddie felt his face heat up with embarrassment as he watched Richie move his hand up and down, his eyes closed and bottom lip sucked under his teeth. 

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. 

“Eddie baby.” Richie moaned.

Richie was thinking of him? Eddie could feel himself growing hard at this revelation. This was so wrong. He shouldn’t be just standing there watching. He should go back down stairs and come back when Richie is… well… done. 

But every time Eddie tried to leave Richie would say his name again. Breathy and hot… Eddie could almost feel the warmth of his breath on his skin. Every moan Richie made had Eddie’s pants growing tighter. 

This was too much. Seeing Richie like this was too much. Eddie’s mind seemed to turn to mush at the sight of Richie like that and all of his earlier thoughts were tossed aside as he began to unbutton his pants and pulled out his own erection. 

Eddie continued to watch Richie with half lidded eyes as he began to stroke himself too, becoming less and less aware of how not okay this was. 

Eddie felt the heat in his stomach build more and more with every little noise Richie made. He wished he could see Richie better… that he could feel him. He closed his eyes to imagine that Richie was touching him. 

Eddie had imagined this so many times but seeing it now in person was so different. It was doing things to Eddie. 

“Richie.” Eddie let a moan slip and immediately put a hand to his mouth. 

Richie stopped in his tracks, pulling his sweats up quickly. 

“Hello?” 

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Eddie whispered to himself as he quickly adjusted himself uncomfortably back into his pants and started to run down the hallway. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t get very far as he ran right into a large cabinet, making him fall backwards. 

Richie walked out of his room, finding Eddie on the ground rubbing the back of his head. 

Richie went stiff. “E-Eddie?”

Eddie turned around and smiled awkwardly at Richie. 

“Um… how much did you see?” Richie asked. 

Eddie began to stand and couldn’t help but look down at the large bulge in Richie’s grey sweats. He could see the outline of Richie’s cock against the fabric, making him let out a small involuntary wine. 

Richie shifted uncomfortably seeing Eddie’s eyes on him. “Eddie. Fuck. I’m sorry if you saw something you didn’t want to. I didn’t know you were there.” 

Eddie snapped out of his daze and looked up at Richie. He looked so good. His eyes were doe like and blown out and his cheeks were flushed from his pleasure induced state. His curls were messier than normal too. Eddie would give anything to run his fingers through them.

“I… um..” Eddie started but couldn’t seem to find the words as he avoided making eye contact with Richie. 

Richie cocked an eyebrow and slouched a bit to see Eddie better. He began to smile smugly as he noticed how flustered Eddie was. His eyes traveled down to the obvious hard on in Eddie’s khakis. 

“Eds… how long were you standing there?”

Eddie went from beat red to ghost white at that. “Not long!” He attested. 

“Mmmhhhhmmm.” Richie hummed. “Then who’s your little friend.” He laughed and pointed at Eddie’s pants to which Eddie quickly covered himself with his hands. 

“Richie!” He yelled. Eddie had never been more humiliated in his life and Richie wasn’t making it any easier for him. 

Richie stepped closer to Eddie, a hungry look on his face. 

“Why are you being so stubborn?” He asked and Eddie backed into the wall in an attempt to keep Richie at a distance.

Richie then put his hands against the wall on either side of Eddie. Trapping him. Richie leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Just stop being an asshole and I’ll blow you.” 

Eddie felt a shiver move through his whole body at that and felt himself get even harder. 

Eddie placed a hand on Richie’s chest and pushed lightly to create some space between them. “Richie I came here to tell you I’m sorry… about the party.” 

Richie shrugged. “It’s fine.” 

Eddie furrowed his brow at Richie’s indifference. “No, Richie I was wrong for stopping you. You should be able to do whatever you want with whoever you want.” 

“Okay.” Richie said and then bent down to press their lips together. 

Eddie couldn’t help but melt into the kiss before fully realizing what was going on and pushed Richie off. 

“Richie no! What the hell.” 

“You said I should be able to do whatever I want with whoever I want… Well I want you.” 

Eddie blushed at that but then shook his head to stop himself from becoming too invested in his words.

“No. I cant.” 

Richie let out an annoyed sigh and stepped back a bit putting his hands down.

“Jesus, I knew when we started dating you weren’t going to make this easy but I didn’t know you would make it impossible.” He said, shaking his head.

Before Eddie could say anything Richie turned away from him. “I don’t get you Eddie. I get out of drug dealing and all that stuff with Joey for you and I’m still not good enough?” 

Eddie stepped forward and put a hand on Richie’s back. 

“Rich. No. You are good enough.” 

Richie turned back around quickly. “Then why?” He demanded. 

“Richie. I’m just scared. I’m always scared.” Eddie said softly. 

“Eddie I thought we were passed this. We can go slow. I’m okay with that.

“No. It’s not…” Eddie started “Richie what if something happens to you when we are together?” 

“What do you mean?” 

Eddie sighed. “I just constantly am worried about you and this dating thing has made it a hundred times worse… when I found you in that alley way I thought you were dead Rich… and I wanted to die too.” 

Richie just stared at Eddie with a shocked expression. 

“You make me crazy Richie and you never think about the outcome of the things you do. What if someday you take it too far and you get taken away from me for good?” Eddie began to choke on his cries. “I… I don’t think I could handle that.” 

Richie blinked in amazement and aw of the boy in front of him. He felt his heart grow full at his words. No one had ever cared for him the way Eddie did. Richie stepped forward and pulled Eddie into a hug. 

Eddie clung tight to his T-shirt as he cried into his bony chest.

“I worry about you too Eds… all the time.” 

“You do?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, but that's why I want to be with you… to protect you and that’s why you should want to be with me.” 

“I can’t protect you.” Eddie sighed. 

Richie took Eddie’s face in his hands. “What are you talking about? You’ve protected me my whole life.” He said as he kissed the top of Eddie's head. 

Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie’s waist and smiled up at him. 

“I’m safer when you’re by my side telling me not to do stupid things.” Richie said looking down at Eddie. 

“That’s true.” Eddie laughed. “I just don’t want to lose you.” 

“So you break up with me? That’s some logic there Eds… and they say you’re the smart one.” 

“Shut up idiot.” Eddie smiled.

Eddie reached out and grabbed Richie to try to bring their lips together again but Richie pulled away. 

“Nope. I need to hear you say it first.” 

Eddie huffed, frustrated. “Say what?” 

“That you want to be with me and you’re not going to run away again just because you’re a pussy.” 

Eddie frowned. “Richie I’m not saying that.” 

Richie pressed a hot kiss into Eddie’s neck and purposefully pushed his hips against Eddie making Eddie’s half hard on twitch. 

Eddie bit his lip but a small moan still made its way out from the back of his throat. 

“Are you sure?” Richie smiled against his neck. 

Fucking bastard. 

“Yes.” Eddie said shakily. 

Richie shrugged and backed away from Eddie and pressed himself up against the other side of the wall. 

Eddie’s eyes grew wide as he watched Richie take himself out of his pants again. 

Eddie practically drooled at the sight. All those years of Richie making jokes about how big his dick was and it turned out to be true. 

“Richie what… What are you doing?” Eddie said as he looked around nervously. 

“finishing.” Richie said in an uncaring tone. 

Eddie’s face turned red as he watched Richie begin to stroke himself with long and painful strides. 

Eddie was fully hard now. 

He watched as Richie's head went back and he began to breathe heavily and moan. 

It was the most beautiful thing to watch. 

Eddie needed some relief. He started to take himself out of his pants as well but Richie jolted forward and pushed Eddie’s hands against the wall behind him. 

“No touching yourself baby. Not until you say it.”

Eddie looked into Richie’s dark eyes and saw a spark in them. So much danger. The danger he craved. 

Eddie squirmed in Richies grasp. “Please Rich.” 

“Just say it.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and stomped his foot. “Fucking fine asshole! I want to be with you. I shouldn’t have broken up with you but I’m a bitch okay?! Are you fucking happy?!” 

Richie smiled and kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Yes.” 

Eddie hated when Richie was so smug. “You are a di…” Eddie started but was cut off when Richie kissed him again and then slid his hands down to undo Eddie’s pants. 

“Is this okay?” Richie asked breathily.

Eddie just nodded as Richie pulled Eddie out of his pants and began to stroke him. 

Eddie closed his eyes and took in the feeling of Richie’s hands around him. His toes curls with every stroke. 

“How’s that feel?” Richie asked. 

“A little dry.” Eddie breathed. 

Richie smirked at that and Eddie watched as Richie went from towering above him to crouching down on his knees in front of him. 

Richie looked up at Eddie, looking for the okay to go ahead and Eddie just nodded. 

Richie’s attention then went to Eddie’s erection right in front of his face and gently took it in his hand again before kitten licking the head. 

“Fucking shit” Eddie moaned as Richie began to lick up and down his shaft teasingly. 

Eddie moaned and covered his face. He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

“You are going to want to watch this next part baby boy.” Richie laughed devilishly. 

“What?” Eddie breathed out but then was hit with a feeling of pure pleasure as Richie wrapped his lips around Eddie and began to bob up and down. The warm wetness of Richie’s mouth felt incredible around him and Eddie could barely handle it. He wasn't going to last much longer like this. 

Richie grabbed Eddie’s waist and began to move faster. 

Eddie watched with a completely blissed-out expression as Richie moved up and down on him. He looked so pretty like that. 

“Richie… fuck.” Eddie could feel his legs growing weak under him and he had to grab on to Richie’s shoulders to steady himself. It took everything in Eddie not to buck his hips into Richie’s mouth. 

Richie seemed to notice and popped off of Eddie. “Do you want to fuck my mouth Eds?” 

Eddie blinked a couple times in shock. “Don’t call me that… especially when you are saying stuff like that.” He could have died of embarrassment in this surprisingly well lit hallway. 

Richie kissed Eddie’s hip gently. “You don’t have to be embarrassed Eddie. I’ve got you. Just let go.”

Eddie nodded and then took a fist full of Richie’s hair to direct him back. 

Richie smirked at Eddie’s eagerness. “Okay, fuck me then.” Eddie moaned at that. those words sending shivers down his spine and making his stomach flip. 

Richie opened his mouth as wide as he could for Eddie and Eddie wasted no time in grabbing hard at the curls on either side of Richie's head and began thrusting into him. This was the one time Eddie was grateful for Richie’s big mouth. 

Eddie pulled on Richie's hair forcing him aggressively on and off of him. The relentless motions brought tears to Richie’s eyes and made him gag every time Eddie hit the back of his throat.

“Oh yeah Rich. You take it so good.” Eddie praised.

It may have been wrong but he loved seeing Richie like this. It was a new kind of euphoria. Richie didn’t seem to mind it either as he took his own cock in his hand and stroked. 

Eddie wasn’t going to last much longer as he could feel the heat building in his stomach. 

“Richie. Ugh.” He moaned as pure Ecstasy began to take over his brain. 

Richie could tell he was close and sucked in his cheeks and used his tongue to finish him. 

“Richie! Richie! Richie!” Eddie yelled as he squeezed his eyes shut and struggled to stay up right as his whole body began to shake and he came into Richie’s mouth. Richie made sure to suck him through his orgasm and swallow.

Eddie breathed heavily for a moment as he came down from his high. 

Richie pressed kisses into Eddie’s hips and up his stomach until he reached his neck. 

“I would kiss you on the lips but I know you..” Richie started to say but was cut off when Eddie grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a heated kiss. 

“Woah.” Richie said as Eddie pulled back. 

“You are pretty woah yourself.” Eddie smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a smut chapter mostly but yay the boys r back! <3


	10. Haunt // Bed

Eddie and Richie spent the rest of the night doing what they always did. Laughing and fighting about stupid shit. (With the occasional make out session) 

They sat on Richie’s bed, Eddie sitting on one end and Richie on the other and they just talked and listened to the music Richie had picked for them. (Elton john since that was the only thing they could agree on.) 

“No Eds, I swear I would do it.” 

Eddie just gave Richie a disgusted look. “You would really lick a toilet seat for 3 dollars?” He could barely get through the sentence without gagging. 

Richie just hummed at that, shaking his head proudly. “Mmhmm.” 

Eddie felt a chill roll through his body at the horrid thought. “You are truly disgusting Tozier.” 

Richie laughed and then pulled on the front of Eddie’s shirt to pull him in closer. 

“I would lick any part of you for free though Eds.” He said with heavy eyelids and a devilish grin.

Eddie felt his cheeks heat up and he immediately smacked Richie on the arm. “Shut up, idiot.” He said through a smile. 

Eddie began to pull away but Richie just pulled harder on his shirt causing him to fall forward on top of him. Richie leaned back so that Eddie was laying on him now and Eddie didn’t object too much, going limp and pushing his cheek into Richie’s chest. 

Richie looked sweetly down at Eddie. He looked so small compared to him and yet they still fit so perfectly together. 

They entwined their fingers together and Eddie used his free hand to stroke Richie’s side gently. 

Eddie’s attention then went to the room around them. He took in the smell of must and noticed the grey fading wallpaper peeling back in the corners of the room revealing cracks in the wall. 

Richie’s brightly colored things looked like humorously out of place in this old decrepit place. 

“Richie?” Eddie looked up at Richie who was already looking down at him lovingly, making Eddie’s heart skip a beat. He loved how attentive Richie could be to him sometimes. 

“Yes sugarplum?” Richie cooed. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at yet another terrible pet name. “Why did you choose this part of the house to live in? I mean, doesn’t it creep you out?” 

Richie shrugged. “It’s quiet.” 

Eddie furrowed his brow at Richie’s poor excuse. “Richie, there are like a hundred rooms in this house. I’m sure one of the updated ones would be quiet too.” 

Richie unlocked their hands and sat up quickly to go change the music. 

“Well Bev kinda dared me to do it.” 

Eddie sat up on the bed, becoming very suspicious now.

“Why?” Eddie asked through squinted eyes. 

Richie didn’t turn around to look at him and just kept messing with the stereo. 

“What do you wanna listen to Eds?” Richie asked, trying to change the subject. 

Eddie wasn’t having it though. “Richie why?!” He demanded. 

Richie sighed and turned around. “I just don’t want to freak you out.” 

Eddie just stared at him blankly, waiting for the punchline. 

“She said it’s haunted.” Richie mumbled. 

Eddie’s eyes grew wide and he immediately jolted up from the bed and began walking towards the door chanting “nope nope nope.” 

Richie walked after him quickly, cutting him off before he reached the door.

“Richie move. There’s no way I’m staying in here with you. I’ll go hang out with Bev in the non-haunted part of the house.”

“Oh c’mon Eddie it’s not actually haunted. Bev is just trying to scare me.” 

“No it’s definitely haunted.” A voice said out of nowhere making both Richie and Eddie scream. 

Bev laughed at them from the doorway. “Calm down it's just me.” 

The boys both breathed out a sigh of relief. 

“It kinda seems like you might believe it’s haunted Rich… or else why would you scream like a little girl?” Bev snorted. 

Richie rolled his eyes. “Bite me.”

“I would but it looks like Eddie beat me to it.” Bev laughed, pointing at the hickeys on Richie’s neck. “So I’m assuming this means you guys are back together?” 

Eddie and Richie looked at eachother bashfully before Richie swung an arm around Eddie's shoulder. “That’s right Marsh, this catch is off the market. Sorry to break your heart.” 

Bev laughed at that. “We only kissed twice Rich. Doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.” 

Eddie pushed Richie’s arm off of him. “What?! You guys have kissed?!” 

“Just for fun freshman year.” Richie shrugged. “it was nothing.” 

Eddie just put his hands to his face and made a frustrated groan. “Is there anything else that I should know about you?” 

Richie thought for a moment before smiling and then leaning in close to Eddie’s ear. “I love you.” 

Eddie smiled into his hands before uncovering his face and bringing Richie in for a quick, sweet kiss. He wasn’t into PDA but he felt that he needed to confirm to Richie he felt the same. 

Bev rolled her eyes. “Yeah there’s no way I could have ever had a crush on trashmouth. All he ever did was talk about you Eddie.” 

Eddie blushed at that, looking up at Richie fondly.

“Alright are you guys just going to sit around making out all night or are we going to do something?” 

Eddie and Richie broke away from their painfully sappy daze. 

“Okay, I guess we can squeeze you in. But at ten we go back to making out.” Richie said sternly. 

“I’ll be sleeping at ten Richie.” Eddie said. 

Richie grinned. “We’ll see.” 

Eddie shook his head, pretending to be annoyed. “So what do you wanna do Bev? We could watch a movie.” 

Bev pulled her hands out from behind her back and revealed a ouija board. 

Richie’s face lit up and he smiled wickedly at Bev. “Oh hell yeah.” 

Eddie looked at the two of them like they were insane. “No. No way.” 

“Cmon Eddie it’ll be fun.” Richie wined. 

“No Richie. We shouldn’t mess with that stuff.” 

“It’ll be fine. This place isn’t actually haunted.” Richie assured him, looking at Bev for confirmation. “Right Bev? Tell Eddie you were joking.” 

Bev frowned a little at that. “I wish I was joking Richie but I’m not.” 

“What?!” Richie said in disbelief. “How would you know?”

Bev looked around nervously. “Because I saw it… I saw a ghost.” 

Richie kept looking at Bev like she was full of shit but Eddie definitely believed her and tried to leave again. Richie caught him by his shirt and pulled him back though. 

“Eddie baby. It’s okay, I’ll protect you.” Richie said as he pulled Eddie tight against him. 

Eddie tried to wiggle out of his arms. “No Richie. Let go.” 

Richie finally let go and sighed as Eddie started to bolt down the hallway. “Okay… I guess no one will be here to save me from the ghost.” 

Eddie slowed down a bit at that. 

Richie let out an even more dramatic sigh. “If only I had a boyfriend who cared enough to protect me… oh well. I guess I’ll die alone and unloved.” Richie fell limp into Bev’s arms. 

“Richie, Knock it off.” Bev said dropping the overdramatic boy on the ground with a loud thump.

Eddie had stopped walking now and rolled his eyes. “Idiot.” He whispered under his breath. He wasn’t sure if he was talking about Richie or himself for what he was about to do. 

“Fine. I’ll stay. But if anything even remotely scary happens I’m out.” Eddie said turning around and walking back towards them. 

Richie got up from off the floor and smiled. Success. 

“Why do the lights have to be off?” Eddie asked nervously as they sat in the center of Richies bedroom. 

“Because ghosts like the dark Eddie.” Richie said as if it were an obvious fact. 

Bev quickly shushed them as she placed the board between them and set a flashlight on the ground to be their light.

“Okay, now put two fingers lightly on the planchette.” 

Eddie and Richie both looked at each other before doing as she said. 

“Now what?” Eddie gulped. 

“Now we ask it a question.” 

“Oh I got it!” Richie exclaimed excitedly and then closed his eyes. “Does Eddie think I’m hot?” 

Eddie gave Richie an annoyed look. 

“Richie, we have to ask it serious questions.” Bev scolded. 

Richie pouted. “That was serious.” 

“I’ll do it.” Bev said, shaking her head and closing her eyes to concentrate. “Is anyone here with us?” She asked. 

They waited a moment before they all felt the planchet move slowly across the board. 

Eddie immediately freaked out and ripped his hands away. “Guys! Guys!” He yelled.

“Eddie! No! You have to keep your hands on!” Bev yelled at him and Eddie put his hands back warily. 

The planchet finally made it over to the Yes. 

Richie looked over at Bev. “I know you are moving it.”

“Richie I’m not I swear!” 

“Sure.” He said, unbelieving. 

Bev just ignored him and asked her next question. “What do you want?” She asked shakily. 

The planchet began moving again very slowly. 

“Richie, I’m scared.” Eddie whispered.

Richie looked over at him. Using his free hand to hold Eddie’s. “Don’t be Eds. It’s just Bev.” 

The planchet stopped at R and then began moving up to the I. Richie watched as it then made its way across to the C. 

“Bev stop. This isn’t funny.” Richie said now starting to breathe heavily. 

Bev just stared at the board. “Rich…” she breathed.

H......I......E.

“Richie.” Eddie said aloud. Now fully shaking. 

Richie sat with wide eyes before taking his fingers off of the planchet and stood up quickly. “No. You are doing this!” He pointed at Bev. 

Before Bev could protest his accusations the flashlight turned off leaving them in complete darkness. 

Eddie screamed and stood up, reaching for Richie, basically climbing his body when he got ahold of him. 

The bedroom door then opened and closed quickly making a loud crash. 

“What the fuck is going on?!” Richie demanded. 

As he said that the stereo turned on, making a loud static noise. 

Eddie held tight to Richie, burying his face in his chest. “Richie!” He yelled, now holding back tears. 

Richie held tightly to Eddie and rubbed his back. “Bev stop it! You’re scaring Eddie!” 

Neither of them could see anything and jumped when they heard Bev laughing in a corner of the room they hadn’t known she’d gone. 

“Bev?!” Richie called out, but she just kept laughing hysterically. 

Richie took Eddie by the hand and started to run towards the small bit of light coming in through the cracks of the door. 

“She’s lost it! Let’s get the hell out of here!” Richie yelled, dragging Eddie behind him. 

They pulled the door open and stepped into the hallway where the lights began flickering on and off sporadically. 

“Cmon Eddie! This way!” Richie pointed down one part of the hallway and started to run. Before they could reach the end of the seemingly never ending hallway, a dark figure crawled out on all fours from behind a wall. 

The lights now flicked to darkness longer, only flickering fully on once in a while, making the figure look even more distorted. 

Eddie and Richie both froze.

“What the fuck is that?! What the fuck is that?!” Eddie screamed, making bruises on Richie’s arm from holding so tight. 

Richie was silent as he watched the figure twitch and bend strangely. It stood up slowly and paused when it was up right before breaking into a full on sprint after them. 

“Eddie fucking run!” Richie yelled as he pushed Eddie away. 

Eddie wanted to run but his feet wouldn’t move away from Richie. 

“Eddie What the hell?! Go!” Richie demanded. 

Eddie watched with wide eyes as the figure reached Richie and pulled him back. 

“Get the fuck off of me!” Richie yelled as he wrestled with it. 

“Richie!” Eddie yelled in horror. 

Richie struggled in the figures grip and felt it’s breath on his neck. He then heard a small voice in his ear. “Your move.” It said. 

“What the fuck? Ben?” Richie said in shock when he recognized the voice. 

All of sudden the lights stopped flickering to reveal that it was only Ben in a big trench coat and ski mask. 

“Wha...what?!” Richie yelled. 

They all turned to hear bev laughing down the hall. This time less crazy and more satisfied. 

“Oh my god you should have seen Your guys' faces!” She laughed as she held her sides.

“Ben how could you?!” Richie said, appalled by his sweet friends behavior. 

“Sorry Rich… but you had it coming.” 

“Yeah.” Bev chimed in. “That’s what you get for filling my backpack with pudding!” 

“That was funny!” Richie insisted. “This was just mean.” Richie tried to act mad but this was a pretty good prank. 

Ben stood and helped Richie off from the ground. 

Richie looked at Eddie who was still shaken up. “Look what you did to my hunny bunny!” Richie yelled as he leaped over to his love to wrap him in a comforting embrace. 

“It’s fine Richie.” Eddie breathed. “It was kind of funny… I guess.” 

Richie ignored him. “Apologize to him!” Richie insisted. “He was innocent!”

Ben and Bev both rolled their eyes. 

Ben just assumed Richie was being overprotective of Eddie, as always. 

“Sorry Eddie, I would have let you in on it but I know you would have just told Richie.” Bev said. 

Eddie opened his mouth to protest but then stopped when he realized she was probably right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was in a spooky mood so enjoy this slightly spooky little chapter. <3


	11. This Must Be My Dream

After much convincing by Richie and countless times checking under the bed and in the closet, Eddie decided he would stay in Richie’s room for the night. 

“Eddie I promise the only monster in this room is my monster co…” 

“Richie!” Eddie yelled, not letting him finish that sentence. 

Richie immediately snuggled into Eddie when he laid beside him, wrapping his arms and legs around him from behind. 

“I can’t breathe Richie.” Eddie wheezed.

“Sorry Eds you’re just so cute.” Richie said as he loosened his grip. “Plus I can't have you trying to run away from me again.” 

Eddie laughed at that. “I swear you are part boa constrictor.” 

Richie hissed in Eddie’s ear at that, sending a prickling shiver through his neck and down his back. 

Eddie turned his head slightly to look at him. “Hey Chee?” 

“Mmmhhmm?” Richie hummed in acknowledgment. 

“What we did earlier... was I… I mean... was it okay?” 

Richie blinked a few times. “What do you mean?” 

“Well it’s just I know you have been with some pretty girls before and I know I’m not like them.” Eddie sighed. “I just want to make sure it was… Um… good for you?” Eddie couldn’t help himself but ask. His insecurities were creeping up on him. 

Richie didn’t say anything for a moment making Eddie more nervous until he felt the heat of Richie’s breath on the back of his neck as he laughed. 

“Did I like blowing you?! Is that what you are asking me Eds?!” 

Eddie groaned loudly. “Just forget it Richie!” 

Richie stopped himself from laughing when he saw how bashful Eddie was being and he wanted to reassure him and to make sure he knew how special it was to him too. 

“No Eds, I’m sorry. It was good for me yeah. I loved being so close to you in that way. You are so goddamn sexy.” 

Even though Eddie was facing away from Richie he still felt the need to bury his blushing face in the pillows to hide his embarrassment. 

“Richie.” He mumbled. Half scolding and half filled with need and want from hearing Richie call him that. Richie was the only one who had ever made him, little dorky Eddie, feel sexy. 

Richie lifted Eddie’s shirt and began to press soft kisses up his spine. He made his way up to Eddie’s neck and then stopped at his ear to breath teasingly. 

“I want to be even closer.” He whispered. 

Richie trailed his hand up the back of Eddie’s thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind and then stopped just before his hand met Eddie’s ass that was peeking out through his little night shorts. The feeling made Eddie’s breath hitch. Eddie couldn’t help but squirm a little, wishing that Richie’s hands would keep moving up, to meet his wanting skin. But instead they wrapped around his waist and he felt Richie press his hips into him. 

Eddie let out a small moan as he felt Richie grind lightly into his ass. Teasing the thought of them being so connected. 

“You’d like that too… wouldn’t you Eds?” Richie bit softly at Eddie’s ear. 

Eddie reached down and grabbed at Richie’s hand that was around his waist and squeezed. “Chee… slow.” Is all he could manage to get out. 

Richie ceased his slow, painful movements and kissed Eddie’s neck. “Sorry baby. It’s just hard for me to keep my hands off of you… especially now since I’ve had a taste.” 

Eddie bit his lip so hard he thought he might break skin. He wondered if Richie knew what he was doing to him... He probably did. 

“I do want more with you Rich... I’m just nervous, okay?” 

Richie hummed and pressed hot kisses into the back of his neck. “Is this okay?” He asked between kisses. 

“Mmhmm.” Eddie answered, completely enthralled in the feeling of Richie’s lips on his skin. His body seemed to be so sensitive to Richie's touch. Every light touch or feeling of his breath on his skin was sending shivers through his whole being. 

Richie let the tips of his fingers slip under the waistband of Eddie’s shorts. 

Richie and Eddie both gasped a little at the feeling and Richie let out a hot needy breath when he was met with nothing but the soft warmth of Eddie’s bare skin and he realized that Eddie wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

“Shit… Eddie. You’re going to kill me.” He moaned. 

Eddie pressed into Richie’s touch and turned his head so that their lips were almost touching. 

Richie reached his hand further into Eddie’s shorts. 

“Too fast?” Richie asked before going any further. 

Eddie shook his head quickly, probably looking more desperate than he’d meant to. He leaned forward to connect their lips in a frenzied mess of sloppy lust sticking his tongue into Richie's mouth. 

Richie yelped a little in surprise at Eddie's forwardness and took it as an okay to do more so Richie plunged his hand fully forward into Eddie's shorts and wrapped his hand around Eddie, causing him to moan into Richie’s mouth. 

“Richie.” 

Richie began to stroke him slowly and teasingly. “Slow enough for you baby?” Richie asked cheekily. 

Eddie wanted to kill him for being so smug… but instead he just breathed “faster… please Rich… faster.” He couldn’t help but become putty in Richie’s hands. 

Richie could feel Eddie’s hard cock become slick with his own precum as he picked up the pace.

“Does that feel good baby?” Richie moaned. “Wanna make you feel good.” 

Eddie moaned and nodded. “Yes Rich. so good.” 

Eddie moved his hand that was resting on the back of Richie's neck and brought it down his body until it was resting over the hard on in his sweats. 

“Ed’s…” Richie moaned as Eddie pawed at him. 

“Wanna make you feel good too.” Eddie breathed out, trying to sound as confident as possible even though he didn't really know what he was doing... He had no idea how Richie was just doing it, without thinking. He was just so sure. Eddie had barley ever done this to himself let alone another person. 

Eddie lifted his hand slightly until he was playing with the bit of hair on Richie's stomach that was peaking out of the top of his boxers waistband. Eddie teased him there for a moment, loving how sensitive Richie seemed to be for him too. Making all the amazing noises that Eddie loved to pull out of him. Eddie finally Pulled down Richie's pants and boxers slowly until his erection popped out, hitting Richie in the abdomen, making him shutter as the cold air hit him. 

Eddie immediately took Richie in his hands and began to stroke him too. 

“Holy shit Eddie.” 

“Am I doing it right?” Eddie asked bashfully. 

Richie just bit his lip and nodded. “Fucking perfect.” 

Eddie relished the way Richie moaned and squirmed in his hands. He couldn’t even focus on Richie's hands on him anymore when he was doing this to him. He began to understand why Richie liked to tease him so much. 

Eddie moved at an unrelenting pace, loving the reactions he was getting from Richie. The hot breathy moans, the lip biting. The feeling of Richie’s large cock in his hand, pink and spilling with precum all over Eddie’s hand. It should have been gross but it wasn’t, it made him feel dirty in a whole new way. Eddie felt the warmth in his stomach turn into something dangerous as he watched Richie thrust into his hand. But he didn’t want to cum yet. He wanted Richie to get off first. 

“Richie, C'mon. Cum for me.” He breathed into his ear. It was Eddie's first real try at dirty talk and he was surprised to find it made his own lust and heat grow stronger. 

Richie liked it too, his mind seemingly breaking a little when Eddie talked to him like that. His eyes glossed over in a haze of lust. 

“Ed’s…I’m… I’m gunna…” 

Richie tried to keep up the speed of his own hand on Eddie but was falling victim to Eddie’s touch, his body wanting to go limp. 

“That’s it baby.” Eddie spoke softly. “Be a good boy.” 

Richie was going to lose it fast, and good thing too because Eddie didn’t know how much longer he was going to last. 

Richie thrusted a few more times into Eddie’s hand before his body began to convulse suddenly as he came into Eddie’s hand and front of his shirt. 

“Oh fuck.” Richie breathed.

“Oh yeah Richie. So good.” 

Eddie threw his head back and began to cum too. The sight of Richie cumming sending him over the edge. He spilled onto his pants and into Richie’s hand that was still around him.

"Richie... oh god. Rich. Richie." He said like a mantra as Richie kissed at his collar bones and neck through his orgasm. 

When they both came down from their high they spent a moment staring at each other, taking in all that had just happened. their loving eyes slowly turned into laughs. 

"why the fuck are you laughing?" Eddie asked between his own laughter. 

"Because, this is just so crazy... Us." 

"you are just now realizing this?!" Eddie snorted. 

"Yes!... I guess having you jerk me off was the thing to tell me that this is really happening... that you are here and you like me." 

Eddie just shook his head and kissed Richie. "I love you, you big idiot." 

Richie smiled as wide as ever at that and they laid there for a moment more, taking in the craziness together before Eddie couldn't take the sticky mess anymore and made them get up to clean themselves up before going to bed. 

Eddie was the first to wake up, as always. He looked at Richie laying beside him, sprawled out with his curls laying a mess on the pillow and his mouth opened slightly. 

Before, Eddie would always avoid staring at Richie while he slept. It made him feel guilty to look at his best friend in such an intimate way. But it was different now. Richie was his boyfriend. 

Eddie let himself watch unabashed as Richie’s chest rose and fell with each breath he took and looked at every excruciating detail of his face while he could before he woke up and ruined his blissful state with his normal over the top, awake self. 

Eddie also took this newfound freedom to take it one step further and reach out and touch him. He gently took his cheek in his hand and stroked his skin with his thumb. 

Richie began to stir at that, mumbling nonsense. 

“Don’t... No… Stop.” Richie mumbled as he began to thrash around. 

Eddie put a hand to Richie's chest and rubbed soothingly. “Rich hey… it’s okay. Wake up.” He spoke softly. 

Richie opened his eyes with a loud breath and sprung up. 

Eddie sat up too and placed his chin on Richie’s shoulder. “Nightmare?” He asked. It wasn't uncommon for Richie to have nightmares... he'd been having them ever since that horrible summer years ago. 

Richie just nodded and then turned his head to look at Eddie. He seemed to just take him in for a second before moving forward and planting a kiss on his forehead. “I love you.” He said softly. 

Eddie smiled at him sweetly. “I love you too Rich.” 

Richie slipped out of the bed and stretched his back and arms with a loud crack. 

Eddie cringed. “Ugh… you know I hate that.” 

Richie laughed at him and then got strangely serious. "You know what else I know you hate?" he said mischievously. 

"Richie what are you doing?!" Eddie questioned as Richie continued to walk tauntingly slow towards him, making scary music sounds as he walked. 

"Richie!" Eddie screeched as Richie lunged forward and began to tickle Eddie's sides. 

"No! Richie stop!" Eddie yelled. "I WILL kick you!" 

"hmm intriguing, but I think there's a better way to get me to stop..." Richie said as he leaned down to press their lips together. 

"Ew Richie, you haven't brushed your tee.." Eddie started to say, but as soon as their lips collided it didn't seem to matter and he melted into it.   
They continued to kiss for a moment, Richie's hands still lingering at Eddie's sides before they heard a sudden jumble of loud voices coming towards them from down the hall and they pulled apart. 

“How could you not know he wasn’t supposed to be here?! What kind of guardian are you?!” A voice yelled. 

Richie and Eddie immediately looked at each other, their expressions matched in equal terror. 

The door swung open with a loud, dramatic thud and Eddie and Richie flew away from each other when they saw the one, the only, Sonia Kaspbrak come stomping through the door. 

She let out a loud gasp. “I knew it! I knew it!” she yelled as she walked hastily towards Eddie. “I knew this boy was a bad influence! He has you lying to me Eddie!” Sonia yelled, pointing at Richie. 

Sonia took Eddie by the arm and began to pull him out of the room like a child who had misbehaved. 

“We are going home right now!” 

Eddie looked back at Richie, apologizing to him with his eyes and Richie just looked back at him sympathetically. He wished that he could just tell Sonia to back the hell off and rescue Eddie from her, but he knew it would only make things worse for Eddie so he just stayed quiet. 

Molly caught her arm before she bolted out of the room. "I'm very sorry, Sonia was it? Next time I promise I will make sure hes had permission to come... but don't blame Richie. Hes a good kid." 

Sonia let out a malicious laugh. "I'm sorry, how long have you known him for?" She asked. 

"Long enough to know hes a great young man." Molly said smiling at Richie who was standing a ways behind them.

Sonia just shook her head. "Well I've known him for a VERY long time... And I can tell you that he is NOT a great young man! He is a MENACE putting bad thoughts into my Eddie's head!" 

"Ma!" Eddie yelled, unable to just let her say such bad things about Richie. "Stop!" 

"You see?!" Sonia said as she continued to pull Eddie down the hallway and out of the house. 

Richie watched out his window as Sonia drove away with Eddie. He hated Sonia kaspbrak... how could someone like her ever be responsible for creating someone as amazing as Eddie? 

Aunt Molly came up from behind him and put a gentle hand on his back. "You are a great friend sweetheart. don't let that woman get to you." 

Richie felt himself be a little confused by the affection. Her words were simple enough, but they were so different from anything any adult had ever said to him before. 

He turned towards her and gave her a quick hug. Quick enough that he wouldn't embarrass himself by crying. "thanks for sticking up for me." He said as she hugged him back. 

Eddie's mom ranted on and on the whole way home about how worried she is about Eddie's behavior and how it was all Richie's fault. A tune he knew all too well from the many years of hearing it. 

“I just think you need to stop spending so much time with that Tozier boy. He’s been a bad influence from the start... hes even got sweet Bill lying.” 

Eddie just rolled his eyes. "Ma, its not his fault. I'm the one who lied to you." 

"Yes Eddie, but you wouldn't have if he wasn't around coercing you into it." 

Eddie let out an exasperated sigh. there was no point in arguing the matter with her. Bill and Stan had grown on Sonia over the years but the rest of losers were nothing but filthy, scheming heathens in her eyes... Richie being the worst of them. Eddie could only imagine the repercussions of her ever finding out the truth about them. 

“I’ve been hearing some things about him too… and you don’t want to be associated with that sort of thing Eddie.” 

Eddie’s stomach dropped at that. “What sort of things Ma?” 

Sonia stayed quiet for a moment, ultimately deciding against bringing the subject up. “And now he’s living with that Marsh girl. It’s just crazy... Running away from his parents like that.” 

“They were abusive ma.” Eddie pointed out.

He saw no sympathy in his mother’s eyes at that. "Well can you blame them? If I had a son like that I may need to resort to more extreme measures too." 

Eddie just shook his head in disbelief. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong and that she was talking about the boy he LOVED... Who has been there for him through everything... Who took care of him better than she ever could. But he didn't. He just stayed quiet. 

The car was silent for a moment. Only the sound of Sonia's gospel tape in the background filling the void.

Sonia finally sighed. "I don't want to upset you Eddie-bear... I just think a little time away from that boy will do you good."

Eddie refused to talk. just shaking his head and looking out the window. 

"Also, I have a little surprise for you." 

Eddie looked over at her... this couldn't be good. 

Sonia smiled at getting her son's attention. "you know Katelyn? Gale's daughter from church?" 

"yeah..." Eddie said warily.

"Well Gale and I thought you two would be just perfect together... So we set up a little date next Saturday for you two!" She said giddily.

"What?! NO!" Eddie choked out. 

"Oh Eddie sweetheart you'll be great, there's no need to be nervous. Shes a great girl. She stays out of trouble and does great in school... a catholic school." 

Eddie put his hands to his face to hide his frustration and tried desperately to think of a way out of it but there was nothing he could come up with that didn't scream GAY.

"Okay Ma, whatever you say." 

That night Eddie called Richie as soon as his mom fell asleep so he could explain his situation. He knew Richie wouldn't be okay with it and partially expected the melodramatic boy to start yelling or do something stupid.

Eddie was surprised when Richie was silent after he was done telling him about his "date." 

"Rich?" Eddie finally said when he started to wonder if the phone had cut out or Richie had hung up. 

“What's she look like?” Richie finally asked. 

Eddie thought for a moment, not knowing what the right thing to say was. “Well… she’s blonde.” Eddie started. 

“Mhhmmm.” Richie noted so Eddie would continue.

“And she’s kind of short… a little shorter than me I think.” 

“She sounds pretty.” Richie huffed out. 

Eddie smiled through the phone at his jealous boyfriend and rolled his eyes. “Not as pretty as you.” He assured him. 

Richie couldn’t help but smile a little at that. 

“C'mon Rich, you know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to.” 

Richie’s smile faded as he thought again about Eddie going on a date with someone else, especially since it was something he couldn't even do with him. Something so simple. “You don’t have to.” He said softly. 

Eddie’s sighed at that. “Yes I do. You know that Richie.” 

“Or maybe you should just grow a pear and tell your mom.” Richie yell-whispered. 

Eddie was taken aback a little at Richie’s harsh comment.

“Oh, like you did when Joey wanted you to sleep with him to pay off your debt?!” Eddie said accusingly. 

Richie rolled his eyes and through his lanky arms in the air. “That was life or death Eddie! This is completely different!” 

“I’m not sleeping with her! We are just going on a date! Nothing is going to happen!” 

Richie scoffed into the phone. "You don't know that! what if shes all perky and pretty and good... like you... and you fall in love." 

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "Rich, I don't swing both ways like you do." 

"But she could change that." Richie pressed.

"No... no i'm pretty sure i'm like a thousand percent into boys... well... boy." 

Richie felt the smile forced back on his face at that. "Aw... My spaghetti loves me." 

Eddie rolled his eyes at the nickname. "yeah... I really do you asshole. So can you stop being so jealous and realize that I have to do this to appease my mother? Especially if we ever want to hang out again." 

Richie thought for a moment before huffing out "Sure." 

Eddie sighed in relief but in the back of his head he knew Richie wasn't going to let this go.


	12. Frail State of Mind

After school on Friday Bev and Richie came home to a grocery list on the door and a note from Aunt Molly, asking them to go pick the stuff up for her because she was swamped at work. 

Bev groaned. "cant you just go by yourself Rich? I'm not feeling up for it." She rubbed the bruise on her elbow she had gotten from Greta Bowie pushing her down in gym earlier.

"What?! No way." Richie said as he entwined their arms together and pulled her back to his truck. “The grocery store is awesome! It'll put you in a better mood for sure.”

Bev gave him a weird look. "No offense Rich but you have the strangest perspective of the world... How is a grocery store fun?" 

"I didn't say a grocery store by itself was fun... but with me, that's a different story." 

bev laughed at that. "Oh no... Should I be scared?" 

Richie turned the key and started the truck up. "Definitely." he smirked. 

Bev was quiet as they drove and Richie couldn't stand how quiet it was. Bev and Richie were a lot of things when they were together... adventurous, mischievous, silly... but they were NEVER quiet. Greta must have really gotten to her today. 

Richie thought about how to go about cheering her up when he suddenly tuned into the song that was playing on his mix-tape and smiled as he turned it up to almost full blast. 

“God knows... god knows I’ve fallen in love.” Freddie Mercury’s voice flooded the car. Richie turned to Bev, knowing full well she could never resist a queen song. 

She turned to him slowly, half annoyed but started to sing along, loudly and off key. 

“IT'S STRANGE BUT IT'S TRUE! HEY! I CAN'T GET OVER THE WAY YOU LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO!” 

Richie was flying all over the road as they sang, heads pounding and arms flailing. A guy honked at Richie and shouted something at him as he passed which only made Richie laugh and sing louder. 

“SO BABY CAN'T YOU SEE?! I'VE GOT TO BREAK FREE!” 

They jammed the rest of the ride there and it seemed to put Bev in better spirits... and how could it not? Richie Tozier and Freddie Mercury together made for a magical combo. 

Bev walked quickly through the store, grabbing what they needed so they could get done as fast as possible. Meanwhile, Richie was dragging his feet behind her, making terrible food puns every five minutes. 

"Hey Bev, what do you call a fake noodle?" 

Bev rolled her eyes as she placed the box of mac n cheese in their cart. "I don't know Rich... what do you call it?" 

"An impasta!" 

Bev shook her head and kept walking. 

"Oh c'mon! You know that was eggcellent!" Richie said as he wiggled his eyebrows at her and picked up a carton of eggs, which Bev just took out of his hands and put back. 

"Eggs aren't on the list. focus Rich." 

Richie walked sorrowfully behind her as she kept walking. He looked down at the meats as they passed and couldn't help himself, he lifted the package of bacon to his face and stepped in front of Bev, making a pouty face. "You're bacon my heart." 

Bev couldn't help but let a small smirk appear on her lips. "Damn it Rich, you're an idiot!" She said as she playfully hit his shoulder. 

As they laughed a group of girls from their school walked past them, one of them being Greta, saying "Slut." as she walked by.

Bev stopped laughing and looked at them as they passed. Her face went blank, a mixture of hurt and familiarity 

“Hey Greta, tell Greg I said hi, won’t you?” Richie called out coyly. He was referring to their English teacher Mr. Taylor who she had been rumored to be getting pretty cozy with. 

Greta looked around at her entourage, embarrassed as her logic of calling Bev a slut for hanging out with Richie crumbled. She rolled her eyes and tried to just wave Richie off, but defeat sat apparent on her face. 

“Thanks Rich.” Bev said smiling sadly at him. “Maybe if I hung out with more girls people wouldn’t think I was such a slut.” 

Richie furrowed his brow at her. He hated to see the fire in her burn out. 

"We need apples." She said as she continued on. 

Richie grabbed a bag and started putting the apples in when he suddenly looked down at the round fruits in his hands and got a great idea. He shoved the apples into his shirt and puffed out his chest. “Oh bevvie!” He sang when he turned around. 

Bev let out a loud laugh and covered her mouth when she saw him. “Oh my god Rich!”

“It’s Richelle to you.” He said in a high pitched voice. 

A few people gave the boy a dirty look as they passed, but he didn’t care... seeing Bev smile was worth it. 

Richie definitely made a spectacle of himself as he walked back and forth swaying his hips dramatically and saying things like. “Don't be jealous that I’m prettier than you Bev.” 

Richie watched happily as Bev clutched her sides and keeled over laughing at him. “Rich stop, oh my god you are so embarrassing.” 

He continued to act a fool when Bev suddenly stood up straight and had a funny look on her face. 

Richie turned around to see what she was looking at and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Mrs Kaspbrak and Eddie standing behind him. 

He stood frozen, the apples still in his shirt. One was hanging humorously lower than the other, making him look even more ridiculous. Mrs. Kaspbrak gave Richie possibly the dirtiest look ever given to anybody in the history of dirty looks and Eddie just stood behind her, forehead pressed hard into the palm of his hand... Richie could almost hear his internal screaming. 

Richie and Mrs Kaspbrak stood in a staring match for a moment and he thought she would say something but eventually she just rolled her eyes and kept walking, nose pointed in the air. "Come Eddie." She said. 

“One second Ma.” Eddie said as he hurriedly walked over to Richie. 

Richie opened his mouth to explain but before he could Eddie put a hand up. “I don't even want to know.” He said as he looked down at the apples. 

Richie took them out and put them into the bag.

“Fancy seeing you here… You come here often sweet cheeks?” Richie said, leaning down and wiggling his eyebrows at Eddie. 

Eddie scoffed. “Richie, my mom is right over there!” 

Richie just shrugged at that and stood up straight. Sonia kaspbrak was the biggest cock block ever. 

“I just wanted to remind you that I have that… thing… tomorrow.” 

Richie looked at Eddie through the small slits that his eyes had become now. “You mean your date?” 

“Yeah… I just… I need you to promise you aren't going to do anything stupid. Okay?” 

Richie tapped on his chin. “Hmmm… so I can’t throw a stink bomb into the fancy restaurant you two are probably eating at?” 

Eddie’s pinched up at that. “What?! No!” He yelled but then lowered his voice when he remembered his mom was watching from not too far away. “We aren't even going to a fancy restaurant… our moms are dropping us off at the mall.” 

Richie groaned. "So you are really doing it? You are really going to go on a date... with someone who's not me." 

Eddie was suddenly punched with more guilt than he already felt when he saw how sad Richie looked. 

"Richie, I'm sorry. Trust me when I say that I really REALLY don't want to." Eddie looked around nervously before continuing. "I love you."

Richie sighed at hearing those words. "Me too... that's why I should be the one wine and dining you." 

"Again, not going to a restaurant... and someday you will be. But right now this is just something we have to deal with." 

Richie forced a small smile at that for Eddie's sake and Eddie returned it, feeling a little better about everything. 

"I have to go now." Eddie said as he gave Richie one last glance and waved to Bev. 

“This isn’t a good idea.” Bev said, shaking her head as she watched the stubborn boy slip on his sneakers. 

Richie just waved her off. “Oh Bev. What could possibly be wrong with me spying on my boyfriend on his fake date?” 

“Do you really want me to answer that?” 

“I'm only going to watch from a distance… for Eddie’s protection.” 

“Sure…” Bev said crossing her arms. 

“And I’ll only poison her if it’s absolutely necessary.” 

“RICHIE!” 

“What?” He said in a casual tone. “I said ONLY if it’s absolutely necessary!” 

“And what exactly would you deem a necessary reason to poison her?” 

“I don’t know… if she were to make sexual advances towards my Eds… I might be forced to get rid of her.” 

Bev smacked her head down into her hand. “Richie, you can’t just say stuff like that and expect me to let you go… Eddie told you to stay away. He’s got this, okay?”

“Bev I’m only joking. I’m not really going to poison her. I just need to go.” Richie said as he put his coat on and started to look around for his keys that he usually left on the counter. “Bev, where are my keys?” 

Richie watched as Bev started to sway back and forth guiltily. “Why do you have to go?” She asked, not looking at him. “Don’t you trust him?” 

Richie ignored the question, now becoming angry. “Did you take my keys?” He stepped towards her. 

“Richie I’m trying to help you. You always act impulsively. I heard you promise Eddie you wouldn’t go so I don’t think you should... It’s a bad Idea.”

“It’s not your decision Bev! Now where are my freaking keys?!” He said now desperately trying to grab at her pockets to which she just jolted away. 

“Why do you need to go?!” She yelled. 

“WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BITCH?!” He yelled back and immediately regretted it when he saw Bev’s face. “Bev I’m sorry I didn’t mean that I just…” he started, but then Aunt Molly walked out. 

“What is going on in here?!” She yelled and then directed her attention to Richie. “We don’t use that kind of language in this house young man… I thought you were better than that.” 

Richie suddenly felt the cold sting of disappointment jolt him back. It was a feeling he knew all too well but hadn’t felt in a while. It was back with a vengeance now, looking into Aunt Molly’s angry eyes. 

He looked between her and his hurt best friend and knew he fucked up. 

Bev reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out Richie’s keys and handed them to him, which he took reluctantly. 

“Here. I hope you know what you are doing.” She said before turning around and leaving the room.

Richie just stood there for a minute, grasping the keys that he had wanted so desperately a minute ago, but now it suddenly didn’t seem worth it. The small keys felt heavier now. Everything did. 

Bev was right, he did act impulsively and said things he didn’t mean. Maybe he shouldn’t go... but now Aunt Molly was just staring at him like he was some kind of parasite, invading her home. So, he left anyways. “I’m sorry.” Slipping quietly out of his mouth as he did. 

When he got to the mall he had to slap himself out of his slump. He would patch things up with Bev and her aunt later… but right now he had one mission and one mission only… to stop Eddie from falling in love with some perfect preppy girl version of himself. 

It took him awhile but he finally found them. 

He followed them closely as they went from store to store, careful to not get caught. 

He watched as they laughed and talked about who knows what. He couldn’t get close enough to hear them. He tried reading their lips but he didn't think he was deciphering it right because he was pretty sure she wasn’t telling Eddie that her banana lipstick made her dog mad at her… maybe… but probably not. Whatever she was saying though was making Eddie laugh. It wasn’t even the fake laugh either that Eddie sometimes did when he was uncomfortable… it was the real deal and Richie felt the pang of jealousy brewing deep within him.

“Pshhh there’s no way she’s funnier than I am.” He whispered to himself from behind a rack of clothes. He looked around at the large, furry woman’s coats he squeezed himself between and laughed a little at his predicament. “Yeah there’s no way.” He smirked. 

He continued to watch them and realized that Eddie was starting to sense him somehow and he started to stay back a little further. 

Eddie couldn’t place it but he felt like he was being watched and every so often he thought he saw curly black hair at the corner of his eye, but when he looked there was no one there. 

Richie followed them to the food court, becoming a little tired of this charade and having to duck down every time Eddie turned his way. Which was a lot. He started to wonder if Eddie really did have a sixth sense. 

“I can see Richies.” He laughed to himself. 

Eddie and Katelyn sat down at a table after getting some food and Richie watched for a minute but was thinking about leaving, having seen enough to know everything was mostly fine and Eddie could handle it. Just as he was about to leave from his seat, he saw Katelyn grab Eddie’s hands on top of the table. 

Richie felt his face get hot and it took everything in him not to reveal himself and break up whatever was going on. He continued to stare at their touching hands from across the food court. Hoping the heat of his anger would burn them. 

“Tozier?” A voice suddenly said and Richie snapped out of it. He turned his head to see Henry Bowers and his gang standing there. 

Oh great. 

He hadn’t seen much of Henry since he dropped out a few years back along with his gang of assholes. 

“What the fuck are you doing here princess?” Henry smirked and looked over at Eddie. “Spying on your little boyfriend?” 

Richie rolled his eyes. “No Bowers, I'm actually here to meet your mom. I told her it was only a one time thing but she just can’t get enough.” 

Henry frowned at that. “You think you’re so fucking funny don’t you?” 

Richie shrugged, looking pretty pleased with himself, only making Henry angrier. He watched Henry’s fist twitch a little but Patrick put a hand on his shoulder and whispered something in his ear, making Henry’s fist relax a little. 

“Listen, it’s actually a good thing you are here. We’ve been lookin for you.” 

“Gee, the Bowers gang has been lookin for me?! What could I have done to deserve such an honor?!” Richie said in his southern bell voice. 

Henry rolled his eyes at him. “We’ve been driving past your parents place but you were never there.” 

“Nope. Don’t live there anymore.” 

“We know. You’ve been living with Beverly Marsh and her aunt in that big ass house. How the fuck did you score that?” 

“All the ladies love me.” Richie said as if it were obvious. 

“Well we wanted to talk to you about…” Henry lowered his voice. “About dealing.” 

Richie's face turned serious at that. “How did you know about that?” 

Henry looked around carefully and slid his backpack of his shoulder to unzip it and reveal his stash to Richie. 

“We deal too.” 

“You work for Joey?” Richie frowned. 

“What?! Fuck no! We would never work for that little fairy. We heard about what he does to the boys who work for him…” 

Richie shifted a little uncomfortably. 

“We work for someone else… someone a lot better.” Henry and Patrick looked at each other knowingly. 

“I doubt that if they let you lot in.” Richie smirked. “And what the hell does this have to do with me anyways? I don’t deal anymore.” 

Henry looked at the rest of his posse, seemingly trying to get out of this next part. “Well we heard you are good… you brought on a lot of new business for Joey and our boss wants you.” He said as if it were painful to compliment Richie. "He told us it was our job to recruit you since we kind of know each other or whatever." 

Richie fake thought about it, tapping his chin. “Hmmmm… no thanks.” He said, starting to get up.

Henry pushed him back down aggressively. “Don’t be an idiot Trashmouth! You can’t live off of Marsh forever and our boss will pay you big money to do this.” 

Richie pushed Henry’s hands off of him. “I told you, I don’t deal anymore.” He looked over at Eddie and Katelyn who were still holding hands. Katelyn was looking at Eddie with a soft little smile that made Richie’s heart brake. 

Henry looked over at what was catching Richie’s attention. “Because of him?” He asked, annoyed. “You are an idiot if you are going to give up something you are good at just to keep someone around who obviously isn’t interested.” 

Richie looked at Henry and then at Eddie again. 

“We both know you aren't good at much and it’s only a matter of time before Marsh and her aunt get tired of your big mouth and you're out on the streets.” 

“Shut up.” Richie said quietly. 

He began to think about the fight he got into with Bev and the look Aunt Molly gave him before he left and he couldn’t help but think maybe Bowers was right. He clutched his chest as his heart sank into his gut like a stone.

“you think girly boy will be there for you?” Henry smirked wickedly. 

“Shut up!” Richie yelled now, standing up. 

Eddie whipped his head around, hearing Richie’s voice. “Richie?” He spotted Richie immediately and the Bowers gang that was surrounding him. He quickly told Katelyn he would be right back and sped over to the scene. When he got there he stepped between Richie and Henry. “Back off Bowers.” Eddie spat.

Henry paid no attention to Eddie and kept his eyes on Richie, cocking one eyebrow. “Think about it.” He said, before walking off. 

Eddie and Richie watched them leave and then Eddie turned to Richie. 

Uh oh here it comes. 

“Richie what the hell?! Have you been spying on me this whole time?!” 

Richie looked around, with his hands deep in his jean pockets, avoiding eye contact with Eddie. “Pshhh No! Ego much?... I came here to… look around?” It came out as more of a question than an answer. 

“You never want to come to the mall Richie. I can’t believe you came here even though I asked you not to.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “You know what I’m actually not surprised…”

“Why because I’m so annoying and I can never do what I’m told?” Richie started to back away from Eddie a little, Bowers words ringing in his ears. “You probably wish I was more like her.” he said, gesturing towards Katelyn who was watching them. 

Eddie turned towards her and waved casually. “She’s actually really nice Richie.” He whispered as if she could hear them. 

“Of Course she is.” Richie rolled his eyes. 

“Rich, we've been through this... I’m not interested in her like that. You know that.” Eddie huffed out. 

“Yeah sure… is that why you guys were holding hands?” 

Eddie’s face turned red at that. “Rich we were just talking… about our moms and how suffocating they can be. She understands how I feel.” 

Richie’s face pinched into a full display of jealousy and rage. “And I don’t?” He seethed. 

“Rich...” Eddie started as he reached a hand towards him. 

Richie immediately flinched away from his touch. 

Eddie lowered his hand, looking around at the few people in the food court who were taking notice of them. He coughed awkwardly to try and change the subject. “What did Bowers want?” He asked. 

“Nothing.” Richie said through gritted teeth. Obviously still upset. 

“Richie C'mon. They obviously said something to you.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Richie yelled as he started to pull out a cigarette and a lighter from his coat pocket. “You should probably get back to your date.” He said as he walked towards the main exit. 

Eddie called after him a few times but gave up when Richie didn’t acknowledge him. He didn’t want to make a scene so he just let him go. 

Richie stood out in the parking lot, ignoring the cold and smoking one cigarette after the other but nothing was calming his nerves. This is exactly what he was worried about. Eddie was realizing there was better out there for him. He paced around his truck, Eddie’s words ringing in his ears. “She understands how I feel.” Richie started to think maybe Bowers was right… it was only a matter of time before everyone got sick of him. He needed a way to support himself when that happened. 

No. Eddie would never forgive him. Richie promised him he wouldn’t ever go back to that stuff… And as he was thinking he saw a familiar yellow car pull up to the mall exit. Sonia Kaspbrak. 

Richie then watched as Eddie and Katelyn walked out hand in hand and he puked in his mouth a little. He knew it was probably just for show, but that didn't stop the dangerous anger from bubbling inside him. 

He shook as Katelyn pressed a soft goodbye kiss to Eddie’s cheek. His mind was moving a million miles a minute, not knowing how to cope with this blow. Before Richie was sure he would combust, Henry and his goons walked out of the mall... Richie smiled as a beautiful, awful plan struck him.

He knew it was a bad idea, even as he was doing it, but he couldn’t stop. He was on anger autopilot. 

“Hey! Bowers!” Richie called out, loud enough so that Eddie would hear. Eddie took notice immediately and saw Richie’s smug expression from across the parking lot. It was the look he always got before he did something he knew Eddie wasn’t going to like. 

Eddie stood, questioning him with his eyes, warning him not to do whatever idiotic thing he was about to do. 

Richie ignored him though, loving having his attention finally. 

“I changed my mind!” Richie called out to Henry as he flicked his cigarette on the ground and walked towards them. 

Henry smirked dangerously at the approaching boy and gestured for him to follow them to his truck, which Richie did. His heart was beating out of his chest as he walked alongside the Bowers gang. He could feel the sting of Eddie’s eyes burning holes into the back of his skull. 

Henry opened the passenger door for Richie and FUCK, he really didn’t want to go anywhere with those pricks… but he was too far in this to back out now so with a gulp he got in. 

Richie slumped in the seat as Henry blasted some terrible music and hooted and hollered out the window. “Fuck yeah! We got the Trashmouth!” He sped up and drove ridiculously fast through the parking lot. 

Richie avoided looking out the window at Eddie as the reality of what he just did was sinking in. Eddie hated the Bowers gang more than anyone after the many years of torture they put him through. Curiosity got the better of him though and he glanced out the window as they passed by and he was met with a beat red Eddie who had replaced his normally hazel brown eyes with daggers. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Richie knew he was going to pay for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I was channeling Richie hard for this one... I don't know why Richie does these things to himself?! SMH. Also, I made an official WAYHRT Playlist if anyone is interested. Its some of the songs that are included in the fic and songs that I just think the boys would have listened to... and of course the 1975 songs that the chapter titles are named after! :) LOVE YOU ALL WITH MY WHOLE HEART!!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MmqJILRst89QogxZeJwns


	13. The Ballad of Me and My Brain

“Yeah so hey, where the fuck are we going? Kinda forgot to ask before I got in the fucking car.” Richie sputtered out. He was becoming increasingly more nervous the further away they drove, wanting desperately to go back in time and change the last 30 minutes of his life. 

Henry turned to Richie, a cigarette hanging from his lips. “You said you wanted in… so we are taking you to the boss.” 

Richie felt a wave of anxiety crash into him. “Um… yeah see I’m not sure if I…” he started. 

“Don’t tell me you’re pussing out on us!” Henry spat. “Cuz if you are we’re going to have to kick your ass.” 

Patrick leaned into Richie’s ear from the back. “Roadkill.” He hissed, making Richie flinch away from him. 

“What? No! I just wasn’t prepared.” Richie was regretting every stupid choice that he’d made that day that landed him here... in Henry Bowers fucking truck.

they drove further into the city, passing Joey's bar, making Richie's stomach tight with knots. He didn't want to do this again... damn it. 

When they finally pulled into where they were going Richie really couldn't believe it. 

"Rose's?" 

It was the only strip club for miles and had quit the reputation in Derry. Richie had heard about it a few years back when some meathead seniors were talking about it in the locker room after gym. One boy even bragged about going once and seeing a boob.

“Wow, one whole boob. Imagine if she had two?!" Richie had said mockingly... which landed him trapped in a locker for the rest of the day until a janitor found him.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Richie asked as they parked. 

"what, are you like too gay for it or something?" Henry smirked, making the rest of the Bower's gang laugh like a group of hyenas. 

Richie rolled his eyes at that. He wanted to say "No, I'm bi you idiot." But that would mean confessing his sexuality to them and he couldn't imagine how much worse the teasing would get if they knew he was ACTUALLY gay. Sometimes he forgot that they really didn’t know since they’ve made fun of him for it for as long as he can remember.

They walked towards the building and were easily let in by the bouncer, like they had been there a million times before.

When they walked in Richie's eyes immediately were drawn to the stage where nearly naked women were dancing while a plethora of men ogled at them, some even going as far as reaching out to them. Hungry for touch. 

Richie had always wanted to go to a strip club. It always seemed so glamorous, but now it just seemed kind of sad. 

Richie watched as Bowers walked towards a group of men who were lounging in a dark corner of the club beside the stage. 

They were all dressed up in suits and held a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. Unlike the other men in the club, they weren’t hollering or whistling at the dancers. They sat quiet - Only observing them. Silent predators. 

They didn’t need to get the girls attention like that, their presence was known. Richie suspected it was because of their money. 

The closer Bowers got, Richie noticed the boy’s sudden decline of confidence in the way his shoulders tensed up and he held his arms close at his sides. 

Even as he met the group of men it took him a minute, a silent pep talk to himself to speak up, and when he finally did it was only a meek shell of what the boy usually sounded like. 

“Boss? We got the guy.” 

All the men turned towards the Henry - who didn’t dare meet their gaze and kept his eyes down. It was probably a good thing since they were looking at him like he was gum under their shoe, and Richie couldn't help but feel a little bad for him.

One of the men seemed to take more interest than the others, letting out a sigh. 

“Well. Where is he?” He asked as if Bowers was expected to hand him over on a silver platter. 

Richie suddenly felt himself be jolted forward as Patrick grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to the front of the group. 

“Here.” Henry said. 

Richie fixed his glasses that had gone crooked from the force of being pulled and stood up straight, waving awkwardly at the men who, even though sat below him, felt as though they were standing ten feet above him. Their eyes not letting up on their judgmental gaze. 

Richie felt like some kind of show pony, being put on display and sized up. 

The man who Richie presumed was the so called “boss” looked him up and down. 

“This is him?” He asked Bowers, ignoring Richie’s existence entirely. 

Henry nodded. “Yes.” 

The man suddenly put down his glass and stood slowly. He started to walk towards the back of the club and Richie just watched him, confused by what was going on when Henry nudged him. 

Richie looked back at him and he had a “fucking follow him idiot” look on his face. 

Richie returned it with a “how the fuck was I supposed to know” look but started to follow him anyways. 

The man took them to a doorway in the back that was guarded by two large men. They swiftly moved aside when they saw him coming, like he had used the force on them. 

The men did a double take when Richie awkwardly followed behind the man, smiling at them as he passed. 

The room that they had entered was some kind of vip lounge. It was like nothing Richie had ever seen before... only in the movies.

The lights were dim and red, slightly illuminating off of the black walls and velvet red furniture, making the room look like some kind of fancy hell. 

There were only a few other men in there, exuding just as much power as the man Richie trailed behind. Each of them shamelessly flaunted their indiscretions as their individual dancers pressed up against them.

Richie almost choked when he saw one of the women was completely naked and she smiled when she locked eyes with the now bright red boy. 

when the man finally sat down on one of the sofas he gestured for Richie to take a seat across from him. 

Richie sat awkwardly, trying to get comfortable in these strange surroundings. It was proving to be difficult when only a few feet away from him a couple of people were practically getting it on. 

Why the fuck did he bring Richie in here? 

The man, who still hadn’t introduced himself or even asked for Richie’s name just stared at Richie some more, daring him to speak first. 

When Richie just twirled his thumbs awkwardly the man finally sighed and sat back, taking out a cigar and lighting it. 

“You want one?” He finally said when he saw Richie looking over at the dancers. 

Richie snapped out of it and looked at him, a little confused by the question. 

“W-What?” 

The man pointed to the women. “One of the them... you’re eighteen right?” 

Richie blushed. “Oh... oh.... no! I mean yes... I am eighteen but no I don’t want one.” 

Richie saw a questioning look on the mans face. He needed to play this off. 

“I have... a... a girlfriend.” 

The man shrugged, looking more uninterested. 

Richie suddenly thought of Eddie. What he would think of this place... he would hate it. Richie was sure he had probably called a million times by now and he felt the prickle of guilt start to build in his stomach at that thought. 

“So, I assume the boys told you what I want from you?” He asked. 

“They told me... but I’m just not sure. I did it before and it wasn’t all that great the first time.” Richie said. 

The man reacted to everything he said as if it were too much information. Richie was anything but a man of little words but he felt he needed to shrink himself down around this guy. 

The man took a puff off his cigar and blew it out slowly. “You go to That high school in Derry... right?” 

Richie nodded. There was really no point in saying actual words since the man never acknowledged them. 

“I need someone on the inside there. Lots of customers.” 

Richie couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “At Derry high?!” 

“Yes. Always has been a high traffic area. Town’s messed up ya know?” He smiled a wicked, toothy grin. The first real emotion Richie had seen and it wasn’t as comforting as it should have been. 

It did kind of make sense that the kids of Derry would be looking for some kind of escape since the town was basically some kind of purgatory. 

Richie still wasn’t sure, he knew what the price would be if he were to agree and Eddie ever found out. 

The man must of seen the hesitance I’m Richie’s face because he let out a loud sigh and leaned forward. Getting as close as he could to Richie. 

“Listen kid, I know about the shit that goes down in that place and I know you want out. We are talking a lot of money... enough money to put yourself through school or whatever you want to do after you graduate.” 

Richie let his words sink in and began imagining the kind of life he could have. He could go to school for music... or acting... or whatever the fuck he wanted because he wouldn’t need to rely on his deadbeat parents to pay a cent. Maybe he could even go to the same college as Eddie so they wouldn’t have to separate after graduation. The thought made him feel a little giddy. 

“All I’m asking is that you work for me through your senior year.” 

Richie looked warily at him. “And then I’m off the hook?” 

“You have my word.”

Richie wished he had more time to think it over but the look in the man’s eyes told him he didn’t have that time. He wanted an answer now. 

Richie thought for a moment more before reaching his hand out to the man. “You’ve got a deal.” 

The man smiled, ignoring Richie’s hand. “Excellent.” 

One of the dancers came up from behind the man and started to rub his shoulders and chest. 

“I’ll have the boys give you what you need” the man said, waving him off. 

Richie got the hint and stood, beginning to leave. He turned around one last time before reaching the door. “I forgot to ask your name.” 

The man squinted at Richie. “It’s boss to you.” 

And with that Richie left. Feeling a little unsettled. 

As soon as Richie stepped out he bent over, resting his palms just above his knees and let out a loud puff of air as if he had been holding his breath that whole time. 

“Scary, isn’t he?” A voice suddenly said out of nowhere. 

Richie sprang up and let out a surprised noise. 

There was a boy with golden brown curls sitting on a bench just outside the door, a guitar resting in his lap. 

Richie regathered himself. “You know him?” He asked. 

The boy shrugged. “Kind of.” 

Richie’s eyes moved down to the guitar, drooling over the beautiful instrument. He was still feeling the loss of the one he left behind at his parents. 

Richie continued to stare, not wavering even when a group of dancers walked by. 

“More interested in the guitar than the girls? My kind of man.” The boy laughed. 

Richie shook out of it. “Woah woah woah... I wouldn’t go that far, but that is a pretty one you’ve got there.” 

“You play?” The boy asked. 

“Kind of.” Richie said, mocking what the boy had said earlier. 

The boy smiled at that. “I’m James.” 

“Richie.” 

All of a sudden Richie heard Henry calling for him. “Yo Trashmouth! Get your ass over here!”

Richie groaned. “I’ve got to go. My idiot got lose.” 

“Well maybe I’ll see you around.” James said before Richie walked off. 

They left Rose’s and as promised they boys gave Richie his first supply and all the information he needed to get started. 

As they drove Henry pulled out a joint and asked if Richie wanted to smoke. 

“Fuck it.” Richie said before taking it. 

They sat smoking for a while in the dark, empty mall parking lot. 

When they finally drove off Richie stood there for a moment, just feeling the weight of the drug filled backpack pulling on his arm as it hung. 

He hoped that he didn’t just make a huge mistake. 

“Just a few months.” He whispered to himself as he got into his truck. “Just a few months of this bullshit and then Eddie and I can go off to college together.” 

When he got back to Aunt Molly’s, the reality of what happened earlier slammed into to him again. Would they still be mad tomorrow? 

Richie stepped out of his truck, looking up at the dark house. 

Flashbacks of going home to his parents came flooding in. The aching silence and the feeling of not being wanted. He hoped Aunt Molly and Bev would still want him. 

Maybe if he just snuck in and layed low for awhile they would forgive him. Yeah. 

Richie carefully unlocked the door and slid in quietly as to not wake Bev or Aunt Molly. 

He was surprised to find some of the lights were on and he immediately heard a jumble of voices coming from the main living room. 

“Richie?!” A voice called out. 

Richie stood frozen, surprised by all the noise when he suddenly saw the small boy he loved so much come around the corner with a wide set of worried eyes. 

“Richie!” Eddie confirmed when he saw him standing in the doorway. 

“Eddie? What are you doing here?” 

Before he could answer Bev and aunt Molly joined him, sharing the same worried expression. 

“Oh, thank goodness.” Aunt Molly breathed out. She walked over to Richie. “Where in the world have you been, young man?! Do you know what time it is?!” She yelled as she pointed a stern finger between Richie and the clock. 

She stepped closer to him and squinted her eyes making Richie nervously back up, refusing to meet her burning gaze. 

“And you’re high!” She yelled, shaking her head. 

This was all so new to Richie and he wasn’t really sure how to respond. 

“Uh… I… I’m sorry If I woke you guys.” 

Aunt Molly’s half angry look turned softer at that. “Wake us? You think we slept when you didn’t come home?” 

Richie really couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Someone cared about whether or not he came home. 

“Oh…” Was all Richie managed to get out. 

Aunt Molly just shook her head and reached up to rub Richie’s cheek affectionalty. “Well… I’m just glad you are alright sweetie. Next time please let us know where you are going.” 

Richie felt the gentle warmth of her skin press lightly on his face and couldn’t help but think of his mother. 

She was affectionate like this with him once. When he was little. He can’t really remember much of it, just how it felt to be loved. 

His eyes began to well up with tears as he pressed into her touch and as a tear rolled down his cheek, she whipped it away with her thumb. 

“I’m sorry… I just… Thank you for caring.” Richie sniffed and whipped the rest of his tears away

Aunt Molly smiled at Richie kindly. “Of Course sweetheart.” 

Richie felt a wave of relief and guilt flow through him all at once. He was so happy that aunt Molly didn’t hate him, but fuck he already made a deal with the devil that he couldn’t go back on.

Eddie suddenly pushed passed aunt Molly to Richie and hit him in the shoulder. “You dummy!” He yelled. Richie knew he was going to make up for Aunt Molly’s lack of punishment. 

“What’s wrong with you?! Going off with Bowers?! He’s a dangerous person Richie! You know that! What did he want with you?!” Eddie was sputtering out. 

Richie put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie, I’m fine.” 

Eddie locked eyes with Richie. “I know you are fine, idiot. That’s not what I’m asking. I want to know where you went with him and his group of…” Eddie looked at Aunt Molly and remembered not to use profanities. “jerks.” 

Richie thought quickly. There was no way in hell he was telling them the truth. “Nothing we just hung around and smoked.” 

“You just hung around...” Eddie said in disbelief. “With Bowers?” 

Richie leaned back and forth from his toe to his heel anxiously. He hated lying to Eddie but he knew the consequence of going back to dealing, and he wasn’t about to lose Eddie again. 

“Yeah... it’s just you mad me mad.” 

Eddie huffed out a frustrated breath. “So let me get this straight… you made that whole scene and got in my ENEMIES truck without telling anyone where you were going just because I mad you mad?! 

At this point Bev and aunt Molly were slipping awkwardly out of the room to give the boys some space. 

Richie looked down nervously at Eddie who was now standing close to him, forcing him to lean back away from the small, fuming boy in front of him.

“And on top of all of that, I actually convinced my mom to let me come over here for the night since I went on that stupid date with katelyn and told her I had fun. I figured you’d come back from whatever the hell you were doing and we’d talk about what happened but you never did. So instead of hanging out without having to lie to my mom for once, I spent all night worried about you!!” Eddie yelled, red in the face. 

Richie looked from side to side nervously. “Um… sorry?” 

Eddie looked as though he might punch Richie and it wouldn’t be the first time so Richie closed his eyes and braced for impact but only felt a push to his shoulder as Eddie bumped into him as he stomped away. 

“Eddie, Cmon.” Richie called out. 

“No. I’m hanging out with Bev tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to update! Hope you enjoyed!


	14. Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that it’s been taking me SO LONG to update! I’ve been super busy and haven’t had a lot of time for writing but I’m going to try to post more consistently!! I love this story and have a lot of plans for it so I hope u stick around and enjoy! Love you all!! Xoxo

Eddie ignored Richie as he knocked loudly on Bev’s locked bedroom door. 

“Ed’s please just come out and talk to me… I’m sorry.” 

Bev was angry at Richie too but she couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. His pleas sounded pitiful from the other side of the door. She nudged Eddie, gesturing for him to consider opening the door but Eddie wasn’t ready to stop being mad at him yet. 

“No way.” Eddie whispered with stern eyes. 

“He sounds really sorry.” Bev whispered back sadly. 

Eddie gave her an annoyed look. “Who’s side are you on?!” He yell-whispered.

“Yours Eddie. I know he messed up… but are you just going to ignore him forever?”

“I can hear ya, you idiots… doors not that thick.” Richie said from outside the door. 

Eddie put his finger to his mouth at Bev to get her to stop talking. 

Richie sighed. “Fine. Don’t talk to me.” His voice sounded a bit muffled, like he was leaning his head against the door. 

Eddie crossed his arms. Not believing that Richie would ever give up that easily. 

He was surprised to hear the sound of Richie’s fading footsteps as his sneakers hit the hardwood floor.

Eddie stared at the door as if he had misheard it and Richie was still there. He waited for any sign or sound but none ever came. 

“Eddie?” Bev said as she watched him look sadly at the door. 

He actually left. 

Eddie’s heart sank a little and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Maybe he was too harsh. Did he actually hurt Richie’s feelings? No. Richie was the one that hurt Eddie not the other way around. 

The stubborn boy crossed his arms as he sat across from Bev on her bed and pretended not to be upset by Richie leaving. 

“Good. I hope he doesn’t come back… him and his stupid stupidity.” Eddie lied.

Bev saw right through him and smiled sympathetically. 

“Listen Eddie, I know you are mad but you should talk to him or else nothing will ever get fixed… and I know you guys don’t want to break up.” 

“Break up?!” Eddie said suddenly. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Who said anything about breaking up?! I’m just mad... that’s all.” 

Bev shrugged. “I don’t know you just really seem like you don’t want to talk to him. So I’m sure he’s probably thinking that's where this is headed.” 

Oh fuck. Was Bev right? Was Eddie acting like he wanted to break up with Richie?!

Eddie quickly stood up in a panic. “That’s not what I wanted! Nothing like that! I just wanted to make him apologize… for a few hours.” 

“Well you should probably tell him that because I’m sure he’s spiraling right about now.” 

Eddie walked quickly to the door, unlocking it and bolting out.

Bev smirked to herself. She was truly the puppet master.

Eddie walked up the stairs and down the hall until he finally reached Richie’s room which now had a Cure poster taped to it. 

He took a deep breath before knocking lightly at the door. 

He needed to prepare himself to stay strong against whatever bullshit Richie was going to throw at him. It was important to him that Richie realized how much he scared him. 

Richie opened the door, now in his sweatpants and Just finished pulling his band t on. He straightened his glasses that had gone askew and his eyes widened when he saw Eddie standing there. 

“Oh… hey Eds. Thought you didn’t want to see me?”

Eddie looked down at the floor. “Changed my mind… I wanted to talk about everything. I don’t want to break up Richie.” 

Richie furrowed his brow at that. “I never thought that…”

“Oh.” Eddie said softly, silently cursing Bev for knowing how to push him to Richie. 

“Well I’m glad you’ve come to your senses and you’re ready to apologize.” Richie said before leaning down to wrap his arms around the small boy infront of him. 

“Me apologize?!” Eddie exclaimed as he wiggled in Richie’s arms. “You should be the one apologizing!” 

Richie didn’t loosen his grip at all and instead pulled Eddie, bringing him further into his room and kicking the door closed behind them.

“Richie!” 

“Oh c'mon Eds I was joking… I know we both did some dumb things today, but I think we should just move past it and never talk about it again.”

Richie honestly was avoiding the subject like the plague. He especially didn’t want to discuss the details of his escapades with the Bowers gang - wanting to keep his secret… secret. 

Richie finally set Eddie down who pushed on his chest to create some distance between them.

“We both did stupid things? You really want to compare me going on a fake date, with you getting into Bowers truck and being MIA for hours?!” Eddie yelled. 

Richie quickly began to think of way to get out of this conversation. “Yeah you’re absolutely right... we should... we should wrestle it out. Like we did when we were kids, ya know?” 

Richie grabbed a confused looking Eddie and fell back on the bed, taking Eddie with him. 

“Richie what the fuck is wrong with you?!” Eddie screeched as they rolled around on the bed, Richie refusing to let Eddie go and giving him a nuggy for good measure. 

That was it for Eddie and he decided to play into this little game. 

They continued to thrash around until Eddie finally managed to use what little weight he had to pin Richie down on the bed. 

He smiled at the victory, never being able to get the upper hand when they were kids but he had been going for runs in the morning recently without his mom knowing to blow off some steam. He noticed his legs were getting stronger and it was proving to be useful now. 

Richie struggled for a moment, frustrated and surprised by Eddie’s strength. 

“Ed’s what the fuck... when did you become the hulk?” 

Eddie leaned down close to his face. “Since I have a boyfriend who won’t behave.” 

Richie swallowed hard at that, Eddie’s eyes looking satisfied as he watched Richie struggle. 

“Now that I’ve got your attention,” Eddie started. “Can we please talk about this?”

Richie rolled his eyes and twisted his wrists a bit in Eddie’s grip. He threw his head back on the pillow in frustration when he found he still couldn't wiggle out.

“Eddie, I told you there’s nothing to talk about... I was mad so I did something I knew you wouldn’t like. I’m sorry. End of story.” 

Eddie just frowned at that. “Yeah I get the gist... but you can’t just do whatever you want because you're mad.”

“That’s just the trashmouth way.” Richie shrugged. 

Eddie let out a frustrated huff, becoming more and more angry with Richie’s uncaring attitude. 

He began tightening his grip around Richie’s wrists. 

“Ow… what the fuck Eddie! Let go!” 

“No! You told me that we would protect each other! Remember? Well, how can I do that if you NEVER listen to me?!”

“I don’t know why you are freaking out?!” Richie yelled back. “I didn’t need to be protected. Stop Sonia Kaspbraking me!” 

Eddie could feel his face heating up as his anger grew. Richie comparing him to his mom was the last straw. He wasn’t being like her. No. He had real reason to worry about Richie. Richie purposely did something that would freak him out and now somehow Eddie was the bad guy?!

“Richie you need to shut your mouth right now.” Eddie said sternly as he leaned his weight forward into Richie. 

He was surprised when Richie didn’t yell back but instead let out a small moan and bit down on his lip. 

“W-what... Are you enjoying this?” Eddie asked, half mad, half intrigued. 

“You're pressing down on my dick there Eds.” 

Eddie looked down and realized that yup.... That pressure he felt poking into his side was in fact Richie’s dick. 

“Oh I...” Eddie started to blush as he looked down at Richie and suddenly realized how good he looked under him, staring up at him with glossy eyes and rosy cheeks. 

He also realized how unintentionally intimate their position was. His legs were forcing Richie’s apart and his groin was resting on top of Richie’s, now both becoming hard from the friction. 

Eddie suddenly felt his anger being overrun with lust. He couldn’t help but lean down and press his lips against Richie’s. 

Richie let out a surprised little noise at that but returned the kiss. 

It soon become open mouthed and sloppy. Eddie pushed his tongue inside of Richie’s mouth, taking his anger out on the warm heat of Richie’s throat. 

Richie began to grind up against Eddie. “Eddie.... Eds... fuck...” he breathed. He tried to wiggle his hands out of Eddie’s grip again, wanting to touch him. 

Eddie pulled back and looked at him with disapproving eyes.

“Eddie let me touch you baby.” Richie whined.

Eddie frowned at that. “You really think you deserve that?! After the shit you just said to me?!” 

Richie bit his lip. “Let me make it up to you.” 

Eddie let go of Richie’s wrists finally and crossed his arms. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would be good enough to make it up.” 

Richie laughed at that. “Well what do you want?” 

Eddie thought about it. What did he want? 

He wanted Richie to listen to him. To not make him worry all the time or feel like he had to tiptoe around him to not set him off. 

Eddie looked over Richie’s body before sliding his hand under his shirt, feeling the hot skin underneath and the dark mess of hair on his stomach. 

“I want you... to listen to me.” 

Richie watched as Eddie hiked up his shirt even more and drew circles into his stomach with his fingers. 

“I want you to know that you can’t just do anything you want.” 

Eddie licked his lips as he looked down at his boyfriends slender stomach and the slight muscle definition he had. 

He began to lean down, still straddling Richie, and pressed his lips into his stomach, sucking dark bruises all over him and marking him up with his teeth.

“Eddie... mmmph...” Richie moaned as he ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair. It stung a little but he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of Eddie’s mouth on him.

Eddie pulled at Richie’s shirt a little, lifting it further up. 

“Off Rich.” 

Richie quickly complied and pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. 

Eddie moved up to Richie’s chest where he began to suck there too. He let his tongue escape his lips and drag over Richie’s nipple, making his breath hitch. 

“Eds... what... what’s gotten into you?” 

Eddie popped off of him and sat back up. Marveling at the work he’d done to leave his marks all over him. 

“You said you’d make it up to me... well this is what I want... I want you to just sit there and listen to me.” 

Richie gulped under Eddie’s possessive stare. 

“Will you do that Rich?” 

Richie nodded and Eddie smiled at that. It felt good to have some kind of control in this moment. Over Richie.

Eddie leaned down to connect their lips again and began to thrust into Richie, to which he quickly returned the favor. They grinded against each other, pressing their clothed cocks together.

Eddie turned his head, letting out a soft moan as he felt Richie shift down a bit so that the tent in his sweats was resting under his ass, now thrusting against it. 

Richie latched onto Eddie’s neck, licking and sucking at a sensitive spot. 

“Richie I want you to fuck me.” Eddie suddenly breathed out. 

“What?” Richie asked as he looked up at Eddie who was now panting and biting his lip, looking high on lust. 

“I want to feel you inside me. Please. I’m ready.” 

Richie blinked a few times in amazement. He’d wanted nothing more than to hear those words come out of his best friend’s mouth but he wanted to be sure... the last thing he ever wanted was for Eddie to regret their first time.

“Are you sure? Cuz a minute ago you wanted to kill me.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I always want to kill you” He took a deep breath in and started to undress himself so Richie would know how serious he was. 

He first took his shirt off slowly, trying to be a sensual as he could about it. It seemed to be working because Richie looked completely dazed out under him. 

When Eddie’s top half was bare Richie sat up a bit and pressed a kiss under his navel. 

Eddie smiled down at him and then moved his hands to the waistband of his pants. 

He thought about only removing his pants first and leaving his underwear but decided to just go for it a take it all off at once when he saw Richie’s wanting eyes on him, giving him all the confidence he needed. 

It was a little difficult to get his pants off while he was still sitting on top of Richie but he managed to wiggle out, tossing his clothes on the ground with haste. 

He situated himself back on Richie and suddenly felt himself become embarrassed by his complete nakedness and how exposed he was. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths to calm himself down before he freaked out, not wanting to look at Richie yet. 

“Beautiful.” Richie finally spoke. 

Eddie opened his eyes when he felt Richie’s hands on his face. 

“You are so beautiful Eds...” He said again, now that Eddie was looking at him. “I love you.”

Eddie smiled bashfully at that, thankful that Richie wasn’t just looking down at his naked body and instead was making him feel loved. 

“I love you too Richie.” Eddie said as he grabbed Richie’s wrist and brought his fingers to his mouth. He wrapped his lips around them and started to suck, coding them slickly in spit. 

Richie stared at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, loving the way his warm mouth felt around his fingers. 

When Eddie was done he started to lead Richie’s hand down under him. 

“You wanna open me up Rich?” 

Richie suddenly looked like he had short circuited and Eddie worried he may have broken him. 

“Rich?” 

Richie shook his head. “Yeah... yeah... but damn, give a guy some kind of warning before you say shit like that.” He choked out. 

Eddie smiled at his boyfriend getting so flustered... it was rare to see Richie Tozier like this and he hoped that he would be the only one to get to experience it. 

Richie let one finger slide in Eddie’s crack and began teasing at his hole. 

Eddie pressed his face into Richie’s chest to hide his embarrassing pleasure, moaning at the sensation of Richie massaging his entrance. 

“Have you ever touched yourself there before baby?” Richie asked. 

Eddie nodded into Richie’s chest but Richie forced his chin up with his free hand so he would look at him. “You have?” He asked, kind of surprised. “What were you thinking about?” 

Eddie covered his face again. “Richie. Don’t make me tell you that.” 

“please Eddie.” Richie almost begged as he continued to rub and tease at Eddie’s tight hole.

When Eddie still wouldn’t answer he decided to let one of his long fingers slip into him, making Eddie moan. 

“Oh.... Rich.” 

“What were you thinking about when you touched yourself?” Richie asked again. 

Eddie looked up at Richie, not in any position to keep fighting him on this. 

“You. I was always thinking about you... fucking me.” 

Richie was a mess, listening to Eddie talk like that, it sounded so good on his lips. 

“Eddie.” 

Eddie took the opportunity to let his hand slip between them to paw at Richie’s hard on and stroked him through his sweats.

“I always imagined your big cock forcing me open and filling me up.” 

Richie couldn’t believe how dirty Eddie was being. 

“Ed’s... fuck.” Richie said as his head thrashed back on the pillow.

“More Richie. Give me more.” Eddie breathed, leaning into Richie’s finger. 

Richie complied and added another finger, slowly moving them in and out of him. 

“Rich... oh fuck.” Eddie moaned, lightly bouncing into each thrust. 

Richie started to add another finger, making Eddie’s face pinch up at the pressure. 

Richie watched Eddie’s expression in awe as he felt the tight heat engulf his third finger, feeling the resistance as he started to move again. 

“You okay?” Richie asked. 

“Mm okay... never had three before.” Eddie managed to get out. 

“Well you are going to need it.” Richie smirked. He moved a little slower until Eddie got used to the feeling and started bouncing into him again. 

“Fuck... Richie... I’m ready for you. Please.” Eddie begged as he started to tug on Richie’s arm to pull his fingers out. 

He whined a little at the sudden empty feeling but then eagerly pulled down on Richie’s sweats and boxers, letting his large, leaking cock pop out, hitting Richie in the stomach. 

Eddie bit his lip at the sight. Richie looked so fucking good. He couldn’t help but admire how sexy Richie was with his raven curls falling into his face as he looked up at Eddie, desperate for him.

Eddie quickly lined himself up with Richie and started to come down on him, feeling the pressure of his tip start to penetrate him. 

“Wait... don’t you want me to be on top?” Richie questioned.

Eddie quickly shook his head. “No, I like being on top.” 

Richie smirked at that and let Eddie carry on, wondering silently to himself if Eddie was secretly a top. The thought surprisingly made him harder. 

“What about a condom?” 

Eddie shook his head again and continued to sink down on him, making the room fill up with their moans. 

“I wanna feel you.” He said. In that moment he didn’t care about anything. He just wanted Richie - and he definitely didn’t want some rubber thing between them, keeping them apart for their first time. 

The feeling of being inside Eddie’s tight heat was sending Richie to another plain of existence. He felt like he was floating. (And not in a getting murdered by a creepy clown way.) 

“Richie? Rich? are you still with me?” Eddie asked as he watched Richie’s eyes roll to the back of his head. 

“Yeah... I’m here... I’m with you.” He choked out. 

Eddie nodded and smiled at the effect he was having on him. “I’m gunna move now.” 

Before Richie could even respond Eddie lifted himself up almost completely off of Richie and slammed back down onto him. 

They both cried out at the pleasure that shot through their bodies. 

Eddie began to move up and down repeatedly and moved his hips to hit that magic spot over and over. 

The feeling of Richie inside him was better than he ever imagined. He felt so full. So full of not just anyone... but Richie... the boy he’d loved since he was a kid. 

“Oh fuck Richie... your cock is so good... feels so good.” Eddie breathed out. 

Eddie’s hands grabbed onto Richie’s wrists that were sitting on his waist and forced them above his head. 

He didn’t know what it was about pinning Richie down and taking control of him that he loved so much but it was making him feel so good as he fucked himself onto Richie. 

“Eddie... fuck.” Richie moaned as he thrusted into Eddie. 

The combination of their movement was building their heat quickly and they were both getting close to their release.

Eddie reached down and pressed their lips together again, trying to get as close as possible. 

It may have been the grossest kiss they had ever shared, their tongues colliding and their spit coding each others mouths... but Eddie didn’t care. 

“I love you Rich... I love you.” Eddie kept repeating over and over again as he felt the heat build in his abdomen. 

“Eddie, I love you too... ah Jesus fuck.” 

All of a sudden Richie’s entire body seemed to convulse and he stiffened as he came inside Eddie.

The feeling of Richie filling him up sent Eddie over the edge too, making him fall forward onto Richie, theighs shaking through his orgasm. He bit at the skin on Richie’s shoulder, trying not to scream out. The orgasm was intense... the most intense that he had ever experienced before. Not that he had a lot to compare it to - Eddie rarely ever masturbated.

Richie looked down at his shaking, moaning boyfriend laying on his chest and soothingly rubbed his back. 

“Holy shit Eds.” 

When Eddie finally came down from his high turned his neck up to look at Richie who was smiling from ear to ear. The smug bastard. 

“That good?” Richie asked.

Eddie rolled his eyes at him and smacked his shoulder playfully. “Oh shut up.” He wanted to be annoyed but he was overcome with love for the loud boy laying under him. He had wanted this for so long. 

Richie felt equally overwhelmed with love for Eddie, but in the back of his head he couldn’t help but feel an enormous amount of guilt and weight weighing heavy on his shoulders. He was lying to Eddie and he thought maybe he didn’t deserve what they had just shared.


	15. Settle Down

Richie’s next few weeks consisted mostly of sneaking around to meet all of his boss’s customers at school without the losers noticing. 

Which was proving to be difficult... since it felt like half the student body wanted what he had. 

Guess the boss wasn’t fucking lying when he said Derry high was so high traffic. Richie thought as he ran as fast as he could to fourth period. 

“Sorry I’m late.” Richie breathed heavily as he bursted through the door and immediately leaned over, pressing his palms into the top of his knees and heaving.

Damn he really needed to stop smoking. 

“Take a seat Mr. Tozier.” The teacher said, obviously annoyed but not surprised.

Richie looked to the back of the class where Eddie was staring daggers at him. 

Richie smiled at him anyways and began walking back to the empty seat beside his angry boyfriend. 

They had made a deal that Eddie would sit in the back for fourth period with Richie since Richie always sat in the front with Eddie for the other three classes they had together. 

“Where the fuck were you?” Eddie whispered to Richie as he sat down beside Eddie. 

“I was smoking and I lost track of time.” Richie lied. 

He had really been selling a generous amount of ecstasy to a couple of juniors. Cheerleaders non the less. 

Eddie made an annoyed face at Richie. “You really should stop that. It’s a gross habit and it’s bad for you.” 

Richie looked dotingly at his concerned boyfriend and smiled at how cute he looked today, with his light wash denim and dark green sweater... he was a vision. 

“I know, I know Eds... I’ll try.” Richie grinned, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to stop.

Richie quickly turned his textbook to the page they were on and started tuning in to the teacher, who was talking about some dead guy. 

All of a sudden Richie felt something hit the top of his foot and looked down to find a pencil. 

“Oops, sorry.” A voice said from beside him. 

Richie turned his head to find James. The boy he had met at the strip club. 

Richie instantly froze and felt his whole body stiffen.

What the fuck was he doing here? He didn’t go to Derry... Richie definitely would have noticed if he was in his class. He’s clueless, but not that clueless. 

James ran his fingers through his golden brown locks and smiled at Richie, looking like he relished in Richie’s surprise. 

“My bad.” James said again before leaning down under Richie. 

“It’s cool.” Richie said, shimmying over so James could reach his pencil easier. He was trying to act as natural as possible but was internally freaking out. This guy could not be here... not with Eddie sitting just on the other side of him. What if he said something?! what if Eddie found out about everything?! What if- 

Richie felt a slight bump to his leg and jumped as James accidentally brushed his leg when he reached for his pencil. 

James grinned at that. “You a little on edge?” He whispered. 

Richie squinted at the boy, trying to figure out what kind of game he was playing at. 

“You know stalking is illegal.” Richie whispered back. “Since when do you go here?” 

“Since today... if you were on time you would have been here for my introduction to the class.” James grinned a knowing toothy grin. “Guess you were busy with something else.” 

Richie’s eyes widened and he peaked over at Eddie who luckily was too busy being studious to pay attention to their conversation.

“That’s private.” Richie spat quietly, but trying to get across sternly that he didn’t want James to talk about that. 

James threw his hands up in mock surrender. “My lips are sealed.” 

“So what brings you here? To Derry I mean... attacking my foot with your pencil.” 

“I was home schooled before. Thought a change would be nice.” James explained. 

Richie raised his eyebrow at him. It still wasn’t quite adding up... what were the chances of him meeting a boy he’s never seen before and a week later he’s going to his school and sitting by him in class... Richie was probably overthinking it. 

“And sorry about the pencil thing...” James started again. “I’m just so clumsy when I’m turned on.” 

Richie swallowed hard at that. He turned towards James again, probably looking nervous and confused. 

James laughed and gestured toward their teacher... Mr. Spaulding. 

Richie looked at the young, attractive MALE teacher and then back at James with an understanding and a devilish smile. 

“You too huh? Thought it was just me.” 

“Those pants hug him in all the right places.” James laughed. 

“You got that right.” Richie slouched in his chair and bit his lip as he focused his attention to their teacher’s ass. 

Jesse watched Richie’s reaction - completely taken by his small town beauty. He was quickly thrown from his daze when a small hand reached over and slapped Richie’s arm. 

“I can see you asshole!” Eddie yell-whispered. 

“Sorry baby, but you know I’ve got a kink for student teacher relationships.” Richie teased. 

“Shut it trashmouth!” 

The teacher turned when he heard Eddie yell and looked at them warningly. 

Eddie gave Richie a dirty look before directing his attention back down at his notes, embarrassed. 

James leaned over to Richie. “So you're into boys then?” He asked as if he had already suspected it. 

Richie leaned back so that Eddie was in James’s view. “Well I kinda like this one.” He smirked and pointed at Eddie with his thumb. 

James leaned in a little closer. “The small boy that just hit you?” He asked a little confused. 

“Unfortunately, yes.” Richie half turned towards Eddie and rubbed his arm mockingly. “I’m abused.” He pouted. 

Eddie scoffed at Richie. “You wish.” He whispered. 

Richie bit his lip and winked at his feisty little boyfriend. “You know it baby.” 

“So, you two are dating?” James asked. 

Richie was making kissy faces at Eddie but quickly whipped his head back around to look at James when he heard the question. 

It should have been a simple enough question... but for them, answering that was dangerous. 

Richie looked around, making sure no one was listening in before whispering “yeah.” 

Eddie’s eyes almost popped out of his head at that.

“Richie!” Eddie yell-whispered. 

“It’s okay Ed’s... he’s one of us he won’t say anything.” 

Eddie looked at James with nervous eyes. 

Eddie didn’t know this guy... only that he was new to Derry. He was shocked that Richie would ever tell a stranger about them before most of their best friends. Even if James was gay it was still a risk. After all, people were killed and beaten all the time for being openly gay and Eddie didn’t want anything like that to happen to him or Richie. 

“Yeah it’s cool little dude.” James said as he pretended to zip his lips. 

Eddie didn’t know why, but James gave him a weird feeling. He hoped he wouldn’t be around much... 

To Eddie’s dismay James grabbed Richie’s arm before he could walk out with Eddie after class.

Eddie stuck like glue beside Richie, glaring at James’s hand that rested on his boyfriend’s forearm. 

“Listen, I know you’re into guitars and I was thinking maybe you’d want to come over to my place after school? I need someone to jam with.” 

Eddie officially hated this guy. He hoped that Richie was getting his telepathic message to tell this motherfucker no way.

“Oh um... sure.” Richie shrugged. 

Damn it Richie. Eddie thought. 

“I’m not really that good but it’d be nice to play again.”

James gave Richie a smile that made Eddie want to rip his smug lips off with his bare hands. 

“Cool... I’ll see you after school, then.” James said before walking off. 

When Richie and Eddie were in the hallway and finally away from James, Eddie turned to Richie. “What the fuck was that? How’d you know him?” 

Richie shoved his hands in his jeans pockets nervously as they walked. 

“Whatcha mean Eds? I just met him.” 

Eddie scowled at him. “Why are you lying?!” 

Richie could feel himself start to sweat. How was Eddie figuring that? What piece had he not picked up? 

“Um... I’m not lying.” He said shakily.

“Then how’d he know you play guitar?” Eddie questioned. 

Ah... there it was. The piece Richie forgot to pick up. An easy fix for the smooth talking trashmouth. 

Richie laughed and grabbed at his own shirt. “The shirt says it all, Eds.”

Eddie frowned at the warn out Queen shirt. “You’re trying to tell me that he guessed just by looking at your shitty band t shirt?” 

“Mmmhhm.” Richie said confidently. “Plus look at me... I’ve got musical genius written all over me.” 

“Sure.” Eddie rolled his eyes and thankfully let it go. 

At the end of the day Eddie didn’t want to let go of Richie as he walked off with James. 

“Call me later!” Eddie called after him. The pit of his stomach was turning as he watched them laugh together. He wanted to grab Richie and take him away so that James could never laugh at his shitty jokes again or look at him again for that matter... but he also didn’t want to be THAT boyfriend. So, he reluctantly let them walk off. 

At James’s house Richie couldn’t help but gawk at the line of beautiful sports cars outside as they walked the long driveway.

“Nice place.” Richie said as he walked in after James and sat his backpack down on the ground, looking around at the sleek interior and black leather furniture. 

Richie couldn’t help but notice that there were no pictures on the walls of James’s family... but maybe they were just not the picture taking type.

“Thanks. It’s my dad’s place... well one of them.”

The more he looked around and found nothing but empty spaces and quiet, the more he was reminded of his own childhood home and he felt a little sorry for James. 

“Is that supposed to impress me?” Richie laughed.

“It doesn’t?” James laughed back. “I saw you looking at my dad’s cars on the way in...” 

“Exactly, they’re your dad’s... He’s impressive. you on the other hand... not so much.” 

“Oh yeah?” James smirked. “Come here.” 

James led them upstairs where Richie assumed his room would be. 

He stopped at a door at the end of the hallway and gave Richie a sly smile before opening it. “How’s this for impressive?” 

“Holy shit.” Richie breathed weakly. 

The whole room was a music lover’s fantasy. 

There were framed band posters with autographs that lined the walls and every record ever made on a huge shelf. 

Richie’s eyes bolted to the back of the room where there were a plethora of the most beautiful guitars he’d ever seen sitting on display. 

“Well?” James asked... waiting for his well deserved praise from Richie. 

Richie straightened his glasses and sighed. “Alright, ya got me... this is pretty cool.” 

“I knew I could take your breath away.” James winked. 

Richie felt his neck get hot and he couldn’t place it but he suddenly felt like he shouldn’t be there. 

“Come on, lets play!” James said before walking over to his guitars. 

“Um...” Richie started, not moving from his spot, still deciding weather or not he should stay. 

“What’s the matter? You shy or something?”

Richie gasped at that. “Richie Trashmouth Tozier? Shy?! My good sir... you obviously don’t know me very well.” 

Richie walked over to his options and looked them over carefully. “Any of them?” He asked. 

James nodded, already grabbing one of his acoustic guitars and tuning it. 

Richie immediately grabbed at the one he liked best, it was an electric guitar with a red and yellow design... the brightest one.

James laughed. “I knew you’d pick Rocky.”

Richie gave James a funny look as he adjusted the strap around himself and sat down in the chair across from him. “You named it Rocky? How unoriginal... and aren’t they supposed to be girls names?” 

James shrugged. “Don’t like girls.” 

“Well I do... half the time anyways. My guitar’s name was Scarlett. Pretty little thing she was.” Richie said in a western accent

“Was?” James asked. 

“Yeah I uh... left it at my parents when I ran away.” 

“Oh.” 

Richie shook his head, not likening the sympathetic look on James’s face. “Yeah but it don’t matter... I’ve got my best fiends and Eddie.” 

James watched with furrowed brows as Richie began to strum the guitar, gently moving his fingers along it. 

“You know, I can’t believe you are with him.” James said casually. 

Richie’s head snapped up at that. “Ed’s? Yeah I know it’s crazy that a guy like me scored him.” He beamed. 

James raised an eyebrow at him. “No I mean I can’t believe someone as hot as you would be dating such a nerd.” 

Richie felt himself tighten up. He pointed a warning finger at James. “Hey watch it... yeah he’s a nerd but he’s the most perfect nerd ever.”

“Suit yourself... I just think you can do better.” 

Richie just rolled his eyes at that. James didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Eddie was so beautiful and Richie felt lucky everyday that he put up with him - let alone loved him. 

“You’re not bad Tozier.” James smiled as they played together. 

“Don’t act so surprised.” Richie laughed. He looked up at the clock and sighed. “Well I better get going, told Bev I’d be home for dinner.” 

“Alright...” James sighed. “We should do this again. It was fun.” 

“Yeah.” Richie carefully placed the guitar back on the stand. 

He started for the door but then turned around when he remembered something. “Hey, I meant to ask you... what were you doing at the strip club that night? You obviously weren’t there for the girls.” 

James looked up at him from his chair and laughed. “Yeah you got me... I wasn’t there for the girls.” 

“So, you work for the boss then too?” 

James gave Richie a funny look. “No. He’s my dad.” 

Richie felt himself stop breathing. “Oh.” 

“Yeah but like it’s not a big deal.” James assured him. 

Richie ran a hand through his black curls as anxiety spiked through him. “He’d be mad if he knew I was here... I’m one of his dealers. I shouldn’t be hanging out with his son! Oh fuck. Oh fuck.” 

James stood up and walked towards Richie. “Hey, listen he doesn’t care I promise. I hang with his dealers all the time. Especially when they are as cute as you.”

Richie laughed at that. “Hey you need to cool it with the flirting... it’s funny and all but if Eddie heard you say that to me your knee caps would be shown no mercy.” 

James rolled his eyes. “Okay whatever but I promise that this is fine. Trust me. It’s just cool to have another dude around who understands me.” 

Richie looked down into James’s serpent green eyes that had fallen a little sad at that confession. 

James sighed, looking down at the floor. “My dad is obviously a pretty macho guy and so are most the guys he brings around. It’s not everyday that a guy like me... a gay guy-“

“Bisexual.” Richie corrects. 

“Whatever... it’s not everyday that a bisexual guy comes along in the world I live in. This grimy macho drug lord world that I’ve been raised in.” 

Richie did feel a little sorry for James. He couldn’t imagine being raised in an environment like the one he experienced at the strip club. “Well fine then. As long as he’s okay with it.” 

“He doesn’t care what I do... as long as he doesn’t catch us fucking or something.” 

Richie’s face turned red at that and his mouth dried up. “Yeah well that would never happen... cuz Ive got a boyfriend.”

“Yeah I know.” James rolled his eyes. “So we’re good.” 

There was an awkward silence between them for a minute and Richie stiffly turned towards the door again. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” He said as he shuffled out. 

Eddie tried to focus on anything, ANYTHING else besides Richie hanging out with that dickwad James. How dare he flirt with his boyfriend right in front of him! 

“Eddiebear is something wrong? You’ve barley touched your spaghetti.” Eddie’s mom asked from across the dinner table. 

Eddie looked down at the pasta and sauce sitting on his plate and was instantly reminded of Richie and his silly pet names. Ugh why did everything have to remind him of Richie?! 

“I’m fine ma.” 

“Well you don’t seem fine. Are you feeling alright?” 

No. Eddie wasn’t feeling alright. He was a mess. What if James made a move on Richie? And what if Richie let him?! Would Richie do that? 

BRING! BRING! 

All of a sudden their kitchen phone started to ring and Eddie’s mom swiftly went to go pick it up. 

“Hello Sonia Kaspbrak speaking.” 

Eddie watched as his mom turned to him with a big smile on her face. 

“Eddiebear it’s for you... it’s katelyn.” She said gleefully as she held the phone to her chest. “Maybe you’d want to take it to your room. You are a young man now.” 

“Ma!” Eddie said as his face grew hot from embarrassment. 

Young man his ass... his mom would still be dressing him if it was up to her. This was her just pushing him into the heterosexual norms. 

“I’ll take it upstairs.” Eddie sighed as he walked past her and up towards his bedroom. 

What could katelyn want? Maybe she was calling to tell Eddie another story about something her mom did that only he would understand. 

Eddie picked up his phone and shouted down to his mom. “Ma I got it! You can hang up!” 

“Hey katelyn. What's up?” He said after he was sure his mom was gone. 

“Actually, it’s your side piece.” A voice said from the other end.

“Richie?!” Eddie exclaimed. He was happy it was actually him. “How did yo-“ he started. 

“Used a voice. My throats going to be sore for like a week. Your mom talked to me -katelyn- the whole time you were walking to your bedroom… Seriously Eds, could you have walked any slower?!” 

Eddie laughed when he heard the strain in Richie’s voice. He couldn't help but find it oddly romantic that Richie sacrificed his vocal cords for him. 

“I can’t believe she fell for that. Your voices are terrible.” 

“What?!” Richie said in fake shock. “Eds, you wound me.” 

“So how did it go with that James guy?” Eddie asked, maybe a little more eager than he meant to. 

“Fine. We just hung out and Jammed for a bit.” 

“He didn’t try to... touch you or anything, right?” Eddie asked reluctantly. 

“What?! No way! You're the only man I want touching me Eds.” 

Eddie’s words were making Richie feel a little guilty. even though they hadn’t done anything James was flirting with him a lot and on top of that Richie was still lying to Eddie. 

“Ed’s...” Richie suddenly spoke.

“Yeah?” 

“We should go on a date... a real one.” Richie spit out. With all this stress of lying and feeling like he wasn’t good enough for Eddie he wanted to do something nice for him. To take him out and treat him like a king. 

“Rich... you know I’d love to, but we can’t.”

“Yes we can!” Richie struck back. “Well just go somewhere where no one knows us!” 

Eddie thought about that for a minute. It wasn’t the worst idea and Richie did have a car. 

“Where would we go?” He asked, playing into this fantasy to see where it went. 

“Hmmmm… how about New York?!” Richie exclaimed excitedly. 

“And you’ve lost me… That's like an eight hour drive!” Eddie yelled. 

“Cmon Eds, hear me out… it could be a little weekend getaway. A romantic road trip and some sightseeing… fucking like rabbits in the hotel room.” 

“Richie!” Eddie yelled, but he wasn’t mad. This actually sounded fun. Maybe it could work. “You really want to do that? How will we pay for it?” 

Richie quickly thought of a lie. “I have some leftover money from my dealing days… was saving it for something special.” 

Eddie was smiling from ear to ear thinking about going to New York with Richie. 

“So, you in Eds?” Richie asked. 

Eddie bit his lip to hold back his excitement. “Yeah. Let’s do it Rich.”


	16. Facedown

Eddie could hardly wait for the weekend. He spent every waking minute leading up to it planning and researching about what kind of things they should do while they’re in the big city. He even made a very Eddie-esque list that they could check off as they went.

(Mostly so that they steered clear of any potential danger.)

He was a little nervous about going somewhere with so many people and probably a crazy amount of germs and diseases, but he was ready to have Richie to himself. Especially since everyday without fail James had been inviting Richie over to hang out after school. 

Eddie tried not to let it get to him. Richie would never cheat on him, but the way James looked at Eddie as he flirted with Richie made it seem like he was trying to get a reaction - Eddie was about ready to give it to him too. 

Everyday he wondered if it would be the day he would snap on that smug douche-bag. 

He had to compose himself though. He refused to be a possessive boyfriend. He’d seen enough rom-coms to know it wasn’t a good look. So, he made sure to to be as polite as he could when James was around. Though, he always made sure he was touching Richie in some way when James was talking to him. It didn’t have to be anything big, just their fingers brushing against each other as they stood or Eddie pressing his shoulder lightly into Richie’s side. It was subtle but it made him feel better somehow - when him and Richie were connected. It reminded him of how solid they were. Not perfect by any means... but solid. Like a rock. 

Nothing they had been through had broken them yet and Eddie would like to see James try. 

RING! RING! 

As the end of fourth period bell rang and class came to a close, Eddie started packing his things up, eyeing James as he chatted Richie up once again... it was getting kind of ridiculous. 

“Yeah totally...” James agreed... because he agreed with everything Richie said. Eddie rolled his eyes at that. If he really was trying to woo Richie he was doing a shitty job. Richie loved a good fight once in a while. 

“So... I was thinking maybe...” 

There it was... James was going to ask Richie YET AGAIN to hang out after school, but Eddie moved quickly, grabbing Richie’s arm and pulling him away from James and close at his side. 

“Sorry, but Richie and I are going on a trip this weekend and I have to help him pack.” Eddie said quickly as he dared James to question his completely made-up yet totally set in stone plan. 

“Oh.” James said, obviously a little disappointed. “It’s cool.” 

Richie smirked down at his boyfriend knowingly. He luckily played along and patted James on the back. “Yeah sorry man. I’m shit at packing and Eds here is a pro... we’ll hang out when I get back.” 

Eddie squeezed Richie’s upper arm a little harder than he meant to at that. He didn’t want them hanging out when they got back. He didn’t want them hanging out ever. 

Richie looked down at where Eddie was holding tightly to him, bunching his shirt in his fist as he did. 

“Ow Eds, ease up a bit.” Richie hissed. 

Eddie gritted his teeth and faked a smile as he looked up at his clueless boyfriend. “I’m just really excited for next period... we are cleaning our microscopes.” Eddie lied. (Although, truthfully he was a little excited.) 

“Okay, weirdo.” Richie laughed. He turned to James to start talking again but felt himself be pulled again as Eddie dragged him (with impressive force) out the door. Richie smiled and shook his head as he waved to James. 

“Don’t forget to think about it!” James called out as they disappeared out the door. 

Once they were in the hallway Eddie let go of Richie, huffing and puffing. 

Richie walked beside him, wondering what he should say. He knew Eddie was mad but he wasn’t sure Eddie wanted him to know that. 

“So, are you really going to help me pack or was that just an excuse for me not to hang out with James?” 

Eddie snapped his head up to look at him as they walked through the hall. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” He said sharply. He knew how obvious he was being, but he was still going to pretend he didn’t know what Richie was talking about. 

Richie smiled at Eddie’s hostility. When they made it to Eddie’s locker Richie leaned down to whisper in his ear as Eddie was furiously exchanging his folders. 

“Thanks for getting me out of that... all I want to do tonight is fuck you.” 

Eddie nearly chocked on the mint gum he had been chewing and he felt a twitch in his pants. 

“Richie! Don’t say stuff like that here.” Eddie scolded as he looked around nervously. 

Richie shrugged and leaned against the locker beside him. 

Eddie sighed and looked up at him. “What did James want you to think about?” 

Richie looked down at Eddie with a dreamy expression on his face. 

Damn it... how could someone be that perfect... and how can someone be “good” at leaning?! Is that even a thing?! Well if it was, Richie was doing a damn good job. 

Eddie lowered his voice but had to ask. “Was it if you want to have sex with him?” 

Richie’s brows furrowed. “What? No! Eds...” He reached out for Eddie but then suddenly remembered where they were and pulled back. He huffed a little in frustration at that, smacking his head back on the locker. 

“I hate not being able to touch you in public.” He looked over at a girl and her boyfriend a few lockers down who were practically swallowing each other while a teacher yelled at them to separate. 

“See that could be us...” Richie said as he gestured towards them like they had done something extraordinary. 

Eddie wrinkled his nose at them. “What? Suck face in front of everyone and then get detention for it? Sorry to burst your bubble Rich but even if it were okay for us to... you know... I wouldn’t do it here.” 

Richie sighed. “I know. But it would be nice to have the option.” 

Eddie looked up at his boyfriend sadly. “Someday Rich.” 

Richie smiled weakly at him. “Do you think we should tell the rest of losers soon?” 

Eddie shrugged. He had been thinking about that recently. Bev and Bill already knew and he was sure Stan knew too... what would be so bad about the rest knowing? Plus everyday they went without saying anything the more hurt they’ll probably be.

“Probably.” Eddie sighed. 

“Maybe we should tell them at the losers Christmas.” Richie smiled. “It’ll be their gift from us.” 

Eddie frowned at that. “How is that a gift?” 

“The knowledge that your best friends are boning is priceless.” Richie grinned. 

“Somehow I don’t think they’ll see it that way.” Eddie laughed. “So what was it then?” 

“Huh?” Richie blinked a couple times in confusion. 

“What was it that James wanted you to think about?” 

“Oh. He wants us to start a band.” Richie shrugged. “I told him I don’t think I’m good enough for that but he swears I play like a god.” 

Eddie could feel his face getting hot and he rolled his eyes so hard he worried they might not come back down. Of fucking course James would take every opportunity to stroke Richie’s ego and OF COURSE he would come up with an idea to make it impossible to keep him away from Richie. 

“A band?” 

Richie nodded, seeming kinda uninterested in the idea. “Yeah, with a couple other kids from Derry. It might be cool but I told him I’d have to think about it.” 

“Why?” Eddie asked. If it sounded so great why didn’t Richie just do it?

“Well, because I know you don’t really like him and I wouldn’t want to do anything to make my little Eds upset.” Richie said as he lightly brushed at Eddie’s side, making kissy faces at him. 

Eddie quickly moved away and slammed his locker shut. “What?! What would make you think that?! You can do whatever you want Richie! I really couldn’t care less!” 

Eddie knew that Richie could see right through him. He always could. 

“Ed’s Cmon-“ 

RING! RING! 

“Fuck... we’ll talk about this later! I can’t get detention for being late again!” Richie called out as he pointed at Eddie and ran down the now empty hall. 

Eddie sighed, watching Richie’s tall figure disappear and then hurriedly walked to his class.

After school Richie almost begged Eddie to just come home with him right then, but Eddie reminded him that he had to have Bill pick him up for the sake of their plan. 

Eddie lied to his mom yet again and told her that he would be spending the weekend at Bill’s family’s cabin. 

She was still hesitant about it... she was about anything that involved Eddie going somewhere without her, but she eventually gave in since it was Bill. 

“P-Poor Sonia. She n-never learns.” Bill laughed as he drove Eddie over to Richie’s.

“Well she would never have let me go if she knew what I was really doing.” Eddie pulled down the passenger side mirror and fixed his hair a bit. “I can hardly believe I’m doing it myself.” 

“I know! New Y-York! Richie must have his ho-hooks in d-deep.” 

Eddie couldn’t help but grin a little at his reflection. Richie really did have a kind of power over him. One that he loved. He loved that Richie could always make him step outside his comfort zone without ever making him feel scared.

“Yeah kind of.” Eddie confessed. 

When Bill dropped Eddie off he was greeted at the door by Aunt Molly. 

“Eddie! Nice to see you again!” She smiled brightly. 

“Nice to see you too.” Eddie nodded politely, immediately scouring the room for any sight of his trash mouth. 

Aunt Molly grinned at that. “He’s upstairs getting packed up.” 

“Well then I should hurry up there before he packs fireworks or something else completely unnecessary and dangerous.” 

Aunt Molly laughed. “Yeah, you’d better.”

Eddie gave her one last smile before starting up the stairs. 

As he got closer to Richie’s room he started to hear a jumble of loud voices and crashes and he began moving a little quicker towards the sound. 

Oh no. He was too late Richie already go a hold of the fireworks. 

“I mean it trashmouth! You better reconsider!” 

It was Bev. 

Eddie turned the corner to find Bev with her back pressed firmly against Richie’s closet as it wiggled vigorously behind her. She quickly locked the door and laughed maniacally. 

“Ha!” 

“Let me out you monster!” A muffled voice yelled from the other side of the closet door. 

“Not until you change your mind!” 

Eddie reluctantly stepped in, crossing his arms. “Ummm... what’s going on here?” 

“Ed’s!? Is that you?! Save me! She’s crazy!” Richie called out from inside the closet. 

Eddie stepped towards Bev carefully. “Bev, what’s going on?” 

“You guys are going to New York!” She exclaimed. 

Eddie froze, looking questioningly at her. “Yeah?” 

Bev huffed out a frustrated breath. “And you guys didn’t invite me! Going to New York is my dream! It’s like the fashion capital of the world!” 

“Bev, I told you this is a Romantic weekend getaway and you being there will kind of take away the romantic part!” Richie yelled, still stuck in the closet.

Bev ignored Richie and looked at Eddie with pleading eyes. “Eddie please can I come? I promise you won’t even know I’m there.” 

Eddie felt a little guilty... he really did just want it to be him and Richie but he knew if the tables were turned Bev would do it for them. 

“Well...” 

“No!” Richie cut him off. “Eddie, don’t give in to her!” 

Bev almost looked possessed as she whipped her head around towards the closet and stomped back over. She unlocked it quickly and opened the door without warning, making Richie fall face first onto the floor. 

“Ow.” Richie said, face pressed into the carpet. 

Bev pointed at him as he stood up. “Listen, you owe me and I promise I won’t bother you two on your sickeningly romantic trip... I just need to see the city.” 

“Bev...” Richie started as he fixed his glasses. 

“You can come Bev.” Eddie suddenly said. 

Bev turned towards Eddie, smiling from ear to ear. “Really? You mean it?!” She practically jumped on Him, hugging him and squealing. 

“Oh thank you... thank you! I gotta go get packed!” She said as she hurriedly ran out before either of them could say anything else. 

“Eddie, what the hell?!” Richie yelled when she was gone. 

“Richie, it’s fine.” Eddie shrugged. “She really wants to go.” 

Eddie lifted his suitcase on the bed and unzipped it to take out his list. “Alright, now I brought a list of things for you to bring so we-“

Eddie was cut off when he felt Richie reach around him from behind. 

“Baby, you just fucked up my plans to have you all to myself.” 

Eddie bit his lip and leaned back into Richie, loving the warmth that was engulfing him. 

He turned his head so that Richies lips ghosted over his ear, making him shiver as his breath hit him. 

He smelt like cigarettes... it should have made Eddie annoyed because Richie promised he’d try to quit, but Richie had felt so far away lately and being this close to him felt good. 

“Rich I...” 

Richie pressed a kiss into Eddie’s neck lovingly. “I’ve missed you. I wanted it to be just us.” 

Eddie suddenly felt a little annoyed. It wasn’t his fault that they hadn’t hung out all week. 

“Well if you didn’t spend all your time with James then you wouldn’t miss me as much.” Eddie snarled. He didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did. 

Richie pulled back and Eddie immediately missed him, turning around to see a sad look on his face. 

“Eddie, I told you I would stop hanging out with him if thats what you want... and this whole band thing... it would be cool but it’s not worth you hating me. I don’t... I don’t want you to hate me...” Richie was rambling now. 

“Rich, I don’t hate you?” Eddie said kind of surprised that Richie would ever think that. He sighed and took Richie’s hands. “If you really want to do this band thing, I think you should.” It was almost painful for him to say, but He trusted Richie. “But if James makes a move on you, I’m going to have to kill him Chee.” 

Richie laughed a little at that. “Okay, but I want to watch. Sounds hot.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and let go of Richie’s hands. “Why do you always have to make things sexual?” 

Richie smirked. “When it’s you, it’s always sexual.” 

Eddie looked down bashfully as Richie wiggled his eyebrows at him. 

“Shut up you idiot and let me help you pack.” Eddie said as he pushed Richie playfully. 

“Alright Eds... but I hope you are prepared for the sexiest, most romantic weekend of your life.” 

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t know about that Rich, now that Bev is coming with us.” 

“Yeah thanks for that...” Richie frowned. “But don’t worry. That won’t stop me from making you cream your pants.” He winked. 

“What a charmer.” Eddie cringed, but inside he felt his heart flutter. 

This was going to be a weekend to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday guys! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Also hoping everyone is staying healthy! Love you!


	17. The City

“C'mon spaghetti!” Richie shouted from the driveway after throwing his and Bev’s things in the back of the truck.

Eddie ignored Richie, taking his time to check off his list and triple check that he packed everything he needed. 

He was stalling and he knew it. 

After about five more minutes Richie came stomping in, looking beautifully relaxed with a dark purple hoodie thrown on, paired with some ripped light wash jeans. He wore a grey beanie to cover his messy curls that poked out at the bottom, framing his face. 

“Ed’s... I promise you’ve got everything. We are only going to be gone for one night.” Richie reasoned with him as he grabbed at Eddie’s bags. 

Eddie slapped a stern hand down over Richie’s before he could take off with his things. 

“Just hang on a second... I have to... count my socks again. 

Richie sighed out. “Eddie, baby. You know I find your extensive preparing adorable, but We’ve got to go... it’s eight fifteen and we were supposed to leave at seven thirty." 

“Since when are you so punctual?” Eddie asked, kind of annoyed at how pushy Richie was being. Eddie was still in the process of fully talking himself onto this, okay?!

Richie grinned and picked up Eddie’s things anyways. “Since I have a romantic day planned for us that can’t start until we actually get there.” 

Eddie gave him a questioning look. “You planned stuff?” The thought of giving Richie free reign of their trip excited Eddie, but also made him slightly nauseated. 

Richie leaned in and kissed him on the forehead. “Don’t worry Eds, it’s all very safe family fun.” He said in a game-show host type voice before making a beeline with Eddie’s things to the truck. 

Eddie watched as he left, shaking his head and giving himself one last pep talk before following him out. He was super excited to spend time with Richie and go on their first official date but the city always frightened him. His mother had always told him how dirty and dangerous the city was. Even telling him about people she had known who had gone and gotten diseases just from sitting on a bench. Eddie knew now that that probably wasn’t true and was just one of his mothers lies to keep him from moving away from her someday, but the fear was still there. 

“I call shotgun!” Bev yelled before jumping into the front seat and resting her feet up on the dash. 

Before she could close the door, Richie stepped in front of it. “Sorry Miss Marsh, but that seat is reserved.” 

Bev spun around to see Eddie lugging his toiletry bag out the door, heading towards the truck. 

“What, C'mon-"

Richie held a hand up to silence her. “You aren’t even here. remember?” He reminded her smugly. 

Bev rolled her eyes, pouting. 

Eddie wheezed a little bit, embarrassingly, as he tossed his (ridiculously large) toiletry bag into the back. 

“It’s fine Rich. I don’t mind-"

Richie cupped a hand over Eddie’s mouth and shushed him aggressively. 

“This is a romantic friggin trip and I want my love to sit next to me.” He said, obviously very serious and unwavering on the matter.

Eddie pushed Richie’s hand off of him with a disgusted look on his face. “Gross, you idiot. Your hand smells like cigarettes.” 

Richie ignored Eddie’s insult (although it was more of a fact.) and continued to stare down at Bev, willing her to move with his eyes. 

Bev seemed annoyed but started to get up to move to the back. She did promise she would stay out of the way after all.

“Fine, but I’m in charge of the radio.” She huffed out. 

The car ride there mostly consisted of Bev and Richie singing loudly to Queen music and Eddie frantically throwing his hands on the wheel when Richie got too into it and stopped paying attention. 

"Its a miracle you guys haven't died yet." Eddie huffed out. 

"Relax Eds. We'll cool it with the karaoke... you look tired. You should rest." 

Eddie was reluctant. He didn't want to leave Richie driving completely unsupervised but he was completely exhausted from worrying all night long about their trip and getting up a few times to pack something he'd remembered while he was tossing and turning. 

"Okay, but both eyes on the road Rich. I'm serious." 

Eddie closed his eyes when Richie nodded his assurance and surprisingly drifted quickly to the low hum of Richie's mix tape that was playing The Cure's Lovesong. 

Eddie woke up to the feeling of Richie tapping him on the shoulder and whispering. “Eds we’re here.” 

Eddie’s eyes fluttered open and he immediately rubbed them, sitting up and looking around. He was surprised that they made it in one piece. 

Richie was looking at him lovingly. “You and Bev passed out like two hours ago. you looked so cute over there I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I almost hit like five signs and an old lady.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Well I’m glad that my cuteness almost got us killed.” He stretched and looked back at a still sleeping Bev. “Should we wake-" 

“BEVVIE WE ARE HERE! WAKE UP SUNSHINE!” Richie suddenly shouted without warning. 

Bev shot up in a hurry, looking startled. “Richie what the fuck?! I almost had a heart attack.” She said, gripping her chest. She promptly smacked a the laughing, unapologetic trashmouth on the head and then they got out to grab their things. 

Eddie couldn’t believe the hotel that Richie had picked for them. It was big and fancy, like the ones he had seen in the movies. There was a big chandelier in the entry and majestic red patterned wallpaper throughout the entire place. 

Eddie felt a little under dressed in his over sized grey sweatshirt. Everyone else there seemed to be dressed up - mostly in business attire. The three of them stuck out like a sore thumb and were definitely the youngest people there that Eddie could see. 

“Are you sure we are in the right place?” Eddie heard Bev whisper to Richie as they made their way to the front desk, feeling eyes on them.

Richie didn’t answer. He just smiled and continued confidently to the desk where a spunky young woman with beachy blonde curls stood. 

“Hello, can I help you?” She asked, all chipper and seemingly eager to help. 

“Room for Tozier.” Richie said with a grin. He knew how impressive this place was and he was soaking up the shock and aw emanating from Eddie and Bev. 

The woman started clicking away at her large, boxy computer.

“Ah, yes. Mr. Tozier. One room for one night. Correct?”

Eddie couldn’t help but grin at the name. “Mr. Tozier.”

Richie nodded. “The honeymoon suite.” He said, accentuating the T and glancing at Eddie who was now blushing. 

The woman glanced around at Bev and Eddie standing behind him, obviously questioning their dynamic but refused to show it and kept smiling. Her hospitality almost frightening. 

“Here you are.” She said as she handed Richie a key. “It’s going to be room 305 on the third floor.” 

“Excellent.” Richie said as he turned on his heel and started walking merrily towards the elevators. 

“Come along sweeties.” Richie called out, further confusing the woman. He was doing it on purpose, Eddie thought. 

“Richie I have to say, this place is incredible. I don’t know what you did to get us in here but whatever it was I’m okay with it.” Eddie said looking around as they got out of the elevator and stepped into the hall, which looked just at glamorous as the lobby had. Eddie began rethinking his statement immediately, coming up with about a million things he would not be okay with. “Well maybe I wouldn’t be okay with anything.” He corrected. 

Richie swung his arm over Eddie’s shoulder and bumped the sides of their heads together. “Don’t worry Eds spagheds. I didn’t blow a rich guy or anything. I’m my own sugar daddy.” Richie turned a bit to whisper in a groaning Eddie’s ear. A move he always knew turned him to jelly. “I can be your sugar daddy too.” 

Eddie pushed Richie off of him and laughed. “Yeah right, that money from your days of dealing can’t hold up much longer.” 

Richie couldn’t help the frown that appeared on his lips. The guilt on his face was blatant. 

Eddie noticed the little change in Richie at his comment and mirrored his frown. “What? Do you miss it or something?” Eddie asked. He meant for it to sound like a joke but it came out more like a serious question. 

Richie didn’t meet his eyes when he spoke and just continued to walk to their door, fumbling with the keys. “Yeah Eds... I totally miss getting beaten almost to death and blackmailed.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm but it still came out nervous. 

Eddie stared at the side of Richie’s face as he opened the door. He couldn’t place it but Richie seemed weird all of a sudden, but maybe he just didn’t like rehashing his past… or maybe Richie was just weird. 

“Well good... because I never want anything to-" Eddie started but choked on his words as Richie swung their door open, holding it for Eddie. 

Eddie gasped as he took in the sight of their room. There were red rose petals leading from the doorway to their bed where they had been scattered on top of the white, plush comforter. There was a large Jacuzzi type tub in the corner and a plethora of fancy soaps and bath salts lining the wall of the tub. The room was dimly lit making it look even more dreamy and romantic. 

“Richie...” Eddie said breathlessly as he stepped in further, taking in every detail. He never imagined that anyone would ever do something like this for him. “This... this is...” 

“Extra as fuck.” Bev laughed as she walked in behind Richie who groaned at the remembrance of her presence. 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at that. “A little.” He agreed, walking up to Richie and standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “You know I hate cheesy stuff like this Rich.” He really did, but he couldn’t help but feel giddy and his lips betrayed him, curling into a bright smile. 

“I know you do baby.” Richie grinned. “But I love it.” 

Eddie laughed and shook his head because yeah, Richie did like this kind of stuff. He was the biggest, cheesiest corn ball on the planet and Eddie loved him so much. 

They looked at each other for a minute more, smiling and sharing the moment when it was cut short by the sound of Bev flopping dramatically on the large king bed, making the rose petals fly up around her. 

“SO COMFY!” 

Eddie looked at her and then back at Richie who looked less than pleased with her. He could see now why Richie really didn’t want her to come. The room screamed sex all night long and Eddie was sure that’s what Richie was going for... now ruined by Bev third wheeling. 

Richie sighed and trotted over to Bev, forcing a big, fake smile. “Bevvie, you know I love you but I hope you know you’re getting the couch tonight.” 

Bev rolled her eyes. “This bed is big enough to fit all seven of the losers but if you want to be selfish and force me onto a cold, hard couch so be it.” She tried her best to guilt him but Richie didn’t budge, knowing how Bev worked. 

“I think you’ll survive on the plushy, silk couch.” Richie laughed as he turned back towards Eddie. 

“You monster!” Bev yelled, throwing a hand dramatically over her forehead. 

“Alright Eds... we should get going.” Richie said checking his watch.

Eddie nodded, feeling his stomach become like a breeding ground for butterflies. Why was he so nervous? “Okay just give me a minute to get ready.” 

Eddie quickly swapped out his grey sweatshirt for a nice navy blue sweater and some khaki pants. He tousled his brown waves, trying to calm his bed head from sleeping in the car. It didn’t really work but he shrugged it off... maybe the messy look was high fashion in New York or something. 

When he walked out of the bathroom he found Richie in the middle of changing his shirt. Eddie’s eyes fell to Richie’s bare stomach and chest and couldn’t help but get caught up in it for a moment. The way his jeans hung low on his hips, revealing the deep V that disappeared into his waistband, along with the dark curly trail of hair that danced under his navel. 

Damn. 

Richie, clueless to the way Eddie was staring turned towards him as he pulled on a black v neck 

Richie looked Eddie up and down and grinned. “You look so cute baby.” 

Eddie usually hated being called cute but right now it made his legs feel like jelly. He needed to get it together. 

After Richie got his shirt on he paired it with a black leather jacket, pulling it over his thin but broad shoulders. 

Damn. Damn. Damn. 

Richie was obviously pulling out all the stops to make Eddie lose it. He knew exactly what got Eddie going - tight jeans that hugged his form perfectly. Highlighting his ass and thighs. The leather jacket looked fucking good on him and he knew it, glancing at Eddie with a smug little smile as he fixed his collar and tucked his necklaces under his shirt. 

Eddie was suddenly regretting his decision to let Bev come. 

“Are you purposely trying to outdo me?” Eddie asked, trying to sound annoyed to make it seem like he wasn’t completely enamored with Richie.

Richie laughed at that. “What? Eds no.” He walked towards Eddie with a smile and interlocked their fingers together. “I’m just trying to keep up... you always look so good.” 

Eddie blushed. “That jacket looks... really good on you.” He admitted bashfully as Richie looked down at him. “but it kind of makes me want to take it off of you.” 

Eddie relished the way Richie’s eyes lit up at that. “Oh really?” Richie leaned in to ghost his lips against Eddie’s, teasing him. 

Eddie could feel the warmth of Richie’s breath graze over his mouth and he craved to taste him. He felt Richie get closer and was ready to feel them crash together when Richie started to whisper. “Well I guess you shouldn’t have told Bev she could come.”

Eddie whimpered as Richie backed off without another word to grab his keys off the nightstand. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. Richie was going to torture him all night.

Bev was still sitting on the bed, looking through the things to do catalog - oblivious to the exchange Richie and him had just had. 

“We are leaving Bev.” Richie said and she just waved him off. Richie suddenly sounded like a concerned brother. “You’ll be okay on your own? You’ll be careful?” 

Eddie smiled at Richie’s concern, even when he was annoyed at Bev he couldn’t help but care.

“Yeah yeah yeah... I’ll be careful.” She smiled softly. “Now go have fun on your date.” 

Richie quickly pressed a kiss to Bev’s cheek before turning around back towards Eddie. “Ready to be wooed?” He asked as he took Eddie’s hand in his own and led them to the door. 

Eddie smiled at that. He couldn’t help how nervous he felt. He knew it was just Richie. His best friend. The boy he’s known forever, but somehow that made him more nervous. He’d never been on a real date before and he wasn’t really sure what was expected of him.

As they walked out the door and down the hall they passed a few people and Eddie instinctively tried to let go of Richie’s hand. Richie held tightly, looking over at him with gentle eyes, reminding him that it was okay.

Eddie smiled up at him and nodded. He could feel his heart beating in his chest as he paraded through the hotel, hand in hand with the boy he loved, for the whole world to see. It was something that should have been so normal but it felt like some kind of rebel and it fueled Eddie. He felt proud - even with the few weird looks they got. He was surprised to find that most people didn't care or even notice them. This really wasn't Derry. 

When they got to Richie’s truck, he opened the passenger door for Eddie. 

“What a gentleman.” Eddie giggled before getting in. 

They drove a little ways, before hitting time square and Eddie felt excitement take over him. It was so big and was less dirty than he’d imagined... sure, there was garbage on the streets and more than a few surfaces he wouldn’t ever be touching, but there was something so beautiful and dreamy about the city. About being there with Richie, who was smiling so brightly at him as he pressed his face against the window and took it all in with childlike wonder. 

“Richie look at that! And that!” Eddie pointed every which way at all the sights. 

Richie laughed. “Yeah. It’s pretty cool.” 

“You don’t seem that impressed.” Eddie said, furrowing his brow at Richie’s indifference. 

“I’ve been here a few times before.” Richie suddenly looked a little sad. “My parents took me.” 

Eddie felt sorry that he had said anything and reached his hand over to squeeze Richie’s arm to which he just shrugged it off. 

“It’s okay... this is better.” Richie smiled. 

They pulled into a parking garage a few minutes away. 

“So what are we doing?” Eddie asked as they jumped out of the car. 

“Well I figured we could do some touristy stuff since it’s your first time.” 

Eddie nodded excitedly at that. He was excited to see everything up close. 

They walked a little ways back towards time square where there were a billion people roaming the streets. 

There were loud sounds coming from every direction, car horns and people yelling. It was a little overwhelming but Eddie held tight to Richie’s arm, making him feel a little better. 

As they walked, Richie couldn't help but feel a little on edge, like someone was watching them. There was an eerie feeling of a presence that followed them. He shrugged it off... Eddie didn't seem to notice it after all... Maybe he shouldn't have smoked that blunt on the car ride there. 

They spent the next couple hours just roaming the streets and exploring the stores. As it got darker out the city lit up. It was all decorated for Christmas - making red and green lights dance along the buildings. Eddie looked up at Richie who stood close at his side and took in how beautiful he looked under the glow of the city. It suited him and Eddie wondered if Richie would move to a place like this someday. Maybe he'd go with him. 

After a while Richie seemed to start leading them somewhere. They began drifting away from the main hustle and bustle and found themselves in a more calm area. 

"Richie where are we going?" Eddie asked. 

"You'll see... I hope you're hungry." He said cryptically. 

Eddie could have died when he finally saw their destination. It was a beautiful old building with a large sign in the front that said Le Grand. It was a french restaurant. 

No way. Eddie thought. No way Richie has this good of taste. He'd never seen him eat anything fancier than a grilled cheese with garlic. 

Eddie was shocked when they actually went in. It wasn't a joke. holy shit. 

Richie gave the man at the front his name for the reservation and he led them to their table. He brought them to the back where there were less people seated and it was more dimly lit. As they sat Eddie looked around at the beautiful restaurant in aw and took it all in. Richie really went all out. His heart swelled when he saw the look on Richie’s face. He was looking at Eddie with a big dopey grin and the widest set of the most beautiful brown eyes Eddie had ever seen.

“Richie...” Eddie found himself speechless. “How did you...?” 

Richie shrugged “It pays to be a criminal.” 

Eddie gave him a sour look and Richie suddenly felt a little bad. He shouldn’t be joking about that when Eddie didn’t know the truth. Richie cleared his throat, trying to change the subject. “I wanted to spend the rest of the money I had on you. I wanted to do something special for you.” 

Eddie stared at the bashful expression on Richie's face and suddenly realized something. He was whipped. This was the boy... man of his dreams. "Richie, I know I don't say it enough but you're amazing. I love you." 

Richie smiled brightly at that. "I love you too." 

The food was as amazing as the beautiful restaurant would suggest and Eddie stuffed himself since Richie told him to go wild. 

When the waitress came to ask if they wanted any dessert Eddie waved a white flag in defeat. Not so surprisingly Richie said yes and got the lemon cake. 

When it came Richie stuck his fork in it, bringing it to his mouth and moaning at the rich flavor. The creamy white frosting was lingering on his lips and dripping a little onto his chin. 

Eddie was sure it wasn’t meant to be suggestive in any way, but the way Richie licked at the white substance should have been illegal. 

Eddie couldn’t help but want it to be his own substance Richie was licking.... fuck that’s gross right? Eddie couldn’t believe how his dick twitched in his pants at that thought. He imagined seeing Richie on his knees in front of him. It had been so amazing the first time and he craved to have Richie's mouth on him again. 

“Ed’s?” Richie questioned when he saw Eddie looking dizzily at him. “You okay?” 

Eddie couldn’t take it. Richie had looked so good all night and all these lights and new surroundings were so sappy and romantic... and now Richie’s mouth was taunting him. He needed to be alone with him. Right fucking now. 

“I... everything’s fine... it’s just that damn frosting.” Eddie blushed. “It looks like...” He didn’t want to finish that statement, hoping Richie would get it. 

Richie definitely heard him loud and clear, looking at his fork, covered in the sticky cream and back at Eddie, grinning. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is my enjoyment of eating this cake distracting?” Richie brought the fork closer to his mouth, sticking his bubblegum tongue out and licking it, obscenely. 

“It’s just so good Eds... I can’t help myself.” Richie said through heavy eyelids, innocently. 

Eddie really regretted telling him now, of course he would use it to torture him. 

Eddie watched him as he continued to slowly eat his cake, keeping eye contact with Eddie. 

“Let’s go back to the hotel.” Eddie spat out quickly, putting a hand in his lap to apply some pressure to his growing erection. 

“Please. Now.” Eddie almost begged.

Richie laughed darkly. “What are we going to do when we get there? Bev’s here remember?” 

“She’s probably still out.” Eddie snapped back. 

Richie smiled at Eddie’s eagerness which would usually annoy Eddie but he really was so desperate to get his hands on him. Not just because he looked so fucking good but because he took care of Eddie so good all night. 

“Fine.” Richie agreed. “But only because I’m getting something sweeter than this cake.” 

Eddie giggled a little at that. 

Richie speedily called the waitress over and took care of the checks. Eddie could tell that he was just as eager to get him alone as Eddie was. 

They were mostly quiet walking back to the car but Richie kept a strong arm over Eddie to keep him close and protect him from the chilly December wind. 

Richie felt the slight burn of eyes on him again as they walked. He turned around and looked in all directions through the crowd to see if anyone was watching them. 

“What is it?” Eddie shivered. 

Richie looked for a minute more but didn’t see anything. “Nothing baby.” He said as he pulled Eddie close to him again and kept walking. He was probably paranoid. He was just stressed from all the lying and sneaking around. No one was there. No one was following him. Everything was fine. 

He kept repeating that in his head, hoping that if he did it enough times he would believe it. 

As soon as they got back to the hotel Eddie couldn’t stop from twitching, wanting to rip Richie’s clothes off of him and go at it. 

Richie hurried with the keys as he tried to get the door open. As soon as he did Eddie pounced on him, pushing him through the doorway and kissing him rough and good as the door shut behind them making a large BOOF noise. 

“Mmm... your so fucking hot... so hot when your... so hot for me.” Richie panted between the messy kisses. 

“Take this off.” Eddie breathed as he pulled on Richie’s jacket.

“I thought you liked it?” Richie grinned against Eddie’s lips as he shimmied out of it. 

“Oh I do.” Eddie said, sucking in his bottom lip. “I want you to fuck me with just that on.” 

Richie’s eyes widened at that and he looked like he might actually explode. He smiled from ear to ear and Eddie could tell he was about to say something stupid so he kissed him again forcefully to shut him up before he ruined the moment. 

Eddie was getting lost in the feeling of Richie and the sounds he was making as he licked into his mouth and rubbed at his chest and stomach. 

“Ahhemmm.” A loud voice suddenly appeared from the corner of the room. 

Eddie quickly snapped out of it and looked over at an annoyed looking Bev who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Eddie’s face pinched up and he flew away from Richie who was looking completely fucked out already, with his curly hair sticking every which way and his cheeks flushed. 

Eddie could feel his face get hot with embarrassment. He turned to Richie who he was surprised to find smiling. 

“Did you know she was here that whole time?!” Eddie squealed. 

Richie shrugged unapologetically. “She said to pretend she wasn’t here... so I did.” 

Eddie scoffed at him. “You are unbelievable.”

Bev laughed. “It’s okay... I’m only mildly scarred.” 

Eddie watched as Bev zipped up a pair of high heeled boots. She looked all dolled up, wearing a short jean skirt and ripped red stockings. She paired it with a lacy black top and big hoop earrings. Eddie had never seen Bev so dressed up before. Other than their school dances and even then she kept it pretty modest. 

Richie made a howling noise at Bev. “Damn hot stuff, what’s the occasion?”

Eddie rolled his eyes at Richie. He was such a shameless flirt. 

“A couple guys I met told me I should go to this really cool club tonight... The Hit?” She smiled at the pair of them. “You guys should come with.” 

Richie was obviously more into the idea than Eddie was. “Nice! A party for my honey and I to shake it!” He said as he moved his hips from side to side. 

Eddie looked at him with nervous eyes. “I don’t know... how would we even get in? Don’t you have to be 21?” 

Richie smiled a little guilty at him and reached into the front pocket of his bag to pull out a card and handed it to Eddie. 

Richard Tozier. Height 6’4. Eyes brown. Age 21.

“A fake? Why am I not surprised?” 

Richie handed him another card, shifting his weight nervously from his toe to his heel.

Edward Kaspbrak. Height 5’8. Eyes brown. Age 21 

Eddie looked up at his boyfriend and back down at the card. He didn’t know whether to be impressed or angry. 

“How did you... when did you...” He couldn’t find the words. 

Richie shrugged. “I had it made just In case, ya know?” 

Eddie sighed. He knew what Richie meant - In case he ever wanted to do something fun. He wanted to do this for Richie. He secretly always worried that someone like him, with such a big personality would eventually get bored of him - the overly cautious, neurotic mama’s boy. 

“But what about...” Eddie started. 

“getting it on?” Richie finished. “We’ll come back before Bev and go at it like wild animals.”

The imagery should have been gross but Eddie actually found himself enthralled by the idea of him and Richie on the ground, wrapped in each other, sweaty and panting. Desperately feeling each other, trying to get closer. God he wanted that. 

“Besides, all the dancing and rubbing against each other will be hell of a good foreplay.” Richie added. 

Eddie bit his lip and nodded. He didn’t know how Richie did it. How he made him want all these things that he never would have wanted to do without him. "alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! I hope everyone is doing okay! I hope you guys enjoy this little trip to NYC... I've only been there once so i'm kind of just guessing on most everything. The next chapter should be up tomorrow or Tuesday because its very close to being done and its gonna get a little crazy so buckle up. Love love love you all!


	18. The City Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I didn’t quite make Monday or Tuesday... sorrrrryyyyy. But 4:00am Wednesday isn’t too far off right?! Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thing are getting a little intense...

“You have to let me dress you!” Bev yelled as she hopped off the bed in excitement. 

“I don’t know Bev… what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Eddie questioned, looking down at himself. 

“Nothing… if you're going to church.” She said bluntly. 

Richie couldn’t help but laugh a little at that to which Eddie turned to glare at him. “I thought you said I looked cute?” 

“You do baby. So so cute.” 

“But I could make you hot.” Bev let out. 

Eddie furrowed his brow at her. “Hot?” He repeated. Eddie had never thought of himself like that. He was just a dorky little virgin boy. (Well, virgin until a week ago... courtesy of Richard Trashmouth Tozier.) 

Bev saw the reluctance in Eddie’s face and knew exactly what strings to pull to make this happen. She quickly began to dig around in her bag until she found what she was looking for and pulled out a light blue crop top with some home made fringes at the bottom.

Eddie pinched up his face at the piece of clothing. "No way." 

“Richie, don’t you think Eddie would look SO good in this?” Bev asked, turning to Richie and ignoring Eddie’s blatant dislike for the showy top. 

Richie looked back and forth between Eddie and the fabric, almost drooling at the thought of him in it. He just nodded dizzily, making big, wanting eyes at Eddie. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. It was more at himself for the sudden change of heart he felt just because of Richie's reaction to it. He couldn't help it. He craved Richie's attention. 

“See Eddie? Let me dress you… please.” Bev begged. 

“I guess.” He said finally with a breath. If he really hated it he could always change. 

Bev made Richie wait out in the room while she took Eddie into the bathroom to change. Which only made him feel more ridiculous... as if there were going to be some big reveal like in the movies. 

“Oh my god. Eddie you look SO good.” Bev said as she marveled at her work. “Richie is going to lose his mind.” 

Eddie smiled at the thought. He looked himself over in the mirror, staring at the pink glitter that was scattered over his cheeks and eyelids, catching the light as he moved. Bev had forced it on him but he actually kind of liked it. 

“Okay let's do this.” He breathed as he put a hand on the bathroom door handle and twisted. 

Richie immediately lifted his head that had been resting in his palm and immediately locked eyes with Eddie. His jaw dropped and he let out a small, involuntarily whimper at the sight. 

Eddie was wearing the crop top that Bev gave him, revealing his slightly toned and tanned stomach through the fringes. She also convinced him to squeeze into a pair of her tight jeans, hugging his small but athletic figure perfectly. He thought the jean jacket that matched with the jeans was a bit much but Bev insisted, telling him that it “completed the look.” 

Richie clenched his chest dramatically and dropped to the floor. “I… I think I’ve seen an angel. This is it for me!” 

Eddie laughed at his boyfriend's dumb and cute reaction. “Rich, get up ya idiot.” 

Richie crawled towards him. “Fuck, anything you say angel face.” He stood up and grazed his hands slowly up Eddie’s sides, pressing their bodies together. “Fuck baby. You're so hot. Do you even know what you do to me?” 

Richie was looking at him so intensely Eddie thought he might melt from the heat of his gaze - like he was hungry for him. Eddie just blushed, loving how Richie's attention was solely on him. He felt accomplished in being the thing that could make Richie slow down his usually scattered brain. 

“Alright, alright.” Bev said, obviously eager to leave now. "Lets get going, lovebirds.” 

“What?!” Richie yelled, pouting at Bev. “What about me? You’re not gonna do me up real nice too?” He asked in his southern belle voice. 

Bev rolled her eyes at him. “Rich, don’t act like I didn’t totally pick that whole outfit you are wearing.” She laughed. “You have the fashion sense of a six year old.” She patted his chest and handed him the jacket that Eddie had removed earlier. “Now let’s go!”. 

Richie gasped as if he were actually offended "Nuh uh! I at least dress like i'm nine, okay?" He said as Bev just hurried them out the door. 

It took them a while to get to the club since the only direction they had was a sloppily written address on Bev’s wrist that the guys had written for her. When they finally made it though, it was hard to miss. The building was huge and all lit up - the changing strobe lights emanating from the windows and spilling into the parking lot. The music was loud enough that they could hear it from inside the truck as they pulled up. 

“Holy shit, look at that line!” Richie yelled as they parked. The three of them hopped out and stared at the mile long line that wrapped around the building. “We’ll be waiting all night!” 

Bev didn’t seem concerned by the wait and darted straight for the front of the line. 

“Bev, what are you doing? Bev!” Richie called after her. 

She turned towards them before reaching the front. “Shut up. Follow my lead.” She spat. 

She walked up to one of the scary looking men standing at the entrance and quickly began batting her eyes at him and twirling her curly red hair around her pointer finger. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at her act. “This is so degrading.” He whispered to Richie. 

Richie shrugged. “She’s smart.” He stated bluntly. “She’s hot and she knows how to use it.” 

Eddie’s face pinched up at that. “You can’t just tell me that you think other people are hot all the time.” 

Richie laughed a little at his boyfriend's blatant jealousy. “She is hot but she’s also like my sister… it’s a platonic kind of hot.” 

“Still.” Eddie huffed out. Shaking a little in the cold. 

Richie put his arm around Eddie and pulled him close to his chest. Eddie was still annoyed but his warmth was so inviting. Richie was always like a portable heater and it was too good to pull away - Bev’s Jean jacket wasn’t doing anything to protect him from the frigid December air. 

“And if we are really going to talk about hotness levels you’ve got her by like a million in my book.” Richie whispered. “You skipped hot and went straight for scorching… especially in that little outfit."

Eddie jumped a little when he felt Richie's hand swiftly move down his back and squeeze at his ass. He wanted to scold Richie for doing that in front of all those people and embarrassing him but he couldn’t find it in himself. It would have been a lie. He couldn’t let Richie know that Of course so he opted to just say “you’re dumb.” And nuzzle a little further into his chest, internally forgiving him for saying that Bev was hot. 

They watched as Bev worked her magic on the man and then stood on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear. The man’s face changed as she did and he suddenly moved aside and waved her, Eddie and Richie through. Just like that. 

“Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked.” Bev said, a little surprised by her own achievement as they walked through the doors.

“Why? Were you worried that you may have lost your touch?” Richie grinned at her. 

“No, you know I always got it.” She laughed. “I didn’t even need to flirt with him. I just did that for an extra push. The guys I met told me to just say “butterscotch” and they’d let us in. It’s like a secret password or something… I thought they were fucking with me.” 

“Butterscotch?” Eddie repeated, incredulous. 

“Yeah. Butterscotch.” She laughed. 

When they walked in there was another guy waiting to check their IDs and Eddie tensed. 

He held his breath as the man looked at his fake and back at him. This wasn’t going to work. He thought. He didn’t even look seventeen let alone twenty one. 

He was surprised when the man handed the card back to him and waved him through. 

“See? What I tell ya Eds… worked perfectly.” Richie said as he swung an arm around a relieved Eddie.

The music was deafeningly loud and seemed to making the whole place shake... or maybe it was just the hundreds of sweaty drunk people dancing and bumping into each other. 

It was packed inside and Eddie's face felt like it had shriveled up as he felt the thick air around him. "You can do this." He whispered to himself, looking at Richie as he held his hand and pulled him further in. He seemed excited to share this with him and Eddie didn't want to ruin it. 

“This is awesome!” Richie yelled over the music. 

“Yeah!” Bev yelled back. “I’m gonna go find those guys! I’ll see you later! Let me know if you leave before me!” 

Eddie and Richie looked at each other and grinned, knowing that they were absolutely leaving before her.

After Bev disappeared into the thick mess of bodies Richie shouted to Eddie. “Do you want something to drink?!” 

Eddie thought about it. Using a fake to get into a 21+ club was one thing but also using it to get alcohol was maybe overdoing it for him. His mother would absolutely die if she knew. He was about to tell Richie no but thought last minute that it might actually be a good thing. It would loosen him up a little… he wanted to dance with Richie and tease him relentlessly but he knew he needed to be a little drunk for that. 

“Sure!” He yelled back. 

Richie smiled and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Eddie to feel incredibly awkward standing there alone. he noticed a few guys were looking at him and he felt himself getting even more uncomfortable. Even if it was good attention Eddie wasn't into it. He covered his bare stomach with his arms and started to regret letting Bev dress him in such a promiscuous outfit. He only really did it for Richie. The other eyes on him just made him feel weird. 

Eddie became increasingly more nervous the longer Richie was gone. he continued to sway back and forth with the beat so he didn’t stick out as bad among all the dancing people. As he moved stiffly he thought he saw a glimpse of familiar golden brown curls. He quickly did a double take but whoever it was had disappeared into the crowd. 

Get it together. Eddie thought. There’s no way he’s here. 

Richie came back a few minutes later with a couple shots. “Here you go baby!” 

“What took you so long?!” 

Richie’s face said it all. He was flushed from his cheeks to the bit of his chest that peaked out from his v neck. He was drunk. 

“Sorry Spaghetti. Had a few shots at the bar and then someone got me a drink.” 

Richie held up a half drank martini in his other hand. 

“Wait, someone got you a drink?” Who?!” Eddie asked, kind of annoyed. In the thirty minutes Richie was gone he managed to get hit on. Of course. 

Richie shrugged messily. “Don’t know. Twas a secret. Shhhhhhh.” Richie came close to Eddie’s face pressing a finger to his mouth. 

“I can’t believe you’re wasted already.” Eddie rolled his eyes at how sloppy Richie was and cursed himself for somehow still finding him adorable as fuck. 

He took the shots from Richie's hand and took them down like a champ. Coughing a bit and cringing at the sharp burn. 

“Let’s go.” Eddie said, pulling Richie onto the dance floor. He started slow, just swaying a little, letting the warm alcohol settle in his stomach. Richie started going crazy right away. Flailing his long, skinny arms all over the place, making Eddie laugh at his antics. 

Richie suddenly locked eyes with Eddie and made a "come here" motion with his finger. Eddie smiled and obliged, getting more into the music and moving his hips from side to side.

When their bodies met, they stuck like glue, not wanting to separate ever again. Their chests were flush together and Eddie didn't even care if anyone was staring. It was just him and Richie in that moment, pressing every part of themselves together. He loved the way he could feel Richie feeling the music. His body reacting to the sounds and to Eddie. 

Richie pressed his forehead to Eddie's, rubbing their noses together and ghosting his lips over Eddie's. 

Before Eddie could give into the urge to kiss him, he turned around and pressed his ass into Richie's front. grinding against him teasingly. He felt a surge of confidence roll through him as Richie grabbed a hold of his hips and lightly moved into him too. 

They spent a while just like that. Teasing each other and dancing their asses off. Eddie was hard now but Richie gave him just enough friction that it wasn't super uncomfortable. He was right... this was the best foreplay ever. Being able to touch and to see, but not enough. Craving more, but not being able to get it even though it’s right there in front of you. It was intoxicating. 

Eddie suddenly felt the need to pee and decided to just go. Richie was so drunk and into dancing that he probably wouldn’t even notice he was gone. 

Eddie hurried in the bathroom, relieving himself and splashing some water onto his sweaty face. 

When he walked back out where he’d left his drunken boyfriend he stopped dead in his tracks and his stomach turned at the scene displayed right in front of him. He couldn’t believe it. There’s no way this is real. He rubbed his eyes and blinked hoping the horrible image would evaporate and he’d find himself passed out in the bathroom. That would be better than what was really happening. 

Right there, in the middle of the dance floor was Richie, still dancing his ass off but now he was pressed up against someone. Their hands caressed his hips and moved with him. His groin pressed hard into Richie. 

It was James. 

Eddie charged at him, pushing him off Richie with a loud grunt. “What the fuck?!” Eddie’s thoughts were racing and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. 

Richie felt the jolt of James being pushed off of him and turned around, his eyes were glossed over and he looked absolutely out of it. “Ed’s? Wait. What’s going on?” Richie turned and squinted at James. “James?” 

Eddie suddenly realized that Richie hadn’t known that it was James behind him and he must have thought it was still Eddie. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Eddie asked, seething. “Are you a fucking stalker or something?!” 

James didn’t answer and just stared at Eddie. He looked like he might push Eddie back, or maybe punch him. There was a part of Eddie that wished he would because he knew Richie would lose his shit on him. 

Richie stepped between them, on wobbly legs. “What’s going on?” He asked again. He turned to James. “Have you been following us all day?” 

James’s face turned more soft and less dangerous when Richie talked to him and it lit a burning fire inside Eddie that he’d never felt before. 

“No!" He laughed, trying to make a joke out of it. "My dad and I come to New York all the time! This is a popular club. Jeez. Fucking paranoid much?!”

Eddie pushed past Richie and pointed an accusing finger at James. “Why were you groping my fucking boyfriend?!” 

“He looked lonely.” James grinned. 

Eddie could have lost it. He really could have choked James out right then and there. Eddie took a deep breath in and tried to collect himself before he landed himself in jail for assault. 

“You need to fucking leave.” He said sternly. Pressing against the hand Richie held up to keep him and James at a distance from each other. 

“What, are you going to make me?!” James yelled back. 

“Guys… don’t.” Richie said weakly. Eddie noticed Richie’s hand was shaking against him. The anger he felt suddenly subsided when he saw Richie struggling to stand. 

“Rich?” 

Richie suddenly keeled over and puked all over the floor, making the people around them move out of the way. Some of them were groaning and yelling “C’mon dude!” 

Eddie caught him before he fell, his body falling limp into his arms. 

“Fuck Rich, what’s wrong?” Eddie asked, worry shaking his voice. Richie had never gotten this drunk before and he hadn’t even had that much to drink. 

Richie just mumbled nonsense at him.

“Fuck. fuck. fuck.” Eddie said as he used all of his strength to help Richie to a chair in the corner of the room. He grabbed the sides of Richie’s face, forcing him to look at him. 

“Rich, I’m gonna go find Bev. I'll be right back. Stay here.” 

Eddie looked around to find that James had disappeared. What a fucking asshole. 

He pushed through the people, frantically searching for Bev. 

When he finally found her she was dancing with a group of guys that he assumed were the ones she’d mentioned earlier. 

He ran up to her, tears in his eyes. “Bev! Richie… he’s so drunk. I don’t know what happened!” 

“Woah. Woah. Woah. Slow down.” Bev said, rubbing Eddie’s arm soothingly as tears started to spill down his cheeks. Eddie opened his mouth to start explaining again but stopped when James appeared - walking up to one of the guys bev had been hanging out with and whispered in his ear. 

"hey!" Eddie yelled at him. 

Jame’s head shot up towards Eddie, groaning when he realized it was him. “Where’s your boyfriend?” He asked in mocking tone. 

“Right where you left him when he started puking his guts out. Thanks for just leaving. I thought you were supposed to be his friend?” 

James just threw him an unapologetic look and shrugged. “You’re all he needs apparently.” 

“Woah. James?” Bev suddenly said, confused. “What are you doing here?” 

“He just so happens to be in the city... exactly the same time as us... and in the exact same club.” Eddie said in an accusatory way before James could even answer. 

Bev furrowed her brow at them both, still not fully understanding what was going on. “And you know Greg?” She asked, pointed at the guy James had whispered to.

James looked suddenly as if he’d been caught. With what, Bev and Eddie weren’t sure, but his face said it all. He was trying to come up with a lie and quick.

“Yeah, these are my friends from the city... small world.” He smiled sneakily - Like he knew they were on to him and he was daring them to do something about it. 

Bev and Eddie both looked at each other, letting the other know it was time to leave. 

“Alright we’ll we should go... sounds like Richie needs us.” She turned towards Eddie and gestured for him to bring her to him. 

Before they could go James put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Tell Tozier I hope he feels better soon.” He grinned. There was no sympathy in his words. 

Eddie didn’t answer and just shook out of his grip before leading Bev to where he’d left Richie. 

When they got to him his head was hanging lifelessly against his chest, becoming too heavy for him to hold it up. 

Bev took his head in her hands and peeled one of his eyes open. “Richie?” 

“Hieye bwevvrie.” Richie mumbled.

“How much did he have to drink? Jesus Christ I’ve never seen him like this… and I’ve seen him completely trashed.” 

“I don’t know.” Eddie shook his head frantically, trying to remember if he’d missed something somehow. “He had a few shots earlier and then a drink that someone ordered for him but-“

“Wait, someone ordered him a drink?” Bev suddenly questioned. “Who?” 

Eddie thought back to it. He hadn’t thought much about it before other than that it was kind of annoying. Richie was a good looking guy though, and he’d thought it was probably just some random girl. 

“Eddie, I think Richie got roofied.” 

Eddie’s stomach dropped. He’d heard of this kind of thing happening and that you shouldn’t take drinks from strangers but it happening to Richie seemed unreal. 

“What? Really? Are you sure he’s not just tired?” Eddie asked, trying dumbly to come up with any other possibility.

Bev just shot him a look that said “tired, Eddie? Really?” And then started to help Richie up. “We should get him out of here.”

Eddie nodded and helped prop Richie up on them. Luckily he was still able to walk a little. 

They helped him into the truck and Bev drove them back to the hotel. 

Eddie sat in the back with Richie, playing with his hair and rubbing his head like he liked as he laid on Eddie’s lap. He hoped Richie would be okay... he seemed like he would be. Eddie couldn’t help but wonder who would have done such a thing. A girl wouldn’t do this... would they? How would they even get Richie out of the club when he was so drugged up? No girl would have that kind of strength to lift his dead weight. Maybe it was a guy... it is New York. Eddie’s stomach turned a little when he suddenly thought of something. 

James. 

Could it have been him? He already made it pretty clear to Eddie what his intentions were with Richie and he wasn’t exactly an upstanding guy. 

But why? 

Eddie pushed down his burning internal questions as they got to the hotel and helped Richie inside. Eddie could crack skulls and ask questions later. Right now Richie needed him. 

Once they were in the room they laid him on the bed and Eddie went into their little kitchen area to get him a glass of water. When he came back Bev had taken off his shoes and was rubbing his head like Eddie had been in the car. 

“No!” Richie yelled. “It’s not as good!” 

Bev threw her hands in the air kind of annoyed. “The princess is requesting your services.” She said, rolling her eyes and walking away towards the bathroom.

“Hey baby.” Eddie said as he sat beside Richie on the bed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Head fucking kills.” 

Eddie smiled at him and felt relieved that he was able to make sentences again. 

“Here, drink some water.” 

Richie sat up and Eddie helped hold the glass to his lips as he drank.

He laid back down and sighed, closing his eyes and Eddie started to rub his head through his messy raven curls again to which Richie hummed happily.

“How’s he doing?” Bev asked as she crept quietly out of the bathroom. 

“He’s gonna be okay.” Eddie assured her. “I can’t believe someone would do this to him.” 

Bev shook her head. “Neither can I. I guess it’s true what they say… the city is dangerous.” 

Eddie nodded in agreeance at that. 

They both seemed uneasy about how the whole night had gone. Something definitely wasn’t adding up and they both felt it.


	19. Talk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it took me so long to post! I’ve been getting really horrible headaches from all the cleaners they’ve been using at my work and it’s making it kind of hard to write. Bleh. I feel like this is kind of a short chapter and a little slow but things will pick up very soon. Love you guys. Stay happy and healthy. ❤️

The minute Richie started to wake up, a massive headache hit him like a titlewave. 

He could feel the slight tickle of someone rubbing his face lovingly but the pain was drowning out the soothing touch.

“Fuck.” 

“Good morning to you too.” Eddie laughed a little. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like hell.” Richie groaned as he sat up slowly, one hand pressed against his aching head. He opened his eyes carefully and squinted when the light hit him, sending more painful vibrations through his skull. “Fuck. How much did I drink?” 

Eddie looked down at his hand that was resting on Richie’s thigh and rubbed a little circle there. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the words. He looked over at Bev, seeming to ask for her help through unsure eyes. 

Bev seemed to get the message and set her coffee on the counter before walking towards the bed from the kitchen area. 

“Rich, what do you remember?” She asked carefully.

Richie reached for his glasses that were laying on the bedside table and pushed them on his face with a slight pained sound escaping him as he forced himself to fully look at her.

Bev was trying to be as nonchalaunt as possible about everything but her face was giving her away - looking serious and concerned. 

Richie looked back and forth between her and Eddie and immediately worried that maybe he had done something wrong while he was out of it the night before. 

“Oh shit. What did I do?” He asked, scared of what the answer might be. 

Eddie could see Richie’s mind start to race with possibilities and he squeezed at his thigh before he could beat himself up.

“Nothing Rich.” He assured him. “It was nothing you did.” 

Richie let out some air at that, relieved that he hadn’t completely fucked up, but by the way Eddie and Bev were acting something definitely happened and it was nothing but a thick fog in his mind. 

“Well, what happened then?” 

Eddie looked at Bev again, not wanting to have to take the lead on this. 

Bev sighed before deciding to just rip the bandaid off. “We think you got drugged.” 

They both looked cautiously at Richie as he processed this information. 

“What?!” Richie said finally, almost laughing as he did. 

Eddie frowned at his strange reaction. “Richie, it’s not funny.” 

Richie just kept grinning, obviously finding it hilarious. “Well, did I enjoy it? Was it good shit?” 

Eddie stood up from the bed, throwing his hands in the air in disbelief. “Are you fucking serious right now?!” He couldn’t stand when Richie was like this… using humor to make a serious situation less serious. 

Bev placed a calming hand on Eddie’s shoulder as he pinched hard at the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

“Richie, this is serious.” Bev scolded. “I think… I think it was James.” 

Eddie turned to look at her in surprise, relieved that she had been the one to suggest it and not him.

Richie just gave her a weird look, scrunching up his at her. “James? How could it have been him?”

Eddie and Bev looked at eachother, both realizing that Richie didn’t remember James being there. He didn’t remember anything. 

“Why do you guys keep looking at eachother like that?!” Richie asked, annoyed. He was getting fed up with them being so cryptic. 

“Richie… James was there last night.” Bev said, finally. 

Richie felt his stomach drop to his feet at that. James had been there? What did he say? Did he tell them anything about him? About him dealing?! 

“He was?” Richie let out, voice shaking. “Why?” 

“That’s what we would like to know.” Eddie suddenly blurted out, arms crossed tightly at his chest. His tone was a little accusatory. 

“Ed’s… I had no idea he would be here.” Richie promised, shaking his head. “I’m just as confused as you.” 

“I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on.” Eddie snarled. “He fucking likes you Rich and he drugged you to make it easier to get to you.” 

Richie sat quiet for a moment. It did kind of make sense. James had flirted with him a lot since they met and he wasn’t exactly new to the world of drugs. Richie tried to just laugh it off, not wanting to show his concern. “Okay, there’s no way James was the one that drugged me… he’s my friend.” 

Eddie let out a large huff and rolled his eyes. “He's not your friend Richie. You’ve only known him for a couple weeks! He’s a weird guy and I don’t know why you aren't freaking out more about this!” 

Richie just stared up at Eddie from the bed, unsure of what to say.

“He followed us to New York Rich! That’s not normal!”

“I think you are being a little dramatic.” Richie shrugged.

Eddie squinted his eyes at him and sucked in his cheeks, tying his hardest not to scream. “I’m dramatic?! This is coming from the guy who ate lunch in the bathroom for a month straight freshman year because Susie Brown wouldn’t stop sending you love notes and following you around like a puppy.” 

“That was different!” Richie argued. “She was straight up stalking me!” 

Eddie suddenly looked unnervingly calm. Sighing and collecting himself before speaking. “You’re right Richie. This is different. She was just a harmless young girl with a stupid crush. James is a stranger who followed us seven hours away to drug you.” 

Richie was a little taken aback by that. He was freaked out but if he let that show or made this a bigger deal he knew Eddie would investigate further and find out who James was and how Richie really knew him. 

“Fine. I’ll talk to him, okay?!” 

“What?! No!” Eddie exclaimed, shaking his head. “I don’t want you going anywhere near him alone!” 

Richie smiled and reached out to pinch Eddie’s cheek. “I’m a big boy spaghetti man… I can handle him.” 

Eddie whacked his hand away quickly. “No Richie. I want to be there with you when you talk to him.” 

Richie was going to protest but Eddie put a hand over his mouth. 

“No. I don’t want to hear it.”

Richie removed Eddie’s hand with a loud groan. “Fine.”

Ofcourse Eddie wasn’t going to make this easy on him. Damn it. 

Eddie looked at him as if he were supposed to say something else too. “Fine, what?” 

Richie rolled his eyes, hating that Eddie was treating him like he was five years old. His parents hadn’t even parented him this much.

“Fine, I won’t talk to James without you.” 

Eddie nodded his approval at that. “Good.” He sat beside Richie again, trying to continue looking annoyed but his hands were betraying him, playing with the hem of Richie’s shirt. “I’m glad you’re okay.” 

Richie smiled at Eddie, his headache was dying a little and he could focus on Eddie’s soft touch. He grinned as he suddenly wondered what else he may have forgotten about the night before. 

“So… Did we end up having any fun last night?” He asked, biting his lip and wagging his eyebrows. 

Eddie’s face turned a deep shade of red at that. “Richie what the fuck?! Of Course not! You were basically unconscious!” 

Richie furrowed his brow, pretending to not understand the problem with that.

“Yeah? So?” 

“So, it would have just been me… doing stuff to you while you were out of your mind!” Eddie snapped. “It would have made me just as bad as the person who drugged you.” 

Richie laughed a little at that. “Awe my little Eds cares about my consent.” He stopped and suddenly turned serious, leaning closer to Eddie’s face and lowering his voice. “But just for future reference, you always have my consent to do whatever you want with me... conscious or not.” 

Eddie became flustered and unable to respond to that stuttering “Ri-Richie! You... ugh… don’t… You're sick… I would never want… I mean… I could never… ugh!”

Richie waited a minute longer, smiling from ear to ear as he watched Eddie adorably stumble over his words before planting a quick kiss on his lips. “It’s okay babe, I get it. You prefer me conscious. Who wouldn’t!”

Eddie groaned before getting up off the bed to start packing.

The three of them hurried to clean up their room before the 11:30 check out. 

“Are we sure we have everything?!” Eddie yelled as he looked around the room frantically for the eighth time. 

Bev and Richie were standing in the hall now, holding the door open, waiting for Eddie. 

“Babe you got everything. Swear. We all made sure.” Richie called out. “We gotta go.” 

Eddie reluctantly got up off the floor from looking under the bed and walked towards the door, skimming the room one last time as he did. “Okay Fine.”

Richie handed him one of his lighter bags and carried the rest for him along with his own. 

“You got it Rich?” Eddie asked, feeling a little guilty as he watched Richie stumble down the hall after Bev. 

“Yeah I got it.” He smiled down at him. He quickly adjusted the bags on his shoulders and in his right hand so that the other would be free. He reached out for Eddie’s hand, making him flinch and look up at him. 

“Let’s not waste these last minutes of not being in Derry.” 

Eddie smiled and nodded at that, gripping Richie’s hand tightly as they walked through the hotel. 

“Are you sure you are okay to drive Rich?” Eddie asked as they drove further and further away from the city. Bev was already asleep in the back. 

“Yeah, I don’t feel as bad now.” 

Eddie smiled sadly at him. He hated that Richie never acted like anything bothered him. The boy attracted trouble like gasoline to fire, but he never wanted to talk about it. The abuse his parents put him through or the sexual abuse that he endured with Joey, and now this. 

Eddie truthfully wasn’t very good with words. He wanted to talk to Richie. Really talk to him. He wanted to know the ins and outs of his mind that he never shared with anyone. Richie knew everything about him and he wanted the same. He couldn’t help but feel that Richie was always hiding something. 

“Hey, I love you Rich. I know I don’t say it enough… but I do.” Eddie said suddenly.

Richie turned towards him a little stiffly at that. Sure, he knew Eddie loved him, but he never expressed it as loudly as Richie did and he was a little caught off guard. 

“Awe, am I making you soft Eds?” 

“I’m serious!” Eddie yelled. “I want you to know how much I care… I want you to know you can tell me anything.” 

Richie felt his stomach drop. Fuck. Eddie knew. This must be some kind of elaborate plan to get him to spill his guts. 

Richie forced a smile, as to not show his guilt. “Yeah, I know.” 

Eddie squeezed his hand and looked up at him. He was smiling at him but there was so much uncertainty in his eyes. “Okay.” 

Richie smiled back between glances at the road to reassure him that everything was okay. Even though it wasn’t.

“I love you too Eds. I really do.” Richie trembled out. His emotions were starting to get the better of him as his thick guilt settled in his stomach like a brick. He could feel the start of tears building in his eyes. “I know I’m a fuck up…”

“Richie.” 

“No. I know I am Eddie. You don’t have to pretend I’m not. I’m the world's biggest joke and I have no idea how god or the universe or whatever allowed me to be with you.” Richie was fully crying now, the wet tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. 

Richie couldn’t bring himself to look at Eddie, embarrassed by his state. He continued to cry until he felt a small, gentle hand rub at his cheek and wipe away some of his tears. 

“I’m sorry… I’m…” Richie suddenly stopped when he heard soft sniffling from beside him and turned to find Eddie, red in the face and crying too now.

“Ed’s?” 

“Richie, stop it!” Eddie yelled. “I can’t stand when you do that!” 

Richie just looked confused at him, feeling speechless for once. He was surprised by the amount of anger in Eddie’s voice. 

“If I didn’t think you were worth loving then I wouldn’t. Have you ever stopped to think maybe I’m not good enough for you?!” Eddie sobbed. “You are smart and kind and so full of adventure.” He stopped for a moment and lowered his voice a little. “And you’re.. funny… sometimes.” 

Richie’s eyes lit up and he couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that, even with his eyes still wet with tears. It was a beautiful sight to Eddie. 

“Only sometimes?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes. Sometimes. Don’t go getting a big head… bigger head.” 

Richie laughed again and wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulder, forcing him into his chest. 

“You are special Rich. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

Richie’s heart felt like it could have leapt out of his chest at that. Eddie sounded proud to have him. “You are special too Eddie... and I don’t ever want to hurt you.” 

Eddie pressed a soft kiss into Richie’s hand that was resting around his shoulder. “Then don’t hurt me dummy.” 

Richie smirked at that. Eddie and him had become closer than ever over the past couple months. Closer than he ever thought two people could get. Eddie really understood him better than anyone. Maybe if he told Eddie the truth and explained himself, why he did it, Eddie would understand. He’d forgive him. Things would be okay. Maybe... 

“Hey Eddie…” 

“Yeah Rich?” Eddie said, mindlessly playing with Richie’s long fingers. 

Richie could feel himself start to tense. “Eddie, I wanted to tell you...” 

“Hey kids! What’s going on up here?!” Bev suddenly yelled as she flung her body up towards the front, pushing them apart. 

“Bev!” Richie yelled, annoyed. “I thought you were asleep?!” 

“I was but you guys were being loud.” 

Damn it Bev.

Eddie quickly seemed to forget all about what Richie was going to say and started to talk to Bev, laughing and going on about whatever. 

Richie sighed and slouched in his seat a little. It’s like the universe couldn’t handle him doing the right thing for once.


	20. Anobrain

The more Eddie thought about it, the more he knew he would have to talk to James on his own. 

Richie wouldn’t like it but it was the only way he was ever going to get the truth without James putting on a mask for Richie. He seemed to have no problem with showing Eddie who he really was... So he decided to slip a note into James's locker on Monday for them to meet in the bathroom at 10:00. 

As the day went on Eddie felt more and more guilty about going behind Richie’s back. He talked himself in and out of it multiple times but ultimately decided that this was for Richie's own good. It was the only way to protect him. 

When 10:00 rolled around and Eddie walked down the hall to the bathroom he became increasingly nervous and became less sure of what he would say to James. He was pretty outspoken with the losers but with other people he shut down... How the hell are you supposed to tell someone to fuck off anyways? 

When he opened the bathroom door and turned the corner he found James was already there waiting for him, leaning against the white graffiti covered wall and smoking a cigarette. 

“Hey there... Eds.” 

Eddie cringed at hearing Richie’s nickname for him roll off someone else’s tongue. James said it in a way Eddie could barely recognize In comparison to how Richie said it. It was much less doting and more mocking. 

“That’s not my name.” Eddie snarled. 

James took another drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke in Eddie’s direction. “Isn’t that what Tozier calls you? And what’s the other one?” James locked eyes with Eddie and grinned. “Spaghetti?”

“Only Richie calls me that.” Eddie snapped. “It’s just Eddie.” 

James shrugged and flicked his cigarette butt on the floor. “Whatever you say.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes at the smug boy. It might be easier than he thought to tell him to fuck off.

“So, what’s with the secret meet up?” James asked, stepping away from the wall and walking closer to Eddie. “You’re not in love with me are you?” He smiled, biting his lip. “Because if you are, I’m flattered but..."

“What?! No!” Eddie yelled, cutting him off. His face contorted into a look of both disgust and rage. “I came here to ask you what you were doing in New York and why the fuck you were trying to mess around with my...” Eddie looked around nervously to make sure no one was around to listen in. “Richie.” He finished instead. 

James furrowed his brow, giving him a faux innocent look. “I was dancing with him. Is that a crime now? You don’t own him.”

Eddie’s face turned bright red and he looked as if he might explode. “I never said I owned him!” His fist was tight at his side and he begged for the strength not to punch this guy right in the face. He would be in deep shit if he got suspended. “Listen, I don’t know why you are fucking stalking us or why you drugged Richie but I don’t want you coming around him anymore!” 

James was silent for a moment after that, stepping back away from Eddie and sticking his hands in his pockets. It wasn't the reaction Eddie was expecting and he couldn't quite read him. It was like he was weighing his options... carefully deciding his next move. He stood silent for another moment before Eddie saw his face change. There was that mask again.

“Look, I’m sorry. I never meant to make you mad or feel threatened.” James suddenly said. “I like Richie... He’s a cool guy but I get that you two are together. I was in New York with my dad for a business trip and I have friends there I wanted to visit. I had no idea Beverly was the girl they invited to the club with us.” 

Eddie squinted at him, not knowing whether or not to believe what he was saying. “What about Richie getting drugged?” 

James laughed a little at that. “It’s the city... it happens.” 

Eddie still wasn't ready to let down his guard just yet. He couldn't help but feel that this was some kind of trap.

“I mean if you want to forbid him and I from hanging out that’s on you...” James let slip an evil, knowing smile. “But Richie doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who likes to be put in a box. I’d hate for it to come between you two.” 

Eddie wanted to scream at James. He didn't know them. He didn't know Richie. Eddie opened his mouth to start yelling again... to tell James that he didn't know what he was talking about, but his words suddenly hit him. James was right about Richie not liking to be told what to do. What if he saw Eddie as someone who was manipulative? What if he resented Eddie for not letting him do what he wanted?

"I know he really wants to be in this band." James suddenly said. "Hes told me a few times." 

Eddie looked at James kind of sadly. "He does?" 

"Yeah... but he also said he wont do it unless you say its okay." 

Eddie's heart fell at that. He really didn't want Richie to hang around James anymore. He had a bad feeling about him... but was that just his jealousy talking? Was that selfish? He wanted Richie to be happy. 

Eddie looked at James who seemed to be trying to play it off like he didn't care what Eddie decided.

"Fine." Eddie finally groaned out. "But you have to promise me you wont try anything with him... or else." 

James smiled a serpent looking smile. "Of course." 

Eddie didn’t feel much better about the James situation after talking to him and wondered how the hell everything got so turned around... He was supposed to tell James to stay the hell away from Richie not push him into Richie's arms. It was like James used some kind of reverse physiology on him. Damn James. Eddie couldn't concentrate at all when he returned to class and desperately tried to convince himself that he hadn't made a terrible mistake. At least he wouldn't feel like he was putting Richie in a box and he got James to promise he wouldn't make any moves on Richie... for whatever that's worth. 

Eddie walked Into the cafeteria at lunch and made his way to the designated losers table in the corner where he could already see Richie using his plastic spork as a catapult to throw peas at Stan. 

“Oh good you’re here.” Stan said when he spotted Eddie. “Control your dog please.” 

“Eds!” Richie yelled, ignoring Stan’s comment and scooting over for him. 

Eddie rolled his eyes a little as he sat. "Please. He doesn't listen to me." 

“Maybe this dog just needs a little training Spaghetti...” Richie winked at him. 

Eddie couldn't help his face from turning red and he looked up at the losers, embarrassed. “Oh shut up dipshit.” He shot back. 

Richie just laughed at that. 

As lunch went on, the losers all started to talk among themselves and Richie leaned over to whisper in Eddie’s ear. “So, are we talking to James today or what?” 

Eddie started to sink in his seat a little. “Um... no it’s okay.” 

Richie furrowed his brow and turned fully towards Eddie. “Tomorrow then?” 

Eddie shook his head, continuing to cut into his food and refusing look at Richie. “No. I changed my mind. I don’t think we need to talk to him.” He said quickly.

Richie squinted at him suspiciously and whispered very seriously into his ear. “Okay, who the fuck are you?” 

Eddie nudged him away with his shoulder. “Richie don’t be stupid. I just... I think I may have misunderstood the situation.” 

Richie continued to squint at him and they stared at each other for a moment before it finally clicked. “You fucking talked to him, didn’t you?” 

Eddie tensed and looked guiltily at him. “Well... I...” 

Richie dropped his spork and suddenly looked very concerned. Eddie even thought for a moment he almost looked scared. 

“What the fuck did he say to you? Did he threaten you? Because if he did I’m gonna...” 

“No Richie, he didn’t threaten me.” Eddie said, gesturing with his hand for Richie to lower his voice. “He explained himself and I think he’s telling the truth.”

“The truth?” Richie asked shakily. 

“Yeah.” Eddie looked at the now sweating boy and frowned. “What the fuck is with you? Weren’t you the one that said it was probably a misunderstanding and that James is your friend?” 

Richie nodded and looked like he was trying to snap himself out of the worried state he was in. “Yeah... yeah I did. I just really don’t like that you talked to him on your own.” Richie turned back to his food and lazily picked at it. “It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.” 

“I was just trying to protect you.” Eddie said quietly. "Please don't be mad at me." 

Richie looked over at him again and grabbed his hand under the table. "I'm not Eds." He assured him. 

Eddie smiled at him. "I told him that its okay if you do that band thing." It almost hurt saying it but the happy and shocked look on Richie's face made it worth it. 

"Really?! The Derry Fairies?!" 

Eddie gave him a funny look. "The what?" 

"The Derry Fairies... Its the name we came up with. Pretty cool right?" 

Eddie couldn't help but giggle at that. "Sure Rich." 

Eddie knocked on the door of the Denbrough house, shivering in the cold and praying that Bill would hurry up and answer the door before he froze to death. 

The losers' Christmas was always Eddie’s favorite day of the year. He liked it better than Christmas with his mother, which was always a bit of a bummer. She never liked to do any of the traditional   
Christmas stuff with him. She always complained that the Christmas movies now a days were crude and that Christmas cookies and cocoa were too packed with sugar for Eddie. So, he did all those things with his best friends instead. 

“Eddie!” Bill smiled as he opened the door. “M-merry Christmas.” 

Eddie stepped in and started to take off his scarf and coat to hang up. “Merry Christmas Bill.” He followed him to the living room where the other losers were all cuddled up on the couch and chairs with blankets and hot cocoa in hand. Nothing but the TV and the golden lights from the Christmas tree to light the room, making it feel even more cozy and magical.

“Eddie!” Everyone yelled in unison when he walked in behind Bill. 

Eddie smiled at them but couldn’t help himself from looking a little disappointed when he didn’t see Richie. 

Stan must have noticed his searching eyes. “He’s not here yet.” He said in an annoyed sounding voice. 

“He didn't come with you Bev?” Eddie asked. 

She shrugged at him and frowned. “I think he’s still with the band. He’ll be here soon.” 

Eddie scowled at that. Of Course he was with the band. Why wouldn’t he be? Richie had been with them all break rehearsing and Eddie barely ever got to see him now. 

Richie invited him to watch them rehearse a few times and Eddie tried to go but every time he found himself just getting upset at the way James and him seemed to piece together when they played. Sure, James wasn’t as touchy feely with Richie like he promised... but still, those looks. Those damn looks. It was Like he knew something about Richie that Eddie didn’t.

Needless to say Eddie stopped going. Deciding not to put himself through that kind of torture. 

He was looking forward to spending some time with Richie now.. away from James.

“Oh.” Eddie sighed out. “Okay.” 

He walked over to the empty spot on the couch next to Mike and quickly tried to settle in and jump into the movie but his mind kept drifting off. He knew it was useless to try to focus on anything until Richie got there... Damn he was so whipped. 

Finally, after what seemed to be days later, there was a knock at the door and Eddie's heart leapt out of his chest and his head jolted towards the door. 

A muffled, familiar voice echoed from outside the door. “Loserrrrssss your favorite Trashmouth is here!” 

“Crap.” Stan said, rubbing his head like he was preparing himself for a headache. 

“I got it!” Bill yelled as he got up off the couch. 

Eddie watched with anticipation as Bill disappeared behind the wall. He could hear the door open and some muffled sounds before Richie burst into the living room with a huge grin on his face and a bottle of vodka in his hand. “Lets get Shitfaced!”

Bev excitedly pointed finger guns and him. “Hell yes! That's my boy!” 

“Really?” Stan groaned. “This is a Christmas party… not a frat party Richie.”

Richie pouted at him and looked around at everyone else for some help that no one seemed willing to give. “Oh come on guys, live a little.” 

Bill suddenly swung an arm around Richie’s shoulder from behind him. “I think it would be fun. My parents won't be back until tomorrow.”

It took a minute of uncertain stares at each other but everyone besides Stan eventually nodded. No one could say no to Bill. 

"Great! I'll go mix this with whatever is in the fridge.” Richie said giddily as he turned on his heel and made his way to the kitchen. 

Eddie felt a little annoyed that Richie hadn't even acknowledged him yet. Especially since they hadn't seen each other in a few days. “I'll go help him so he doesn't destroy your kitchen or poison us.” Eddie said as he stood from the couch. 

When he turned to look in the kitchen he didn't see Richie and stepped in a little further. “Rich?” Eddie suddenly felt himself being pulled and then pushed against the wall. He made a surprised noise that was quickly swallowed when he felt the familiar feeling of Richie's soft lips on his. 

The way Richie was kissing him was hungry and wanting. Eddie surrendered immediately, kissing into him hard and wrapping his hands around Richie's neck, playing with the short curly hairs there. 

Richie pulled away and looked with half lidded eyes at him. He licked against Eddie's lips, making him shiver. 

“I missed you, sweet lips.” 

Eddie bit down on his lip, trying and failing to hide a smile. “Yeah?”

Richie nodded as he took Eddie's hands in his. 

“I missed you too.” Eddie smiled. He was happy to have the reassurance that Richie missed him just as much as he did. 

“I'm sorry that I've been spending so much time with the band. James just got us our first gig and its kind of a big deal. So we've been stressed since we just started and don't really know what the fuck we're doing.” 

Eddie looked down at their entwined fingers and noticed the black nail polish now covering Richie's nails. He lifted their hands and raised an eyebrow at him. 

Richie quickly let go of Eddie’s hands and rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “Oh yeah… I just… I thought it'd be cool.” 

Eddie just stared at him for a moment. Just when he thought Richie couldn't get any hotter he goes and does something like that. 

“Do you like it?” Richie asked, obviously wanting Eddie’s approval. 

Eddie didn't say anything and just grabbed at the front of Richie's black hoodie, bringing their lips back together. 

They kissed for as long as they could before they knew it had been too long and someone would probably come check on them soon to make sure they hadn't killed each other. Eddie helped carry Richie's concoction of grape soda and vodka out to the losers. 

They began handing them out and Richie tried to hand one to Stan. 

“No.” He said bluntly, refusing to take it.

Richie pouted and continued to hold out the drink. “C'mon Stanny. You used to be fun.” Richie leaned down close to his face. “I made yours special.” 

Stan rolled his eyes and took the drink with a groan. Mostly just to shut Richie up. 

Richie nodded, satisfied, and walked over to his designated chair in the corner.

Eddie watched as Richie snuggled into the chair and got under his blanket. He immediately wished that he could cuddle in with him and it not be suspicious. 

The losers sipped on their drinks and watched Christmas movie after Christmas movie just like they did every year. 

By the end of the second movie everyone was feeling pretty tipsy. 

"Guys, w-we should play tr-truth or dare." Bill suggested.

"Amazing idea Billy boy!" Richie yelled. "Losers Christmas R rated edition!" 

The rest of the losers agreed... some more willing than others. They started to play and most everyone only chose truth which didn't make for a very fun game since they already knew each other pretty well. 

Ben did end up asking Richie if he had feelings for James which made Eddie a little worried for a minute. Of course Richie denied it right away but Eddie couldn't help but overthink it anyways.

It didn't get interesting until it was Stan's turn to choose someone. He quickly picked Eddie like he was on a mission and Eddie didn't like it. 

"truth or dare." 

Eddie nervously gulped when Stan looked at Richie and then back to Eddie. He knew that sneaky Stan look and quickly caught on to what he was probably going to ask him. 

"Dare." Eddie spat out, trying to avoid the situation Stan was going to try to put him in. 

He became more nervous when Stan's grin only grew. “Eddie I dare you to kiss..." 

Oh Fuck. Eddie thought. Don't do it Stan, you son of a bitch. 

"Mike." He finished. 

Eddie's eyes grew wide with shock. He thought for sure he was going to dare him to kiss Richie. He could feel his face turn bright red as he looked over at mike who shared the same surprised look. 

“Wha-what?” Eddie stuttered out. He looked over at Richie who was staring at him so intensely it might have burned a hole in his head. 

“Eddie, You don't ha-have to.” Bill said. 

“Yes he does." Stan snapped. "Its a dare… Unless he wants to drink water from the toilet.”

Eddie threw up in his mouth a little at that thought. There was no way he was doing that. He looked at Richie one more time, who still looked pretty uncomfortable. Eddie then turned to Mike. He'd just make it quick... a tiny peck. 

Mike Started to lean in and Eddie puckered up and leaned in too. He closed his eyes and just as he thought he would reach Mike's lips he heard a jumble of noises and felt a whoosh of air in front of him. He was suddenly met with the feeling of lips crashing against his roughly. He opened his eyes to find a confused looking Mike pushed over to the side and Richie kissing him instead. 

Richie pulled away from him and opened his eyes, looking just as shocked by his actions. They both stared at each other, not ready to face the others or what just happened.

“Fucking finally.” Stan suddenly said. 

Eddie and Richie finally broke eye contact and looked around the room at the losers, who were all in shock.( except for Stan who looked pretty fucking happy with himself.) 

They stayed quiet for another minute before Richie suddenly took in some air and puffed up his chest as he stood. "Yeah so... I've been meaning to tell you guys that Eds and I are together and I love him." He blurted. "Also i'm not okay with anyone else kissing him." 

Another minute of silence passed before Bev suddenly started to laugh. "Stan you are a fucking genius." 

"Some idiots just need a push."


	21. An Encounter

“So, we are a-all going to Richie’s first g-gig tonight, right?” Bill asked everyone as they ate lunch.

“Sure, I’ll go... just to watch him embarrass himself. It’ll be a good laugh.” Stan smirked. He’d never admit it, but Stan would never miss anything Richie did. He was his oldest friend after all. 

“Of course we are all going to be there.” Ben said. “We all want to support Richie… even if he does suck.” 

“Okay. I’ll pick e-everyone up then and dr-drive us there.” Bill offered. He looked over at the unusually quiet Eddie. “What t-time should I pick you up Eddie?”

Eddie snapped out of his daze. He’d been leaning on his fist, staring at the entrance to the lunchroom, hoping to see those black curls and boyish smile burst in. (Probably saying something inappropriate.) He knew he wouldn’t though, Richie had told him earlier that he had to study in the library during lunch for a test. Which Eddie found weird because he couldn’t remember a time when Richie ever had to actually study for something. He knew it was probably needy to want to see Richie at lunch when they had almost all of their classes together but he just felt like he hadn’t seen much of him lately. “Oh... um I don’t know.” He sighed. 

The losers all looked at each other, confused by Eddie’s lack of excitement. 

“Eddie, is everything okay?” Ben asked. 

“I’m fine. I just don’t know about this whole band thing.” He confessed. “Richie is spending so much time with James and I…” Eddie trailed off. He decided to stop before he made an idiot of himself. him and Richie being together was all out in the open now, but that didn’t mean that they were all ready to help with Eddie’s raging jealous boyfriend syndrome. It seemed to be too late though, by the looks they were giving him.

“He’s j-just excited Eddie.” Bill assured him. 

“Totally.” Bev agreed. “You know He’s obsessed with you Eddie.” 

“It’s borderline psychotic.” Stan added, annoyed.”

Ben placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder. “See, you have nothing to worry about."

Eddie smiled at his friends appreciatively. He was glad he could lean on them with this stuff now.

“Unless of course, you should be worried.” Stan suddenly said.

“STAN!” Everyone yelled in unison. 

“What? I’m just saying!” He yelled defensively. “Richie never seemed like the relationship type!” 

Eddie put his hands over his face and slouched forward over the table. “Ughhhhhh.” 

“Stan, c'mon dude!” Mike said, gesturing his hand towards an obviously spiraling Eddie. 

“Just pick me up at 7:00 bill.” Eddie groaned from behind his hands.

Before lunch ended, Eddie decided to visit Richie in the library. He didn’t want to invade Richie's space but he needed to see him. To just be around him. 

When he didn’t see Richie in the library he immediately became worried. Maybe he was just outside smoking... Eddie checked in Richie’s usual smoking spots but there was still no sign of him. Eddie could feel his heart start to thump against his ribs anxiously as his mind flooded with hundreds of terrible scenarios. Why would Richie lie to him? His breathe became jagged and he knew a panic attack was well on its way by the way his chest tightened. 

He quickly reached into his backpack to pull out his inhaler, but before it could reach his lips he heard a familiar voice. He turned towards the sound and squinted. At the end of an empty hallway stood Richie, cozied up to some freshman girl against the lockers.

Eddie watched them for a moment as they talked. It was strange. Eddie had never seen her before but she was standing so close to Richie. It was intimate and secretive and it made Eddie’s stomach tight with knots. 

He put his inhaler back into his backpack and started to slowly walk towards the pair, who where unaware of him. He watched as Richie handed the girl something that he couldn't quite make out and she quickly slid it into her pocket.

She started saying something to Richie again, but suddenly froze when she spotted Eddie. She looked guilty. Which only added to the nervous knots in Eddie's stomach.

Richie noticed the change in her face and turned to meet Eddie with wide eyes. 

“Oh! Eds!” Richie looked so nervous Eddie thought he might puke. “I was just inviting Erika here to the show tonight.” 

Richie turned back towards Erika, a large smile painting his face. 

She quickly mimicked him and nodded quickly. “Oh, yes! I’ll definitely be there!” She said kind of robotically. 

Eddie stared at them, frowning at their strange behavior. It all felt fishy. 

There was an awkward silence between them for a moment before Erika coughed a bit. “Well I have to go now.” She said before speeding off. 

Eddie watched her go and then turned back towards Richie who started laughing nervously when Eddie’s suspicious eyes landed on him. 

“So...” 

“What the fuck Richie?!” Eddie snapped. “You told me you were studying at the library but instead I find you canoodling with some freshman girl!” 

Richie laughed a little at his choice of words. “Eds... I wasn’t canoodling with her.” He smirked. “We both know I’m only into older ladies.”

“Don’t you dare.” Eddie warned. 

Richie continued anyways, wearing a shit eating grin “Like your mom.”

Eddie put a hand up in frustration, breathing in sharply. He looked like he would start yelling, but instead he just groaned and turned to walk away, mumbling something about Richie being an immature asshole. 

Richie caught his shoulder before he could get too far. “Eddie C’mon I’m just joking.” 

“I know! You’re always just joking!” Eddie yelled.

Richie sighed, letting his hand linger on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie didn’t want to admit it, but the feeling of Richie being so close was nice. 

“Listen, I’m sorry I lied about being at the library, okay?” He looked down at his shoes, not meeting Eddie’s gaze. “I just... wanted to get the word out about tonight.” 

It seemed like another lie to Eddie. He was going to push but decided not to. He worried pushing might push Richie away more and that thought scared Eddie more than anything. He looked around to make sure no one was coming before taking Richie’s hand and squeezing.

“Richie?” 

Richie’s head lifted a little to look at him. Eddie could almost see the secrets he was keeping behind those big brown eyes. He wondered if he was the reason Richie felt like he had to hold back. Was Eddie overbearing like his mother? 

“Yeah Eds?” 

Eddie wanted to tell him again, that Richie could tell him things. That he didn’t want their relationship to destroy the honesty they had in their friendship. 

“Nothing. I just miss you.” He said instead. 

Richie grinned and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Eddie’s forehead. “I miss you too Spaghetti.” 

When the losers picked Eddie up he was practically shaking his mother off of him at the door. 

He had decided to tell her that Richie was in a band and that all the losers were going to see his first performance. Of course he left out the part about it being at a party. The only reason she was allowing it at all was because Bill and Stan were going to be there. 

“Bye ma! I’ll be back at 11:00!” Eddie yelled to his graveling mother as he jumped into the back seat with Mike.

“This better be good.” Eddie mumbled as he settled in. “Basically had to beg ma to let me come.”

Bev turned around to look at him. “What? Is your mama not too keen on letting you go to a big party to see your musician boyfriend play in his scandalous band?” She asked, winking at him. 

“Yeah right. She would have had a heart attack if I told her all that.” 

Ben looked a little uncomfortable. “Did you say... big party? How big?” He asked nervously. 

“You know, just a modest couple hundred people.” Beverly smiled mischievously. “It’s at the blue roof house.”

“Oh I heard about that place!” Mike yelled. “It’s that big abandoned house that the cops keep trying to keep kids out of because the parties there get way too out of control. I even heard a girl went missing there a few weeks ago and then turned up in a different state.”

Ben started to hyperventilate a little and Eddie wasn’t too far behind him. Meanwhile, Bev started to laugh and clap her hands together excitedly. 

“You’re a psychopath.” Stan said, looking back at her through the passenger side mirror. 

“Yeah, w-what the hell B-Bev! Are y-you and Richie trying to g-g-get us killed!” Bill yelled from the drivers seat.

Bev rolled her eyes, wishing Richie was there so she wasn’t so outnumbered by level headed people. “Aw, cmon guys! It’s going to be fun!” She insisted. “Besides we’re with the band so we are totally safe!” 

Richie knew how much Eddie hated big parties and he couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed that he hadn’t mentioned the location of his gig. Eddie was starting to regret his decision to come. 

When they pulled in everyone was on edge. Especially after seeing the number of cars and rowdy teens stumbling into the house. 

“Cmon ya babies!” Bev laughed at the timid boys as they inched their way out of the car and reluctantly joined the crowd towards the house. 

Bev could see how uncomfortable Eddie already was, only walking a couple feet before being pushed into by some drunk guy. She quickly put her arm around him to make him feel more secure. “Let’s go find our trashmouth!” She smiled. 

Eddie faked a smile back at her, still very much pissed off that Richie would have him come here. To this dirty, smelly armpit of a party. 

The losers found their way inside, sticking to each others sides like glue in this strange place. Leave it to Richie to make them come to a place like this. 

The house was as weird as Eddie would have guessed it to be inside. There was little to no furniture besides a ripped up old couch and the walls were cracked and some even falling apart. The only lights inside were purple string lights hung loosely on the walls and a few strobes. Eddie felt disoriented by it all and was a little disgusted by it. Everything in there looked like something had been spilt on it or... oh god... thrown up on. Eddie gagged at that thought. He could feel himself become more and more angry. Why the fuck would Richie want him to come here. 

They pushed their way up to the front of the makeshift stage in what Eddie assumed used to be the living room. It was kind of an unspoken agreement that they would just wait there until the Derry Fairies came out, not wanting to wander much.

Eddie stood with his arms crossed and pouting. He was happy that Richie would be able to see him from there so he would know how unhappy he was with him.

They waited about an hour, their Legs tired from standing, when they heard walking on the stage above them and snapped out of their slump. 

The band walked up on the stage and settled in for a moment, adjusting their instruments. 

“Hey there everyone.” James said into the microphone. “We’re the Derry fairies and we are gunna play some music for you beautiful people tonight.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes at that. 

James looked at Richie who nodded at him and then back at their drummer who started to bang her drum sticks together, followed by a loud burst of music. 

The crowd immediately started to gather towards the stage, people pushing into each other to get closer. 

Eddie looked up at his boyfriend, completely entranced by how he played. He had never really seen Richie full musician mode before and even though he was mad he had to admit, it was sexy as hell. Richie’s wild dark curls were pulled every which-way by a bandana and his tight black jeans were hugging his ass and thighs tight. His black nail polish topped it off so nicely... fuck. 

The first verse came and Richie began to sing into the microphone. 

The losers all cringed, expecting Richie's trash mouth to completely butcher the song... but instead they were hit with a surprisingly blissful voice. 

“She’s got a smile that seems to me reminds me of childhood memories...” Richie sang. 

Eddie’s heart fluttered in his chest. 

The losers looked at each other in shock and then began to hoot and holler and sing along with Richie... even Stan. 

“That’s my best friend!” Bev screamed. 

Eddie was bouncing up and down with everyone when he noticed a couple girls reaching for Richie at the edge of the stage and screaming for him. 

“Oh my god he’s so hot!” One of them yelled to her friend. 

Eddie felt his face heat up at that. “That’s my boyfriend you hussies!” He couldn't help but blurt out. 

Beverly turned to Eddie in surprise, shocked by his boldness and laughed. 

Eddie started to laugh too as he realized the ridiculousness of the situation. He focused his attention back on Richie and all of the anger he had felt earlier seemed to subside as his heart beamed with pride.

Richie continued to sing and suddenly looked down at Eddie, locking eyes with him. “woah... woah, sweet love of mine.” He sang as he winked at Eddie.

Some drunk girl behind him screamed at that but Eddie knew it was for him. He smiled up at Richie cheekily. 

Damn Eddie wanted to fuck him. 

The band played a ton of great songs and the people couldn’t get enough of them. 

Finally, after playing for a couple hours Richie told them that the next song would be their last for the night. 

Eddie was relieved to hear that. He loved watching Richie play but he was ready to be alone with him. Also, he was tired of standing. 

Richie started to sing somebody to love and Eddie’s heart felt like butter the way it melted. 

Eddie’s gushing over Richie was short lived though when he saw James get closer to him and join in on the singing. He wasn’t as good as Richie but people started to hoot and holler at them. Eddie started to feel sick the closer James got to Richie. He watched closely as James trailed his hands up Richie’s side and pulled on his T-shirt to get them closer. 

What the fuck was happening? James had promised Eddie... he promised he wouldn’t... 

Richie looked uncomfortable but continued to smile through it since the crowd seemed to be eating it up - to Eddie’s surprise. He guessed homophobia wasn’t a thing when everyone was high and drunk and horny. 

James looked down to give Eddie once last look. In that look Eddie understood. He understood that James had lied about everything. It was the fuck you of looks. 

That’s when it happened. James leaned in and planted a kiss on Richie’s lips. 

Eddie just stared. frozen in that moment. It felt like it went on forever when it only must have been a few seconds before Richie pushed him away. Eddie couldn’t think about that part though. All he could think about was James’s lips on Richie’s. Tasting what he tasted like. 

Beverly looked at Eddie slowly, face full of concern. “Eddie? Eddie are you okay?!” She yelled over the crowd. 

Eddie turned towards her and the rest of the losers who were all giving him the same sympathetic look. He couldn’t stand how embarrassed he felt... how stupid he felt. 

“No!” He finally shouted back at Bev. Eddie then started to push through the crowd, frantically trying to get out. The walls were closing in. 

“Eddie!” Bev called after him, but he didn’t stop. 

He needed some air. He couldn’t fucking breathe.


	22. Antichrist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your patience! I’m trying to get these chapters out as soon as I can! Also, thank you so much for all the amazing comments!! They are worth more than gold to me and make me want to keep writing! <3 I love you guys and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Richie watched as Eddie ran off and immediately pushed James away to go after him.

James quickly stopped him by grabbing onto the front of his shirt and aggressively pulling him back before he could go anywhere. 

Richie snapped his head around to give James a dirty look. What the fuck was he doing?! Kissing him like that... and in front of Eddie?! James was giving him a warning look, his eyes practically demanding that Richie stay there. It was the look of someone who knew they held all the power. He could destroy Richie’s life at any moment by telling Eddie the truth. Richie looked into those threatening green eyes and was reminded of that. 

He continued to look frantically between where Eddie had run off and James before deciding to risk the silent threats and go after Eddie. He tore James’s hands off of him with a loud grunt and ran off the stage. 

“Tozier! What the fuck?!” James called after him. 

Richie ignored him and continued to sprint as fast as his long spider-like legs would carry him. He pushed through the crowd of people and flew out the door into the snow which was a harsh reminder that he’d left his coat inside. Whatever. He was too concerned about Eddie to worry about the cold. 

As he made his way through the thick falling snow and darkness he called out for Eddie. 

“Eddie! Ed’s!”

“Don’t call me that.” A voice came from behind him. 

Richie turned around to find his boyfriend, angry and shaking. 

“Eds!” Richie yelled as he went in to hug him. Eddie quickly stopped him by putting a firm hand against his chest.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Richie sighed as he took a step back.

“Is that all you have to fucking say!?” Eddie shivered out, his face red and puffy from crying.

“Ed’s you’re cold...” Richie reached a hand out to Eddie but was rejected again when he stepped back out of his reach. “Please just... just let me drive you home.” Richie practically begged. 

Eddie stood angrily in silence for a minute, thinking it over. “Fine.” He finally said. 

Richie let out a relieved breath and smiled a little at Eddie who refused to return it. Richie didn’t care though.... He was just happy that Eddie was at least willing to go with him. 

“Fuck.” Richie blurted out when they got to his truck. He'd realized that he forgot his keys that were in his coat pocket. He looked down at Eddie apologetically. “Babe, I’m so sorry but I have to go back for my keys.” 

Eddie just huffed out a frustrated sigh at that.

“Stay here! I’ll be right back!” Richie yelled.

Eddie watched as he disappeared back into the house. He hoped it wouldn’t take him too long. Eddie hated this night... and he hated James for kissing Richie. He felt sick from it all and wanted to get the hell out of there as quick as possible. 

“Hey Eds.” A voice suddenly said from behind him. 

Eddie jumped and turned to see James looking down at him and grinning. Something was off about the way he was eyeing Eddie... like he was a prey that had just stumbled into a trap. 

“I told you not to call me that.” Eddie hissed as his anger flooded back.

James laughed wickedly. “You don’t scare me kid.” 

Eddie turned as red as a tomato at that. The arrogance of this boy was unbelievable.

“You know, you’re really starting to fuck things up for me.” James suddenly let out. 

Eddie tensed. James’s demeanor had changed completely from the last time they spoke. He felt more dangerous now... more threatening.

“I was going to play this stupid little game of charades with you until Richie finally figured out what was good for him, but I can see now that he won’t as long as you’re around.” 

Eddie was stunned, finally hearing what he’d known all along. He fucking knew this guy was trouble. He pointed a warning finger at James. “Stay the fuck away from him.” Eddie seethed, not recognizing his own voice as the anger took over him.

James just continued to grin like Eddie’s anger was amusing to him. He began to circle around him like a vulture, waiting to strike. 

“I guess we could always share him.” James shrugged. He was obviously trying to see how far he could bend Eddie until he broke. 

Eddie’s face pinched into a disgusted scowl at the suggestion. Eddie didn’t share... Especially not Richie. 

James leaned in from behind close to Eddie’s ear. “I’ll take his mouth and you can take the back… because I’m generous.” 

Eddie jolted forward away from James and turned around to face him. How dare he talk about Richie that way?! That was too far... too far for Eddie. He could feel the rage vibrate through his whole body and before he could think it through or fully realize what he was doing he lunged forward towards James fist first. He clenched his eyes shut as he was preparing himself for impact but was surprised when he suddenly hit something that wasn’t James’s face.

Eddie quickly opened his eyes and looked up to see Richie wheezing. He had stepped between them and took Eddie’s punch to the chest. 

“Fuck… Ed’s.” Richie breathed out, winded. 

“Richie, What the fuck?! Why’d you stop me?!” Eddie yelled, adrenaline and anger still rushing through him. 

Richie hunched over, barely able to get a word out from Eddie’s blow. “What the fuck is going on?” He asked, rubbing his chest. 

Eddie reached over and pointed an angry finger at James. “I knew it Rich... I fucking knew it.” Was all he could manage to get out because as soon as he started talking he was being choked by frustrated sobs.

Richie turned around to face James. “What the fuck did you say to him?” He demanded. Sure, James could tell Eddie everything and destroy their relationship with one sentence but Richie didn’t care about that right now. No one made his Eddie spaghetti cry. 

James took a step back from Richie, looking almost hurt. It was apparent that James wasn’t used to being talked to like that. The moment was fleeting though, because as quickly as his insecurity showed it was gone again. 

“I just thought he should know the truth.” James said, cocking an eyebrow; challenging Richie to say something. 

Richie stepped back, eyes wide and pleading.

Eddie pulled on the back of Richie’s shirt. “What is he talking about Rich?” 

Richie looked back at Eddie, fear painted plainly on his face. It was a fear that Eddie hadn’t seen in Richie in a long time. 

“What? Are you worried your perfect little boyfriend won’t love you anymore if he finds out who you really are?” James asked, venom between his lips. He was enjoying every moment of this. 

Richie just kept shaking his head, not knowing what to say or how to stop him. 

Eddie shook him a little. Richie’s silence only made Eddie more nervous. “Richie?!” He shouted frantically. 

Richie snapped out of it a bit and looked down at Eddie who was trembling now. He looked so worried... so scared. 

“James please don’t do this...” Richie begged as he turned back to look at him. “I love Eddie.”

Richie wasn’t sure why he said it... it probably wouldn’t help in this situation but it kind of just came out of him. 

He looked back at Eddie who was still clinging to his shirt. He was looking up at Richie with an equally loving and confused look. 

Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what they were talking about at this point but hearing Richie tell James that he loved him was enough to make him feel somewhat steady again. 

James stood silent, scowling at the pair. He didn’t seem to know what to say to that, looking defeated by those three words. His anger seemed to build as Eddie and Richie just stared at each other, sharing a moment. 

“No!” James yelled suddenly, causing Eddie and Richie to look back at him. “You’re a fucking liar Richie!” He lunged at them, grabbing Richie’s arm and pulling. 

“What the fuck?! Let go!” Richie yelled as he tried to wiggle out of James’s tight grip. 

Eddie pulled Richie back to him and pushed James with his other hand. “Get off of him!” 

James refused to let go, looking as though he had snapped. “Don’t be an idiot! He’ll never accept you! He’ll leave you!” 

“No!” Richie shouted as tears filled his eyes. 

James pressed on with an evil smile stretched across his face. “He doesn’t love you!” 

“No!” Richie yelled again. He finally had enough. This son of a bitch went too far. Richie let go of Eddie, using his now free arm to finish Eddie’s job and punch James in the face. 

James fell back with a loud groan and held his bleeding nose in shock. He looked down at the blood covering his hand and then up at Richie. 

“You...” James looked sad for a moment before pure anger washed over him. “You're going to fucking regret that Tozier!” He yelled before getting up and ominously walking off without saying another word. 

Richie watched him go, breathing heavily and resting his palms on his knees. 

Fuck. What did he just do? 

He suddenly felt the gentle touch of Eddie’s hand on his back. 

“Chee?” 

Richie stood up straight and turned towards him. “Can I please hug you now?” He asked, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Eddie nodded and quickly wrapped his arms around Richie’s middle, pressing his face into his boney chest. He obviously needed it just as much as Richie did. 

They stayed like that for a while until Eddie turned his head up to look at Richie.

“Can we go to yours?” He asked. 

“Sure baby.” 

The whole ride home Richie just let Eddie talk. It wasn’t often that it was Eddie who had more to say than Richie, except when something really stressful happened... Eddie always babbled to organize his thoughts while Richie shut down. 

Eddie’s nervous talking mostly consisted of him telling Richie how stupid he was for trusting such a slime ball in the first place. He kept switching from being mad at Richie to being mad at James. He was probably a little of both. He also made sure to include the famous Eddie “I told you so” speech that Richie had heard so many times before. 

Richie just listened. He had a lot on his mind too... he was totally, irreparably fucked. 

He punched James in the face. His boss’s son. AKA The all powerful drug lord who could easily make a small town boy like Richie disappear. Kids went missing all the time in Derry after all.

It was only a matter of time before Eddie found out about everything now. There was no way James was going to keep quiet after that. 

At least if Eddie hated him it wouldn’t be so terrible when James’s dad had him killed.

Richie looked over at Eddie... watching his little facial expressions and taking in the way his mouth curved and nose crinkled when he talked. He had always paid close attention to those things but now he was taking a mental picture. Even while Eddie was yelling at him, he looked so beautiful. Richie didn’t know how long he had left to look at Eddie like this. 

“Richie are you even listening to me?!” Eddie huffed out when he saw Richie staring blankly at him. 

Richie felt his eyes start to fill with tears. Fuck. 

He turned his full attention back towards the road, hoping Eddie didn’t notice. 

“Rich? Are you okay?” 

Fuck he noticed. 

“I’m fine... my hand... my hand just hurts.” Richie lied. 

Eddie looked at Richie’s bruised knuckles on the steering wheel and frowned. He reached out and lightly touched the black and blue skin, making Richie flinch.

“I’ll wrap it up when we get back.” Eddie said. 

Richie smiled at that. He would miss Eddie taking care of him.

When they got to the house it was dark inside. Aunt Molly had called it a night and Bill hadn’t dropped Beverly off yet. 

“I hope the guys are okay... we kinda ditched em back there.” Richie said guiltily. 

“I’m sure they’ll understand. They saw what happened up there too...”

Richie felt even worse at that. He’d forgotten that the kiss happened in front of all the losers. He wondered if they'd be mad at him too.

“I’m going to call my mom.” Eddie said as he made his way to the kitchen telephone. 

When she answered she was met with the same warn out routine that Eddie always gave her. “Sorry ma. Yes I’m fine, I’m just going to stay at Bill’s tonight... I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

As he hung up Richie laughed beside him, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. “Lying to your mom again? You know she’ll probably go on a murder spree if she finds you here again... and I’ll be her first victim.”

“Honestly Rich, I've got more important things to worry about.” Eddie snapped. 

Richie frowned and lowered his head a bit at that. 

Eddie couldn't help but feel a little bad as he watched Richie kick his own ass. He knew how much Richie hated it when Eddie was really mad at him, probably stemming from his fear of abandonment from the abuse he endured with his parents.

Eddie knew this but he just couldn't find it in himself to let it all go yet. The thought of James’s lips against Richie’s still burned into his mind.

Eddie’s eyes suddenly focused on the curve of Richie’s sad lips. He reached out for them and traced his fingers along the outline of his pout.

“Eddie?” Richie questioned as he tried to meet Eddie’s gaze. 

Eddie stayed silent as he let the tips of his fingers move in and out of Richie’s mouth. The pull of his lips and warmth of his breath against Eddie’s hand engulfed him. It was Richie’s mouth. The same mouth that had teased him relentlessly growing up and the mouth that told him that he loved him. It was the same mouth that James said he would “take”. As if something that precious could be taken. No. Eddie owned that mouth. 

He squeezed at his lips tightly, pulling a surprised sound from Richie. 

“Edths whath are you doing?” Richie struggled through pinched lips. 

Eddie didn’t answer him. He just continued to stare before lunging forward to press their lips together aggressively. He pulled at the front of Richie’s shirt, practically climbing him to get closer.

“Richie... Richie…” Eddie moaned desperately onto his mouth.

“Eds… uh not that I dont… dont love a good make out… session… but dont you… you want to… talk?” Richie asked between frantic kisses. 

Eddie just ignored him and continued to kiss him sloppily, nibbling at his swollen lips. 

Richie wondered whether or not he should be worried. On one hand Eddie could be suffering from some kind of mental breakdown, but on the other hand he was sucking face with Richie like his life depended on it and something that good shouldnt be questioned… Right? 

Richie wanted to just enjoy this… to get lost in Eddie’s touch, but the thought that Eddie would probably regret all of this once he found out about everything kept creeping up on him. The guilt was swallowing him just as much as Eddie was. 

“Eddie, wait. We need to talk.” Richie said sternly as he grabbed either side of Eddie and pushed him back. “listen…I…” 

Before Richie could get another word out he felt himself being pushed and his back suddenly hit the fridge with a large thump. Eddie held him there, looking as though he was angry enough to kill. 

“No. I’m done talking Richie.” Eddie said in a low voice. 

Richie wiggled a little, frustrated. “But I need to explain…” 

Eddie suddenly let his fingernails drag down the skin on Richie’s arms. It wasn’t enough to draw blood, but was enough to make him squirm. 

Richie winced a bit at the sting. “Eddie?” 

Eddie put a finger to Richie’s lips and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Shut up. I don’t want to talk. I just want you… right now.”


	23. Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry I took so long to post! This chapter took me way too long and I kept going back over it until I felt crazy and the words were blending together. I finally just decided to say fuck it and post it. So, i'm sorry for any errors but I just cant read it again! lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter! xoxoxo

Richie wanted to let it go. To for once stop talking and just let Eddie do what he wanted. (Which was have some amazing, mind blowing sex btw.) But he just couldn’t find it in himself to. He knew Eddie was still mad and they needed to talk about what happened. 

Richie bit down on his lip when he felt Eddie’s warm breath in his skin as he moved down his neck, trailing wet kisses behind him. Eddie’s insistence was hard to resist. He had managed to drag Richie all the way up to his bedroom where he had immediately pushed him onto the bed and straddled him. 

Richie let it go on for a moment more before finding the strength to grab Eddie's arms and hold him in place.

"Richie C'mon.” Eddie whined.

“Eddie you're still upset." 

“Well I wouldn’t be upset if you weren’t acting like I was molesting you right now!” Eddie huffed out as he got off of Richie’s lap angrily and stood in front of him. “Do you not like me now or something? Did kissing James make you realize you want something else?” Eddie started to sniff. “Someone else...” 

Richie just stared up at him from the bed. His heart broke when he saw tears in Eddie’s eyes. 

“Eddie...”

Eddie ignored him and continued, almost just to himself. “I can’t believe he fucking did that. Right in front of me. In front of the losers.” 

Richie could see Eddie start to make himself more upset as he went on, now using his angry hand gestures to get his point across. 

“I mean, that’s just disrespectful to say the least! And then he had the fucking nerve to suggest that we...” Eddie stopped for a moment, dragging his hand over his face, clearly frustrated and not wanting to finish that sentence. “...About doing things to you that I don’t ever want to imagine someone else doing to you!” Eddie breathed heavily, looking as if he was going to punch something.

“Eddie...” Richie said again. He stood up slowly from the bed and reached out for him, cupping Eddie's cheeks with his hands and bringing him in for a soft kiss.

It seemed to work as Richie felt Eddie calm at his touch. 

“Rich?” Eddie whispered when they broke the kiss. 

“I love you Eddie. Only you.”

Eddie's cheeks turned pink under Richie's intense stare. His dark eyes looking over him fondly.

“forever." Richie added. 

Eddie smiled a little at that and nuzzled into the hand that still held his face and kissed it gently. He then turned back to look up at Richie and reached up to run his hands through the dark curls on the sides of his head, bringing him back down for a kiss. 

“Show me.” Eddie breathed between the hard, desperate kiss. "Please Rich... I just need you to show me." 

Eddie began to push on Richie’s chest, moving with him as they made their way back to the bed. When that back of Richie’s knees hit the bed he fell onto it, Eddie going with him. 

It wasn’t long before they striped out of their clothes. Richie understood now why Eddie wanted this, needed for them to be connected in that way.

“Fuck Rich... you fuck me so good.” Eddie moaned loudly as he scratched red marks down Richie's back and wrapped his legs around him, never wanting to let him go. He always wanted to stay that close. “Mine.” Eddie whispered into his ear. "All mine." Richie had always been his. Eddie knew that, but he wanted Richie to know it too. That Eddie was proud to have him. Maybe it was wrong to feel ownership over someone but Eddie felt it with Richie. 

Richie didn’t seem to disagree with him. “Yes... fuck. Always Eddie... always.” 

Eddie liked hearing Richie agree with him. It was hot hearing him submit to that fact. That he was undeniably Eddie's.

“Say it.” Eddie demanded. 

“Fuck.” Richie breathed as he continued to fuck Eddie. “I’m yours Eddie... only yours... fuck.”

Eddie’s insecurities faded away as he felt Richie inside him, sending pleasure shooting through his body as he fucked in and out of him. He looked into Richie’s focused dark brown eyes as he hovered over him, his broad shoulders stretching far past Eddie’s petite stature. He felt safe here, below Richie. 

The moment was far more bittersweet for Richie who still had James’s voice echoing in his mind. “You’re going to regret that.” Richie was sure that was true. He made sure to take his time and take in Eddie’s facial expressions and the little o shape his mouth made when Richie hit that magic spot. He took in the way Eddie was looking at him. Pride hanging there in his eyes and so much love. It was a love Richie hadn’t known before Eddie. A love that would be gone soon. 

It wasn’t long before they both hit their release, coming hard in and on each other.

“Eddie...” 

“Oh yeah baby... say my name.” Eddie breathed when he thought Richie was still coming.

“Eddie...” Richie said again. 

This time Eddie realized that Richie was crying. He immediately became worried. “Rich? Oh fuck... did I hurt you? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to...” 

“Eddie, do you think you could hate me?” 

“Could I hate you?” Eddie asked, confused. 

“Yeah... like actually hate me?” Richie asked shakily as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

Eddie reached up to wipe them away. “Chee... what are you talking about?” 

Richie began to wipe his own tears away, realizing how embarrassing this was. Especially after what they just did. He rolled off of Eddie onto his back. “I just... I don’t want you to hate me.” 

"To be honest Rich, I’ve been really REALLY mad at you... many times.” Eddie kind of laughed. “But no... I don’t think I could ever hate you.” He leaned over to press a kiss to Richie’s shoulder. “I love you.” 

Richie turned to him, looking at him with those still sad eyes. “Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

The days that followed were some of the most excruciating of Richie’s life. He constantly felt on edge, like he was just waiting for James to strike. It was even worse when James didn’t show up to school. He had completely disappeared. The quiet was eerie and it made Richie feel like something truly terrible was coming. 

Richie almost had a heart attack when he heard someone call his name as he walked to his truck after school. 

“Tozier!”

Richie turned around in a panic. Oh fuck it’s him... it’s... Bowers? 

“Henry?” Richie let out when he saw the blonde haired bully there. He never thought he’d feel relieved to see him. 

Richie’s relief was short lived though when he remembered where they were - standing in the middle of the school parking lot in broad daylight, with students all around. Fuck. Eddie can’t see them together. He looked down nervously at the backpack that hung in Bower's hand, knowing whatever was in it wasn’t something he wanted broadcast to the whole school.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Richie let out, looking back and forth anxiously.

Henry scoffed at him, annoyed. “What am I doing here?!” He asked in disbelief. 

Richie looked at him a little confused which made Henry all the more angry. 

“Well since you didn’t bother to show up today I had to come to you.” He said as he threw the bag in Richie’s direction. 

Richie let the bag fall, watching as it hit the wet pavement. 

“Nice catch idiot.” Bowers sneered. He watched as Richie just stared at the bag. “You gunna pick it up? Boss will have us killed if that gets ruined.”

Richie’s head snapped up to look at him. “Oh... um yeah... I just....” Richie didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know how much Henry knew, if anything. “He still wants me to deal?”

Henry gave him a weird look. “Yeah?” 

Richie looked back down at the bag, now very concerned. What the fuck was going on? There’s no way James’s dad would still have him work for him after what happened... unless James didn’t tell him. But why wouldn’t he? And why would James just disappear? It didn’t make sense. This must be a trap.

Richie nudged the bag with his foot a little to test the waters before bending down and carefully picking it up. 

He looked it over, examining it as if it were a bomb. (For all he knew, it might be.) 

Henry watched as he did this, pure confusion on his face. 

Richie let out a sigh of relief when he found nothing dangerous about the bag. “Alright... nothing potentially life threatening here.” He said as he hooked the bag around his shoulder. “Well... besides the coke... and acid... and...”

“You get fucking weirder everyday Tozier.” Bowers said, cutting him off. He gave Richie one last strange look before reminding him not to forget about meeting him next time.

Richie tried not to dwell on the fact that everything seemed so suspicious. James couldn’t have just let it go. 

Another week of silence went by and Richie was exhausted from the endless waiting. He started to wonder if it was all just in his head. Maybe everything would be okay. Maybe.

Eddie on the other hand was not so convinced, he spent every minute analyzing Jame’s disappearance. 

“I don’t know... it’s just weird you guys. Who just stops coming to school like that?” Eddie vented to the losers at lunch. 

“Eddie C'mon.” Ben groaned, growing wary of this tired subject. “Just be happy that he’s gone now. That’s what you wanted, Right?” 

Eddie just sighed. 

“Maybe he realized how embarrassing it was to have willingly kissed Richie in front of all those people and decided to leave town and change his name.” Stan grinned.

Eddie just gave him a "really Stan? Not helpful." Look. 

Eddie turned to Richie who was just picking at his lunch. It was odd that he hadn’t come back with some kind of smart ass comment to Stan’s remark. 

“Richie?” 

Richie looked up from his plate. “What?” He obviously hadn’t been paying attention. 

Eddie frowned. “What’s wrong?” 

Richie shrugged. Act normal. James probably won’t come back. Everything is going to be... Mid thought Richie caught a glimpse of a familiar silhouette dart out of the cafeteria. He tensed and without thinking stood up out of his seat, spilling his milk over. 

“Richie?! What the hell?!” Stan yelled as he started to dab up the mess. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” Richie apologized shakily, his eyes stayed clued on the doorway where the figure had gone. “I gotta... I’ll be right back.” He shouted as he made his way to the exit. 

Eddie’s eyes followed him as he went, concern on his face. 

Richie didn't even have time to look around because as soon as he was in the hallway he felt himself being pulled back into a corner of the lockers. 

“Oooooffff!” 

He opened his eyes to find exactly who he had feared it would be. 

“James.” 

James gave Richie his signature sneaky smile. “Miss me, hot stuff?” 

Richie rolled his eyes and quickly pushed James away from him. 

“What the fuck?!” He whisper shouted to not draw attention to them. “Where the fuck have you been?!”

James made a kissy face and tried to reach out for Richie’s face. “Awe, were you worried about me?” 

Richie scoffed, batting James’s hand away. “You wish Jamie.” 

There was a short silence between them, it was almost friendly the way they smiled at the exchange - like when they were friends. But they weren't friends anymore. Richie isn't sure if they ever really were.

“So I guess you’re here for payback?” Richie asked. “Just get it over with then. Eddie’s right in there.” Richie pointed towards the cafeteria and as he spoke he could feel himself start to break. His chest grew heavier as he imagined Eddie’s reaction when he found out about everything. These were the last moments before Eddie hated him forever. 

James cocked an eyebrow at him. “Huh?” 

“You’re going to tell him, right? You’re going to tell him everything.” Richie spoke brokenly. The reality of the situation weighing heavier on him every moment. 

James suddenly laughed. “No, Richie I’m not going to tell him.” 

Richie snapped his sorrowful head up to look at James. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. James wasn’t going to tell Eddie? The words sounded fake. Like the too good to be true scenarios that Richie had played in his head. 

“What then?” Richie asked warily. There must be something else then. “You gunna kidnap me? Torture me? What?!” 

James started to laugh even more, deepening Richie's confusion. 

“Tozier, I’m not going to kidnap or torture you.” James said as he started to lean a little closer, giving Richie a good look at his black eye. “No matter how tempting that sounds. I’m here to tell you I’m sorry.”

“What?” Richie asked. Now he was sure that he had walked into some kind of alternate universe.

“Yeah, I was wrong to kiss you like that. I can see now that you’ll never feel for me what you feel for Eddie.” James pointed to his shiner. “You made that pretty clear.” 

“Oh.” Was all Richie could seem to get out. He was in shock. An apology was the last thing he ever expected. “It’s okay.” Richie finally said. “I’m sorry I punched you.” 

James just kind of nodded his head at that. “Oh and another thing...” He said as if he’d just remembered something. James reached into the back pocket of his dark jeans and pulled out a bag of weed, handing it to Richie. “A peace offering.” 

Richie looked down at the bag and back at James. He’d never turn down free pot but getting it from the guy you just gave a black eye to was weird to say the least. 

“I figured You’d want some from me one last time. You know I've got the best shit... Maybe you and Eddie could share it or something.” 

Richie couldn’t help but laugh at that. Eddie would NEVER do that stuff with him, but he appreciated what James was trying to do. “He’s not really the type but thanks... Bev and I will enjoy this later.” 

“That’ll work too.” James smiled. “Anyways, I guess I should tell you that I talked to my dad and you’re off the hook. The supply Bowers gave you was your last.” 

Richie stared at him for a minute, processing his words slowly. “What do you mean?” He asked. He needed to know that James was really saying what he thought. 

“I mean, I know you didn’t want to do it anymore and no offense but I don’t really want to see you around anymore... So you’re done dealing.”

Richie could feel a smile start to creep up on his lips. “Are you serious?!” Richie asked giddily as he ran his fingers through his hair, pushing the dark curls that laid on his forehead out of his face. 

“Yeah." James let out. 

“James thank you! Thank you so much man!” Richie said as he placed a hand on James’s shoulder. James was probably doing it more for himself than Richie but still.

Richie felt all the weight he had been holding lift off his body. Sure, he didn’t know how he would pay for school now but he’d figure it out. All that mattered was he didn’t have to lie and sneak around anymore.

James just stared at the hand on his shoulder with an unreadable expression. 

Richie lifted his hand off and rubbed the back of his head. "Well I guess I should get back. I'm pretty sure I just had a minor breakdown in front of my friends and they'll probably come looking for me soon." 

James just nodded and they smiled at each other one last time before Richie walked back into the lunch room. 

James watched as Richie went, a small smile on his face. “Bye Tozier.” He whispered to himself.

After that, everything felt lighter to Richie. Like the weight of the world wasn't as heavy anymore. For the first time in a long time, life felt good. Really good. He had Eddie. No more lies to come between them. It was a fresh slate. 

Richie grabbed his bag out of his locker after school and made his way to go meet Eddie by his truck. They were going to spend all night reading comics like they did when they were kids... plus some bonus fucking. Ahhh, domestic bliss.

"Hey Richie." A small voice suddenly came from behind him and Richie felt a small hand tugging on his coat.

Richie turned to the voice to find Luke Murphy. 

He was a freshman... maybe fifteen years old. He was a quiet kid that kept to himself. Richie had been selling to him for the last couple months, and by the looks of it, maybe that had been a couple months too much. 

Luke was shaking - looking nervous and jittery. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheekbones were sunken in. Richie couldn't believe how different the boy looked now. Was this his fault? It was... wasn't it? 

Richie swallowed hard. "Oh... Hey Luke. Whats up?" 

"Do you have anything?" Luke let out quickly. "I need something." 

"Oh... well I'm sorry but I don't really deal anymore." Richie said sympathetically. He could tell that that wasn't going to fly when Luke suddenly looked panicked. 

"What? No!" 

Richie started to walk back a little, wanting desperately to get away from this situation. To get away from what he'd done to this boy. "Yeah... i'm sorry... but I..." 

Luke moved towards him, starting to grab at him frantically. "No! Please! You must have something! Anything!" 

Richie stopped and thought for a second. He couldn't leave him like this. He reached into his pocket to pull out the bit of weed that James had given him. It wasn't exactly what Luke was looking for, but it would at least take the edge off. 

Richie handed the bag to him. "This is all I've got kid." 

Richie watched as Luke held the bag tight to his chest... Like it was his lifeline. 

Richie had been wary to start selling to a freshman but when Luke told him about his home life and how his parents treated him Richie felt he had to help in some way. He was selling an escape and he thought that was what Luke needed... But seeing him now, maybe he just needed a friend. 

Luke started to walk away, bag still held tightly in hand. 

"Hey Kid! Wait!" Richie yelled, walking after him. 

Luke turned to face him, quickly stuffing the bag into his pocket as if he were worried Richie would take it back. 

"Listen, you don't need that shit. I should have never sold it to you in the first place."

Luke just stared blankly at him, looking like like a Zombie. Maybe he was too far gone for help now. But Richie had to try. 

Richie cracked a smile to ease the tension and tapped at the pocket Luke had put the weed. "This right here is all you need. It doesn't come with all that crap the other stuff does and it'll do the trick." 

James looked down at the bag and then back up at Richie. "It will?" He asked.

"Sure! It helped me when I was stuck with my shit parents." 

Luke just smiled at him sadly. "Okay... thanks Richie." He said before walking off. 

Richie didn't feel any better watching him go this time. He knew that what Luke was hooked on was going to be with him for a long time. 

Richie sighed and tried to shake off the sick feeling he felt after that conversation. He was going to do better now. A clean slate. No more lies. No more dealing. No more being a piece of shit.


	24. Robbers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL I want to apologize for taking so long to post. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I'm sure a lot of you are feeling it too with the current state of our world. But writing has always helped me and made me happy so here we are again. I hope you guys are doing okay and I promise I wont take so long next time. <3

“C'mon Eds, don’t be like that! I didn’t say that Poison Ivy's hot... I just said she’s hotter than Wonder Woman.” 

Eddie scowled, throwing down his comic book and smacking Richie on the shoulder. "It's the same thing, Idiot!" He seethed as Richie just laughed. 

Richie couldn't help it. He was high on this new feeling... happiness maybe? All the worry and guilt that had been plaguing his mind for the last couple months was drifting away like a bad dream. He could tease and touch Eddie again without all that shit hanging over him.

“You are such an asshole.” Eddie muttered as he picked up the comic he'd thrown. He leaned back up against the bed, trying to get back into it. "You're lucky you have all the good editions."

"Oh, so that's why you're with me... for my extensive comic book collection?"

"Well it's definitely not for your personality." Eddie let out, still annoyed.

Richie leaned in towards Eddie, wearing a cheeky grin. "Lighten up Edwardo. If you were to say that captain America was hotter than say… Batman, I wouldn’t care.” 

Eddie peaked at Richie from the corner of his eye. "Oh really?" 

Richie just nodded, looking pretty certain of his unbreakable indifference. 

Eddie smirked. Okay. Two can play at that game. “Well first of all I would never say that. Captain America is SO not hotter than Batman.” He let out casually, still flipping through the pages of his comic. 

Richie’s smile immediately faded into a straight line. “Oh?” He questioned. 

Eddie put his comic down and turned towards him. “I mean, if you are going to compare someone to Batman at least compare him to someone who is equally hot… like Thor.” 

Richie just sat silent. Defeat already sitting plainly on his face. 

Eddie thought for a second, pushing it just a little further. “Even then though, I think Batman would still have him beat. He’s just…” Eddie stopped and sighed dramatically. “Dreamy.”

“Alright, Alright I get it… he’s a hunk.” Richie rolled his eyes and buried his nose in his comic.

Game, set, match. 

Eddie grinned and started crawling towards him. He placed his pointer finger on the top of Richie's comic book and pulled it down so that they were face to face. 

"Hey I was reading that!" Richie’s eyes grew wide when Eddie moved closer to him, their lips hovering just inches apart. 

“What? You don’t think Batman's hot?” Eddie breathed against him. He smelled like peppermint. 

Richie scowled, looking deliciously jealous which only made Eddie feel more victorious. Richie's smile returned though. A scheming one. And Eddie could tell Trahsmouth was in the works. 

“I’m more of a Robin man myself.” Richie shrugged, he moved his head so that his lips brushed against Eddie's ear. “I prefer the twinky ones.” He whispered.

Eddie felt a shiver roll down his back and he quickly pulled away, unable to hide the bright red of his face. "Beep beep assho-" 

Before Eddie had the chance to say anything else Richie's fingers found their way into the hoops of his jeans. Pulling him onto his lap so that Eddie was straddling him.

Richie's soft wet lips quickly found Eddie's neck and he began to kiss softly there, making Eddie's head spin. 

Eddie hated to admit it but he could never stay mad with Richie doing that. 

"Richie..." He gasped. Eddie tilted his head back to give Richie more access and let himself be taken by the feeling of pleasure and pain as Richie sucked bruises into the skin. 

after a moment Eddie started to realize this may not be the best idea. "Richie... My mom." He suddenly said as he pulled a bit on Richie's curls to get him to stop.

Richie tilted his head up to look at Eddie, eyelids heavy. "No problem baby boy." his eyes moved down to Eddie’s lips. “I can think of a few other things I wouldn't mind doing.”

Richie began to lean in and Eddie quickly reciprocated, meeting him halfway and crashing their lips together. Eddie immediately wrapped his arms around Richie's head to bring them closer, letting his fingers run through his dark hair.

Over the last couple months Richie had become hard to read. He felt far away and Eddie worried he would keep fading until he disappeared. But in this moment it felt like Richie was letting him in again. 

Eddie pulled away for a moment to look at him, pressing their foreheads together. "I Love you Rich... I really love you." 

"I love you too."

They continued their lovesick escapades until Bev knocked on the door to tell them that dinner was ready. 

At the table Richie couldn’t help but stretch his long leg over to the other side where Eddie was. 

“So, are you kids getting excited for graduation?” Aunt Molly asked as she placed their plates down in front of them.

“Yes...mpphhhh.” Eddie suddenly jumped when he felt Richie’s foot work it’s way up his leg and settle in between his legs. 

He shot a glare towards Richie but he just returned it with a wink, looking pretty proud of himself. 

Bev looked suspiciously back and forth between the two and rolled her eyes, quickly realizing what was going on. She smacked Richie in the thigh and mouthed "Stop." to which he just pouted at her innocently. 

Luckily Aunt Molly didn’t seem to notice as she sat down. “So Eddie, What are you planning to do after?” 

Eddie tensed a little and Richie followed suit. It wasn’t exactly a topic they had discussed much.

Eddie played with his food a bit, obviously a bit uncomfortable with the question. He kept his eyes down away from Richie when he spoke. 

“Well… I was kind of thinking about going to New York.” He said softly. 

Richie’s eyes moved up to look at Eddie. This was news to him. But in all honestly they had been avoiding the subject. Leaving had always sounded so glamorous. To get out of Derry and go somewhere better. They just never considered it would mean splitting up. 

Eddie peaked up to look at Richie who had an unreadable expression on his face. He could see the wheels turning behind those dark brown eyes. He knew Richie we’ll enough to know where his mind went. Eddie was leaving him. Abandoning him. And with everything that happened with Richie's parents, Eddie wanted to make sure Richie knew he would never do that.

“I don’t know though… it’s just one option. I don’t even know if I’ll get into the school there.” Eddie let out quickly. Trying to ease Richie's worry. 

“New York!? Wow! That would be something! You kids sure are getting out there!" Aunt Molly let out excitedly. She gestured towards Bev. “When Beverly told me she'd gotten into the University of California, Los Angeles I was just over the moon!" 

“What?!” Eddie and Richie yelled in unison. 

Bev just smiled at them innocently. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?!” Eddie yelled.

Bev rolled her eyes a bit. “Well I guess the cats out of the bag.” 

Richie just stared at Bev. He couldn’t help but feel kind of sick to his stomach. He wanted to be happy for her, but he felt like he was losing his family. they were all going to leave him behind.

“I was going to tell you guys.” Bev said as she looked over at Richie. He wasn't doing a good job at hiding how he felt, sitting quiet and now looking down at his food.

“Rich?” 

Richie looked up at her. "Hmm?" 

“What are you going to do? After graduation I mean…” She asked carefully. 

“Yes!” Aunt Molly chimed in. “What are your plans dear? Any schools in mind?” 

Richie’s head shrunk into his shoulders and he felt himself become stiff. “Oh I’m… I’m not sure really. I haven’t thought about it.”

That was a lie. Richie had thought about his future. Extensively. And he had to admit, it didn't look too promising. With him being an ex drug dealer without a family to support him or much money to his name. Even his grades had slipped a little since everything with James.

He knew one thing for sure, and that was that he wanted to be with Eddie. Richie had assumed he would go somewhere close by… But New York? Eddie had a college fund left to him from his father so he could go most anywhere but Richie would never be able to swing that. 

Richie felt a sick feeling starting in the pit of his stomach. He could never ask Eddie not to go if that’s what he really wanted. 

“A smart boy like you?” Aunt Molly questioned.

Richie forced a smile. He didn’t want any sympathy. “I just don’t know how realistic that is for me right now.” 

He didn’t have to say it. They all knew what he meant.

Aunt Molly looked down at her wine glass, swirling the dark red liquid around. “You know… i'm helping Beverly with school… financially.” She took a sip before continuing, obviously wanting to proceed cautiously. Not wanting to offend Richie in any way. “I’d be willing to do the same for you. If you had a desire to go to school. You are family now after all.” 

Richie blinked at her in shock. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They had gotten close while he’d been living there but he never thought she considered him family. 

“Really?” Richie let out. He looked over at Eddie who returned the same happy look. 

“Of Course sweetheart.” Aunt Molly said. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled and leaned over the table to place her hand over Richie’s. “You have a bright future ahead of you." 

Richie still had a hard time accepting the fact that someone, an adult, believed in him but he was getting used to it. He smiled at her and then back at Eddie. They shared a look. It was the look of hope. A hope that they might be together after all.

On Monday Bev and Richie walked into the school about fifteen minutes late as per usual, laughing about something stupid Richie had said in the car. 

"No Bev, You're saying it all wrong... I said..." They stopped when they felt the air change around them. It was heavier. 

The hallways, usually bustling with rowdy highschoolers were now almost silent. With only the sound of quiet, sad whispers.

Richie noticed a girl… a freshman named Olivia Bates crying while a few teachers and some students consoled her. 

Everyone seemed to just be watching it happen. Like some tragedy you couldn’t look away from. 

“Woah, who died?” Richie joked as they walked up to the rest of the losers. 

They all turned to him giving him the “Beep beep” with their eyes. 

“Richie… what’s wrong with you?” Stan hissed. 

“What?” Richie let out defensively. He wasn't sure what he had done wrong. 

Stan just rolled his eyes and looked back at Olivia. 

"No! He's gone! He's..." She shouted. It was painful to listen to. Richie thought maybe she was just another victim of one of the Derry boy's hit it and quit its. 

“What’s going on guys?” Bev asked. 

Ben turned towards her, speaking in a hushed voice. “A freshman boy died over the weekend. Drug overdose I guess... I think that’s his girlfriend.” 

Richie's heart felt like it had suddenly stopped and his blood ran cold. No. No. They couldn't be talking about...

“A freshman?” Richie asked shakily. “Who?” 

Please don't say it. please. 

“Luke Murphy.” 

Richie's whole world collapsed in that moment. His perfect new life, in arms reach just moments ago was gone. He suddenly felt nauseous as the world spun around him. He made his way over to the wall, trying to steady himself. 

All he could seem to hear or focus on was Olivia's cries, burning in his skull. 

“Richie? What’s wrong?” Eddie asked as he walked over to where Richie had gone. 

Richie tried to push the feeling down, along with the throw up he felt in his throat. He looked at Eddie. "I'm okay. I just feel a little sick." 

That was an understatement. 

Richie tried to act normal in class... tried to pretend that he didn't see Luke's gaunt, sad face every time he closed his eyes. It didn't seem to be working. He couldn't ignore this burning guilt inside him. Was this his fault? Did he kill Luke? Richie felt like he was losing it. He was starting to hear Luke's voice in his ear. "Help me." He whispered. "I need something. Anything." 

About half way through the day the principle came on the intercom to let the school know that there would be a mandatory assembly to honor Luke's memory.

Fuck that. Richie had already thrown up everything he had in his stomach and he was sure if he went it would take what was left of his sanity. 

Richie tried to sneak out of the school before the assembly started. no one needed to know why. Richie never went to assembly's. Why should he start now?

"there h-he is!" Bill let out, pointing at Richie as he snuck over to the school exit away from the crowd of students. 

Eddie looked over at Richie and squinted at him. "Richie!" 

Richie's shoulders immediately went up and he tensed. Fuck. 

He turned around to see the losers walking towards him. 

"Oh hey guys. I was just..." 

Eddie grabbed his arm, pulling him back towards the gym where everyone was going. "Come on. I know its depressing. But you cant skip this."

“I don’t think I can...” Richie started as he anxiously looked back at the exit. 

“Cmon Richie, are you that heartless that you want to skip an assembly for a dead kid?” Stan asked.

The word dead hit Richie in the gut. He’s dead. Because of Richie. 

Richie realized he wasn't getting out of this. He followed warily behind the losers to a spot at the top of the bleachers. 

He tried to just keep his head down through it all. To ignore the chaos he'd created. 

The assembly started with the principle talking about the dangers of drug use. which was tolerable enough. It wasn't until he revealed what had ultimately brought Luke to his untimely end that Richie really felt he might pass out... or die. Either would have been fine with him at this point. 

"It doesn't matter what you are doing or how bad you think it is. No drug is a safe drug. Luke overdosed on weed that had been laced with fentanyl." 

Richie's mind raced. It had been the weed he gave Luke. The weed from James. 

It all started to click. James gave him that weed with the intention of killing Richie. 

But Richie gave it to Luke. 

"We arn't sure where it came from or why someone would target Luke like this but this is why we need to be vigilant and warn about these dangers so that this doesn't happen again."

Richie could feel himself start to break into a cold sweat. It should have been him. 

He tried to act normal. Don't let them see what you did. Don't let Eddie see. 

It got harder to ignore when Olivia came out to say a few words about Luke. 

Don’t look at her. Don’t listen. 

“Luke was quiet. Most of you probably don’t even know who he was... and now you never will.” 

She stopped a moment, becoming upset. 

“Which is a shame because...” She couldn’t help but break down, tears filling her eyes. She continued through her strained sobs. “Because he was amazing. Talented and kind. He should have had a bright future, but someone stole that from him.” 

Please make it stop. Make it stop. Richie grabbed the sides of his head, trying to block it all out. The sadness. The hurt. Too much dark. "Someone stole that from him." The walls started caving in around Richie and he couldn't catch his breath. He had to get out of there.

“Richie? Are you okay?” Richie heard Ben ask from beside him. 

Richie couldn’t answer. He couldn’t do anything but sit there and feel the heaviness in his chest weighing him down like a wave, drowning him. He turned his head to look at the losers who were now all staring at him. They looked like blobs through the thickness of his tears. 

Richie just shook his head and without thinking stood up and stumbled down the bleachers and out into the hallway. He could hear the losers call after him a few times but he couldn’t face them right now. 

Eddie found Richie by his truck in the back of the school parking lot. He was on the ground, holding his knees to his chest and burying his face in his legs. 

He immediately ran to him. “Rich?! Richie are you okay?! What happened?” Eddie asked frantically as he crouched down in front of him, looking him over as if his pain were something as simple as a scratch.

Richie didn’t bother to lift his head - muffling his words.

“What Rich? I can’t hear you.” 

Richie paused for a few seconds before finally lifting his head. His cheeks were splotched red and tears hung off his eyelashes. 

Eddie breathed in and furrowed his brow in worry. He didn't think he had ever seen Richie look so broken. 

“It’s my fault Eds...” Richie sniffed, his voice strained. 

“Richie what’s your fault?” Eddie asked. He reached over to try and wipe Richie’s tears with the sleeve of his coat but Richie flinched away. 

He felt as though he was choking on the truth. It was sitting there in his throat so close to the surface. Begging to come out. Richie moved his eyes away from Eddie. He didn't want to see it when the love left his eyes. 

“The kid. Luke. I killed him.” 

there was short silence between them. Richie wished he could live in that moment a little longer. Before everything changed.

“What... What are you talking about Rich?” Eddie asked warily as he stood and started to back away. 

Richie buried his face in his hands. He didn’t want to face this.

Just one second more. He wasn’t ready. 

“Rich what the hell are you talking about?!” Eddie yelled this time, becoming more and more upset. 

Richie finally moved his hands away from his face. He took one last breath. “Eddie... I gave him that weed.” Here it came. The truth. And it only took a kid dying for him to do it. 

Eddie just stared at him. Not fully believing what he was hearing. “W-What? You… no. You gave it to him? Why did you... how did you...” 

“I got it from James. it was supposed to kill me.” 

“He... why did you give it to Luke?” Eddie asked, He looked as though he might fall apart. He pulled anxiously at the hair on the sides of his head. 

Richie breathed out slowly, closing his eyes and trying to gather himself before this next part. He could feel his heart beating against his chest. 

“I’ve been dealing Eddie. For James’s dad." The tears began to fall again uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Eddie. I'm so sorry." 

Eddie stopped moving and he just stared at Richie, now crying too. 

“What?” He asked again as if he hadn't heard what Richie said. He didn't want to hear it. “No… you wouldn’t do that. You said… you said you wouldn’t do that!” Eddie started to get louder, more frantic. 

Richie began to panic. He stood up quickly and began trying to explain himself. Explain why he would ever do something so fucked up. 

“I was done with It. James said I was done but Luke needed something and all I had was that weed. Richie tried to meet Eddie’s eyes but he refused - looking at the ground. “I didn’t know it was laced Eddie. I didn’t mean to hurt him.” He was a mess. Practically begging Eddie to hear him. To understand.

Eddie stayed quiet, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. 

“Eddie... please.” Richie let out as he moved towards him. 

Eddie immediately stepped back and pushed Richie away.

“No…” Richie whispered. “No Eddie please don’t do that.” 

Richie had never seen that look before in Eddie. Sure he’d seen him mad plenty of times before but this was different. He was looking at Richie like he was a stranger. Betrayed and disgusted. 

Richie could feel his heart being crushed by that look. It said everything Richie feared. 

He doesn’t love you anymore. You did it this time. 

“Don’t come near me.” Eddie strained out with a stern finger pointed at Richie. Tears still falling. 

Richie couldn’t help but try to reach out for him anyways. He wanted to feel the safety of Eddie’s embrace. He wanted him to tell him it would be okay.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Eddie cried as he stepped back again. “I can’t believe you...” 

Eddie seemed to get angrier the more he processed this painful truth. 

Eddie suddenly lunged at Richie, using all his strength to push him up against the truck. “You fucking liar!” 

Eddie sniffed for a moment more. Not meeting Richie's eyes. When he finally looked up his eyes were dark and angry. unrecognizable to Richie.

“I hate you.” Eddie said, lip quivering. 

Those three words seemed to cut through Richie. Was this what dying felt like? It must be. Richie couldn't imagine a pain worse. 

Richie collapsed. calling after Eddie as he walked off until he was just talking to himself.

"Eddie... Eddie please. I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this shit is depressing af. But don't worry this is not the end for these two! The next chapter is going to be a bit of a time jump and i'm super excited about this next part of their story and where its going and I hope you guys like it too! :) <3


	25. Cruel Sense of Humor

“Eddie, are you okay?” Adam’s voice came from outside the door.

Eddie weakly picked his head up from his desk and wiped the bit of drool on the side of his mouth. He rubbed his eyes and squinted groggily at the blurry figure of his roommate in the doorway, trying to come back from his thick, unwilling sleep. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lied. 

The truth was, he wasn’t fine at all. His junior year of college was coming to an end and he still had so much to do. On top of that he was working six days a week at the bakery and was still barely able to afford rent. He was stressed out to say the least and he never had a moment to just breath. 

Just one more year.

Adam laughed, walking over to him and peeling a sticky note off his forehead. “Really? Because you don’t look fine. You really need to take a break.” 

“Tell me about it.” Eddie groaned. “I must have fallen asleep while studying.” He glanced at his watch. “Shit... it’s almost five already?! Fuck. Charles is going to be here in an hour!” 

Adam rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, you wouldn't want to be late for Mr. perfect.” 

“Adam, C'mon.” Eddie pleaded as he quickly made his way over to his closet and picked through the bit of clean clothes he had left. 

“No Eddie, YOU come on! The guy is BORING.”

Eddie just shook his head. He didn’t have time for this right now. He'd heard it a million times before. Adam never liked Charles, from the minute he and Eddie started dating he took every opportunity to tell Eddie that Charles was nothing more than a "boring brick wall of a man." As he so delicately put it. Eddie didn't really trust Adam's judgement though, with his many flings with guys not even grazing the surface of perfect. They were usually closeted scum bags who just used Adam for sex or they were junkies and drop outs. Eddie would take a brick wall over that any day.

“Boring is perfect. I can’t handle anything else... especially right now.” Eddie sighed, looking over at the thick stack of school work on his desk. 

He felt himself start to doze off as he thought about the many projects he had yet to start. He let out some air, trying to relieve some of the pressure he felt. 

“Eddie?” 

Eddie looked back at Adam who was looking very concerned at him. 

He quickly shook his head. “I’m fine.” Eddie assured him as he folded his clothes over his arm. “I’ll worry about it later, but right now I need to go shower before Charles gets here.” 

Adam smiled at him half heartedly. “Alright." 

Eddie started to walk past him to the bathroom when Adam grabbed his arm. "Oh I forgot to tell you, I found us a fourth roommate!" 

Eddie squinted at him suspiciously. "Did Stan approve them?"

Adam just rolled his eyes. "No, but we need someone fast and this guy is able to move in on Sunday and pay us six months up front." 

Eddie sighed. He didn't usually trust Adam with these types of things but they really did need someone to fill that spot quickly if they wanted to stay there.

"Fine." Eddie agreed. "But if he murders us in our sleep i'm going to kill you." He said before shutting the bathroom door. He could hear Adam laugh at that and whispser "Noted." before walking back into his own bedroom. 

Eddie was grateful to have Adam. When he had first moved to New York he never expected to make any new friends. He thought he would just keep his head down and get through school without any distractions. He had Stan and that’s all he needed. 

When Stan decided to come to New York with Eddie, it was definitely a surprise, but a welcome one. Eddie was grateful to have at least one of the losers with him to help him navigate this new life in the city. He appreciated Stan's no bullshit attitude about stuff and the fact that he didn’t mention certain things that Eddie would rather leave in the past. It was Just him and Stan for a while. 

That all changed pretty quickly after being roomed with Adam his freshman year. 

Adam was the first openly gay person Eddie had ever met and it was like meeting some kind of celebrity. Eddie was instantly captivated with Adam's confidence and overall expressiveness. He was the type of boy to dress in women's clothing and wear makeup. Adam stood out… Even in New York.

It didn’t take long for Eddie to consider Adam one of his best friends and he eventually opened up to him about his own sexuality. 

Adam was kind and understanding. He spent countless nights talking to Eddie, comforting him and building him up. With his encouragement, Eddie finally decided to come out... not to his mother but at least out in New York. 

It was so liberating and much less scary than Eddie would have thought. 

Stan quickly took to Adam too and the three of them became inseparable. It was something Eddie desperately needed. A support system... especially since everything in Derry. That first year away had been hard. 

A few years later and here they were, the three musketeers living in a little four bedroom house together and just trying to get through. 

After Eddie got out of the shower he pulled on his light blue jeans and a red polo shirt. 

He checked himself over in the mirror, trying to fix his damp hair as it laid lifeless on his forehead. 

He poked at the noticeable dark bags under his eyes, and cursed himself for not trying to sleep a little better the night before. 

Eddie always felt he had to look more put together for Charles. He was a bit older and had already graduated and was working as a risk analyst. Which is what Eddie was hoping to do too after school. He hoped that the relationship would open some doors for him career wise. 

It wasn’t that Eddie was intimidated, but he felt like he had to put on this front around Charles. Like he couldn’t let him see the cracks in his foundation. The fact that he wasn’t actually this mature beyond years, put together student. But that deep down, he was just a high strung, hypochondriac with mommy issues. 

Charles came from a stable home and had little idea of the horrors Eddie had already been exposed to in life. He’d never understand. 

But even still, Eddie liked Charles. He liked him for all those reasons. He made him feel like he had some control over his life. Like he could pretend that he really was that put together. That he could have that simple, safe life. 

The longer he looked at himself in the mirror the more sick he felt. He needed to fix that mess looking back at him and quick. 

He opened one of Adam's drawers and started rummaging through his makeup. 

There must be something in there that could help. Eddie didn't know anything about makeup but how hard could it really be?

He grabbed something that looked almost skin color and began smearing the gooey substance under his eyes, trying to blend it with his fingers. 

He looked up to find something even worse than what he'd started with. He had put too much of it on and had to blend it all the way down to his cheeks. You couldn’t really see the dark bags but now he was orange. He groaned loudly and smacked a hand on his head, frustrated. Maybe makeup was harder than he thought. 

“Hey, someone’s looking nice.” 

Eddie jumped at Stan's voice outside the door. “Stan don’t do that! You almost gave me an asthma attack!” Eddie breathed as he leaned over and clenched his chest. 

He was more embarrassed than scared. Embarrassed that he’d been caught in Adam’s make up.

Stan just looked him up and down. “You going out with Charles tonight?” He asked. 

Eddie nodded, looking back at his pitiful reflection.“Yeah. And I’m trying to make it look like I’ve actually slept some in the last week.” 

Stan laughed at that and walked over to Eddie, swiping a finger under his eye. "I can see that." 

Eddie pushed him away a bit. "Stop! I know I don't know what I'm doing!" 

"Charles doesn't care Eddie. He remembers what it was like to be a student." 

Eddie started to wash the makeup off his face in defeat. He guessed it was better to look tired than look like a clown. "Yeah, but he was like a perfect student. he never had to try as hard as me."

Stan frowned at him. "You guys have been together for a long time..." It seemed like he was trying to say something else without actually saying it. Unlike Adam, Stan never really voiced his opinion of Charles. Eddie suspected Stan probably thought Charles was good for him... stable. Stan, out of anyone knew how much Eddie really needed that. 

Eddie continued to scrub his face clean. "Yeah. Two years today." Even as he was saying it, Eddie couldn't believe it had been that long already.

"Wow." 

Eddie reached for a towel and patted his face dry. "Yeah." 

He stared at his face in the mirror. He looked much older now than he had a few years ago. Frown lines were starting to appear along with scowl lines in between his eyebrows. He probably should be eating more. His once full cheeks were hallowed out now and his face was gaunt and long. College was supposed to be fun, but Eddie felt more high strung than ever and it showed. 

If he looked hard enough at himself he could sometimes still see that boy he used to be and it would take him back to Derry. The times when he was confused and scared and blissfully happy all at once. 

Sometimes he'd catch himself missing it. Home. 

It confused him because he'd never been sentimental, especially about Derry. 

He just missed the losers... maybe he even missed his mother. That’s what he would tell himself over and over when he got like this. But what he failed to admit to himself was in the vault of his memories he knew what it really was... who it really was that was missing. 

"Well, I think you look great Eddie." Stan said with a hand on his shoulder. "Have fun tonight and don't stress so much." He began to walk out, but not before wishing him a happy anniversary. 

Charles showed up promptly at 6:00 pm the dot, as usual. He brought a bouquet of Roses for Eddie which he quickly put in water before they left. 

It was no surprise that Charles took them to a nice restaurant. A classic date with dim lighting and expensive foods that Eddie couldn't even pronounce. He usually just had Charles order for them both. He trusted Charles knew all of his food restrictions enough at this point that he could choose accordingly. 

They had a nice time as always, talking about school and work and the general things they usually talked about. 

"How are Adam and Stan?" Charles asked. 

"They're good." Eddie smiled. "But they can make it hard to study sometimes... especially Adam. Hes always got someone in his bedroom with him and they're never... quiet." He shivered as he thought about the many inappropriate and scaring noises he’d been exposed too. 

"yeah, I could see that." Charles laughed, his deep laugh. “So what do you think about us moving in together?” He let out with a perfectly white smile, framed by olive tan skin and a dark 5 o’clock shadow. "After you graduate next year of course." 

Eddie almost spit out his water. He never expected this from Charles. They had been dating for a while now but Charles seemed like the wait at least eight years type... not two. 

“Really?” Eddie asked in shock. He wasn’t sure whether or not he was happy; he tried to keep a smile as to not offend Charles while he was deciding how he felt about it. “So soon?”

Charles' smile faded a bit. “Eddie, we’ve been together for two years. I would have thought you’d be ready to take it further now.” He said authoritatively. Like some kind of disappointed father. 

“Of Course I am!” Eddie assured him. “I’m just surprised.” 

Charles still wasn't convinced, and why would he be? He wasn't dumb and Eddie was almost jumping right out of his chair from nerves.

“Its okay." Charles sighed. "Ill give you some time to think it over, but I think this could be really good for us." He paused for a moment and reached his hand over to place on top of Eddie's. "I love you." 

Eddie continued to force a smile. Trying to hide the confusing panic he felt. "I love you too." 

I love you? 

Eddie wanted to be happy. He should be happy... right? 

Moving in together for gay people was pretty much a proposal and Charles was great. Someone Eddie could really see a stable future with. He’s kind and successful... everything Eddie could ever want. 

So why did he feel so empty?

He closed the door to his house behind him after Charles dropped him off and leaned his back up against it as it shut. 

“Fuck.” Eddie whispered to himself as he tilted his head back, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a breath. 

He needed a fucking drink. 

“Eddie!” A voice suddenly shouted from the kitchen. “Is that you?” 

Eddie opened his eyes to see Adam coming from around the corner. 

“Oh good!” He let out when he saw it was indeed Eddie. “The guy I told you about is here. The one who's renting the fourth bedroom.” 

Eddie looked up at the clock. “He’s here right now? It’s nine o clock.” Eddie wrinkled his nose. “You aren’t already hooking up with him before he’s even moved in, are you?” 

“No.” Adam laughed. “Not yet at least.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. Great. The last thing he wanted was to bring some kind of man candy into the house just for Adam’s entertainment. He was never going to get anything done now. But this is how it had to be. He loved living there with Stan and Adam and he wasn’t giving that up... No matter how awful it may be to have Adam and the nameless, faceless boy parading around the house. Potentially fucking in every room.

“He was in the neighborhood and wanted to go over a couple things before he moves in Sunday.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Ugh. Okay. Just don’t let me catch you two doing it on the kitchen table or something. Some of us eat there.”

“Oh Eddie don’t be jealous. We can share him.” Adam poked at him. 

Eddie scoffed. “No thanks. I’m with Charles, remember?” Eddie said as he began taking off his coat and shoes. 

adam shrugged. "I had half hoped you'd come to your senses and dumped his ass." He smirked. "Your face doesn't scream amazing romantic anniversary to me." 

"Well talk about it later." Eddie huffed out. He wasn't ready to talk about Charles wanting to move in together. He wasn't even sure how he felt about it yet. 

“Whatever. He's not really your type anyways.” Adam let out as he started back towards the kitchen. “Come say hi.” 

Eddie groaned a bit. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to meet anyone right now. He was tired and was kind of in the midst of having a life crisis. But he knew Adam wouldn’t let him just sneak off to his bedroom without a simple hello first. 

He could do that he supposed.

“Ugh. Fine.” Eddie huffed out. He followed behind Adam into the kitchen lazily. He was completely indifferent to meeting this person, barley making the effort to lift his head.

"Hey, I'm Eddie. Its nice to..." 

"HOLY SHIT." 

that voice. 

Eddie's tired head suddenly sprung to life, snapping up to meet a pair of familiar chocolate brown eyes. sickeningly, comfortingly familiar. 

Eddie froze there for a minute, unwilling to look away from those eyes, worried that if he strayed he would find other familiar things. 

This couldn't really be happening. The universe couldn't possibly have that cruel a sense of humor. 

The dark eyes recognized him too. Looking nervous and out of sorts as well. 

Eddie finally dared to move his eyes down, drifting along the strangers long arms and down to his legs. 

He stayed there for a moment, focusing on the sun kissed skin covered by a thick mess of dark leg hair. He could hear muffled voices in the background, but the world around him was so distant now.

Maybe it wasn’t really him. Eddie was probably just tired. He was shaking anxiously and could feel the sweat pooling in his palms. He felt like he was going to be sick but he had to do this... to know for sure. He finally found the courage to look up, focusing in on the strangers face. 

All at once all the air seemed to be sucked out of the room and Eddie couldn’t breath. He found himself searching his body for an inhaler he hadn’t used or needed in years. Collecting dust up in his sock drawer since moving to New York.

It’s him. 

It’s really him. 

There, standing in Eddie’s kitchen was someone he never thought he would see again. Richie Tozier.

Eddie reached up to grab at his reeling head, trying to steady himself. Then suddenly his world went dark.


	26. Cool as a Cucumber

“Eddie? Come on, wake up!” 

Through the thick darkness behind his eyes, Eddie started to hear the distant sound of Stan’s voice, pulling him back to reality. 

“What happened?” He heard him ask. 

“I don’t know. I introduced him to the new guy and he just passed out!” Adam’s voice echoed back. 

Eddie suddenly felt the warmth of a hand on his face and he began to stir, coming back more and more. When he finally opened his eyes he winced as the bright lights hit him. His eyes focused and he saw Adam and Stan above him, staring down at him with concern. 

“Oh my god! Eddie! Are you okay?!” Adam let out, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder as he started to sit up. 

Eddie didn’t answer and instead grabbed his throbbing head and groaned at the pain. 

“You fell pretty hard Eddie.” Stan told him in his parental voice. “Are you feeling alright? Should we take you to a doctor?” 

Eddie still didn’t answer. He needed a minute. He felt a bit at his surroundings and found that he was on the couch now. They must have moved him from the kitchen where he fell. Where he saw... 

“Fuck.” Eddie suddenly let out when he’d remembered what happened. Kind dark eyes and raven curls flashed behind his eyes, hitting him in the gut. Without thinking he flew off the couch, pushing past his confused friends. 

He ran into the kitchen, frantically looking around under the table and in the cupboard as if somehow he must still be there. Hiding, as if this were all some practical joke. 

Stan and Adam both followed him into the kitchen, watching Eddie race around like some kind of madman. 

“Eddie, what the hell is going on?” Stan asked. 

Eddie turned towards them, halting his search. “Where is he?” He asked plainly. 

Stan and Adam gave each other a strange look, one that made Eddie feel even more unhinged. 

“Who? Our new roommate?” Adam asked. “He left when you passed out... kind of in a hurry actually.” Adam thought for a moment about the strange interaction but shrugged it off. “He said you probably would want some space.” 

Eddie stared at them for a moment when all of a sudden he started to chuckle darkly. “Space?! He thought I would need space?!” He repeated, not quite believing any of this. 

Stan frowned at him. “Eddie, seriously. What’s going on?!” He asked sternly, tired of this charade.

Eddie sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back into the wall for support. He didn’t want to say it out loud. If he did it made it real. If he did than he really did just see...

“Richie.” Eddie whispered. The name felt strange on his tongue, not foreign but no longer familiar. It felt out of place here in his new life and yet it was filling up the gaps he didn’t know it had. 

Eddie carefully looked up to see Stans eyes now wide and worried, a million thoughts racing behind them. They both stared at each other for a moment, feeling their world shift. 

Adam just looked back and forth between them, waiting for someone to explain. “What?! What’s going on?!” He finally asked when he couldn’t wait any longer. “Do you guys know him or something?” 

Stan just shook his head, still speechless. 

“He’s the one from Derry… the boy…” Eddie sighed. 

Adam thought for a second and then gasped. “No way… the drug dealer?!” 

“Yes.” Eddie let out quickly. “Well used to be… I don’t know if he is now.” 

That thought made Eddie wonder what Richie’s life had looked like without him for the last few years. Had he stopped dealing? Was he successful? Was he happy? Eddie quickly stopped before that rabbit hole became any deeper. 

“So, what should we do?” Adam asked carefully.

The question hit Eddie in the chest. What should they do? It sat heavy in the air. Sure, they could easily just tell Richie to get lost and Eddie would never have to see him again. Goodbye problems... goodbye Richie… again. 

“Should we tell him he can’t live here?” 

“Yes.” Stan let out easily and at the very same moment Eddie let out a quick “No.”

They snapped their heads up to look at eachother, simultaneously trying to understand the others' response. 

“I mean...” Eddie started. He wasn’t sure why he was so quick to refuse Adam’s willingness to just tell Richie to fuck off, but something inside him wasn’t ready to let go of this strange twist of fate. 

He could tell by the way Stan was glaring at him that this would be war. “What?” Stan asked, judgment blatantly hanging there in his voice. “Why would we let him live here?” 

“Well...” 

“That’s crazy Eddie.” Stan cut him off, obviously already fed up.

Eddie sighed, trying to find his calm. He could usually get Stan to see reason. “Listen Stan, I know how crazy it sounds but we are all adults now. It’s been a long time since...” Eddie paused, too many memories to flooding back at once. “Since Derry. We should try to move past it. We need the help...” 

Stan turned away from them, gripping at the ledge of the counter. “No.” He breathed jaggedly. “Just... No.” 

“Stan, C’mon. It’s not that big of a deal and he needs-“ 

Stan suddenly whipped around, cutting Eddie off before he could go any further. “HE needs?!” He let out hysterically. 

Eddie jumped back in surprise when Stan started to yell. 

“Stan…”

“HE is the reason you cried every night for months! I had to practically carry you out of the dorms and force you to go to your classes! Or did you forget?!” 

“I... I...” Eddie was a little lost for words. He didn’t expect Stan to act like this. Sure, Richie and Stan didn’t talk much after the break up, but Eddie never thought Stan hated him. 

Stan shook his head, greeting his forehead harshly with the palm of his hand. “Jesus, Eddie I swear whenever he’s around you just get... so... stupid!” 

As soon as he’d said it it was obvious Stan regretted it. 

He watched as Eddie stepped back. Looking down at the ground. Eddie knew Stan was right. Even if it was harsh. He was acting kind of impulsively. This was a bad idea... but he just had to see it through. There was a morbid curiosity bubbling inside him. Who was Richie Tozier now? 

Stan sighed. “Look, I’m sorry Eddie. I just... I don’t trust him, and I don’t ever want to see you like that again.” 

Eddie smiled a bit. When he thought about it, it really wasn’t surprising why Stan felt so strongly about this. He was the one who had stood by Eddie’s side night after sleepless night as he cried over Richie. He picked up all of Eddie’s pieces after the break up and it was probably more than Eddie should have expected of him… but he did it. Over and over again until Eddie was okay.

“I guess it’s your call Eddie... whatever you want.” Stan sighed. He wasn’t happy about it but he knew he couldn’t just put his foot down on the matter. It was bigger than that. 

Eddie nodded. “I think we need to have a meeting. Something like a business proposal.” He wanted to be mature about this. “Just to clear the air and talk about boundaries.” 

Stan laughed at that. “Boundaries?! Have you forgotten who you are dealing with?! Richie doesn’t have boundaries... he doesn’t even have that word in his small yet, very colorful vocabulary.”

Eddie glared at him. “Okay, that’s not helpful. You’re going to have to be civil at least if he lives here.” 

“Me?!” Stan let out. “What about you?!” 

Eddie furrowed his brow and pointed at himself as if he couldn’t believe what Stan was insinuating. 

“If I’m remembering correctly you were the one chasing him around Bill’s house with a shovel threatening to... what was it again?” Stan smirked. “Oh yes, shove it up his ass.” 

“Kinky.” Adam giggled. 

Eddie glared at his unhelpful roommate and then back at Stan who looked way too victorious. “Okay, that was like 10 years ago. I’ve matured since then... he’s matured since then... maybe.” Eddie found himself wondering if Richie had changed a lot... would he still be him? “Either way I’m sure we can all get along fine.” 

“I’m sure we can.” Adam said seductively. It was more for himself but Eddie heard it.

“Classy.” Stan groaned.

“Oh, Eddie... I’m sorry. Fuck. I know he’s your ex so he’s off limits. It was a just a joke.” Adam laughed nervously. 

Eddie shook his head and forced a smile. “No Adam it’s fine. We are all adults here. If he wants to...” Eddie paused for a moment, deciding to change his wording. “If you guys want to get involved that's up to you guys.” 

Stan glanced at Eddie with a warning look on his face. One that said he felt a storm coming. 

Eddie appreciated Stan’s silent concern but he could handle this. He was with Charles. He was happy. Why should he stand in the way of Adam’s happiness over some dumb high school relationship. 

“Really?” Adam let out, in shock. “You wouldn’t be totally buggin?” 

Eddie smiled. “No way. He’s yours.” And as he said those last two words he didn’t know why he felt a rock drop in his stomach and left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Stan continued to ask Eddie if he was sure while Adam called Richie from the kitchen. 

“Stan I’m fine.” Eddie assured him, but on the inside he knew he wasn’t fine. In fact, He was kind of freaking out. What the hell was he doing? This was so not part of his carefully thought out plans for senior year. He was going way off course... and for what, he didn’t know. 

They were all a bit surprised when Richie picked up so quickly. Eddie had wondered if he would pick up at all. He listened in as much as he could as Adam explained the situation, telling him that everyone was in agreeance that Richie could stay there on the condition that he come over beforehand and talk.

Richie agreed.

SHIT. Alright, this was really happening. 

Eddie spent the whole morning meticulously writing out all the house rules that Adam and Stan had left up to him. Mapping out the exact ways he was going to make living with Richie tolerable. Once he was finally happy with his list he got himself ready. (which took him way too long for just a casual roommate meeting if he’s honest.) when he was finally satisfied with his look after having a few break downs and wanting to burn every top he owned, he sat on the couch and waited. He rested his palm on the top of his thigh, trying to ease the nervous bouncing of his leg. 

He sat for a few minutes just listening to the torturous tick of the clock before Stan casually walked through the living room towards the kitchen and spotted Eddie. “Whatcha doin?” He asked in his Stan I know everything already voice. 

Eddie smiled as casually as he could, even though his heart sped up with every minute that passed by. 

“He’s going to be here soon...” 

Stan raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and we will hear him knock from our rooms.” He said plainly before walking back to his bedroom. 

Eddie watched him go, silently cursing him for basically calling him out for being nervous. He didn’t want to be. Fuck. Why was this so fucking scary?! All that shit between them happened years ago. It was ancient history... it was... 

*Knock knock.*

FUCK.

Eddie jumped from the couch. His skin was on fire and his heart was beating a mile a minute. He needed to get himself together and fast. He could do this. 

Deep breaths. 

It seemed like an eternity for Adam and Stan to come out and there was no way Eddie could just open the door himself. He was sure the world would completely combust if he were to do that. 

“Coming!” Adam sing-songed as he trotted to the door, Stan following behind looking much less enthused. 

Eddie couldn’t help but notice what Adam was wearing… or rather, not wearing. He had on some obscenely short jean shorts that hung low on his feminin hips, paired with a cropped baby pink tank top that exposed his toned stomach and belly button ring. 

It was obvious who Adam was dressing for and Eddie suddenly felt insecure and overdressed. Adam’s outfits did usually impress… or offend depending on who the audience was. But if it was someone he was interested in, it was pretty safe to say Adam’s outfits were a hit. Even some stone cold closet cases couldn’t resist. 

Eddie was used to Adam’s over the top-ness as this point so he couldn’t understand why he felt so annoyed.

Everything seemed to slow down as Eddie watched Adam carelessly go to open the door, as if it weren’t the most insane, life altering thing to do. 

Everything in Eddie’s life seemed to come down to this moment... Just the simple turn of a handle. 

Eddie felt Stan’s hand on his back and he knew it must be obvious how nervous he was. But Ofcourse it was… he was sweating buckets and was shaking so much he was practically vibrating. 

Just like that the door was open and Adam smiled brightly at the person on the other side of it. 

“Oh, hi.”

A tall, lenky frame stepped through the door, coming fully into view. He wore a pair of light wash jeans that were ripped at the knees and a plain white T-shirt. His unruly, raven curls were long enough to touch his shoulders. 

Eddie focused on him. Taking in the little details that he hadn’t gotten to before. He felt like he was having some kind of out of body experience. He had seen this person so many times before and he looked the same, yet so much different all at once. Little things to suggest that the last couple years had happened and Eddie hadn’t been there. 

Eddie watched as Richie looked around, eyes focusing on nothing in particular. Just floating lazily around the room until they found Eddie. 

Eddie blushed and immediately looked away. He wasn’t ready for what Richie’s attention might do to him. 

That attention didn’t last long though. 

“Woah! Stan Urine!!!” Richie suddenly shouted. “You grew a beard?!” 

Eddie blinked a little. Did Richie really just ignore him for Stan’s facial hair?

Richie walked up to Stan with no hesitation as if it hadn’t been years since they’d last seen each other. 

“Looks good on you man. I always pictured you with a beard… I just thought you’d be married to it!” Richie laughed. 

Stan rolled his eyes. “Hello Richie.”

Eddie coughed a bit, trying to get on with this horribly awkward reunion. Its probably really hard for- 

“Eddie spaghetti!” Richie turned towards him and wasted no time walking up and patting him on the head, ruffling his hair as if he were just his little cousin. Somehow the brotherly gesture seemed to go straight to Eddie’s pants though. 

What the fuck? Was Richie just OKAY with this?!

Adam covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing but it didn’t really work. “Oh my god!” He barked out.

“Shut it.” Eddie warned. 

“Oh c'mon Eds, I know you missed my nicknames!” 

Eddie reached up and removed Richie’s hand from the top of his head and quickly fixed his hair. “No I definitely didn’t.” 

Richie laughed a deep laugh. It seemed to move through Eddie’s entire being. Richie’s laugh. The familiar sound found its way into Eddie’s chest, warming him up. 

“Alright. So where should we do this?” Richie asked. 

“What?” Eddie blinked. 

“You guys said you had some rules you wanted to go over? If I… if you guys let me stay here.” 

Stan nudged Eddie a little when he still wasn’t responding. 

Eddie let his hand move to his front pocket where the list of his guidelines were neatly folded, most of which were just ways to keep Richie at a distance. The paper seemed to weigh heavy in his pocket now and he couldn’t find it in himself to set those boundaries. The ones he thought he so desperately needed from the curly haired boy who broke his heart all those years ago, but looking at him now... he wasn’t so sure.

“Eddie?” Stan questioned again when he still didn’t respond. 

Eddie shook his head when he noticed Richie was staring at him. A familiar concerned look in his eyes that made Eddie blush. 

“Oh um… we… we don’t have to do that all right now.” Eddie decided suddenly. “We can figure that out as we go.” 

Richie smiled at him. “Wow Ed’s, you’re much more relaxed than I remember.”

Eddie smiled back, internally screaming at himself. “Yup. That’s me… cool as a cucumber.”


	27. Descend into Madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiiii there... this chapter is short but I’ll be posting another one VERY soon because it was originally one chapter but I cut it in half. Anyways, enjoy! ❤️

As it turns out, living with Richie is exactly as excruciating as Eddie thought it would be, but for a reason he hadn’t expected.

He had imagined that they would go back to how they were before they dated... friends. Eddie was sure that Richie would go back to spending his every waking moment pestering Eddie and getting in his space just like he had when they were kids, telling his inappropriate jokes until Eddie was red in the face and yelling at him to fuck off. It was a game of cat and mouse that Eddie had come to expect when Richie was around and he was preparing himself for just that... Three years worth of yelling at Richie who he was sure was planning on making up for lost time... but... no. 

Nothing like that happened. In fact, after he moved in, Richie didn’t talk to Eddie all that much. Only in passing and it was always friendly, but brief. 

Eddie thought maybe he was just getting used to the house... settling in. He’d come around. Any minute he was going to come out of his room and pinch Eddie’s cheeks like he always did and call him cute. 

Everyday that passed that Richie barley said a word to Eddie was another day he thought he may snap. 

Eddie couldn’t figure it out. Why was he so on edge about this? He should be happy. Right? This is what he wanted. For his life to stay the same. For Richie not to mess up what he had going. But... the silence was driving him crazy. It was like living with a ghost from his past. He felt haunted. 

Eddie started to notice that Richie wasn’t even awake most days and slept in until the late afternoon. When he did finally wake up he would leave and wouldn’t come back until the very early hours of the morning. 

This only furthered Eddie’s descend into madness because what the hell was he doing every night at that hour?! And for that long?!

And it wasn’t like Eddie could really ask without it seeming like he was checking up on him.

He tried to get Stan to ask him where he was going but Stan only smirked and asked in a knowing tone. “Why can’t you ask him?” 

YOUFUCKINGKNOWWHYSTANLEY!

Eddie thought about following him a couple times... maybe he... no. Eddie couldn’t do that. That was crazy. This whole thing was crazy. Maybe living with Richie was a bad idea. Maybe it was throwing Eddie off and bringing up some repressed memories or something... Yeah. That must be why he was acting like this... it was that darn childhood trauma again. 

Whatever it was, it was really fucking with his sleep. 

Every night Eddie tossed and turned until the early hours of the morning when he heard the front door open, followed by the sound of Richie’s chucks walking across the creaky wood floor. 

Something about knowing he was back made Eddie feel calmer. Sometimes he would leave his bedroom door cracked a bit, Just enough so that he could see Richie’s room across the hall.   
It was probably a violation of privacy or something. (It definitely was.) but Eddie couldn’t help but stare. No matter how many times he’d seen him, his brain just couldn’t seem to accept that it was really him... it was Richie.

Eddie decided it had to stop. This was all happening because Richie was ignoring him. He just needed to get Richie to talk to him. Somehow. They just needed to break the ice and then Richie could stop tiptoeing around him and Eddie could get back to not obsessing over his ex boyfriend. 

Eddie embarrassingly enough had Richie’s schedule down to a science and he knew he’d be waking up for a shower at 4:00pm. It wasn’t that he meant to borderline stalk Richie, he was just very in tune to everything that Richie did and... okay, that doesn’t sound any better.

Eddie paced around his room, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. 

As soon as he heard Richie’s door creak open, Eddie pushed on his own door and came face to face with a sleepy looking Richie.

“Oh, hey Eds...” He mumbled as he rubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses. 

Eddie groaned at the nickname but blushed a little, realizing he hadn’t come up with anything to say before hand. 

“Hi.” He said stiffly. 

They stared at eachother awkwardly before both starting to walk down the hall at the same time, causing their sides to collide. 

“Um... excuse me.” Eddie snarled. 

Richie laughed. “I’ve gots to be showerin there Eds me boy.” He said in a much less shitty version of the Scottish accent he did when they were kids.

“So do I.” Eddie said suddenly, not entirely sure why or where he was going with it. 

Richie looked at him in surprise. “Really? I shower everyday at this time.” 

Eddie hummed at that. “Well I stepped in some dog shit on the way home from work and now I feel gross.” 

It was an okay excuse. Richie knew him well enough to know that wasn’t an unrealistic reason for him. 

Richie raised an eyebrow at him and then looked down at his watch. “Alright.” He sighed. “I guess I just won’t shower tonight.” 

Eddie scrunched up his nose at that. “So, you’re just going to go wherever the hell you go... looking like that?” He said as he gestured towards Richie’s bedhead. 

Richie smirked and reached up to fluff his wild curls. “What? I think it makes me look rugged.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “It makes you look homeless.” 

This was it. Eddie saw that glimmer in Richie’s eyes and he was ready to face the wrath of the trashmouth... excited even. 

Eddie’s eyes challenged Richie to make the next move. 

“Yeah... well I guess the people will just have to deal with it. Who knows, maybe I’ll score a few extra bucks if I carry a cup around with me.” Richie laughed. 

He smiled one last time at Eddie before walking back into his room to get ready. 

That... that was it? 

Eddie was left standing in the hall... thinking way too hard about every detail of that conversation and was forced to take a shower he didn’t really need. 

Maybe this was the new normal between them... maybe Richie didn’t want to be like how they were. Maybe he wasn’t over what happened.

The more Eddie thought about it the more those unpleasant memories came racing back to him. 

He slept even worse than normal that night as the memories came flooding back to him... Richie begging Eddie to talk to him. Crying. Pleading for him to listen. 

Back then Eddie didn’t care. He ignored him. He blocked out Richie’s pain and focused only on how he’d been hurt.

Eddie felt an enourmous guilt hit him in the chest as the memories of Richie’s cries consumed him. 

“Please Eddie! Please listen! I can’t lose you!” 

But Eddie put up a wall. One that Richie couldn’t break through and after awhile he finally gave up. 

Maybe Eddie couldn’t blame him for not wanting much to do with him now. 

Ofcourse he wouldn’t just go back to being Eddie’s friend? How could he expect that? Richie was nice to him... but they weren’t the same anymore. He was naive to think they would be. 

Eddie thought it would be painful to have Richie around, constantly making jokes about their past together and making things weird like he always did... but he was wrong. This was more painful. Richie shutting him out. 

Pretending that none of it ever happened.


	28. Feeling Something

“So, how’ve you been?” Stan asked knowingly from the table as Eddie walked into the kitchen. It was obvious from the bags under his eyes that he Eddie was far from alright. 

“Stan please.” Eddie groaned as he brewed his coffee. “I’m good. Stop checking up on me all the time.” 

Stan cocked an eyebrow at him, flipping lazily through the newspaper. “So, it really doesn’t bother you that the guy who betrayed you and broke your heart lives right across the hall from you?”

Eddie shook his head. Frustrated that he had to keep answering this. Of course it bothered him, but he’ll be damned if he let Stan know that. “Everything is Fine Stan.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

All of a sudden Richie’s bedroom door creaked loudly from down the hall and they both turned towards the sound. Eddie tensed. He couldn’t help it. Even though by now he should be used to the fact that he’d be he seeing Richie on occasion, it still felt surprising. Like he was never really prepared for it.

Stan looked over at Eddie, who was clearly on edge and raised an eyebrow at him. 

Eddie immediately told him to fuck off with his eyes. 

Richie walked groggily into the kitchen, stumbling a bit and wiping the thick sleep from his eyes. It was clear he had a long night and the question that had been troubling Eddie came racing back. What are you hiding Richie Tozier? 

Eddie’s eyes immediately traveled down to Richie’s lime green boxer shorts with bright pink popsicles on them. He couldn’t help but smirk a little at the Richieness of them. Maybe he really hadn’t changed all that much.

“Morning.” Richie let out mid yawn as he stretched his long arms up, causing his black Led Zeppelin T-shirt to ride up a bit, revealing his pale stomach and dark black happy trail.

Eddie couldn’t find the nerve to say anything. It was just too normal a thing to say. “Morning.”

The old wood floor creaked as Richie’s bare feet moved across it, making his way to the coffee maker where Eddie had already made his coffee. 

“Do you mind?” Richie asked before pouring himself some. 

Eddie just shook his head, not looking at him. God, why was it so hard to look at him?

“Thanks.” Richie said, pouring the steaming coffee into his mug. 

“Finally decided to slum it with us daytimers, huh?” Stan asked, voice not void of judgment.

Richie smiled at him, and then walked over to pinch Stan’s cheek. “Awe, want to spend some quality time with your old pal, Stanny?” Richie cooed. 

Stan immediately pushed Richie away. “Fuck off!” 

Richie laughed as he fell back a bit from Stan’s harder than necessary push. 

He steadied himself when he ran into something - or someone. 

“Oh! Richie! I’m... I’m sorry!” Adam said kind of frantically when Richie ran into him, almost spilling his coffee. 

“It’s okay.” Richie assured him. “Stan’s love can be violent.” He pouted over at Stan who just flipped him off. 

Adam smiled up at him, biting on his lower lip. “Well I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at that. Feeling a heat start to bubble inside him. He quickly reminded himself though, that he’d agreed to this. 

Richie laughed a little nervously when Adam continued to just bat his eyes up at him and he started to inch away a bit. 

“Yeah, well I better...” Richie started, pointing towards his bedroom. 

“What?!” Adam yelled a little more loudly than necessary. “Cmon, stay out here with us.” He practically whined as he grabbed a fist full of Richie’s shirt. 

“Oh I just thought...” 

But before Richie could get another word out Adam was dragging him to the table.

Richie looked over at Eddie who quickly looked back down at his coffee in hopes he hadn’t noticed him staring. 

Richie let himself be led to the table and Adam sat down right beside him. 

Eddie watched in disgust, as Adam scooted his chair a bit closer to Richie. 

“So Richie, have you been to New York before?” Adam asked casually.

Richie shrugged. “It’s been a long time and it’s usually just for work so I never have a lot of time to see the city.” He sighed. “Guess I’ll have time now since I’m living here and all.” 

“You don’t sound that excited about it. Do you not like new York?” Adam asked, observing Richie’s lack luster tone.

Richie looked up from his coffee that he’d been sipping on. “No... I mean... I just hadn’t planned on moving so abruptly.” 

“So why did you?” Eddie snarled suddenly. He felt a bit annoyed that Richie was talking about New York like it wasn’t good enough for him or something. 

He immediately regretted it though, when Richie’s eyes darted over to him and instead of being upset he smiled at Eddie. The bastard fucking smiled.

“My manager thought it would be a good idea” He shrugged. “there’s more opportunity here for what I do... New York is the hot spot right now.” 

Stan and Eddie both glanced at eachother, thinking the same exact thing... manager? 

“And what do you do?” Adam asked, leaning in a bit closer to Richie. 

“Well I...” 

“What? Where you came from just doesn’t have as many druggies? Not enough people to buy your dope?” Eddie quickly let out with a nervous laugh. He didn’t know what came over him but it seemed to just burst out of him. 

The room was suddenly silent. Eddie noticed that even Stan looked surprised by his sudden outburst. 

Richie frowned at Eddie, looking like a beaten puppy. “Actually... I do stand up.” 

Eddie just stared at him, blinking. 

“You know... comedy?” 

“I know what stand up is, dickwad!” Eddie snapped. 

The tension in the room was thick. They could all feel the uncomfortableness and Eddie couldn’t help but feel like the biggest asshole on the planet. 

Adam chuckled a little. “Wow, that’s really cool.” He said, trying to ease the tension. 

Eddie was looking away now, trying to hide his embarrassment but he could feel Richie’s eyes still on him. 

Richie turned towards Adam finally with a sigh. “Yeah... i’m not a big name yet or anything but I do okay for myself and being here is going to get me out there more... I’ve already been performing at some bigger clubs here.” 

Eddie watched as Adam put is hand on Richie’s forearm and leaned in towards him. “Well I’d love to come see you sometime.” 

Richie just smiled. “that would be great!” He turned his head between Eddie and Stan. “Id really like it if you guys came too... if you want.” 

Eddie couldn’t help but feel kind of victorious watching Adam’s disappointed face behind a clueless Richie. He never was good at knowing when people were flirting and it was no better now. 

Stan and Eddie both looked at eachother and shrugged in agreement. 

“Sure.” Eddie said, feeling more and more like a jerk for assuming that Richie was still caught up in the same things he used to be. 

“Really?” Richie let out in surprise. “Okay, well we if you guys want, I’m actually performing at the Blue Wing tonight...”

“What?!” Adam suddenly shouted, slamming his hands down on the table. “No way! That place is like crazy exclusive! I’ve been trying to get in there for months!”

Richie smirked. “Well then it’s settled. I’ll make a few phone calls and you all can come bask in the glory that is Trashmouth Tozier.” 

Eddie spent the rest of the day agonizing over what he’d said to Richie. That and what to wear to the show. 

The club was just as glamorous as Adam had been telling them all night. The place was lit by nothing but low blue lights that made for an amazing ambience. The crystals that hung from the ceiling were a bit over the top for Eddie’s taste but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little impressed. It all felt much more big time than Richie had admitted to.

The whole place was filled with nothing but high class New Yorkers and Eddie wondered how the hell Richie Trashmouth Tozier was going to be the entertainment at a place like this. 

Adam and Eddie enjoyed taking a couple shots and dancing while Stan just sat at the bar reading before the show started. 

Richie came on the stage around 11:00. The lights and music had died down and there was a single spotlight on him. 

Eddie couldn’t help but feel a little nervous... nervous for him? 

All that washed away though once Richie got going. He started by talking about his experiences growing up. Some of them Eddie was there for. It was funny, the way he told the stories... Eddie had to admit.

The people were loving it too. Even some of the more uptight looking people were laughing loudly. 

Eddie felt kind of proud, although he wasn’t really sure why. It wasn’t as if he and Richie were close anymore. But something inside him still wanted to scream from the rooftops that Richie was his... roommate? Friend? Ex lover? 

After the show ended, Eddie found himself at the bar when a familiar tall figure sat down next to him. 

“So Eds, how’d you like the show?” Richie asked. 

Eddie shifted a little, not looking at him because of course he liked the show. He even laughed a couple times, pretty hard if he was honest... Richie was funny. He always kind of was.

“I can’t believe people actually pay you for that. I got it for free my entire childhood and I would have payed millions for it to stop.”

Not true. 

Richie laughed at that. “You and the losers were just a test run for my jokes.”

“Ha...” Eddie smirked. “Test run for sure.” 

Richie just smiled at him. There was a meaningful glint in his eye that made Eddie wonder if he could feel that same thing he was feeling. Like old times 

“You were great up there tonight.” The barista suddenly said as she leaned over the bar towards Richie. She smiled with a crooked grin that was framed by what Eddie thought to be a tacky color of red lipstick. 

“Thank you.” Richie said politely. 

“Can I get you something?” She asked as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and looked Richie up and down. Practically eating him up with her eyes. 

Eddie felt himself start to become more and more annoyed. Did this lady need a sign?? Richie obviously wasn’t interested. 

“I’ll take a martini.” Eddie let out, trying to get her attention.

The barista looked at him briefly and nodded, before turning her attention right back onto Richie.

“And how about you, handsome?” 

Okay, this lady had officially pissed Eddie off... not because he was jealous or anything...no. It was just Richie’s honor he was worried about... yeah. 

“Just a water for me.” Richie said, ignoring her obvious flirting. 

The barista furrowed her brow at him, before apparently giving up as she walked away to get their drinks. 

“You’re not going to have a drink?” Eddie questioned. Of all the years he’d known Richie, he’d never known him to turn down the chance to get completely shitfaced. 

Richie suddenly looked a little uncomfortable, squirming in his chair a bit. “Nope.” 

Eddie could tell Richie wanted to leave it at that but Eddie was a curious little shit and couldn’t bring himself to just drop it. He knew it would be just another thing to naw at him if he didn’t take the opportunity to ask. 

“Why?” 

Richie sighed before the barista came back with the drinks and slid them over. Richie took a big gulp of his water before he reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small token. 

Eddie immediately recognized it as an AA token of sobriety. 

“You... you’re...” Eddie struggled to find his words, now feeling like a dick for pushing the matter.

Richie shrugged. “I’m sober... two years now.” He said as he pushed the chip back into his pocket. “They stop giving you the chips after a while but I like to keep this one with me... you know... to remind me.” 

“Rich... I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

Richie immediately shook his head. “What are you sorry for?” 

Eddie didn’t answer but he knew why he was sorry. He was sorry that he ever shut Richie out. 

Richie shrugged. “It’s okay... I was in a bad place a couple years ago and I made some stupid decisions, but I’m okay now.” 

Eddie suddenly felt a rock drop inside his gut and he couldn’t help but ask something he knew may be out of line.

“Was it because of me?” 

Richie turned to him, obviously surprised. This was the first time they had really brought up their past... that part of it anyways. 

“No...” He started, but Eddie could tell he was backtracking a bit when he started to think about it. “I don’t want you to blame yourself for any of that. It’s in the past.” 

“So that’s a yes.” Eddie sighed as he played with his drink. “I’m sorry Richie.” 

There was a silence between them. 

“Eddie it’s...” 

“No.” Eddie interrupted. “It’s not okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened before we left Derry... about us.” 

Richie just stared at Eddie as if he couldn’t believe they were really going there. Eddie could barley believe it himself. He was going to blame it on the tequila shots he had earlier. 

“I was a jerk.” Eddie said matter of factly. “We both made mistakes, but what I did... how I handled everything was wrong.” 

Eddie was hit with so much all at once as the words fell from his mouth. So much guilt and regret. He suddenly felt his eyes start to water and he tried to shake it off before Richie noticed. Unfortunately, Richie could still read him like a book... even after all these years. 

Richie reached a hand over and put it on top of Eddie’s. 

Eddie tried to ignore how that made him feel. 

“We were just kids Eds. Don’t beat yourself up.” Richie stood up from the bar stool and chugged the rest of his water and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. “Well, better be getting back out there...”

Eddie chuckled a little. “Wouldn’t want to keep all three of your fans waiting.” He joked. 

Richie dramatically leaned over, gripping his heart. “Oh! Eds gets off a good one!” He stood back up and leaned into Eddie’s space so he could hear him better through the noise as he whispered. “Don’t pretend you’re not one of them.” 

And with that Richie disappeared through the crowd and Eddie was left feeling... something


	29. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I’ve been MIA but I’m back! 😬❤️ Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Richie spent his Sunday off finally unpacking the rest of his things in his room. After a few hours he’d worked up an appetite and danced his way into the kitchen, swinging his hips back and forth to the music blaring through the speakers of his headphones. 

“Darling you’ve got to let me knowowwww… Should I stay or should I go!” He sang loudly as he rummaged through the fridge, looking for something edible he could claim for lunch. 

Unfortunately all he found was some less than appetizing looking leftovers he’d gotten a while ago. He hadn’t had much time to shop since he’d been working almost nonstop since he moved. 

He inspected the old food, picking at it a bit. Well, maybe it was still good… it’s only been in there for a few… weeks. Richie leaned his face into the styrofoam box and took a deep breath in and immediately smelt… “shit!” He shouted as he quickly pulled it away from his face. “Fuck…” 

Nope. Not even him, who had eaten bugs on a dare could eat that. 

“Richie!” A voice suddenly came from behind him, overpowering his loud music. 

Richie whipped around, startled to find Stan standing behind him. 

Richie quickly took off his headphones and sighed out. “Jesus! You scared the shit out of me Staniel!” 

Stan rolled his eyes, ignoring the nickname. “I’ve been calling your name but you couldn’t hear me. Why are you just standing in front of the fridge?” 

“Well I was hungry but it seems I haven’t got anything to my name in here besides this half eaten… well I’m not sure what it was.” 

Richie moved the styrofoam box towards Stan and he quickly stepped back, covering his nose. 

“Ew. Get that out of our house immediately. Before Eddie finds it and burns our entire fridge.” 

Richie laughed at that. “Will do.” 

There’s an awkward silence between them after that. One that says “Used to be best friends” with the “used to.” Screaming at them. 

Richie stepped aside to let Stan make the bowl of cereal he had come out for in the first place. 

Richie reached down to hold his still rumbling stomach.

If he were still home... in LA, he would have just burst through Bev’s door and told her that they were going out for food. (And she would have said yes because chances are she was hungry too because that’s just how in sink they were.)

Richie missed Bev. A lot. But surprisingly he wasn’t as homesick as he thought he would be, and it probably had something to do with the fact that he was living with his two childhood best friends. 

It felt like fate. Like he was meant to be here… to reconcile or something…

Richie played nervously with the strings on his hoodie and looked up at Stan who was pouring milk into his bland cereal. 

“Hey… Maybe…” Richie started. “Maybe you want to get some food with me?” 

Stan gave him a weird look, as if asking to go get food together was the single craziest thing Richie had ever said... And that's saying A LOT.

“I can’t today.” Stan said, barley looking at Richie as he took a spoon full into his mouth. 

Richie blinked. Not fully understanding why he was being rejected. That tasteless cereal couldn’t possibly be better than getting a burger with him. 

“Oh, alright.” Richie let out kind of pitifully, as he started to walk back towards the hall. 

He started to think back to all the times he and Stan had gone to the local Derry burger joint together as kids. How Richie would always stick fries in his nose and Stan would just shake his head like a disappointed parent. Even at ten years old. 

Richie never really knew why or when Stan decided to hate him but he must have at some point. Maybe he took a joke too far once without knowing or maybe all the years of annoying Stan had just added up until he couldn’t take it anymore. Richie wasn’t sure. Either was possible he supposed. One thing was sure, and that’s when Eddie and Richie broke up senior year, Stan never hesitated to choose a side. Eddie’s. 

Richie never expected for Stan to shut Eddie out or anything. He never wanted any of the losers to pick a side… but if they had he would’ve expected his friend of almost a lifetime to stand by him. 

Richie stopped before leaving the kitchen, his back towards Stan. 

“Hey… did I… like… do something?” 

Stan turned around in his chair at the table and stared at Richie who had turned around to face him too. 

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.” Stan said flatly. 

Richie sighed. “Just… never mind.” He sighed out before continuing down the hall towards his bedroom. It wasn’t the time to have that conversation. 

He sulked down the hall, taking his painfully empty stomach with him when he heard a symphony of angry grunting coming from Eddie’s room and noticed his door was cracked open. 

Richie stopped and peaked around to see Eddie on his bed, scribbling angrily in his notebook. 

Richie couldn’t help but smile at the quiet curses falling from Eddie’s mouth. He hadn’t changed. He was still the uptight, angry little gremlin fucker that Richie remembered.

Richie stepped closer until he was standing in Eddie’s doorway. 

He watched for a couple moments more, just watching Eddie be Eddie for a minute without the weird tension that they had had between them ever since Richie moved in. 

Eddie suddenly looked up at Richie, Letting out a startled gasp and falling backwards off the bed. 

Richie jolted forward but wasnt fast enough to stop Eddie from falling hard onto the ground. 

“Fuck! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Richie apologized as he knelt down beside him, wanting to help but cautious about touching him. “Are you okay?” 

“I'm fine, jackass.” Eddie said,as he rubbed his shoulder. “Why were you just standing there?”

Richie didn’t really know what to say to that. It’s not like he could tell him he was standing there because he liked watching him just be himself and found it adorable the way Eddie angrily talks to himself when he’s alone. 

Richie decided to just change the subject, and before he even knew what he was saying a terrible suggestion just rolled out of his mouth. 

“I was thinking… if you’re not doing anything, maybe you’d want to get something to eat… with me?” He smiled awkwardly. 

Eddie’s face went completely pink at that and he just stared at Richie. 

“As friends I mean… not that you thought… I just thought maybe you might be hungry too…” 

The longer it took for Eddie to speak the more Richie started to freak out and tried to backpedal out of the situation. 

“Ya know what… nevermind. I’m just gonna…” He said as he started to back out. 

It seemed like Eddie was just going to let him leave but then… 

“Sure.” He suddenly said, like he really had to find the courage to say that one word. 

Richie turned around slowly. “Really?”

Eddie smiled. “Yeah. I could go for some fries at Moes.”

Richie snapped his fingers and pointed at Eddie. “See! That’s why I need you! So you can show me all the hot spots.” He winked. 

Eddie shook his head. “Yeah… just please tell me you’ve grown out of the whole sticking fries up your nose thing. I have a reputation to uphold here.”

Richie gasped, mock offended. “And what reputation is that? Being a tightass? Don’t worry… I don’t think anything I could do would make people think you're actually fun.” He grinned. 

Eddie crossed his arms, clearly not amused. “Watch it. Or else I’m not going, and I don’t think you can afford to skip another meal.” He looked Richie up and down, eyebrows furrowed. “Seriously Rich… don’t you ever eat?” 

Richie tried to ignore the real concern in Eddie’s voice and how it made his chest warm. 

“Sorry that not all of us have time to go to the gym five days a week and be on a perfectly balanced diet like you.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Don’t be jealous that I’ve filled out and you’ve just gotten lenkier.” 

Richie grinned at him and walked closer, putting a hand above Eddie’s head. “Still lacking in some things though, I see.” 

Eddie quickly slapped Richie’s arm away. “I'm average height, asshole!” 

Richie just laughed at that. 

“I almost forgot how annoying you are.” Eddie said, rolling his eyes, but he couldn’t help the smile creeping up on his lips.

“Oh please. I know you missed me.” Richie said with ease. 

That statement sat heavy in the air and they both fell silent. Richie saw Eddie’s smile fade as he seemed to be contemplating something and Richie wondered if he shouldn’t have said that. Eddie probably had been fine without him. 

Eddie seemed to shake off the feeling that that statement had left. “Well, let’s get going then.” He said. 

Luckily Moe’s was only a short walk away. 

The walk there mostly consisted of Eddie talking... a lot. Mostly complaining about work . Some things Richie didn’t really need to know, but Eddie tended to talk when he was nervous to fill the silence. 

But Richie kept up just fine, making a joke out of almost everything Eddie said. Eddie had forgotten that when it was them, he never really needed to worry about awkward silence. They always just seemed to find their words when they were together, bouncing off of each other with their seemingly endless banter. 

When they finally got to Moes a young girl with long blond hair pulled back into a messy pony tail seated them. 

“Eddie… I’m guessing you want your usual?” She asked. 

“Yes, Sandy. Thank you.” Eddie said, smiling at the her. 

The girl, Sandy, turned towards Richie. “And what can I get for you, newbie?”

“Richie Tozier, sweetheart.” He said as he held out a hand. 

Sandy took his hand and put the other on her chest as if her breath had been taken away. She looked over at Eddie cheekily. 

“My roommate.” Eddie said quickly before Sandy got the wrong idea. 

After she took Richie’s LARGE order she walked away, mouthing “He’s cute.” to Eddie. Making him desperately want to scream “It’s not like that!” But he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince of that... her or himself. 

When their food came Richie started to break out 20 questions. “So, tell me about yourself, Eds.” Richie said as he took an obnoxiously large bite out of his burger. 

Eddie scrunched his nose up at Richie’s table side manners. “You already know me Richie”. 

Richie shrugged. “Yeah… but I don’t know this you.” 

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked. 

“Well you must have gotten up to some stuff while I was away.” 

Eddie wondered if Richie meant to say it like that. As if he were always meant to come back eventually.

“I’m sure you’re going to school to be something very practical.” He smiled. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah I guess. I want to be a risk analyst… since I’ve already been assessing risks for myself on a daily basis since I was like nine years old.” 

Richie nodded overly eager, as if he were very interested. “Sounds very professional, Eduardo.” 

“I know it’s nothing glamorous…” Eddie said defensively. “But I really like it. It makes me feel like I have some control over things.”

Richie’s smile faded and he worried he may have offended Eddie. He leaned over and put a hand on Eddie’s arm that was resting on the table. “Hey, I think it’s awesome. Really. It’s very you.” 

Eddie smiled bashfully, trying to pretend that Richie’s small touch and sincere stare wasn’t making his whole body feel like it was on fire. He quickly moved his arm away before he exploded. “Well it’s no job in show biz, mr big shot.” He laughed. “How’d you even get into that?” 

Richie smiled from ear to ear at Eddie’s almost compliment. “I don't really know honestly. I went to LA with Bev and tried the whole school thing but I was pretty... distracted. I did some open mic nights at some college bars and got noticed. I started booking shows and making money. So, I dropped out of school and went pro.”

“Wow. I’m surprised you even tried to go to school. You never seemed into the idea.” 

Richie took a large gulp of his soda, washing down his food. “Yeah. Aunt Molly wasn’t too happy when I told her I was dropping out.” 

The name hit Eddie like a truck, along with dozens of old memories. 

“Holy shit, I forgot about Aunt Molly! How is she?” 

“She’s great!” Richie smiled as he thought fondly of her. “shes a real pain in the ass though. Her and Bev both. They’re always checking up on me, as if I’m not a grown ass man.” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him as he watched Richie continue to eat his food messily. 

“Oh yeah. I can’t imagine why they would treat you like that.” He laughed. “So you’ve been living with Bev?” 

Eddie felt a sadness creep into his chest when he said’s name. It had been so long since they last spoke.

Richie nodded. “Yup… just me and Ringwald. It’s been good but she’s gotten meaner in her old age.” 

Eddie laughed a bit at that. He was happy Richie had someone to keep him company these last years like he had Stan. He wondered for a moment if Richie had been with anyone since them. He was sure there were probably some flings and one night stands. But had there been someone that Richie was serious about… loved? 

“You never thought about getting your own place?” Eddie asked. “You seem to make enough money.”

Eddie could see Richie be one kind of embarrassed at the question, his body language becoming a bit awkward… well… more awkward. 

“Nah. I’d rather not come home to an empty house or apartment.” 

Eddie felt his heart ache when he was hit with the memories of a younger, neglected Richie. Never getting the attention or love he so desperately wanted from his parents. 

“Is that why you wanted roommates here in New York?” 

“Yeah…” Richie said, not looking at Eddie. “Besides, I’m not a millionaire and New York is expensive.” 

Eddie decided to drop the subject seeing how uncomfortable Richie was discussing his sad reality of preferring to live with strangers rather than having to live alone. 

They talked a while more and Eddie was surprised just how continuously easy it was. He was relieved that they could still be like this… friends. 

The whole walk home Richie forced Eddie into listening to some of his new Jokes he was working on for shows, which Eddie was secretly very happy about and kind of honored to be the first to hear them. Even though most of them were very rough and not all that funny. 

When they finally got to the front door of the house they stopped for a minute. Eddie still laughing at Richie for his last terrible joke. Eddie lightly pushed at Richie’s chest as he giggled, his hand lingering there a little longer than it probably should have. 

He forgot how warm Richie always was. 

When he finally caught his breath he caught Richie’s eye. They just stared at each other for a moment, blush spreading across both their cheeks as they realized the intimacy of it all. 

Richie looked away, rubbing the back of his head, making even more of a mess of his black curls. 

“Listen, Eddie…” 

All of a sudden the door swung open, making them both jump. 

“Eddie?” 

Standing in the doorway was Charles, looking between the both of them, confused. 

“Charles?” Eddie said back. 

“Where were you? I was supposed to pick you up an hour ago for our lunch date.” 

Eddie felt the color run out of his face. He’d forgotten all about that. 

“Are you okay? It’s not like you to…” 

Eddie shook his head. “yeah, everything is fine. I just forgot. I’m sorry.” 

Charles didn’t seem to take that explanation well, as he turned his head to look at Richie, displeased at the sight of the messy looking boy. 

Eddie watched in amazement as the two of them sat in a staring match and wondered how the world hadn’t combusted yet. It felt strange having these two people in the same place at once as they seemed to come from two completely separate reality’s. Two different Eddie’s, and he wasn’t sure which one he was when they were both there.

Eddie felt the awkward tension between the two grow and decided he had to intervene. Even if the world exploded as a result. 

“Charles… This is our new roommate. Richie Tozier.” 

Eddie turned towards Richie, his brown eyes still locked on Charles. “Richie, this is Charles Rhodes.” Eddie found himself really wishing he didn’t have to say this next part. “My boyfriend.” 

Richie finally turned his head away from Charles at that and onto Eddie. 

Eddie could see something like hurt flash behind his eyes and Eddie’s heart broke a little for him... and maybe for himself. But as quickly as Richie showed it, it was gone, and he was reaching a hand out to Charles. 

“Nice to meet you.”


	30. I Thought This Was a Comedy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for being gone so long! thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a good holiday and enjoy the chapter. <3

“It's just not like you to forget.” Charles said, after he dragged Eddie into the kitchen to reprimand him for missing their lunch date.

Eddie expected nothing less from Charles. Anytime he did anything “wrong” He would get scolded like he was a child. He hated it. It reminded him of his mother. And every time Charles would puff out his chest, and talk down on him, Eddie would wonder why he wanted to be with someone like that. Like his mother. But then here he was again, letting it happen. Apologizing. 

But maybe he needed that. Needed that kind of presence to keep him grounded… or weigh him down. 

“I know, I’m sorry… It just completely slipped my mind.” 

Charles sighed and smiled in that charming way he did when he was about to say something mean. He rested a hand under Eddie’s elbow, gently caressing him. 

“It’s okay.” Charles glared into the living room behind Eddie. “I just don’t like him.” 

Eddie turned his head to see Richie in the living room with Adam, doing some ridiculous impressions for him. 

Eddie couldn’t help but smile when Richie noticed them looking and stopped to wave with a dorky look on his face. Completely unaware that they were talking about him, and if he did know, he didn’t care. 

Charles rolled his eyes at the boy and looked back at Eddie. “See, He’s just…” Charles stopped when he noticed Eddie’s attention was still on the loud mouth boy.

“Hello?” Charles said, frustrated and waving a hand in front of Eddie’s face. 

Eddie snapped out of it and turned his attention back on Charles. “Look, Richie is just a good friend. I told you, we have history.” 

That was an understatement. 

Charles squinted at Eddie and crossed his arms tight across his chest. “Yes, well I’m wondering just what kind of history.” 

Eddie’s cheeks heated up as he thought back on quiet kisses under the Derry night sky, holding hands under the blankets at a Losers movie nights, long talks and late nights… I love yous. 

Edddie shook his head, willing those thoughts away. 

He looked up at Charles sweetly. Tactfully dancing around the subject. He didn’t need to know all of that. 

“You’re being paranoid.” Eddie almost laughed. “I love you. I’m sorry I missed lunch.” He topped it off with a gentle kiss for good measure. 

“Well… alright.” Charles said. “Just don’t spend so much time with him. Okay?” Charles looked at Richie again, still yammering away about nonsense probably. “I know he’s your friend but… I don’t know if you really want to be associated with a guy like that.” 

Eddie gave Charles a dirty look. He hated when anyone talked negatively about Richie. Especially when they didn’t know him. 

“A guy like what?” Eddie tried not to sound too defensive but it still came out like a bite.

“Cmon Eddie.” Charles started. “The guy is practically a poster child for being a man child, and I thought you were getting serious.” 

Eddie bit his tongue. He wanted to yell at Charles. He didn’t know why he felt an anger bubbling inside him. The same anger he felt back in school when kids would tease Richie and he would go after them like a territorial chihuahua. 

He choked the anger down though, he didn’t want to make this any more complicated. “Don’t worry.” Is all he said. 

“OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT!” 

Eddie immediately jumped up from his desk chair when he heard Richie screaming from the other room. 

“Richie! Are you oka- AH!” 

On his way to save Richie from possible danger, Eddie found himself face down on the floor, after tripping on a pair of pants from the day before. That’s what he gets for not cleaning them up right away. 

Luckily though, Richie wasn’t in any trouble as he came bursting through Eddie’s door with the biggest smile on his face. 

“Eds! Guess what the fuck just…” Richie stopped for a moment, assessing the situation he had just walked in on. “Are you okay?” 

Eddie groaned from the floor, not wanting to admit that he had tripped trying to come to Richie’s rescue. 

“I was just… doing some yoga.” He lied as he stood slowly, trying not to make his pain obvious.

Richie laughed. “You’re so weird dude.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and rubbed his side. “Yeah yeah yeah… What did you want to tell me?” 

Richie’s eyes went wide again behind his thick glasses, like he had forgotten all about his amazing news. 

“Oh yeah! Randy Harlem wants me to audition to star in his new movie!” 

Eddie stared blankly at him. “Who?” 

Richie sighed, exasperated. “RANDY FREAKIN HARLEM! Only the greatest director of our generation!”

“Oh… well I’ve never heard of him.” Eddie said bluntly.

“Yeah well his movies probably aren’t really your thing. He does mostly comedy. Super raunchy stuff.” Richie laughed. 

“Sounds perfect for you then Rich.” Eddie smirked. “I’m happy for you.” 

There was a silence after that, that neither of them really knew how to fill. 

Richie rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, well the audition is in three days and I was wondering if maybe you’d read some lines with me?” 

Eddie blinked a few times, confused. “I'm not an actor, Rich… Why don’t you ask Adam? he’s the musical theatre major.” 

Eddie didn’t really want Richie to ask Adam… he was happy Richie asked him instead, even if the reason wasn’t clear. 

Richie looked down at the ground, bashfully. “Yeah but I know you’ll be honest if I suck.” 

Eddie tapped his chin. “So I can be brutally honest?” 

“Please.” Richie smiled.

“Alright. I couldn’t possibly pass up an offer to boss you around.” Eddie smirked. 

“Great.” Richie smiled. 

Eddie took a deep breath, standing outside Richie’s bedroom door. He was completely exhausted from working a double but he promised Richie he would help. 

Charles wouldn’t like it, spending this extra time with him, but this was work related. Eddie was just helping Richie with his career… nothing wrong with that. Nothing sneaky… he was staying serious. 

Eddie knocked gently at the door that was cracked open and pushed on it a bit. “Rich?” 

Richie was pacing around his room, script already in hand, babbling to himself. He stopped when he noticed Eddie. “Well, look who decided to show up.” He half joked. 

Eddie set his work bag down, still in his bakery uniform. Khakis and a purple collared shirt. “Sorry, one of my co- workers got sick and I had to work a double.” 

“It’s okay… you look tired… are you sure you’re up for this?” Richie asked, looking concerned at the blatant bags under Eddie’s eyes. 

Eddie yawned and nodded. “I’m fine.” 

Richie looked hesitant but he really needed some help. He was freaking out about this audition. “Alright, here.” He stepped closer to Eddie and handed him a copy of the script. “We can start at page 46. That’s where my character talks to this girl Emily… you. There’s a lot of dialog in that scene that I need to work on.” 

“Eddie’s eyes traveled down to Richie’s bare chest… why the fuck wasn’t he wearing a shirt? Eddie should look away. He shouldn’t look at the curly dark hair that covered Richie’s chest and his stomach... slipping down under the band of his sweatpants…

“Hello? Earth to Eddie?” 

“Huh?” Eddie’s head snapped up. Shit. He was totally just staring at Richie’s body. He had to play this off. “Sorry I just dozed off.” 

“It's okay… Just…” Richie reached out and grabbed Eddie on either side of his arms and directed him to sit on the bed. “Sit… and read. I promise I'll let you go to bed if you Just help me with this one scene.” 

“I told you I’m fine.” Eddie said sleepily. He flipped through the pages until he got to that page Richie said. 

Richie started to shake out his arms and legs and looked over the words, presumably “Getting into character”. It was interesting seeing him actually try at something, as that was a rare occurrence. 

“Whenever you’re ready.” Richie said, not breaking his gaze from the paper in front of him. 

Eddie squinted at the page and started to read Emily’s part. He did his best to add some emotion but he knew it was coming out flat and monotone. Richie didn’t seem to care though, mouthing along with him. 

“Nick… I miss you. You’ve been gone for so long.”

Richie's voice suddenly went soft as he read his part. “I know. I've missed you too.” 

“Why were you gone for so long?” Eddie read. 

“I thought It would be best that way. That I stay away from you.” 

Eddie read the next line silently. “But I love you.” 

“Eddie?” Richie questioned when he continued to be quiet. “That’s your cue Emmy.” He joked. 

Eddie looked up at him, furrowing his brow. “I thought this was a comedy?” 

“It is.” Richie assured him. “This part is a little on the serious side. That’s why I have to practice, because we both know I’m not the best with that stuff.” 

Eddie looked back down at the page and continued. “But…” He paused for a minute. 

You’re just reading from a script Eddie, it doesn’t mean anything.

He forced the words out, sounding a little broken. “But I love you.” 

Eddie looked up at Richie who was staring at him with those big brown eyes. He didn’t look down at his script, knowing the next part from memory. “I love you too Emily. That’s why I did it.” 

Eddie gulped at the sincere way Richie was looking at him as he said those words. 

He’s just acting. 

Richie continued. “I was protecting you from this life that I chose. I never wanted you to get hurt.” 

Eddie looked back down at the page and read his next part, trying to hide how Richie’s acting was affecting him. “I don't care about all that. I just want to be with you.” 

Eddie started to flip over to the next page when Richie shouted out. “No! If something ever happened to you I would never forgive myself!” He was really getting into it now. He charged at Eddie and took his hand to guide him off the bed so that he was standing with him.

Eddie dropped the script, but Richie didn’t seem to notice or care, just using Eddie as a prop now. Not that Eddie minded much. 

Richie caressed Eddie’s cheek and looked down at him lovingly. Eddie’s tired head was racing. What the fuck was happening right now? 

“Emily, promise me that you won't follow me. I need you to be okay.” 

And just like that Richie looked like he was leaning in to kiss him. Eddie’s brain was shouting at him to run... to abort mission, but his chest felt warm and his stomach was jumping. He leaned in too. Yearning for that feeling of their lips crashing together. 

And then all of a sudden Richie’s warmth was gone and he let go. 

Eddie opened his eyes to find Richie backing away. “How was that? Convincing?”

Too convincing.

Eddie breathed out, trying to calm himself and get rid of the electric feeling that was still coursing through his body. 

“Y-yeah.” Eddie stuttered out. “I thought it was good.” 

“Awesome.” Richie said, picking up his script and casually looking it over again, as if nothing had just happened between them. But then again, nothing did happen between them… it happened to Nick and Emily. 

“Thanks for helping Eddie boy, I was just freaking out about that part.” 

“No problem.” Eddie breathed out as his eyes landed on Richies ass as he bent over to grab the pencil he had dropped for notes. 

“Damn” Eddie whispered. 

“What Eds?” Richie asked as he turned back around. 

Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline of what just happened or the crippling exhaustion that made him do it, but just like that he lunged forward at Richie and crashed their lips together, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck. Grabbing desperately at the curls on the back of his head.

It felt so good. It felt like Richie. It smelled like Richie. It tasted like Richie. Not ridged or fake. Real and good and right. 

Then all of a sudden Richie was pulling away again and Eddie felt like he was falling down from his high, back into reality. 

He blinked a few times, coming to terms with what had just happened, what he had just done. 

When his now teary eyes focused, he saw Richie in front of him with a hand held out between them, keeping his distance. 

It hurt. Eddie wasn't sure what he was expecting. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted. But by the way his heart sank into his stomach, it wasn’t that. 

“Eds… woah… what just happened?” Richie asked, completely in shock. 

Eddie started to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I should… I have to.” He sputtered out as he hastily grabbed his bag and tried to book it out of there. 

“Eddie, wait!” Richie shouted at him, 

Eddie didn’t listen, wanting to get as far away as he could from the situation. Unfortunately he wouldn’t get that far since his room was just a couple steps away. He slammed his door and locked it, which seemed to do the trick since Richie left him alone for the rest of the night. 

What the fuck did he just do?


	31. Cornered Into A Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ive been gone for a while. Lots of stuff going on. I’m sure you all understand that. I’m not abandoning this story tho so don’t worry about that.:) hope you enjoy this chapter.

In the days after the kiss with Richie, Eddie was overcome with serious self loathing, paired with multiple mental breakdowns.

What the actual fuck did he just do? 

He wanted to disappear. Wanted to shrink down into himself, never to be seen again. This was by far the most idiotic thing he’d ever done. The look of pure shock on Richie’s face after it happened still burned in the forefront of his mind like a scary movie he couldn’t turn off. 

The kiss was a lot of things but mostly, it was irresponsible. 

They’re living together. Just becoming friends again. How could he jeopardize everything like that? And for what? He probably should just talk to Richie. Explain himself and hopefully move on, but… he wasn’t really sure how to explain something he wasn’t ever sure of himself. 

He’d been in a constant wrestling match with his mind since it happened. Trying to reason with himself and coming up short. One painful question on a loop in his head, eating him up.

Why did he do it? 

It should have been a simple enough question. With a simple answer to boot. 

But it wasn’t simple. In fact, it was turning out to be one of the the toughest questions Eddie had ever been faced with and would probably be the reason for his inevitable psychotic break. 

Sure, he and Charles had been having problems but Eddie had always been mostly satisfied with their relationship and more importantly, he had always been faithful. It wasn’t like him to cheat, and the heavy guilt that sat in his chest was slowly killing him. He was a good partner. Never strayed. He had never even really been tempted to. So why now with Richie did he throw that all away in one confusing, yet all consuming moment? 

Yes, Richie is… attractive. In an unconventional way. Eddie had always known himself to be a sucker for Richie’s unique features. The ones that made him, him. The sharp jawline that came to a point at his chin and the fullness of his lips that framed the white smugness of his smile. 

But his attraction to him aside. It still didn’t explain the impulsive behavior. He’d been done with Richie romantically for years. It didn’t work out the first time. In fact it was a mess. A mess that ended. That Eddie ended. It was ancient history. Drop the mic. Over. 

He had just worked a double. He wasn’t in his right mind and nearly half asleep. Basically a zombie. And zombies can’t be held responsible for their actions… right? 

The more Eddie stewed over it, the more confused he felt. He decided to drag it out as long as possible. Maybe the situation would eventually dissipate, along with the feelings. 

While waiting for the whole thing to disappear, Eddie had been avoiding his own house, coming up with any and all excuses not to be there when Richie was. It was becoming a little exaustimg, having to aimlessly walk around the city, sitting in bars and doing his school work at the little coffee shop down the street. All to avoid his very unconventionally attractive ex boyfriend who he kissed and can’t stop thinking about even though he has a boyfriend. 

His only save and grace was his morning runs. It was time to himself, when the city was just waking up. He could just let himself be swept away by the feeling of running, being free, his muscles working and stretching as he focused on his steady breathing.

He was going down his normal route, breathing in the crisp, early morning air as he passed by the usual busy businesses and cafe’s. The smell of coffee pouring out of them and into the streets. As traffic picked up, the city began to show its true colors. Cars passing by honked and people were yelling from every direction. A typical morning in New York. Complete chaos to anyone else, but Eddie found a strange calm in it. 

He was pulled out of his tranquil, focused state when he heard a deep voice suddenly come from beside him. “Nice shorts.” 

Eddie turned and let out a yelp when he came face to face with the one, the only, Richie Tozier. He fell sideways a bit, catching himself before he completely toppled over. 

“Richie?!” He shouted, palms pressed into his knees, trying to catch his breath. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” He was coming down from his runners high fast, his head spinning. 

Richie gestured down at his sweats. “Running.” He answered casually, as if there were no alternative motive. 

Eddie squinted at him, crossing his arms tight across his chest. “You don't run.” He said suspiciously. 

Richie shrugged. “You’ve driven me to do drastic things Eds.” He chuckled. “Apparently you are a tough man to see.” 

Eddie tensed. Fuck. Richie noticed that Eddie hadn’t been around much and there was something in Richie’s eyes that looked determined. Eddie knew what was coming. The dreaded talk. 

“Yeah well… sorry about that but um if you don’t mind I’m going to get back to…” Eddie pointed a thumb behind him as he backed away, hoping Richie would just let him go. 

Eddie turned away from him to start running again when he felt a hand grab at his elbow. 

“Eddie, wait.” 

Eddie contemplated pretending that he didn’t hear him. To just keep running. The devil on his shoulder screaming at him to get the fuck out of there. He turned slowly to face him. “What?” He asked dumbly. As if he didn’t know exactly what Richie was trying to do. 

Richie suddenly looked nervous, like he wasn’t sure what to say next. He sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Well, I just think we should… ya know… talk about what happened.” 

Eddie could tell he was trying to be casual about it. To not make it awkward. But it was. 

Eddie stared for a moment, watching Richie watch him through the thick lenses of his glasses. 

He looked expectantly at him, as if Eddie were supposed to just explain. Like he would come up with some witty explanation and they could laugh about it. As if it were that simple. 

Eddie looked down at Richie's lips. Pink and full. He could instantly feel them on his own, remembering how soft they were, what he tasted like and his head swam with it, making him dizzy. He wanted to taste him again. 

Explain. Explain why it was a mistake.

He could feel his heart start to race in his chest and the noises around them suddenly became louder. Pounding in his head and making it impossible to think.

He couldn’t breathe. 

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t have this conversation right now. 

He shook his head violently. “No.” He let out shakily. “I don’t want to talk… I mean I don’t know why I did it… I was just…” Eddie stopped, his hands moving as if by muscle memory to search his body for an inhaler he no longer carried with him. 

He could feel himself sinking more and more into panic. He had to get out of there. 

“Eddie? Are you okay?” Richie’s voice echoed through the haze. 

Eddie began backing away from him. “I need to go.” He said as he suddenly bolted down the street. His lungs felt like they were on fire but he had to keep running. Keep running until he calmed down. 

“Eddie!” Richie called after him. 

Eddie turned his head, surprised to find the boy who had the muscle mass of a twig and had been smoking since junior high, chasing after him at impressive speed. 

“Eddie, Cmon slow down!” 

Eddie just ignored him. He would lose him eventually. 

He took a some sharp turns, doing his best to shake him but Richie was not giving up. 

It wasn’t until he turned down an alley way behind some shops that Richie seemed to be falling behind. 

All of a sudden Eddie heard a loud “fuck!” Behind him, followed by the sound of something hitting the pavement. 

Eddie turned around quickly to find Richie on the ground, out of breath and making pained noises. 

In that moment all desperation of getting away escaped Eddie’s mind as worry took over. Before he even knew what he was doing his legs carried him to where Richie was on the ground. He crouched beside him, not thinking of how this was the exact opposite thing he should be doing. Taking care of Richie… but old habits die hard.

“Richie! Are you okay?! You shouldn’t have ran after me…” He began to scold. Before Richie could even get a word out, Eddie was looking him over, thick eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “Did you break anything?!” 

Richie looked up at him, his glasses a bit askew. Eddie met his gaze and watched as a grin slowly stretched across his face.

Eddie stared at him for a moment, processing the betrayal. His eyes widened when it clicked. “You fucking asshole!” He yelled as he slapped Richie’s shoulder. “You were fucking faking it?!” 

Richie just laughed at him. “Acting BAYBEE.” He winked and finger gunned at Eddie. 

Eddie scoffed, standing up in a heated blaze of anger. “What the fuck!” 

“I had to do something! I was going to have a fucking heart attack if I kept running after you!” Richie yelled back, standing up too now. He dusted himself off and looked over at Eddie who was refusing to meet his eyes. Standing with his arms crossed, staring down at the pavement. His uncomfortableness apparent. 

Richie sighed. “Listen, this doesn’t have to be weird.” 

Eddie snapped his head to look at Richie. “Oh, so I’m making things weird?!” 

Richie laughed at that. “Yeah, a little bit man.” 

Eddie could feel his face start to get red and he looked away again, feeling embarrassed about what he did and the fact that he couldn’t explain why. 

“You don’t need to explain.” Richie spoke softly as if he knew what Eddie was thinking. “I know it was a mistake.” 

Eddie turned his head quickly to look at him. “Huh?” 

Richie shrugged. “I know you were just tired and things got a little… intense… with the characters.” 

Eddie blinked a few times. “Yeah… intense.” 

Richie grinned, gesturing towards himself. “I guess that’s just what happens when you’re a talented actor like me.” He held his hand up as if he were trying to be Shakespeare. “You were merely just a casualty of my suaveness.” 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Shut up, dickhead.” 

Richie laughed back. “Ah, there he is.” 

Eddie smiled at him, rolling his eyes. It was so weird how cool Richie was being about it. Eddie thought he’d… care more? But this was good. He could keep Charles and Richie as a friend. Nothing had to change. They could just forget and move on. 

... but why didn't he care though? Was he that over Eddie, that he could shrug all of that off like it never happened? Eddie wondered why in the pit of his stomach the word mistake sat like a rock. Why it stung when Richie said it. 

Maybe he didn’t want Richie to regret it. Maybe he wanted Richie to want him too. Or maybe it was just Eddie’s ego.

Richie started to dig in the pocket of his sweatshirt and pulled out a cigarette, putting it between his lips and lighting it. He inhaled deeply as if he'd needed it desperately. 

Eddie cringed and swatted the smoke away from his face. “Ugh. You still do that shit?” 

Richie laughed. “Yup.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Disgusting.” 

Richie leaned down into Eddie’s space with that shit eating grin. “Well you must not think I’m that disgusting, sweet lips.” He winked.

Eddie’s cheeks turned bright red at that and he wished again that he could crawl into a hole. cursing himself for giving Richie yet another thing to torture him with.

“Will you just shut up! It was an… an accident! I was barely even conscious!”

Richie laughed, taking a long drag off his cigarette. When he smiled smoke poured out between his teeth and out his nose. Eddie would be lying if the sight didn’t make him a little weak in the knees. 

“I’m just messing with you Eds.” His hand reached up and tousled Eddie’s light brown locks. 

Eddie pushed his hands away quickly. “Yeah well… can we just forget about it? I don’t need you holding it over me. I have…” Eddie paused. 

“Charles?” Richie finished for him. 

Eddie looked up at him, somewhat apologetically. “Well, yeah. But I also just like being friends with you again. I don’t want to mess it up.” 

Richie smiled at the pavement almost shyly. “Yeah? I guess I like it too.” 

Eddie watched Richie as he continued to smoke. He took in their surroundings as they stood behind some old buildings, away from the hustle and bustle of the crowd, but the city’s noise still lively around them. It felt strangely comfortable. Like old times. Like hanging out in Richie’s bedroom on the weekends or riding their bikes to the quarry. 

“So I got the part.” Richie’s voice spoke softly. 

“Huh?” Eddie said, coming back from his daze. 

“I got the part… for the movie.” 

Eddie shook his head. “What?! That’s awesome! why didn’t you tell me?”

Richie flicked his cigarette butt on the ground and stepped on it with the toe of his chucks. Twisting a bit at his ankle. “I tried but you were avoiding me.” 

Eddie’s head sunk into his shoulders a bit at that, feeling guilty. “Oh… sorry.” 

“It’s okay Eds. I’m telling you now.” Richie said kindly, as if Eddie avoiding him hadn’t hurt, but Eddie could tell it kind of did and he felt even worse. 

“Anyways, the director is throwing this cast party thing before we start shooting.” 

“Sounds fun.” 

Richie laughed at that. “Not really. I’m just going to be hanging out with a bunch of snobby actors at some fancy house. I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb there Eds.” 

Eddie smiled. He kind of loved when Richie got like this. Vulnerable. When he let his insecurities show. “I’m sure you’ll be fine Rich. I saw how you won those People over when you did your comedy act.” He smiled when he thought back to it. The pride he felt to even know Richie. To know the guy who held an entire room in the palm of his hand. “Just do that… just do that thing you always do that makes people love you.” 

When Eddie looked up at Richie he was instantly met with dark brown eyes on him. Richie was staring at him in a way that made him swallow hard. 

“Wow. Was that like, an actual compliment?” Richie asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah. Don’t let it get to your head, Tozier.” 

“Too late!” Richie yelled out dramatically. “Eddie Spaghetti Kaspbrak thinks I’m lovable! That’s not something to be taken lightly.” 

“You are such a weirdo.” 

“a lovable weirdo.” Richie corrected with a grin. “Anyways, I was going to ask if maybe you’d want to come with me?” 

Eddie felt himself instantly panic a bit. “What? Like to the cast party thing?” 

“Yeah.” Richie said. “I have a plus one and I thought it might be…” 

“I don’t think so Richie.” Eddie cut him off suddenly. 

Richie paused for a moment and then looked a bit confused at him. “Why not?” 

Eddie sighed, not wanting to hurt Richie’s feelings. “I just don’t think it would be a good idea… ya know… with everything that happened between us.” 

“Eddie, it was just a stupid kiss.” Richie said a little annoyed. “It’s not a big deal, we’re past it. I want to go with you as friends. It’ll be fun to hang out.” 

Eddie didn’t really know what to say to that because yeah, it shouldn’t be a big deal. They’d worked it out. Going with Richie might actually be fun… but… Eddie wasn’t past it. The kiss. He wasn’t past it because he still found himself craving the taste of Richie’s lips again. Feeling his warmth. He still had the urge to bury his nose into the crook of his neck and take in the smell of him. 

He still felt hungry with want when he was around Richie. And this time he was fully awake. New excuses. No late night fog. It was the cool clear light of day and he still wanted to jump Richie’s bones. 

And until that went away he should probably keep his distance. 

“I just don’t think I should go.” Eddie finally said, because he didn’t have anything better to say. 

Richie frowned a bit and looked away from him. He looked genuinely disappointed which made Eddie feel even more guilty. After all, it wasn’t Richie who initiated the kiss and it wasn’t Richie who was having the internal crises. The more Eddie thought about it, the more he felt like some kind of predator. Having to shun Richie just to keep his sexual feelings in check. 

“I’m sorry.” Eddie said softly. 

Richie sighed, then looked back at him. “It’s alright Eds. I get it.” 

He sounded like a kicked dog and Eddie felt his heart drop. 

“I’m gonna head back home.” Richie said. “It’s fucking cold out here.” 

“It’s almost summer.” Eddie said in disbelief. “This is warm.”

Richie laughed. “I’m from California. Your warm and my warm are very different.” He turned to start going back. “Are you coming?” 

Eddie shook his head. “I’m going to finish up my route and then I’ll meet you back there.” 

Richie just nodded his head and then started to walk away, shivering as he went, his long arms curled around him. 

Fuck. Eddie felt like an asshole. 

Eddie ran for a while more, going beyond his normal route because he needed it. Needed to run until he could feel the stress of everything melt away and his bones felt like jelly. 

When he was sufficiently worn out he headed back to the house where he immediately saw Richie and Adam in the kitchen together. 

The two were sharing some grapes sitting in the middle of the counter., Adam had his not at all subtle flirt face on. 

Richie was leaning over the counter smiling a flirtatious grin back at him. Leaning in closer. Eddie couldn’t hear what he was saying, but by the way Adam was staring at Richie’s lips, it must not have been PG. 

Eddie stopped for a moment, sort of caught off guard by this. He blinked a few times, watching the interaction. He’d never seen Richie be like that with someone before. Richie had been hit on occasionally throughout high school once he hit puberty. Even by people (who Eddie will not name) when Eddie and him were dating. 

But… he had never returned it. Never once had he looked at someone else the way he looked at Eddie. 

Now, Eddie wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t egotistical enough to believe that Richie wouldn’t have ever flirted during the years after they broke up, but he'd never seen it with his own eyes. 

He watched bitterly as Richie’s eyes traveled down Adam’s body, his face. Remembering a time when he looked at him that way. The power he felt when Richie Tozier had his full attention on him. Everything in the world stopped and he suddenly felt like the most special person in the world because Richie thought so. Because Richie saw him.

He was sure Adam couldn’t possibly appreciate it the way a young Eddie Kaspbrak did… the way he would now too. 

Eddie watched for a minute longer, starting to become blatantly aware of the fact he was being very nosy. It was none of his business. He should probably just walk away… leave them alone. But then he sees Adam move, bending in towards Richie and Eddie is horrified thinking of what might come next. 

“Ahhheemmmm.” Eddie cleared his throat loudly. 

Richie and Adam both snapped their heads towards him. 

“Oh, Eddie!” Adam said. Sickeningly happy to see him and unaware of any tension. 

When Eddie looked at Richie though, he looked almost guilty. Not looking at Eddie.

“How was your run?” 

“Fine.” Eddie spoke through gritted teeth. He was finding it hard to be nice to Adam when all he could think about was him leaning in to steal a kiss from his ex. He had to quickly remind himself though. That he himself okayed it. Adam was one of his best friends and he didn’t know how Eddie was feeling. “It was nice.” He tried again, with less bite. “What are you guys up to?” 

Richie and Adam both looked at eachother like two kids who had just been caught making out by their parents. 

Eddie hated feeling like that. Like he was interrupting them. 

Adam smiled. “Richie was just telling me some stories about Derry. I didn’t know you broke your arm!” 

Eddie stared daggers at Richie. “You told him about that?” Eddie asked, muffling his speech as if it were some big secret.  
Richie smiled a shit eating grin. “Oh sure Eds. I told Adam all about that insane jock from Derry high who started beating up on you.” 

“What?” Eddie asked dryly. 

Richie leaned in close to Adam. “Yeah, poor little guy just couldn’t take him. He was HUGE. I totally stepped in and saved him though.” 

“Wow, that must have been insane.” Adam said, completely over the top and fawning all over Richie like a ridiculous school girl, hanging on every word. 

Richie shrugged. “It was tough but that guy was no match for the Tozier.” 

Eddie could have exploded with pure rage. “That is not what fucking happened asshole!” He shouted with a hand karate chopping the air angrily beside his face. 

“Oh really?” Richie cocked an eyebrow. Seemingly loving Eddie’s reaction to his story. “Then what DID happen?” He grinned knowingly. 

Eddie’s lips puckered in anger. Well fucking played. Richie knew he couldn’t tell the actual story. Who would believe that a demon clown from space made him fall through a hole in the ceiling of a creepy crackhead house?

Eddie couldn’t even form a cohesive sentence, falling over his words. “You… why the fuck would you… you’re such a fucking… ugh!” 

He finally had enough. Feeling worked up from watching the two of them eye fuck eachother as soon as he walked through the door and now Richie using a memory of theirs (albeit twisted) as a way to impress Adam. It was just too much. 

He stomped off to his room, closing the door quickly behind him. 

Later that night. Eddie had calmed down from the earlier stresses of the day. enjoying his night off with a cup of warm herbal tea steaming next to him on his bedside table and a book in hand as he lazily flipped through the pages. 

He suddenly heard a knock at the door. 

“I’ll give back your fancy pens later Stan!” Eddie shouted, expecting his friend to be on the other side of the door. 

“It’s me dipshit.” 

Eddie froze when his brain registered the voice. 

“What do you want?” Eddie shouted back. 

“I was… can I come in?” 

Eddie thought for a second. “I don’t know, are there any other traumatic childhood memories you’d like to twist into terrible pick up lines?” Eddie snapped.

Richie laughed on the other side of the door. “I’m coming in.” 

The door handle started to turn and Eddie quickly covered his bare legs with his throw blanket, suddenly feeling very exposed. 

Richie’s raven curls appeared behind the door, as did the rest of his lanky body soon after. “Hey Eds.” He said.

“What do you want?” Eddie asked, still annoyed. 

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about all that earlier. I didn’t think it would make you so mad.” 

“Yeah because who wouldn’t want to be the butt of you’re stupid story.” Eddie snapped. “And the fact that you said it to get in my friends pants makes it so much better.” 

Richie tensed a bit, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, I wasn’t really thinking... if you aren’t comfortable with it...” 

Eddie suddenly felt like he might be sick. Since when was this a thing?! Since when was there an “it” between them?! The last time he checked Richie didn't really seem interested. He wanted to yell as much at him but bit his tongue. 

“You and Adam?” Eddie tried to say casually, but he knew his face was giving him away. Scrunched up in disgust like he just smelled spoiled milk. 

“Yeah... But we don’t have to if its like, weird for you of whatever.” 

Eddie wanted to scream because yes, it was fucking weird for him. When he told Adam he’d be fine if the two of them got together it was all just theoretic and Richie was just a distant memory. He didn't feel real yet. But here he is now. Real. Asking him if he’d be okay with him getting involved with Adam. Eddie felt cornered into a wall. He was beyond not wanting this to happen, but if he told Richie that, he worried his facade might start to fall apart.

“No. It’s fine.” He finally said. Feeling like someone was inching him in the stomach. 

Richie’s dark eyes suddenly became serious, almost testing as they searched Eddie. “You’re sure?” 

“Yeah. I’m sure.”


	32. Hurt, Confused and Painfully Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a minute😓 sorry about that but I cranked this one out for u guys! <3 hope you enjoy!

Eddie is painfully, excruciatingly disgusted. Every piece of dog shit and dirty hand railing in the city couldn’t compare to how Richie and Adam make him feel. It's a never ending gross fest of flirtatious laughing and touching that makes Eddie feel nauseous anytime he’s around them. And even when he’s not. 

He’s caught himself thinking about it on his runs, at work and really any other time of the day. It was eating him up inside. 

The worst part was that they’ve just started “seeing each other”. It had only been one date so far. ONE. And Eddie was already done with it all, but he knew this was only the beginning. 

On top of it, Eddie was feeling more uninterested in Charles than usual. Ignoring most of his calls and canceling plans. When they did see each other, Eddie just felt distant. Only able to really think about one thing… and it wasn’t Charles. 

It probably wasn’t helping that Eddie had all this extra time off now that he was officially done with school for summer break. That meant extra time at the house and with Richie. Which wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it weren’t for Adam being attached to his side all the time, basically drooling all over him. 

Adam would be gone though for a couple weeks to visit his family in Michigan. Stan would be leaving too to go on a vacation with his girlfriend Patty and her family. Which meant the house would be pretty empty for a while and would give Eddie a chance to breathe. But it also meant he and Richie would be alone. 

It had to be better than watching Adam and Richie be all over each other all the time. It was driving Eddie up the wall and he needed a break. Even if being alone with Richie might be awkward. 

But then again… Eddie should be happy for his friends. They deserve it. 

He just couldn’t see it. Them together. It didn’t make sense. 

Adam couldn’t possibly give Richie what he needs. He’s basically just a yes man. Agreeing with everything Richie says and laughing at every joke. Even the shitty ones. 

Richie never liked when Eddie didn’t give his opinion. Even if he had to piss him off to get it. Richie appreciated honesty, and above all he liked a little bite back. And boy did Eddie give him that. 

Adam just didn’t. 

Charles didn’t either though. 

He didn’t give Eddie that same feeling. When they’re going at it and Eddie can feel the fire in his stomach. The passion. Richie made him feel good. Even when he was mad at him. 

With Charles it’s easy. Dull. Boring. 

He missed that feeling of fire… with Richie. 

The night after Stan and Adam both left, Richie suggested they watch a movie together. Which made Eddie’s heart jump in his chest stupidly. 

He agreed, but of course neither of them could agree on a movie. 

“Ed’s, Cmon. You like Jurassic Park. I remember.” 

“Yeah, but I’ve seen it a million times!” Eddie shot back as he reached down to rummage through their drawer of movies. “How about this one?” He asked as he pulled one out. 

Richie took it from him and squinted at the cover in the dim room. “Pretty woman?” He laughed a little. “Eddie… are we really going to be THOSE gays?” 

Eddie breathed out, frustrated. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I like this movie, asshole!” He yelled.

Richie grinned, biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing. “Of course YOU do.” He said as if he were trying to insinuate something which only made Eddie madder. 

He angrily grabbed the movie back from Richie. “It’s a good movie, dickwad!” He pointed at the cover. “See! Critics call it truly captivating and romantic!”

Richie laughed harder at that, almost bending in half. “Oh my god! Eddie, they put that on every movie cover! It doesn’t mean anything!” 

Eddie’s scowl deepened. “Well, your boyfriend likes it too.” He said with obvious bitterness. “In Fact, this is his copy.” 

Richie immediately stopped laughing at that. “Boyfriend?” He questioned. 

“Yeah.” Eddie rolled his eyes at Richie playing dumb. “Adam.” 

Richie just continued to look confused. “Adam isn’t my boyfriend.” He finally said, almost laughing. 

Eddie blinked at him a few times, a little taken back by that statement. “But you guys are dating?” 

“We went on one date. That not exactly going steady. Besides, I don’t really…” Richie stopped suddenly. 

Eddie just looked at him expectantly. 

Richie sighed, continuing. “I don’t really date… like exclusively.” 

Eddie wasn’t really sure what to make of that. On one hand it was somewhat nice to hear him and Adam weren’t all that serious, but now he wondered if there were other people Richie was seeing. 

“Oh, so you’re a man whore now?” Eddie let slip before he could think better of it. 

Richie only laughed and grabbed the movie back from Eddie’s hand. “No. It just means I haven’t found anyone I thought was good enough for that title.” He gave Eddie a little wink. “You set the bar pretty high, Eddie spaghetti.” 

Eddie could feel the blush spread hot across his cheeks. He looked away to hide his embarrassment and tried not to think too hard about what Richie just said. It probably meant nothing… a joke. But it was too late. It already went straight to his now racing heart. 

“So, are we going to watch the movie or what?” He asked, still looking away. 

Richie popped open the movie box dramatically. “Why of course Eds! After all, it’s truly captivating and romantic!” 

Eddie couldn’t help but smirk at that. 

Richie put the movie in and sat down on the couch. Eddie followed suit, making sure to sit a good amount away from Richie. 

As the movie went on, Richie could hardly stay still, as usual. He kept yelling his commentary and started using his voices to make characters say something completely stupid, making Eddie laugh. It seemed too like every time Richie would move around, he was inching closer to Eddie. 

When a steamy scene of the movie came on screen Eddie felt himself stiffen and the room suddenly felt a million degrees hotter. He started really regretting his movie choice. He stayed still, not wanting to look at Richie. 

He kind of wished he would say something. A joke or make fun of it somehow. Anything to make the lump in Eddie’s throat go away. But Richie just stayed silent too and Eddie wondered if he could feel the heaviness in the room too. 

All of a sudden, Eddie felt something brush up against his thigh. He looked down to see that Richie had gotten close enough that his hand was now against him. 

He couldn’t be doing that on purpose. Eddie thought. But then what if he was… 

Eddie looked up at him to see Richie just blankly staring at the screen. His face almost sparkling in the light of the little tv. Eddie’s chest suddenly swarmed with the overwhelming love he felt… had always felt. 

He then felt Richie’s finger start to play with the hem of his shorts, stroking his thigh gently as he did. Sirens were going off in Eddie’s head now. That couldn’t be an accident. 

Eddie wasn’t thinking at this point. He started reaching down slowly until his hand met Richie’s lightly. It was faint. Barely there, but the feeling set his skin on fire. 

His chest began to rise and fall rapidly now. He looked at where their hands met, making sure it was real. When he finally got the courage to look up he was surprised to find Richie looking back at him. Their eyes met and Eddie couldn’t find any words. 

He watched as Richie’s eyes moved down to his lips, looking eager. Eddie’s throat suddenly swelled. He wanted desperately for this to mean what he thought. 

“Richie…” Eddie rasped out finally. So much want in his voice. 

“Ed’s…” Richie answered with equal want. 

They both leaned in towards each other, connecting their lips together. 

It was careful at first but soon became an explosion of every pent up emotion they had felt. It turned hungry and Eddie wanted more. 

More. More. More. 

His hands found the sides of Richie’s face and pulled him closer as his tongue pushed its way into Richie’s mouth, making him moan. 

“God, I missed that sound.” Eddie couldn’t help but let out, feeling high. 

They continued to kiss hotly, slipping deeper and deeper. Eddie pushed Richie back on to the couch so that he was laying down and strattled his hips. 

“Eddie.” Richie breathed between kisses. “Ed’s?” 

“Hmmm?” Eddie partially answered, letting his hands roam Richie’s warm chest. 

“What about Charles?” 

Eddie hadn’t even really thought about him. Which should’ve made him feel worse that it did. This just felt so right. To be here like this with Richie. 

To let himself feel what was real. 

“He doesn’t have to know.” Eddie said, hot and breathy against Richie’s neck as he rutted against him. “I just need you right now.” 

Eddie suddenly felt Richie go stiff under him, and just like that Richie started to sit up. Eddie began to panic a little at that, pushing lightly to guide him back down. When he didn't comply, he leaned in trying to capture Richie’s lips again but he just put a hand on Eddie’s chest to stop him. 

“Actually, I’m pretty tired.” Richie said. 

Edie just stared blankly at him. Not fully believing what he was saying. It had to be some kind of joke. “What?” 

Richie started to gently wiggle out from under Eddie and stood up. 

Shit. He was being serious. 

“Sorry I couldn’t stay up for the whole movie… maybe we’ll finish it some other time.” He said, not meeting Eddie’s eyes. 

Eddie continued to just stare at him. He didn’t care about the fucking movie! Why was this asshole ignoring what just happened between them?! 

“Goodnight.” Richie said before leaving Eddie on the couch. Hurt, confused and painfully hard.


	33. Just Some Fucked Up Kid With a Trashmouth

Eddie woke up from a long night of relentless overthinking. He was exhausted, having barely slept a wink and having to talk himself down multiple times during the night from running down the street and never looking back. He was, for lack of a better word, humiliated. Richie had rejected him. Eddie let his guard down for a minute, forgetting the world around him and just letting himself succumb to his dangerous desires. It was great. For a moment. And then Richie was pulling away.

Eddie knew as soon as the yellow morning light crept through the small cracks between his blinds that he wouldn't be going back to sleep… no matter how drained he was. He had to talk to Richie. Find out what had gone so wrong. If Richie really was over him, it was better for Eddie to hear it now than dance around it perpetually.

He sat up from his bed and rubbed his sleepless eyes. He quickly slipped on a T-shirt and walked across the hall to Richie’s room. He was about to knock on the door when he heard Richie’s voice from the other side. 

“This is why I didn’t tell you Bev! You always act like this!” 

He was talking to Bev and it sounded like they were fighting. Eddie knew at this moment he should walk away and give Richie some privacy. This was none of his business. But then again, they could be talking about him… about what happened between them. And that thought planted his feet firmly in place as he continued to listen in. 

“I’m tired of you telling me what I can and can’t handle!” Richie continued to yell. “Stop acting like my fucking mother! I didn’t need her and I don’t need you! 

Eddie couldn’t believe how mad Richie was and he desperately wanted to know why. He had never heard him yell at Bev like that. 

There was a long pause after that and Eddie wondered what Bev was saying on the other end of the phone. He suddenly heard Richie sigh. “Look, I’m sorry. But I’m fine. I’ll figure it out.” 

Figure what out? Eddie wondered. Figure out how to tell Eddie that things were different. That he had moved on? 

Eddie’s stomach dropped thinking about that reality. A reality where Richie Tozier no longer loved him. Right when he was realizing that he never fell out of love with Richie in the first place. Maybe he was too late. Maybe this was the end. 

Bev was probably telling Richie to let him down easy. God. Eddie wasn’t ready to lose him. He wasn’t ready for Richie to look him in the eye and tell him he didn’t feel the same… or worse that he’d moved on. Maybe with Adam? 

Eddie started to spiral. Convincing himself that all this was due to that. What else could it be? Why else would he just walk out on Eddie like that? 

All of a sudden the door he’d been leaning on opened. 

“Eddie?” 

Eddie caught himself, stumbling a bit. “Oh… Um… hey Richie.” He said as casually as he could, knowing he’d been caught listening in on Richie’s conversation with Bev. “I just thought… maybe… maybe we should talk.” 

It slipped out. Even with his newfound fears of being outright rejected. He had to rip this bandaid off. 

Richie pushed passed him. “Talk?” He questioned dumbly. “About what, Eddie dear?” 

Of Course he was going to act like this. Typical Richie.

Eddie followed him into the kitchen where he started rummaging through the cupboards. 

“You know… about last night.” Eddie mumbled, not wanting to eleborate any further, knowing Richie knew fully well what he was talking about. 

Richie barely paid any mind to him as he continued to push through the boxes of cereal. “Nope, it doesn’t ring a bell spaghetti. Sorry.” 

Eddie groaned, already past his breaking point with this little game Richie was playing with him. “Oh fuck you! You know exactly what I’m talking about!” 

“Yes! Score!” Richie suddenly yelled, pulling out a package of double fudge pop tarts. He quickly started ripping the package open and took a bite like it was the most important thing in the world to him right now. 

In a moment of rage, Eddie smacked the pop tarts right out of Richie’s hand. “Listen to me!” He yelled. “Why won’t you fucking talk to me about this!” 

Richie looked down at his sad pop tart, now lying on the ground; covered in dust and hair that the tile had collected. When he looked up at Eddie, he had a much different expression on his face. It had gone from indifference to anger in just a second and it took Eddie a bit by surprise.

“Why do you want to talk about it?! Isn’t that like the whole point?! That we never talk about it again and just move on with our lives like nothing ever fuckimg happened!” 

Eddie looked at him for a moment, processing the harsh words as they struck him. There was so much sadness behind them. So much blame. So much that Eddie couldn’t understand. 

“Richie, what are you talking abou…” 

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Eddie was cut off by knocking at the door. He ignored it at first, hoping they would just go away but as soon as he tried to speak they knocked again. Louder this time. He groaned and finally went to go answer it, fully prepared to make whoever was on the other side wish they’d never knocked on that door. 

“Eddie?” 

“Charles?” 

There standing in the doorway was someone that had been miles away from Eddie’s mind, seemingly from a different life all together. He felt it crash into this new world he had created with Richie and break it apart even more than it already was.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asked stiffly as Charles pushed passed him. 

Charles sighed. “Eddie, please tell me you didn’t forget.” 

Eddie smiled guiltily. “Forget? No, I didn’t forget.” He lied. 

Charles wasn’t buying it. He cocked an eyebrow at him. “Oh, so that’s what you’re wearing to breakfast with my parents?” 

Eddie looked down at his old t-shirt and pajama pants. “Okay, maybe I forgot.” He smiled awkwardly. 

Charles groaned. “Eddie, this was really important. I’m going to tell them that we are moving in together today.” 

Eddie looked over at an annoyed looking Richie, still leaning against the counter. 

“That… we haven’t decided anything yet Charles.” Eddie said as kindly as he could. 

Charles ignored him. “Just go get dressed please. Quickly.” 

Eddie thought about saying no. Just standing up to him for once. He was tired of feeling like some sort of sparkly accessory to Charles and not like an actual person.

“Oh and don’t be afraid to dress up a bit.” Charles said, masked as a suggestion. “I’m taking us to a bar tonight for dinner with a couple of my co workers.” 

Eddie looked back over at Richie, who had apparently had enough and was retreating back towards his bedroom. 

Eddie thought of a lie fast. “Oh, well I wish you would have given me some more notice because I told Richie I’d help him with some of his jokes tonight. You know… for his act.” 

He glanced at Richie, hoping he would just go with it. 

A very displeased Charles turned his head to look at Richie too, somehow just realizing now that he was there. 

“Oh. Hello Ricky.” He said with a sneer.

Richie didn’t correct him, figuring he’d done it on purpose and just gave him a less than half hearted wave. 

Charles turned back towards Eddie. “Ricky can come tonight if he’d like, but I really think you need to be there Eddie. It’s important to make connections if you want to be successful.” 

Eddie hated when Charles talked down on him like that but he couldn’t help but feel powerless. He gave Richie one last look before succumbing to the pressure and agreeing. 

Whatever, he would get through the day and talk to Richie afterwards. 

After a painful breakfast with Charles’s just as uptight parents, Eddie couldn’t wait to have a drink at dinner. 

He was playing his usual part of perfect boyfriend and sipping on his martini while making small talk with Charles’s insanely boring co workers who only seemed to want to talk about the most mundane things. It was a life he had grown used to, but now that Richie was back he was seeing just how suffocated he felt. 

When he had finally reached the peak of his boredom, he suddenly saw a familiar head of black curls walk through the front door of the bar and he suddenly got a full body high.

“Richie.” Eddie said out loud. 

“What?” One of Charles co workers asked, confused. 

Eddie shook his head. “Oh, sorry… my friend Richie is here.” He said as he pointed over to where he was. 

Eddie hadn’t expected for Richie to actually show up. 

Charles turned in his chair. “Ricky!” He shouted, waving him over. 

Richie made eye contact with Eddie and started walking over towards them. He was wearing a pair of ripped black jeans and one of his famous Hawaiian shirts, unbuttoned revealing the black long sleeve underneath. He looked amazing. He always did. 

Especially now though. Beside the tight assed suit wearing men he was with now. He stood out. In a way Eddie had always Appreciated. 

“Actually it’s Richie.” He said as he got to the table. Finally deciding to correct him. 

Charles pretended to hit himself in the head. Making it out to be some kind of dumb mistake. “Of Course! Richie! Everyone, this is that friend of Eddie’s I was telling you about… the stand up comedian.” Charles smiled as if there was some kind of inside joke between them. The co workers laughed under their breath a bit and it made Eddie’s skin crawl. 

What the fuck did they have to laugh at? Richie was ten times more successful than those prudes could ever hope to be. 

One of Charles co workers piped up. “So why don’t you tell us a joke, Richie?” 

Richie shrugged, laughing off the obvious mockery. “Nah. I’m just here to have fun tonight fellas. Definitely check out a show sometime though.”

The co-worker scoffed. “Yeah probably not.” 

Richie just smiled back. “Yeah I get it, those ticket prices are ridiculous. I still can’t believe that people will pay that much money just to see me.” He shrugged. “It’s more than most people can afford, so I totally understand brother.” He said it all without skipping a beat and topped it off with a friendly pat on the stiff man's shoulder. 

Eddie had to hold back from laughing. Richie was good. Charles' face said it all. Richie had beaten them at their own game with ease and not an ounce of blood loss. 

“Now If you guys will excuse me, that dance floor is calling my name.” Richie said before shimmying off into the crowd. 

Eddie was left smirking at the bitterly stunned men at the table. 

The rest of the night Eddie tried to be as engaging as possible. He even managed to throw in a couple smiles and head nods to make it seem like he was paying any attention. But his focus kept drifting over to the dance floor where Richie was. 

He was dancing his ass off with a group of middle aged women who were eating up his crazy antics. Eddie couldn’t help but swoon over it. It shouldn’t have been as much of a turn on as it was for him to see Richie being Richie, but he couldn’t help it. He loved that goofball. He lit up any room he was in. Eddie wanted to just get out of there and take Richie home already. To be with him. To feel him. To have him all to himself. 

He let himself fantasize about just getting up from the table and telling Charles to fuck off while running into Richie’s arms. But the cruel memory of Richie rejecting him kept him firmly planted in his seat. He probably didn’t want to be with Eddie anymore. And why would he? Eddie had broken up with him. Maybe when Richie needed him most. Maybe he didn’t deserve Richie now. 

He probably thought Eddie only wanted him now because of his success. It made Eddie sick to think that. He loved Richie without money. He just loved Richie. It took being without him to realize how much. 

Eddie suddenly realized that Richie had fully disappeared from the dance floor. He squirmed in his seat a bit as his eyes searched the room for him. He finally spotted him by the bar, talking to a tall man who was standing much closer to Richie than necessary.

Eddie tensed, watching bitterly as the two of them swapped playful touches and laughed. Then the man leaned over and whispered something in Richie’s ear. 

“Isn’t that nice Eddie?” Charles asked, snapping him back to the reality of that dull little table in the corner. . 

“What?” Eddie asked, shaking his head. 

Charles frowned. “Brian’s wife Candice is a realtor and says she has a beautiful house on the market in a perfect location if we’re interested.” 

Eddie couldn’t think about any of that right now… or maybe ever because the thought of him and Charles moving in together made him feel like the world would end. 

Eddie smiled nervously. “Oh, I’m… yeah maybe… I…” He glanced over to where Richie and the man were again but this time the man's tongue was halfway down Richie’s throat. Eddie’s heart stopped and he nearly choked on his words as he stood up. “What the fu... I’ll be right back.” He said as he darted towards them, not caring what Charles or the others thought. 

When he reached them he tugged on Richie’s shirt hard, almost making him fall back. 

“Hey! Spagedward!” He slurred out. 

“Richie, what the fuck are y…” Eddie immediately stopped, smelling alcohol on Richie’s breath. “Have you been drinking, Richie?” 

Richie laughed at that. “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask this empty glass.” He said as he held it up. 

The tall man laughed with Richie and looked down at Eddie. “Chill man. What are you? The fucking drink police?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, ignoring the man.

The man’s eyes darted back to Richie who was flailing all over the place, barley able to keep from falling. “Maybe we should take this party back to mine, hmm?” 

Eddie’s whole body ran hot. The blood rushing into his face and fists. No way was Richie going home with this guy.

Richie looked at the man and smiled. “Sure thang, chicken wang.” He drunkenly slurred out. He began to stumble forward towards the man when Eddie quickly stood between them, putting a steadying hand on Richie’s chest. “Um I’m sorry but no.” 

The man huffed out a frustrated breath. “What the fuck man?! What’s your problem?!” 

Eddie stepped forward, ready to completely tear this mans head off. “My problem is that you are trying to fuck my drunk…” he paused unable to find the right word but settling on one that felt wrong. “Friend.” 

The guy just rolled his eyes and walked away mumbling under his breath. “Fuck this.” 

“Ed’s, what the fuck I’m just trying to have fun.” Richie said from behind him. 

Eddie turned towards him, worry hitting him when the reality of Richie drinking really hit. “Rich… why did you do this? Why are you drinking? You… you were sober.” 

Before Richie’s alcohol impaired mind could piece together what Eddie was saying, Charles walked up to them. “What’s going on, Eddie?” He asked.

“It’s fine. Richie is just really drunk. I’m going to take him home.”

It was blatantly clear Charles wasn’t pleased about it but honestly, Eddie could care less. He had one thing on his mind now. 

Eddie drove Richie’s car home while Richie slept with his head against the window the whole way. Eddie kept looking over at him. Trying to understand what was happening. Why Richie was drinking again. In the pit of his stomach he knew it must be his fault. 

When they got back Eddie helped Richie out of the car. 

As soon as Richie stood up he started to cough and held his stomach. He quickly pushed Eddie away from him and ran for the grass in their front lawn. He started to puke and Eddie turned away. Unable to watch or risk himself getting sick too at the sight. 

When Richie seemed to finish Eddie mustered up the courage to walk up to him and put a hand on his shoulder as Richie still bent over, palms pressed to his knees. 

“Richie. Why did you do this?” He asked. 

Eddie suddenly felt Richie pull away from him. “I don’t fucking need that right now from you.” He said bitterly as he started for their front door. 

Eddie followed after him. “Don’t need what?!” 

Richie jiggled the door handle angrily and realized it was locked. “Stupid fucking door.” 

“Richie. Seriously what the fuck is going on?” Eddie asked, not understanding why Richie was mad at him.

“Will you please just unlock the damn door!” Richie yelled, not looking at Eddie. 

Eddie complied, unlocking the door with his keys. When he opened the door Richie was quick to push past him into the house. 

“Richie!” Eddie called after him. “Richie fucking Tozier!” 

Richie snapped around. “What?!” 

Eddie didn’t know why but at that moment he started to feel his eyes well up with tears. His emotions suddenly cranked to one hundred. “Just tell me.” He could barely get the words out as his chest tightened and the tears started to roll down his cheeks. “Just tell me that you… you don’t feel anything for me. That you want nothing to do with me. Just fuckimg say it! I can take it!” He sobbed. 

He didn’t know what he expected to find when he looked at Richie. Pity or maybe guilt, but confusion definitely wasn’t it. 

“What?” Richie finally said after moments of silence had gone by. 

“I heard you talking to Bev this morning.” Eddie sniffed. “I know you told her you fucked up last night. That you can’t handle having to tell me you don’t feel that way anymore.” 

Richie just stared at him. Silent. 

“Fucking say something!” 

Richie suddenly let out a sad laugh. “The reason I was fighting with Bev is because she knows that I almost fucking drank myself to death the last time you broke my heart and she knows I can’t handle just hooking up with you like some little side bitch for you to play with!”

Eddie was taken aback by that. Not knowing what to say. “Richie that’s not what happened.” 

“Really? Then tell me you would leave him.” 

Eddie felt his throat closing and his skin started to burn. He swallowed his panic whole. Pushing it down as he tried to find steady ground.

“Say it!” 

“I don’t know! It’s fuckimg complicated!” Eddie finally got out. 

“No it’s not!” Richie yelled back. “You either want to be with him or me.” 

“Richie with him it’s safe, okay? I feel safe. Like my life isn’t so crazy. I’m in control. My world is steady.” 

Richie looked down at that. Eddie could see Richie was starting to cry and it broke his heart. He wasn’t saying any of this right. 

“But Richie…” Eddie started again. “With you it’s real. It's the realest thing I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s scary though. We’ve always been so different. I feel so out of control when I’m with you. Sometimes I like it… but sometimes I don’t know how to handle it.”

“Then you know who you’d choose. I was just going to be some side hook up. I mean nothing to you.” Richie bit out, trying to hold back his tears. 

Eddie walked towards him. Wanting to hold him. Wanting to show him how much he cared. “No. That’s not it!” 

Richie stepped back away from him. “Don’t.” 

There was a long pause between the two and even though Eddie had so much to say he couldn’t find his words. Feeling Richie building a wall between them. 

Richie finally sniffed and looked up at him. “You’re never going to stop seeing me as just some fucked up kid with a trashmouth, are you?” 

“Richie you know I see you as so much more than that.” If he only knew how much Eddie really thought of him. 

Richie shook his head. “I’m never good enough for you.” 

“No Rich. Please Listen.” Eddie pleaded. This was all getting so twisted. 

Richie didn’t seem to listen or care, starting to stumble down the hall. “Just leave me the fuck alone Eddie”. 

“Richie.” Eddie almost whispered. 

Richie still ignored him, slamming his bedroom door shut. The sound of it crashed through Eddie’s being and left him with the overwhelming feeling that he had completely fucked up.


	34. Stuck With You

After he had stripped out of his Charles approved outfit for the evening, Eddie opted for some of his night shorts and a tank top. He tried to carry out the rest of his night like he usually did, without crying. He was failing miserably, sniffing pathetically through his face wash routine. He couldn’t stop thinking about his fight with Richie. Playing every painful moment back in his head. Why couldn't he just say what he really felt? That he loved Richie. Only Richie. He always had. He didn’t want to be with Charles. He was just scared. He was always so fucking scared… and for what? Had he really been that brainwashed by his mother, that he couldn’t even tell the love of his life how he felt and instead would stay with a man that belittled him? 

Eddie became more and more angry at himself for being such a coward. He looked up at himself in the mirror, an overwhelming want to punch his reflection overcame him. 

“Fucking coward, Kaspbrak.” He whispered, full of disgust. He’d known self loathing before, but not like this. 

Not only was he denying himself happiness but he was taking Richie’s too. Eddie heard the pain in his voice tonight. He hurt Richie. He was still hurting him. 

And it wasn’t just now. It was clear that Richie had been hurting for a long time. Since Eddie left him years ago. When Richie was just a troubled kid. When he needed Eddie the most… he bailed. 

Eddie had never seen it that way before. He’d never been able to see anything past his own hurt. But now… maybe he was the bad guy.

The more he thought back the more his heart broke to know that he'd abandoned Richie. How could he think he was worthy of him now? Eddie didn’t deserve a second chance… or a third chance. He ruined everything. He always ruined everything. 

Eddie felt all the rage, all the guilt run through him like fire in his veins. And Just like that, before he could really process anything, it all came out at once and then he was running his fist into the bathroom wall. 

When he finally realized what he had done, Eddie just stood there, holding his bloody fist and staring at the dent. 

The door suddenly swung open and Richie ran in. “Eddie!? What the fuck was that!? He directed his attention to the hand pulled close to Eddie’s chest, bloody and bruising quickly. “Did you hurt yourself?” Richie asked with a genuine concern that both made Eddie’s heart swell and break. When Eddie didn't say anything Richie turned to see the large dent in the wall. 

“Okay…” Richie let out, confused. 

Eddie opened his mouth to speak, but found no words as the adrenaline left him. 

Richie didn't seem to need an explanation. His eyes suddenly turned soft as he walked towards Eddie. He took his hurt hand in his and looked it over. 

“Heh… Well I’m sure that wall will never mess with you again, killer.” 

Eddie didn’t answer. He just looked away, embarrassed. He knew Richie was trying to make light of the situation. 

Richie bent down to meet his eyes but Eddie refused. “Well don’t worry spaghetti.” He said as he reached a long arm up to the medicine cabinet. “I’m no Dr K, but I’ll fix you up.” 

Eddie suddenly ripped his hand away. “Richie… stop… just stop.” 

Richie sighed. His shoulders slouching into a guilty posture. “Look Eds, I was probably too harsh earlier. I was really drunk and I said some things I… I didn’t mean.” 

“Rich...”

“But I really don’t want to lose you. As a friend I mean. I just got you back and… fuck… I’ve really missed you Eds.” Richie looked desperately at him. “So can we please just forget about all this and go back to peacefully being in each other's lives?” 

“No.” Eddie bit out. “Don’t apologize. You were right.” He turned to start washing the blood off his knuckles in the sink. “I don’t deserve you… as a friend or anything else.” 

“Eddie… no that's not what I…”

“I know that’s not what you said!” Eddie cut him off. “But it’s what you meant.” 

Richie looked over at the fractured wall again. “Is that why you punched the wall?”

Eddie turned around, aggressively drying his hand with a towel. He then grabbed the ointment from Richie’s hand. “I don’t know! I’m just… I’m just so fucking mad!” 

“At what?” 

“At myself!” Eddie yelled. Trying to get the cap off and failing, making him even more frustrated. “Stupid fucking cap!” He yelled. 

Richie took it from him again and twisted the cap off without struggle. He handed it out to Eddie who just stared at him. 

“And you're still just helping me! Even after everything!” Eddie yelled as he gestured frustratedly at the open tube of ointment. 

“Eddie I’ve done things to you too… I’ve lied.” 

“Yeah but you never left me. I did that.” 

Richie's eyes changed at that. Like Eddie had struck something deep down. 

Eddie sighed. “I never knew how much I regretted that until you walked back into my life. And suddenly I realized how empty it’s been without you.” 

Richie stayed silent, just staring at Eddie as he processed the words he was saying. 

“We should have left that town together, Rich.” Eddie spoke softly. “I don’t know why I just walked away. I don’t know why I’m still doing all the things I regretted back then.” Eddie started to feel the sting of tears as his eyes grew blurry, and with just a single blink they were rolling down his cheeks, pooling at the corners of his mouth. 

Richie immediately went to him, encasing Eddie's smaller hands in his gently. “Hey, don’t do that. We've both made mistakes.” 

Eddie choked on quiet sobs as he shook his head. “I’m just so sorry Richie. I should’ve been there for you.” 

Richie's eyes began to gloss over too at that and he brought Eddie's head to his chest. Eddie felt safe there. Which just made him feel more guilty. Richie was always there for him. Even when he didn’t deserve it. He was so good. Better than most people. 

Eddie could hear the loud thump of Richies heart as the side of his face pressed against him. He Grabbed at the front of his shirt and took a deep breath in. “I never stopped to think about how you must have hurt. You had all that guilt about that kid that died…” 

“Don’t.” Richie suddenly said, stopping him. 

Eddie stayed quiet for a minute. He looked up at Richie, watching as the painful memory hit him. 

“Just… we don’t have to talk about that. Please.” 

Eddie nodded lightly, feeling guilty about bringing it up. He backed away a bit and took Richie’s hands again. “I missed you every day Rich. It killed me to see you in the halls at school after that. I pretended it didn’t but I was lying. I wanted you back the minute you were gone.”

“Eddie…”

“And after we graduated I thought I’d never see you again.” 

“Eddie stop.” Richie said as he squeezed his hands. “This stuff doesn’t matter anymore.” 

“Yes it does!” Eddie yelled, ripping his hands away. “It does Rich, because I’m doing it again! I’m fucking pretending and I’m done! I’m done pretending that I’m not in love with you!”

Richie’s face went completely blank, yet his eyes desperately searched Eddie for something. Any trace of uncertainty. 

“You… you what?” Richie finally said, a bit breathless. 

Eddie sighed. “Richie. I love you. I always have. And I don’t know why I’ve been trying so hard to fight against it. Because Richie, there’s nothing bad about you. You are so good. I let fear get in the way before but I won’t anymore. ” 

The side of Richie’s mouth threatened to curl into a giddy smile, but quickly stopped. 

“But Charles…” 

Eddie stopped him by putting a finger against Richie’s lips. 

“Richie it’s over. It’s been over since you first walked through the door.” 

Richie let out a breathy laugh, in disbelief, unable to stop the smile from stretching across his face and eyes still glossy with tears. 

Eddie smiled back and took that as a sign to keep going. To go all in. Without doubt. Without guilt. Without holding back. 

He brushed his hand against Richie’s warm cheek soothingly as his eyes wandered to Richies full lips. Remembering how they tasted and suddenly craving them. 

“Richie?” 

“Hmm?.” He hummed back, completely blissed out. “Can I kiss y…” 

Before he could even finish, Richie was bending down to meet his lips. 

Eddie immediately melted into it, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck to bring him closer. 

“I love you too.” Richie breathed into Eddie's mouth as their bodies collided. 

Eddie smiled against Richie’s lips and felt Richie mimic him. He started to push on Richie’s chest, guiding him backwards. A small whimper left Richie as his back hit the wall. Eddie licked into Richie’s mouth, forcing a moan from the taller boy’s throat. 

The two started to rut into each other, feeling the heat between them building. 

Eddie grabbed Richie’s hips and turned him around against the wall, pressing his erection into the curve of his ass. 

“Fuck… Eds.” Richie breathed as Eddie contuned to rut into him, “Eds, do you want to fuck me?” 

Eddie didn’t answer, mostly because he was too embarrassed to admit the truth. That he’d been fantasizing about Richie like this for a long time. 

“Shut up.” He said without any real bite. “Are you… would you be okay with that?”

Richie turned around. “Ed’s, babe. Nothing would make me happier than for you to rail me with your spaghetti noodle.”

A hot blush spread across Eddie’s entire face. “Richie! Oh my god! Way to ruin the mood!” 

Richie shrugged. “Hey you said you loved me! This is what you signed up for! This trashmouth isn’t returnable.” 

Eddie laughed at that and then took Richie’s face in his hands, leading him down so that their foreheads were pressed together. “Guess I’m stuck with you.” 

Richie’s looked lovingly at Eddie. “Dido.” 

They both leaned in to let their mouths meet again. It never felt like enough. They had so much lost time to make up for, but at least now the weight of the world felt a little less heavy. 

They were so wrapped up in eachother, in fact that they hadn’t heard the front door open. 

“Oh my god.” 

Eddie and Richie both pulled away to look towards the voice and saw Stanley standing there in the hallway staring at them. 

“No fucking way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! this is my first fic but I love these boys so much! expect many more chapters if you like it! :)


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